View Full Version : Welcome to the Mead Hall
The votes have been cast, so you are standing in the Mead Hall. Come in, have some mead, share your war stories, epic and blunderous. We are here to hear some tales, so help to keep us entertained. Listen to the stories passed around or contribute your own. Whatever your wish, enjoy. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif
ShadesWolf
08-18-2003, 07:09
The Mead Hall eh....
Sounds like a nice place to me.
Yes patrons, come sit down and share a few stories of your adventures with us tired and weary people......
Mount Suribachi
08-18-2003, 07:13
Hehe, calling it the Mead Hall makes we want to talk in that oo-ar accent so beloved of RPGs like BG whenever someone goes into a tavern...
Hosakawa Tito
08-18-2003, 11:44
Another fine establishment to slake one's thirst and enjoy a bard's tale with friends. Now we can go bar-hopping. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif
So after the closing of the Sword & Pistol Tavern, I finally find a new place for eating and drinking and storytelling. Suits me fine, Sirs. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
Barkeeper, fill up my tankard here. And for my last few Florines fill up everyone else's, too.
(might as well sleep in the stable tonight if I can't afford the room after this party anymore)
4 Vikings burst through the door, the one in front of them wearing a cape of blue and a gold band around his head, calls out.
Barkeep he says raising his hand in the air round of drinks for me and My Viking friends here
Hmm havnt i seen you before?
The leader of the Vikings sits on a small stool and awaits his drink, he says after a moment Yeah we got thrown out of the tavern for Fighting with a few Northumbrians.
Alright then. Just make sure you tell a story or two while your here says the warrior behind the bar as he fills 4 mugs to the brim.
Ey thanks the Vikings say one after another.
The Vikings sit by a table near the door Laughing and telling each other stories of battle and old legends forgotten by time.
*pours everyone a round*
It's on the house http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif
DemonArchangel
08-19-2003, 02:11
The village idiot delivers 60,000 gallons of mead to the tavern
karmastray
08-19-2003, 05:21
This place serve wheat-grass juice? Some of us medieval warrior-chieftains like to maintain their figures, you know
karmastray downs his repulsive tankard of wheat-grass and lets out a long, encouraging belch
Now that's what I call good s**t
I just noticed my pic...what a pansy..
frogbeastegg
08-19-2003, 09:05
In one of the quieter corners of the Mead Hall is a frog, she's sat on a comfy chair and is slowly drinking some mead. Occasionally the frog will scribble something on a piece of parchment, look at it for a while before muttering 'No, that's not right either....' On closer inspection the parchment is labelled 'Exclusive Trader' and is covered in names: Bill....William-yep that's it Now let's see Doors.....portals..no way...portcullis...no that's not right either. Without looking up the frog ducks a throwing axe, which thuds into the wall behind her, and writes William Doors, Exclusive Trader on her parchment in clear, careful writing. The frog smiles.
Duke John
08-19-2003, 10:34
The door opened and a tall bearded men dressed in grey robes entered the room. He stood there for a moment and looked around. A frown appeared on his forehead and he took his long pipe from his mouth: Is this tavern by any chance called the Prancing Pony?
The tavern suddenly went quiet and people were looking at the old man pitiful or puzzled.
Damn, Gandalf thought, wrong dimension again.
The_Emperor
08-19-2003, 14:06
*A man dressed in Knightly armour approaches, his squire behind him clapping a pair of coconuts*
Dismount *The man dismounts, walks inside*
Barkeeper some of your finest mead
*The man then begins to tell the tale of the Blundering King of England...*
*Serves up a round of excellent brew, and another vegie juice drink for karmastay* http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif
A Knight who happens to venture into the Hall bumps into the one of the Vikings causing him to spill his mead all over himself and his friends. The four Rise and draw their axes and look upon the frail knight weith ragefull eyes.
Uhh...I am sorry for that says the knight who is clearly frieghtened by the Vikings' weapons and stature.
I'm afraid thats not good enough says on as he takes his sword in hand.
The hall erupts into a hail of shouts and taunts and the Knight and one the Vikings begin to fight. The Viking lunges at the knight and cuts his arm from his body.
Well your not as good as i thought. says the viking looking at the blood spirt from the Knight's body.
Well... Stuters the Knight, he then remembe's an old story that might caus the viking confusion, T..Tis but a scratch.
A scratch? exclaims the Viking with a puzzled face, You arm is off
No it isn't
Well what's that then? yells the Viking pointing the the ground at a disembodied arm.
ive had worse, says the knight as he looks down then back at his shoulder.
You liar
Oh come on you panzy shouts the knight thrusting forth his sword.
The Viking and the Knight battle for another 10 seconds before the Viking cuts the Second arm of the Kinght off. Victory is mine he shouts
The Viking kneels down and begins thanking Odin for the battle that was presented to him, but all of a sudden the Knight kicks the Viking in the head.
Com on then says the knight as he kicks the VIking again.
What? says the surprised Viking
Have at you exclaims the Knight kicking him once more.
Look you stupid bastard you've got no arms left Yells the viking with a laugh.
yes i have
Just then an arrow flies from the corner where there sat a longbowman, the arrow peirces the Knight's heart and he falls dead on the floor.
i do not know about the rest of you, he begins to say as he drinks his cup of brew, but that was getting very annoying.
The Vikings return to their drink and laughing and everybody soon forgets all about the dead Knight lying on the floor.
Thanks for the arrow, dear archer.
I was just beginning to think : oh no, not that scene again .....
Have a drink on me.
Barkeep, a glass of coconut rum for this good man here.
*Slides the drink down the bar to the waiting patron*
Always wanted to do that. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
Marshal Murat
10-01-2003, 02:09
Walking in, a Gascon, dressed in fine black and gold plated armor, sits down in a far corner, unrolling a scroll and looking intently upon it. Walking up a drunk man yells at him, Heayayeyey youaous gerrouta myaaai seeaaeat. Looking up, he draws a katana from a sheath, hangin to the side, and gets up. Drawing his (drunk man) sword, he raises it up to deliver a blow to the Gascon head. As he swings down, the Gascon swings to the left and brings the blade across the drunkards chest, and brings it back out, neatly slitting the drunkards stomach. Falling forward the drunk man doesn't move. Dragging the man out, they look for the miscreant. He is knowhere to be seen..... hehehehehehe
TheSilverKnight
10-01-2003, 03:21
*comes in, banging the door behind him, attracting the attention of everyone in the room*
Suddenly, a man yells: HEY Ain't that the King of Mercia??
Everyone grows silent, and I take off my crown and sit at a table, conversing with the commoners. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif
*taps his fork on a glass* Barkeep Free rounds for my people, and keep them coming This is being paid for by the government http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
*cheers ring out and knives go flying across the room as a large party begins*
TheSilverKnight
10-04-2003, 23:53
*the people crowd around him as he begins to tell a tale of misery and woe*
You see, I am the famous King of Mercia. I suppose you've all heard of me? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif *cheers ring out in agreement*
I was the one who chased the Vikings out of England. It t'was but a few months ago when war was renewed and I had but a rabble of soldiers. The Vikings invaded my kingdom with some of their best men. Prince Sven, Prince Erik, and King Haraeld IV. They invaded me with 800 men against my rabble of 400 foot knights, mounted nobles, and archers. Nobody thought I'd have a chance. The Vikings attacked me with Jomsvikings, and I rolled my eyes wearily and said Oh no Not this way again. With my archers, I rained a storm of arrows on the Vikings, slaughtering them. They kept throwing walls of soldiers against my well-picked position, but to no avail. I even killed Prince Erik, when my foot knights collided with his men, and one of my brave lads managed to stab him right through the face with a huge bloody sword It was just hilarious http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif Anywho, the battle was over in less than five minutes, with both Princes and the King dead, and 700 more Vikings. Good thing the Vikings had a Prince in Denmark, or I would've had no more fighting for a long while, eh? *the people laugh*...unfortunately, there was a saddening casualty in the battle. My eldest son, Prince Offa, was killed by a Jomsviking named Lars Soerensen...t'was a horrible day that. But I too had another heir. Prince Aelfwald. The battle was a well won victory for the Mercians, but at a great price.
..........................................................
Anyways Who needs a refill on their drink? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
The four Vikings, who had been laughing and telling long sagas of their homelands, were now in silence before the Mercian King as they heard him laughing and mocking their people.
I can't take this said one as he grabbed his axe, I will kill him myself
The leader of the four, who had already drawn his sword and set it by his side, said We shall wait, if he says much more, then we strike.
TheSilverKnight
10-05-2003, 02:54
*gets up, and walks over to the four Vikings at the table, smiling* No hard feelings, friends. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif Shall I refill your mugs? *yells to the barkeep* Barkeep Fill up these gentlemen's mugs, will you? We'd like to keep our friends here happy http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
Marshal Murat
10-05-2003, 03:32
Watching the unfolding saga, the Gascon gets up and takes his scroll and sits down beside the three vikings (one had to answer the call of nature)and the Mercian king had left and explains to them another sad tale. I was from a time ago when the highlands where full of carefree Scots and sheep. Then one day my familiy along with myself were captured by a Mercian warlord. Where made to construct a large castle that is now layed to ruin by the true Mercian king. He forced us to work on a better castle. I swore many years ago that I shall slay that man, and I plan to. Standing up he walks back to the small table, and looks at the parchment.
TheSilverKnight
10-05-2003, 03:49
*overhears the Gascon, and gets up* Did you say you plan to slay me, the King of Mercia? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mad.gif Do you wish to slay me? I have done nothing to harm you. The warlord which captured you, Aelfgar of Lindissi, was executed by me when I became King. I set your family free, and they are in Scotland now. I did not mean for my men to act so harshly upon your people, and I apologize for their behaviour. Let me buy you a drink, my friend. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif hopefully we can better acquaint ourselves with each other. *refills your mug with the keg of beer at the table, then walks to tell another battle tale*
Marshal Murat
10-05-2003, 04:04
*taking the mug he pours it into the floorboards*
Closing his eyes he places his feet upon the table, showing a hint of kilt.
TheSilverKnight
10-05-2003, 14:22
*after a while, orders the barkeep to refill everyone's glasses, for they drank it all in the last two battle sagas I told, when suddenly, a fight erupts on the other side of the tavern between two Northumbrians and a Saxon*
Look, my people http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif Entertainment *The two Northumbrians, which are Nobles, are slaughtered by the Saxon Huscarle in a matter of minutes. I then get up to go walk to the Gascon, and see the beer spilled on the floor*
Why do you insult me sir? I try to be nice to you, I refill your beer mug, and you insult me by pouring it on the floor. Why do you...*sees the kilt, and is speechless*...sir...I challenge you to a duel..right here, right now..
Marshal Murat
10-05-2003, 14:31
Opening an eye in disgust, the Gascon stands up and pushes the table aside, and drawns his katana and dirk.
You want to know where I got this fine blade? I heard of it from a merchant who has gone to the ends of the earth, where the world drops into a abyss, this was forged by the gods in a mighty mountain from the star in the sky. I paid dearly to get this sword, fighting though Mongol hordes, and your vile guardsmen to the land and got this sword, to avenge my family A snarl almost glues itself to his face as he watches the King of Mercia. *barkeep watches from behind counter*
TheSilverKnight
10-05-2003, 14:36
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pissed.gif *It seems as if flames are sparking from the King's eyes* You really don't want to make me angry, lad. I've been killing Scots since before you were born *takes a stab at him with his sword, and blocks with his shield, as the rest of the tavern watches in excitement* You see, the world doesn't end in an abyss. The world is a circular sphere, and no matter now far you go, you won't fall off *takes another stab* I don't get your problem I try to be nice to you, and you insult me so *takes yet another stab, and blocks with shield*
Marshal Murat
10-05-2003, 14:45
Well that sucks because I am number 1 bragger in my domain, unlike you, for have none, you are a sad man, that can't defend your borders except by using luck and local peasents. I http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mad.gif know the world is a sphere I've traveled it many a time, and learned many a trick
*sheathes his dirk and slashes in a clean stroke off a table leg* Taking it in one hand and the katana in another, he prepares to fight. *tension hangs in the air*
TheSilverKnight
10-05-2003, 14:56
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pissed.gif I really don't wish to fight you And you know that it is not true I defend my realm with peasants I defend it with armoured foot soldiers and mounted cavalry How dare you insult my realm *slashes a clean cut on your leg, making you collapse on the ground* http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pissed.gif
Marshal Murat
10-05-2003, 15:12
(which leg), standing up, the Gascon out streches his hand, the katana put away. Suddenly a boom echos outside the hall and a old man in grey cloak and pointy hat with a sign Gandalf Apprentice Excuse me is this the prancing pony? Looking around, he sees blank faces and walks out, dropping a bag. Hobblin over, the Gascon looks inside and applies some to the cut, the skin growing over the wound, making it new. Taking the bag, he tucks it into his sporan. Stretching out his hand again to the King. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif
TheSilverKnight
10-05-2003, 15:16
(right leg). *takes the Gascon's hand, and helps him up* I'm sorry for fighting with you, Misseur le Gascon. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif *looks the Gascon over slowly* How would you like a position in my Royal Foot Guards? You look strong..I could use a man such as you. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif *the people disperse and go back to drinking, as the low hum of the fiddle and clavichord fill the room again*
Marshal Murat
10-05-2003, 15:21
No sir King of Mercia I must leave and claim my title of King of Wales Taking the parchment he walks out of the door into the cold night air, the magic having healed his leg, and while walking turns and runs back inside. Looking around he finds his prey. Gabing a bagpipe from under a table, he puffs it up and begins to play Scotland the Brave and exits yet again.
TheSilverKnight
10-05-2003, 15:24
*stands at the doorway, bewildered, but then, he grins* Nice lad, he is. He'll do well.. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif *turns back around and goes to have a beer*
The larger of the four Vikings lets out a yell Ay now that's what i call Entertainment
Yes, answer one but they didn't kill each other, this be good ol' Norway we would have seen blood upon the floor
Ahh al the same remarks another, it has been good drinking with all of you, Even you Sven. Now i must be off, i am supposed to lead an assualt on Ireland ere the month is done.
The other Vikings raise their mugs and shout May you slay many enemies, and may you be with Odin they down their drinks as the one leaves. Sven, who was the larger of the three, shouts above the cries of the others Hey, Where's me Drink?
The barkeep comes over with three new mugs for the Viking warriors.
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