what not to say to a cop

[octavian]

NEVER SAY TO A COP

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary

9. Gee, Officer That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too



10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around... That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking? You probably shouldn't respond with,Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/cheers.gif octavian

[SwordsMaster]

LOL http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-confused.gif Did you try any of them?
If yes, how many tickets do you get monthly?
Are you allowed to even get into a car?

[son of spam]

Quote[/b] (octavian @ May 12 2004,17:25)] 12. When the Officer says Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking? You probably shouldn't respond with,Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/cheers.gif octavian
LOL That was hilarious http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[ElmarkOFear]

Speaking of donuts. There was a morning radio station here in Louisville, Kentucky which had a game called: Cop, No Cop A caller would be chosen to guess if there were any cops at a local Krispy Kreme donut shop. If the caller guessed correctly, they won a dozen donuts.

The odds-on favorite was to guess Cop since about 80% of the time there was one there.

As an interesting side note: A person once tried to rob this Krispy Kreme. There were no cops there during the robbery, but it only took them 10 minutes to catch him hehe

[Voigtkampf]

lol

My late grandfather had a nice scheme with cops. Back in the days, they had horse pulled carriages for transporting goods when they were going for the market, and some 40 km travel was no piece of cake. My grandfather wasn't a reach man and his horses were of the weaker sort, so he had to drive the carriage with three instead of the allowed two horses. So, the cops would stop him and would want to properly punish him, but he'd say the following:

OK, I'll pay the fee, but only if you tell me if you are the worst man from A to B(his point of leaving and his destination), because several of them have stopped me and no one has pulled a ticket on me.

The cops would always let him get away with it; he was a funny and very persuasive man.

Besides that, my first cousin is a cop too, he is some 22 years old now, and he told me about the time when he pulled over a big transport truck. He went to the driver and said:

Sir, your tires are in quite poor shape.

The driver bent out of the window and glanced below.

Well, he said calmly, you're shoes ain't the newest too.

My cousin said that he barely managed to quickly send the guy on his way (no ticket, of course) before he and his partner laughed their butts off.

[hrvojej]

Cop: Sir, this is not you.
Driver: Well, no, that's my driver's licence...

[Idaho]

I've not been c*nting drinkstable.

[Accounting Troll]

Why don't you go after some REAL criminals?

[scooter_the_shooter]

re
i saw some of them on that list before lol

[shakaka36]

from an ad in new zealand : Goodaftable Constanoon

alternatively yous houldnt say: do you smell bacon?

and you definetly shouldnt try to seduce the officer, my girlfriend can do it, but i have a feeling i wouldnt be nearly as successfull

[Sternness]

Gotta go with the classic: I'm not as think as you drunk I am

[JAG]

Quote[/b] ]9. Gee, Officer That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too


http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif

Bad thing is though, I see people saying that http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[shakaka36]

a quote from my speed-happy grandfather:

but officer im an old man, i couldnt possibly be speeding

and he gets away with it every time

[scooter_the_shooter]

lol

[BDC]

I think a good one to say would be:

I'm a law student, honest.

[barocca]

this wont work either,

sir, do you realise this is a 40 mile per hour zone?
yes officer
then can you tell me why you were doing 80 miles per hour?
i wasn't going to be out for a whole hour... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-toff.gif

B.

[_Martyr_]

There was a rumour around here when I was younger that siad that somewhere in some old law it stated that if you had to take a crap and you were out and about and you asked a Garda (thats our police force) for the use of his cap, he had to oblige... A friend of mine tried this out. Lets put it this way, he has learned to laugh about it now http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[ah_dut]

what about, cops, what cops?

[octavian]

Quote[/b] (_Martyr_ @ June 15 2004,13:37)]There was a rumour around here when I was younger that siad that somewhere in some old law it stated that if you had to take a crap and you were out and about and you asked a Garda (thats our police force) for the use of his cap, he had to oblige... A friend of mine tried this out. Lets put it this way, he has learned to laugh about it now http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif....wow.... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif

[RisingSun]

Honestly, if I was a cop and somebody tried to crap in my cap, I would beat them with my nightstick. Which is why I'm not a cop.

[ah_dut]

Quote[/b] (RisingSun @ June 16 2004,02:37)]Honestly, if I was a cop and somebody tried to crap in my cap, I would beat them with my nightstick. Which is why I'm not a cop.
good, otherwise, i would be beaten by now, (just joking http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif )