PDA

View Full Version : Red banners, blue banners



Axeknight
03-30-2004, 16:49
The watchman, Thomas Style, first saw the riders. He awoke the bleary-eyed sergeant, a Scotsman who grunted and pronounced:
“Bloody Lancers. See how they ride, Thomas? They always ride like that, hurtin’ the poor horses.” He looked out through the passing night, still half-asleep, before repeating, “Aye. Bloody Lancers.”
“What’s wrong with Lancers, Rob?” the watchman asked. He was still just a boy, and was not aware of the infantryman’s contempt of the mounted wing of the army.
“Rich buggers, that’s what’s wrong with ‘em. ‘Lord Fitzwilliamson, Duke of somewhereorother and commander of the King’s army’” the sergeant mocked, striking a stupid pose as he did. “‘Sides, they’re arrogant an’ all. ‘You, commoner, fetch my horse some hay’ they says” he looked down his nose at the watchman as he said this, again mocking the upper classes.
“Should I light the watchfire?” asked Style,
“Go on ‘en.”

The messenger stood in front of the Englishman, Baron Hugh Fitzjohn.
“Lord Stephan de Toulouse sends word, monsieur, zat ze armies of ze English King occupy ze land of Aquitaine against ze will of ze French people. ‘E asks zat you remove your armies from zis province, or ‘e will be forced to revert to crude warfare.”
“Tell the Lord Stephan, that this land belongs to King Henry II, and any attempt to take it will be resisted by the King’s armies. Now go”
“My Lord, ze Lord Stephan de…”
“GO” Fitzjohn interrupted fiercely. The messenger took the hint and left. “Damn their eyes. Langland”

“Wrong arm, yer fool” the sergeant laughed as the boy struggled to put on his chainmail coat.
“I knows. I knows.”
“Yer don’t, or yer’d put it on right the firs’ time”
“What’s these Frenchies like anyway?”
“Same as you English. Knights in fancy armour and ord’nary men in no armour. Rich men leadin’ poor men.”
“But…”
“But nothin’. All comes down to who’s got more men, or better weapons, or wha’ever. No, the shield goes on the left arm ye eejit”

A calm, fine day. A lovely day, were it not for the French. A month had passed since the messengers had left, indignantly trotting out of the castle as though it belonged to them. Soon, God forbid, it might thought Fitzjohn, surveying his men.
“Frenchies forming up in the valley, sir. Looks like about 5,000 men, sir.” Panted the scout, out of breath from the run up the hill that the English army was positioned on.
Damn their eyes 5,000 That’s twice what we have Let’s hope those Welshmen do their jobs right.
“Those longbows are frightening, sir.” The scout seemed to know what he was thinking.
“Hmm… Cavalry on the flanks, Langland?” he turned to his squire.
“Yes, sir”
“Good. The whole battle rests on those Welshmen.” He gestured to the longbowmen forming up behind the wall of spears, “God help us.”

They could see the French now. Their blue banners swayed in the air above blocks of blue soldiers. The sun glinted off their spears, swords and shields. All was still. The French commander was probably still deciding whether to launch the cavalry scouts, or just attack. Rob Ross and Thomas Style stood close to the centre of the English line, two of the ‘lucky’ ones. The front row, about as lucky as the pox. They rested their heavy spears on their shoulders, like all the other soldiers. Their teardrop shields were attached to their left forearms, creating a form of the old ‘shield wall’ their ancestors had fought in. The line seemed to stretch forever to their left and right. Behind them were the longbowmen, those tough Welshman who held their massive bows down by their sides. Off in the distance, they could see the scouts trading the first blows of the engagement, the horsemen now attacking each other, now withdrawing, now attacking. It seemed so far away, down there in the valley, as though the battle was just there, and didn’t apply up on the hill. The English horsemen withdrew first. First blood to the French, it seemed from the line. The initial skirmishes were over, now, and the French began to advance.

“Here they come, sir.”
“Hmm… Move the line forward ten paces.” Fitzjohn stood at the back, just to the right of the centre, as the ancient generals had done.
“Aye, sir.” Langland then shouted, “LINE WILL MOVE TEN PACES FORWARDS” The various officers and sergeants along the line repeated the order, and slowly the line shuffled forwards.
“Faster, damn you My God, I hope they move their mangy, pox-ridden hides a little faster when the French arrive” Fitzjohn rode forward his ten paces, and then said, “Langland, I’m going to the longbowmen. Who’s commanding them? Anyway, I’m going to give the orders there. Whoever it is, they’ll probably end up firing far too early.”

The French were at the foot of the hill, now, and behind them Ross and Style heard Fitzjohn roaring orders they didn’t understand, his sword raised. Suddenly, he swept his sword down, and the sky went black. The bodkin arrows shot overheard. The young ones crouched and covered their heads. The veterans just stood, knowing that the longbowmen were better than that. The arrows struck the front row of the French line, and bodies fell, the line weakening for a second, but then the men behind stepped forwards, and the line kept marching up the hill as though nothing had happened.
“Merciful Lord” Style, pious to the end, exclaimed to Ross, who just stood, facing forward. He was waiting for the French reply. There, the French crossbowmen stopped, took aim, and fired. But the morning air had dampened their strings, and those that did fire fell short. A few lucky shots, a few dead, but nothing serious. The longbows answered, their strings better looked after, their arrows doing real damage. Again, the French stepped over their dead, and kept going.
“Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. Protect me, Lord, from those who wish to do me harm. Amen.” The Scotsman looked up again, reassured now.

“Send the Cavalry out wide. We’ll hold them, then flank them.”
“Sir.” The cavalryman rode back to the body of armoured, mounted Knights.
“When the Frenchy gets to that point,” Fitzjohn gestured to a piece of scrub twenty paces ahead of the English line, “charge.”
“Sir.” The spear officer did as the cavalryman had done, walking back to his line.

The longbows had fired about ten volleys at the enemy line, now, and they would have to stop soon, Fitzjohn knew, as he swept down his sword, ordering the eleventh volley at the French line. They were getting close, and the longbows would soon be forced to concentrate on the enemy crossbowmen, as the spears of both lines would be locked together, inseparable.
“You” Fitzjohn gestured to the man who was supposed to be in command. What was his name? Never mind. “You have command of these Welshmen. Target the crossbowmen.”
“Sir. The crossbowmen, sir.” The man knew not to aggravate Fitzjohn with questions. That just made him angrier.
“Don’t repeat it, DO IT”
“Yes, sir Bowmen, present”
“Now where are those damned cavalrymen? Langland”

“Where are those cav’lrymen? Rich buggers…” Ross scanned the horizon, always returning to the French line, always looking for the second when the enemy spearmen began to run, when the fight began.
“Gone, Rob. Gone.” Style looked distraught.
“Better off without ‘em. Now look for’ard, boy”

There, they were at that piece of scrub he’d shown. Why wasn’t that spear officer charging his men? And where were those damned cavalry? Damn them all Fitzjohn dismounted, shoving the reins of his horse at Langland. He was running through the longbowmen, who were now duelling with the enemy crossbows. There, the line of spearmen. He kept running.
“Charge Charge, damn your eyes CHARGE” He reached the front row, “Damn you all Charge, you pox-ridden, stinking cowards” he screamed as the men reacted to the heavily armoured Baron in their front row, and began to run forwards.

“Come, on Thomas Let’s go” shouted Ross as the Baron came up level with them. They began to run at the French, the gap closed, and then the two lines struck.

Fitzjohn was still with the spearmen, swinging his huge sword at the blue spearmen in front of him. To his left and right, he could see the line was holding. A Frenchman thrust his spear at him. Fitzjohn batted it aside, snarled, and reversed his parry into the man’s neck. Prising the sword away from the limp body, he stabbed at the Frenchman to his left. He twisted the blade free, and glanced to his left and right. Still holding. Good. He parried another thrust, this time hacking down at the man’s shoulder. He had to get out of the spear block if he was to command the battle, but he couldn’t leave, the men would think he was running away. He stabbed a Frenchman in the guts, twisting the sword to free it as the man slumped. He couldn’t leave the fight. He’d have to leave the other aspects of the battle to his subordinates. Damn.

Ross and Style were close to Fitzjohn, still in the centre of the battle line. They thrusted their spears at the French, parrying and deflecting blows on their shields as they did. Ross was fighting like a demon, screaming Highland war cries. He caught a spear on his shield, stabbing the man in the ribs. The spear stuck. He let go, still catching blows on his shield. He thrust the end at a Frenchman, catching him in the stomach. He then used the metal boss to smash the man’s skull. Scrabbling for a weapon, he picked up a French spear. Screaming a challenge, he got up, driving the spear up into the ribs of a Frenchman about to skewer Style. Men were falling left and right. Out of the corner of his eye, Ross saw one of the red banners fall. It was quickly hoisted up again, and brought back into the third rank, where it was safe.

Casualties seemed even to Fitzjohn, it was a case of who lost their nerve first and ran. A few men running would send the rest flying. That could not happen.
“Hold firm Hold Firm” he hacked and slashed at the blue soldiers, snarling like a madman. A Frenchman lunged at him; he parried the blow and stabbed the man in the neck. The man behind him did not step forward into his place. Instead he turned and ran. The men next to him, seeing their comrade flee, also ran. Just as Fitzjohn had hoped, the enemy had lost their nerve first. The rout snowballed and soon the French battle line was in full flight. He saw some men about to chase the routing French.
“Hold position A pox on any man who chases” he could not give up the high ground. Fitzjohn turned, heading back to the command position to find out how the rest of the battle was going.

“We beat them back Rob We beat them” Style was elated.
“They might not even come back.” Ross did not believe this, not for a second, but he had to keep Style from panicking.
“Line will move back five paces.” Said the officer, repeating the orders he had just been given. Although they could still see the bodies of their comrades and enemies, they needn’t stand on them, so the line was moving back. Ross and Style turned and shuffled back, hearing the worse educated soldiers counting the steps aloud on their fingers.

“THE BAGGAGE TRAIN? THEY’RE LOOTING THE BAGGAGE TRAIN?” Fitzjohn’s face was a most unhealthy shade of deep purple. “WELL TELL THEM TO GET THEIR ARMOURED BACKSIDES BACK HERE. NOW” the cavalry officer, in his infinite cavalryman’s wisdom, was miles away, looting the French tents and wagons. Damn him. Damn the cavalry. Damn everything. Climbing back onto his horse, he saw the French; now back at the bottom of the valley. The crossbows and longbows had long run out of arrows and bolts, and the lines of spear were slowly reforming, far back from the lines. If only he had the cavalry, Fitzjohn could charge downhill, routing the crossbowmen and cavalry, who would then rout the spearmen, again. The battle would be over in minutes. But his only horses were himself and his bodyguards. He stared at the Welshmen, taking off their bows and empty quivers, sitting down on the grass. The Welshmen They don’t have armour to slow them down, and we can catch the armoured crossbowmen easily Yes, he would turn the bowmen into a scratch light infantry unit. He would have preferred Highlanders, those tough clansmen. Oh, for a few hundred clansmen
“Langland Tell those idle Welshmen,” he gestured at the bowmen sitting on the grass, “to leave their bows, quivers, and anything else they use for archery. Swords and round-shields only.”
“Sir?” Langland did not understand
“They’re going to charge.”
“Charge, Sir?”
“Yes Charge, Langland”
“Sir.” Langland gave in, “LONGBOWS, DROP ARCHERY EQUIPMENT. SWORDS AND SHIELDS ONLY”

“Eh? What’s happening, Rob?”
“I don’t know laddy. I don’t know.”
“Company, loose formation. Let the Welshmen through.” The order was passed along the line, and a low murmur spread down the line.
“The bowmen, Rob?” Ross simply shrugged, and took his two paces right before facing forwards again. Style, who now understood he wouldn’t get an answer, did the same.

“Bowmen, on me Charge” Fitzjohn and his bodyguards galloped down the hill, not even looking back to see if the bowmen were following. They needn’t have bothered, anyway. The bowmen, confused by the orders as they were, were running down the hill, looking menacing. About the first time I’ve ever seen a Welshman look menacing, let alone hundreds of them thought Fitzjohn as he levelled his cavalryman’s lance, ready for the charge. He and his bodyguards were far in front of the bowmen. But by the time the Frenchy had reacted to my charge, those Welshmen would have arrived. The spearmen behind closed and began to run down the hill. What? That wasn’t what I told Langland Damn him to hell

“Line will charge” the officer shouted, once again merely the messenger, the relay from senior officers to men. Oh, but to be a general He thought as the men began to jog down the hill.

“We’re off, sonny” Ross was still confused as to the bowmen, but it felt good to be the one acting, rather than reacting. He jogged, trying to avoid the bodies that lay where the French attack had been. Style was looking sick. Getting past the bodies, they saw the general’s men strike the line of crossbowmen.

Fitzjohn thrust his lance at the nearest crossbowman, skewering him. The lance splintered. Damn He unsheathed his sword, hacking to the left and right of his horse. A Frenchman aimed his crossbow, with a bolt he had found on the ground at Fitzjohn, and fired. But the bowstring was damp, and the bolt did not fire. Dropping the unwieldy crossbow, the man scrabbled for his dagger. Fitzjohn snarled, and slashed at his throat. The man fell. Stabbing another, he twisted the blade free as the Welshmen arrived. The crossbowmen wavered, then ran.

The spearmen were not far behind the bowmen, and soon the battle line had reformed, spear then bow, ready to meet the cavalry. Except they didn’t.

Fitzjohn had the initiative; he had to press the charge home. His men hacked at the fleeing crossbowmen.
“Knights To me” the bodyguards soon reformed. “Their general Twenty gold pieces to the man who kills him” he put his exhausted horse into a last gallop, whispering to it “Just this one more, Copenhagen, then you can rest.” The French general (What was his name? Lord Stephan de somewhereorother) and his bodyguards were up ahead. As he closed, he saw the cavalry arrive from the baggage train, straight into the fleeing spearmen and crossbowmen. That’s the one thing they can do right, he reflected, chase down routing troops. And people call them chivalrous He closed with the French general’s men, again hacking left and right. However, the French lord turned out to have nothing to back up the tough words he had sent the previous month. He and his men turned and fled, and he saw one of his men cut down a knight with a plume in his helmet. Damn. I’d hoped to kill the man myself, save the expense. That’s twenty pieces gone.

Fitzjohn dismounted in front of the men, walking along the line of spears, rapping his knuckles on their breastplates.
“You did well today, men. The glory of the crown and the army is preserved” he reached to end of the front row of spears, and walked past the others to the bowmen behind “And you lot did reasonably well, too. I’m pleased.” a cheer broke out among the ranks of Welshmen.

“Hey, he rapped his knuckles on me breastplate, Rob And yours, too” Style was ecstatic.
“Aye, he did. Said we did well. He may be a rich bugger, an’ he may have the temper of a rabid wolf, but I like that Baron Fitzjohn. Brave rich bugger.”

*EDIT* had to put in italics for the thoughts
*EDITY EDIT* am the king of typoes...

Axeknight
03-30-2004, 16:50
My first contribution, creative criticism please. Don't be nice, tell me if there's something wrong with it, I want to know

frogbeastegg
03-30-2004, 17:25
Things move slowly around here, and comments can be quite rare so don't feel disheartened. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

Nice piece, it reminded me a bit of Bernard Cornwall. About the only useful thing I can pass on is something my own proofreader told me (he goes through the stories after I post them). The first word inside any speech marks should be capitalised, after those speech marks you don't need to capitalise the non-speech stuff...er, bad explanation. Demo:
I fear I shall die of old age before this demo finishes downloading exclaimed frogbeastegg, Good thing I have a story to read while I wait or I would be in danger of dozing off at the keyboard.

Axeknight
03-30-2004, 17:39
Thanks Lady Frog Yeah, I read alot of Cornwell, and I'm really enjoying the Aubrey/Maturin tales of Patrick o' Brian. Bit of a historical fiction nut.

Dang I knew that speech mark thing Just forgot while writing. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-no.gif I can be so stupid

I now know what you meant when you said that the characters in your Princess Eleanor (sp?) series just told you what was going to happen and you wrote it. My characters didn't even have the decency to tell me They just ran off, insulting me as they went Ross and Style were going to be bit characters - just there in the first scene to start it off - but then they turned up at the battle, in the spear line. And Fitzjohn was supposed to stay put, the idea being that the story could be told from the point of view of the commander, ordering people about, and the ordinary soldiers (Ross and Style), following the orders. But then the spears didn't charge, and he just ran off I couldn't call him back, so I had to have him fight.

P.S For extra points, guess the V&Vs Fitzjohn would have if he were in MTW...

*EDIT* Gah, typoes

Ludens
04-07-2004, 17:04
Creative critisism? I am sorry, but I am not good at that http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif .

Good job, Axeknight. A nice battle report. I liked the way you kept switching between perspectives, although you might have done it a little too often at the end. Fitzjohn's character was also good.
The only thing that is required to make this a real story, in stead of 'just' a battle report, is a theme. You need to give a reason for the story. Why is this battle? Why are the characters here? Why do they do what they do? But such a thing is hard (and not really necessary) when writing a battle report. But anyway, you did a fine job, and I look forward to reading more from you.

Axeknight
04-07-2004, 17:26
First off, thanks for your comments, Ludens http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif Any creative criticism is appreciated.

Erm... When you say 'battle report' do you mean MTW-related? Cause this battle has never happened to me in the game, 'twas just 'sumfing wot I wrote', so to speak.

Yeah, I want to write more for these characters, as I like them, but at the moment they're about as deep as your average paddling pool. Hopefully, if I get round to it, I'll finish the next bit.

As far as a 'reason', I'm hoping to turn this one battle into a campaign, where Fitzjohn (Word kept changing the name with spellcheck to 'Fit John', v. annoying) rises in station from being a Baron in charge of a small garrison force in a far corner of France, to... well, you'll see. The same goes for the two soldiers, Ross and Style. They're tied to Fitzjohn and will also rise in station. I want to make more of Style. He doesn't actually do much in this bit, except be a bit annoying. I really like Ross, though. Expect more anti-rich, anti-knight comments from the Scottish one...

But I'm going to write more than just battles (this is all if I get round to it, BTW), there'll hopefully be spying, assassinations, raiding and pillaging, politics, etc.

Ludens
04-07-2004, 17:52
Quote[/b] (Axeknight @ April 07 2004,18:26)]When you say 'battle report' do you mean MTW-related? Cause this battle has never happened to me in the game, 'twas just 'sumfing wot I wrote', so to speak.
What I mean with 'battle report' is the kind of story which gives the events from one battle, perhaps with a few actors to liven things up, and thats it. Indeed, they usually originate from MTW (or STW in my case). They tend to be rather dry because the only one who is really interested in the battle is the one who fought it.
A real story is not a dry summary of what happened. A real story always has a underlying 'reason' or pattern. This 'theme' of the story lets it make sense: events in the story do not happen without a reason.


Quote[/b] ]As far as a 'reason', I'm hoping to turn this one battle into a campaign, where Fitzjohn rises in station from being a Baron in charge of a small garrison force in a far corner of France, to... well, you'll see.
Well, this is a theme. I hope you can find time to write a story about it.
Anyway, this was a battle report so I didn't expect a theme in the first place.


Quote[/b] ]Word kept changing the name with spellcheck to 'Fit John', v. annoying
You can switch of auto-correction for spelling errors with extra > auto-correction and then removing the tag at the bottom of the window. This is how it works in Word 2000.

And I completely forgot to thank Froggy for the tip about speech marks
Thank you http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/ht_bow.gif

nick_maxell
04-09-2004, 07:27
Very nice axeknight

I liked the multiple charakters narrating from their point of view but I have to go with Ludens that an underlying theme or reason for the battle would have made the story much stronger (disregarding the MTW connection). I found your highlanders not very convincing as even today the language they call English is very different and at that time was for most commoners gaelic - so drop in the gaelic word for fat rich man on horseback to spice them up a bit. Also nobles spoke french so your hero fitz should have known the exact name as it was possibly his first cousin ;) - just my 2 cents keep up the good work

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/cheers.gif

nick

Axeknight
04-09-2004, 13:48
Thanks for the comments Nick http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif

I like the idea of using gaelic - shall try to get Ross to curse in Scots gaelic... And Fitzjohn shall learn some French swearwords too

The next part is 25% done. Not much of Style or Ross in it, not so much action either, but its coming together nicely, if slowly.

Axeknight
04-22-2004, 20:47
“Monsieur, monsieur” The man walked slowly through the street, always looking to his sides. He pretended to shrug off the attentions of the local woman, looking to profit from his apparent loneliness, and slipped the note into her hand without breaking his stride. The night was dangerous; the man had to be careful. He wore a large, ill-fitting cape, with a pair of breeches with the stripes that were fashionable the previous year, and a shirt that was fashionable two years previously, and a sword in an ever so slightly rusty scabbard. In all, he looked like a not particularly well-off man at arms, not nearly so rich as a Knight or Lord, but not a peasant, either. He headed down the street, still nervously touching his sword from time to time. He had to keep up the ‘poorish man at arms’ act, or he would arouse suspicion. And ‘poorish men at arms’ were all afraid of being robbed. There were plenty of professional soldiers in the town, men who could not afford their own armour and had taken theirs from dead nobles. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a soldier accept the offer from the woman he had refused. They went into the inn. The man kept on walking. The soldier was Celine’s business now.

“I will do it, monsieur. Now money, monsieur.” Celine looked nervously about her,
“Good, good. Here it is, my Celine, here it is.” The man spoke soothingly, and handed over the cloth bag.
“Thank you, monsieur, thank you.”
“Now go. Make sure no one sees you. Go back to your corner. The militia knows you, they won’t pester you.”
“Yes. Thank you, monsieur” the woman walked quickly away, hiding the bag. You can always rely on them, reflected the man, to do anything for money. After all, that’s how they make their living.

Baron Hugh Fitzjohn was now known to his men as ‘Hero of Aquitaine’, or, in quieter company ‘The Rabid Baron’, due to his unquestionable battle prowess and even less questionably short temper. Although the men feared his anger, they also liked him. He sat at his oak table, reading and rereading the letter he had been sent.


Year of our Lord 1260, Royal Estates


Hugh Fitzjohn, of the Barony of Saint-Jean-de-Luz,

His Highness King Henry II, Lord of England, Ireland, Wales, Scotland and rightful Lord of France, recognizes your glorious victory of late. His highness is pleased, and has decided, in his divine-given wisdom, to grant you a contingent of five hundred of his majesty’s knights, that you may better defend the province of Aquitaine against those who would falsely claim France for their own.

Your humble servant,
W. de Montfort, King’s secretary


After the fourth reread of the letter, Fitzjohn finally spoke,
“Langland Our food provisions; how are they?”
“We can just support what we have, Sir, little more.”
“Damn them Of all the reinforcements I could have been sent… Welsh longbowmen, spearmen, men-at-arms… Of all the reinforcements, they give me knights Five hundred infantrymen I could feed, but five hundred well-fed knights and nigh-on a thousand horses with them Langland, how goes our economy?”
“The crop was less than expected last year, Sir, though a trading expedition set out from our harbour last year, they may be back soon, God willing.”
“Let us hope they come back, and with something expensive”

The man rode swiftly through the forest, his scabbard clanging against his boot. He held on to the scabbard with his free hand. He couldn’t be caught now, after all these months spent without suspicion. Breaking out of the forest, he saw the border, and the fort. The watchfire was dull, untended. Good. That meant the watchmen were distracted. Riding closer, he heard her laughter. Celine was inside. The man broke into a gallop, rode past the fort, and down into the valley below. Safety.

He had ridden hard, and got to Toulouse two days later. After a night’s restless sleep, filled with the nightmares, he was on the streets. He was dressed normally; he did not need the man-at-arms disguise anymore. He turned right down a filthy back alley, the walls foully discoloured by blood and vomit, and saw the Alehouse. Or rather, heard it. The best way, he had learnt, to find an illegal Alehouse was to listen for the brawling that perpetually went on. Bracing himself, he stepped inside. Half expecting a sudden silence to fall when he entered, he was relieved when he saw all the customers watching the brawl in the far corner. Both of the fighters were obviously drunk to oblivion, and one seemed to have broken his ankle. The other threw a haphazard punch at the first’s face, connecting with his jaw. The first fighter fell heavily into one of the tables, shattering it. At this, the bartender ran over, apparently to break up the fight. Instead, he kicked the first fighter in the groin.
“Don’t touch my tables”

The ship docked, and a great cheer rose up from the sailors. It was a small duel-sail-square-rigged galley designed for speed, and had left Bergerac port last year brand new, with barely a scratch on her gold-leafed finishings. She now arrived home with barely an inch of her original sailcloth remaining, the mizenmast gone, reducing her to a single sail, and dozens of holes, some left unplugged. The captain clambered down the netting, jumping onto the pontoon with an air of total relief. He dusted himself down, his ‘best uniform’ now looking like something left to the moths for a number of years, and with the blue colour and green facings faded. Striding down the pontoon, he saw the Baron waiting ashore.
“Captain Stephen Cresacre, captain of his majesty’s ship Cecilia reporting, sir.”
“Never mind that. What have you? Pray it is expensive”
“I bring spices, Sir, from the land of…”
“I do not care what God-forsaken corner of the heathen world it comes from,” interrupted Fitzjohn, “is it expensive? I have one thousand horses to feed, on top of the rest of the army’s pay.”
“These spices, Sir, are exotic spices. I bring you, for example,” he brought out a jar from his jacket, filled with black granules, “pepper. Smell it, sir.” Fitzjohn snatched the jar from his hands, and brought it up to his nose. He immediately jerked his head away, and sneezed.
“My God, and what do you believe can be done with that? Smelling salts?”
“No Sir, ‘tis a spice for the seasoning of food.” Replied the Captain. Fitzjohn looked at him incredulously,
“I swear the devil himself would not something so foul-smelling on his meals What else have you?”

“I have a job for a man like you.”
“What?” the second fighter asked
“There is a lot of gold for you if you do it.” The man took out the cloth bag and dangled it in front of the fighter. He stared at it, then lunged. It was a drunken, uncoordinated lunge, and the man sidestepped to the left, leaving the fighter unbalanced. He hit the floor without even seeming to try to stay upright, out cold. The man shook his head, and moved to the next table.
“The job is still open.” Again, he dangled the bag in front of the butch-looking Spaniard with the bloodstains on his shirt
“What do I have to do?” asked the butch-looking Spaniard. Sitting down at the table, the man hushed his voice to a whisper,
“I want you to kill someone.”

“Langland Set up a meeting with the Duke. I must ask for further supplies, if we are to feed these horses.” Fitzjohn had sat up most of the night, by the fire of his office, so still a passer-by would assume he were a statue. With nothing useful on the ship, he had no other option than to go and ask for more supplies. He hated that, as he hated asking anyone for anything.
“Yes, Sir.” Langland hurried off to find a messenger.

“The Duke says that the Baron must attend in two days’ time.” The messenger told Langland, before riding off to the stables.
“The Duke asks that you attend in two days’ time, Sir.” Langland told Fitzjohn, in his office, subtly changing the words used so as not to send the Baron into a flying rage. Langland had been the Baron’s squire in battle and assistant in peace for years, and knew how to keep him calm, for the most part. A lot of the Baron’s rages were inevitable, however, and Langland had learnt, over the years, how to deal with those too. He merely stood, agreed, and didn’t offer any suggestions. Rather like a sergeant to his officers, thought Langland to himself with a smirk. Once he found the messenger, he told him,
“The Baron will attend.”

The Spaniard’s name was Diego, and he had fled his home in Navarre years ago, when he was called up to fight in the King’s armies. He had decided becoming a pincushion for enemy arrows was not for him, and ran. Once in Toulouse, he had tried to get a job as an apprentice to a metalsmith, but had had little luck and now spent the few gold pieces he got as a rat-killer drowning his sorrows in the Alehouses. But now that had changed. The mysterious man at the Alehouse two days ago had offered him more money than he had ever seen in his life, and he was sure, with the limited military training he had received before his desertion, that he could survive after he had done the deed. Now, he skulked in the bushes around the castle. Although he had not wanted to attack in daylight, he had intercepted a rider on the road away from the castle. The messenger had told him the Duke was leaving the next day, after a meeting with a minor Baron. Checking the outer walls behind him for guards, he began to move, running hunched over until he reached the wall of the keep. The guard was still gone. He took out the oriental grappling hook provided by the Alehouse man, swinging it around his head, before throwing it at the window. He began to climb.

Fitzjohn rode through the gates and up to the keep. When challenged at the doorway, he responded with an angry ‘Fitzjohn’ not breaking his stride as he walked into the keep. Having been to Bergerac Castle before, Fitzjohn knew that the Duke’s office was on the second floor. He jogged up the spiral steps, his sword clanking against his boots. On the first floor, he was again challenged, and responded,
“Fitzjohn I have an appointment”
“The Duke is busy, you shall have…” the squire told him
“I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT” Fitzjohn interrupted savagely, again not breaking his stride.

The Duke of Aquitaine, Henry de Bourneville, walked into his office. He walked slowly, which allowed Diego to creep up from his hiding place behind the door without hurrying. He got close to the Duke, drew his knife, and stabbed him in the back of the neck. The Duke retched; Diego clasped his hand around the Duke’s mouth, and twisted the blade. Henry de Bourneville died quietly. Diego slowly released his grasp, letting the Duke down slowly so as not to make a noise. At that point the door burst open.

“My Duke, I am here…” Fitzjohn strode in talking, then stopped abruptly. The first thing he noticed, due to the fact he had his head bowed, was the blood. He looked up to see a tanned man with a dagger who had been dragging the Duke’s body, but had stopped, paralyzed by shock. Diego lunged, dagger drawn. Fitzjohn crouched low and grabbed Diego around the ankles, dropping him to the ground. Fitzjohn drew his sword, pointing it at Diego’s throat.
“Who are you? Answer, you devil” Diego rolled sideways, grappling for his dagger. He stood facing Fitzjohn. This time Fitzjohn lunged with his sword. Diego parried with the dagger. Fitzjohn, still trying to break Diego’s parry, dropped his left hand down by his side. He drew his own dagger from his boot and thrust it into the assassin’s stomach.
“WHO SENT YOU?” Fitzjohn repeated,
“…Sounded…French…” Diego died as the guards came rushing in to the office from their posts at the stairwells.
“Damn your eyes God damn your eyes Why did you not hear, you fools?” Fitzjohn’s gaze flicked from guard to guard, then back to the body of the Duke. “God damn you all”

The advisor rushed into the throne room, panting,
“My Lord, my Lord Terrible news”
“What? Speak man.” King Henry II looked up from the war reports written by his generals
“The Duke of Aquitaine, my Lord. He is dead He was assassinated Baron Fitzjohn of Saint-Jean-de-Luz sends word of his death, and of the assassin’s testimony before death that the French filled his purse.”
“He had children?”
“No, my Lord. He was a bachelor.”
“Then we must appoint a successor. What was the Baron’s name?”
“Fitzjohn, my Lord. Hugh Fitzjohn, of the Barony of Saint-Jean-de-Luz.”
“The same Fitzjohn who defeated the armies of the French in Aquitaine?”
“Yes, my Lord.”
“Appoint him Duke.”

Langland stepped into the Baron’s office holding a letter.
“Sir, a letter for you. It bears the Royal seal.”
“Oh, God, not another thousand Knights’ horses to feed?” Fitzjohn sighed as he took the letter. Breaking the seal, he opened the envelope and read the letter.


Year of our Lord 1260,
Royal Estates


Hugh Fitzjohn, of the Barony of Saint-Jean-de-Luz,

His highness King Henry II received your letter informing him of the death of Henry de Bourneville, Duke of Aquitaine. As the Duke had no sons, his highness chose a successor the title of Duke. After careful consideration, and owing to your victory in battle of late, he has appointed you as successor to the Duchy. You are now to take full control of the province of Aquitaine, and shall govern it at the King’s pleasure until death or King’s decision to withdraw his title. He also grants generalship of all armies, excluding Royally commanded armies in the province, that you may defend the King’s holdings or pursue any offensive action your King sees fit.

Your ever humble servant,
W. de Monfort, King’s secretary


“Langland”
“Yes, Baron?” asked Langland, confused as to Fitzjohn’s sudden cheeriness.
“In future, Langland, you must answer ‘Yes, Duke’.”

*EDIT* trying to get 2 letters right
*EDITOID* will get letters right if it kills me
*EDIFYING EDITS* have failed http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/frown.gif

Axeknight
04-22-2004, 21:00
First off, sorry about the 2 letters. They looked OK in Word, but I couldn't get them to align properly here.

Although some bits of this second part may seem pointless, I thought it might be useful to show Fitzjohn having to deal with the other stuff that nobles had to deal with (supply problems etc), so he's not just some uber-general who spends all his time fighting. Also, I wanted him to make his first move up the food-chain in style, so I had to have the Duke assassinated. Also, I wanted to do the Alehouse scene. A lot. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-yes.gif The 'mysterious man' wasn't given a name cause I didn't want to humanise him too much - I wanted to give the idea of a shadowy, nameless figure. That said, writing 'the man' all the time made me feel 6 years old again http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-confused.gif Diego, the assassin, was humanised a bit more (well, as well as I can), I filled in his background a little to show why he'd accept such a dangerous job. The ship bit was designed as some light relief, Fitzjohn condemning pepper as something 'the devil himself [would not] put on his food'.

Ross and Style are conspicuously missing from part 2. Any Ross or Style fans (anyone? No http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/flat.gif), they'll play a bigger role in part 3 (I'm thinking maybe a crusade or offensive into French territory).

Once again, any thoughts/comments are more than welcome http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif

Axeknight
04-30-2004, 17:07
4 posts in a row? Close to spamming my own story http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

Any way to change the topic title, mods? I don't think I can, but if you guys can, could you change the title to Fitzjohn and spell criticism (as opposed to critisism) right for me?

The Wizard
05-01-2004, 21:15
Well, a nice story. Well written, but sometimes you kind of have trouble keeping up the pace. If you succeed in doing that, I think we're in for a ride. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-yes.gif



~Wiz

Axeknight
05-01-2004, 22:53
Thanks for the comments, Wiz http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif

Rereading it, I can see your point about the pace. Shall have to think about that more when I get around to writing part 3. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/idea.gif

I'm hoping to have 'The Rabid Duke' do some invading next http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-2thumbsup.gif . Lotsa pillaging for Ross and Style, then

Axeknight
05-09-2004, 20:56
Moving all comments/story parts to new thread - please comment there. The new thread will be named Fitzjohn.

As agreed, Monk, you can close this baby now http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif

Monk
05-09-2004, 21:00
Very well Axeknight.

*music hums* I Call upon Thee Gods of the Mead Hall

*Thunder cracks* Closeth This Thread and show us greatness *rains starts*

:Monk walks over to the wall and turns of Special FX:

Ok kidding aside now, this Topic shall be closed now. Please post all your comments for this story in the new thread, you'll know it when ya see it.