Clash of nations

[scooter_the_shooter]

Clash of nations the hopeless war for freedom


Hello this is a fictional story where I made up the names for the places and to make it fun I will have a few choices at the end the one that most people want is the one I will right about next. If these words I made up are something in another language I apologize. I didn’t know these are coming off the top of my head.



There was a place called Marriona it was a great city with a powerful military not that they needed it though. But to the east there was a power rising millions of men with swords and shields bows pole arms many weapons. No one knew until one day these evil men pillaged a border town so the Marrionian military mobilized they were met at karamoo field.




Mathew was a captain but was recently demoted to private. He took his place on the line he thought to himself “maybe if I kill these fools I will make it back to captain” Then the enemy appeared dressed in black. The front line had spears, in the front line swords, behind that archers and spears ,then axes. The rest were hiding behind a hill. Mathew and the other men didn’t know they were there though. The general ordered Mathew’s unit to charge they did he held out his sword and soon was cleaving heads of the enemy. The enemy routed it was a trick though they ran be hind the hill so Mathew’s ranks became a mob and charged. Next the enemy Calvary charged over the hill. Mathew and his fellow soldiers were getting cut down every where blood splattering every where people screaming for mercy but receiving none this was not an army they were fighting it was a horde of ruthless killers of unparalleled tactical genius and skill of arms. Mathew saw a horseman coming at him he picked up a spear on the ground and threw it at his foe’s head his aim was true his opponent was hit in the eye by the spear. Then Mathew heard the officers bellowing “retreat there is no hope run for your lives we cannot fight these men like this”. “We will got to Lambert castle its walls have never been breached run” Mathew began to run then an arrow struck him in the back. His friend Mark sprung to his defense he was one of the finest warriors in the army he pulled out his sword parried a blow by an enemy. Then decapitated him. Then two more charged Mark charged them he fought them both at once with renewed valor. Mathew watched in amazement as his friend battled the foe soon he slew over five of them then another one charge Mark pulled out a dagger and threw it in his foe’s throat. Three more circled him he would have surely died if Mathew didn’t use his last bit of strength of to push him out of the way so Mathew took the hits instead of Mark. Blood came out of Mathew’s mouth he then died on the field. Mark picked up his friends body and began to run. He couldn’t go fast enough the enemy was gaining so he threw Mathew down. He was about to die but then his Calvary came and helled them off and told him to run. He was too valuable to lose they said he was too great a warrior.











This is where you people come in here are your choices

1 Mark runs for his life like the men around him

2 he dies defending his friend’s body from the foe

3 Quit writing this piece of junk Caesar I hate it



PS i know it is totally unaccurate and unrealistic but i dont care

post your opinions all of them are welcome good or bad i dont mind in the end it will help me become a better writer go ahead cirtisize away






This is really 2 stories in one this part is from the enemy's point of view see my revolutionary way of writing


Kyle was a soldier in the army of the enemy he will only be in one chapter the enemy section is shorter than the good people one.



Kyle and the Calvary formed ranks waiting for the infantry to pretend to flee like the plan said. Then it happened the infantry fled. He charged gallantly he stabbed a man in the back with his lance but then he dropped it. He whipped out his sword and started swinging killing men all around him. Soon the men ran when they saw him out of fear. More people charged he parried their blows then cut them in half at the stomach with an ax from a dead man he found. “this war is as good as won he thought” He charged a soldier he kicked him over he dismounted then began fighting on foot. A foe charged him he took his sword parried his blow then the foe charged again he parried it the chapped off the poor guy’s hand then stabbed him in the heart. The battle raged on he saw an enemy he remounted his horse and charged but the foe threw a spear at his head then Kyle fell his enemies cheered for the man named Mathew who brought down this wild man who they thought couldn’t be human with the skill he had.



There will be some more little sections like that with the enemy’s point of view if you didn’t know already that was Mathew who threw the spear at Kyle.



The enmey point of view sucks it is just a liol bonus i thought would be cool to have tell me if it is worth having

[scooter_the_shooter]

comments anyone http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-blush.gif

[nightcrawlerblue]

Might want to wait more than an hour for comments. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Nice battle. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-2thumbsup.gif

I vote for choice #1 http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[scooter_the_shooter]

In this chapter a new character comes in to play his name will be John


Mean while those who retreated marched to Lambert castle when they arrived there the men who never saw it were amazed. The walls were300 feet high with ten different layers then the citadel was amazing the main hall’s wall’s were made of pure gold the chairs of the finest oak in the world the chair for the general had jewels in it the never saw so many riches in the life it was. John a private in the men at arms was a coward every one knew they despised him he was all alone he didn’t get to see the great hall some one shut the door in his face he was miserable people beat him up and took his food during meals. A new soldier named Nicolas who knew nothing of this saw he was starving and gave him his food. Little did the men know that their opinions of John would change that night.

A scout road in to the castle and said the men of the east are coming. Officers positioned the men on the walls and the gate. Nickolas found John hiding in the corner and said “to the gate that’s where we are supposed to be” John said in a scared voice “everyone thinks I am a coward and they are right I have no honor any more I will stay here and hide”. Nickolas said “regain your honor change their minds about you” then he dragged John by his armor to the gate. John stood in the line every one said they would not stand by a coward. Then Nickolas pushed his way through the crowd and said “ I will stand by him” then another man said “one man cannot fight for two he will run the first chance he gets and you will have to cover your ground and his” “He wont run … not this time” the men laughed. It immediately stopped when a man yelled they are coming. An army of 300,000 thousand men was marching over the horizon. The general ordered Mark to leave and get help for a city to the north called Ivendon. One of the officers said “what do we do in a frantic voice”. The general replied “hope we hold until reinforcements arrive if they arrive at all”

Now we have another new charactor named Scott. Nickolas and john are at the Gate so I needed some one at the wall or it would be no fun.



Scott was an officer he had command over part of the wall when he saw what was coming he thought “how am I gonna keep the men form routing now” The enemy stopped 50 feet from the gate and walls. Scot ordered the archers to fire and it was an awesome sight seeing 10,000 bows firing at once. But the enemy began the bombardment with catapults 1000 firing at once it was hitting the walls it went on for about an hour then they brought the gate and a section of the wall crashing down. 5000 men with pole arms charged the gate John yelled “we should run” Nick yelled “no we will send these fools back form whence they came”. Then Nick charged. A foe swung his pole arm at him Nick cut the shaft in half then stabbed the man. Then another came and jabbed at Nick he dodged it got behind the foe then cut his head off. Nick kept going slaying 5 more soon when he went at the enemy they would back away and go for some one else he saw John hiding in the corner and he yelled “fight you fool or you really are a worthless coward. The he pushed john into the fray he held out his sword and he stabbed the foe in the torso. Nock how ever was had 5 people going after him at once he had an arrow in his leg and was bout to get stabbed. But then John charged the men and started hacking them to pieces soon blood was all over him he was laughing and hacking the enemy when ever he saw them. He was going insane. Nick was startled at first but then he thought “hay I was the best just a while ago I can’t be outdone and ripped the arrow out of his leg and charged the foe.


On the wall Scott was battling some who climbed up on ladders. He saw a man kill three of his own men he had dinner with just yesterday. He ran over and threw him of the wall. Scott then threw down his sword and picked up an enemy axe and began decapitating men everywhere. He pushed ladders off the wall. Saved a wounded man form being finished off by killing hi attacker. His ax was now blunt so he picked found a sword it wasn’t hard now since the dead were every where with there weapons close by. Parried a blow by an enemy with a club but it was so strong it knocked him of the wall he soon took the 300ft plunge but right before he hit the ground he stabbed an enemy in the head in all he had 11 kills.

if somthing doesnt fit tell me i think i can have this done by tomorrow

[scooter_the_shooter]

my isnt that good night yours is like 10 times better

[nightcrawlerblue]

I've been writing stories (though I very rarely finished them) since I was like 6 or 7 years old (soon after I could read and write. Whenever that was) so I have had a lot of practice. Your story is just as good as mine anyway.

That last section was really good. Keep it up http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-2thumbsup.gif

[scooter_the_shooter]

i am back i this is actually fun i thought it would be boring



Soon they were over run they were all in the citadel those who stayed out side to hold them off while the rest retreated died John was among them this is his last stand. Him and 100 other people were lined up they were ready to fight and die. They all knee they would. John saw this as a way to redeem himself from his past of cowardice. He wanted to be worthy of remembrance. The enemy charged 10000 in all. John had many weapons this time he had to hatchets 2 small swords one large ax one large sword the sword was strapped to his back. He swung the ax like a mad man he got two men with one blow. Cut ones head off. Then he whirled around and swiftly chopped an arm off. Then he threw the ax down pulled out the sword and stabbed in the throat. He then threw down his sword pulled out the hatchets. Then a man charged him. John parried it with the left ax then chopped him in stomach with the right ax. The he began hacking and slashing all over the place bringing down many foes. Then the enemy commander had enough of this and just had the archers shoot the hundred men holding them back. The first volley came John wad hit in the stomach the heart the head the legs and back it killed all hundred of them and 300 of the enemy because they were still doing hand to hand but there were so many It didn’t matter. The citadel gates shit and they had to wait for reinforcements.




Meanwhile Mark was just now riding into the gates of Ivnedon. He dismounted in front of the gate. The guards put there spears in front of him and asked why he was there he said “Lambert castle is under siege we need aid”. They let him in immediately. He told their king that they needed help to break the siege the king told the army to assemble. It was an amazing sight 150,000 men were ready to fight by the time the day was up tomorrow they rode to break the siege.



Ok choice 1 they wait an extra day to get more men form the border villages. But might not get there in time

2 they ride tomorrow at sun up with fewer men then intended but still a lot but maybe not enough


yeah and do you want small enemy part of the story during the siege like i did for the first battle


thanks to anyone who post




http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/medievalcheers.gif

[scooter_the_shooter]

i made a big mistake fixing it right now

[scooter_the_shooter]

Mean while Nickolas was recovering in the hospital from his wound in the leg he did not know what john did and he asked to see him, the general came in and told him what happened and how John fought to the death. Then he Made Nickolas part of his personal bodyguard. The general and his hundred guards asked to negotiate with the enemy commander. The foe agreed. The foe was about 6 feet five inches tall black hair and had black chain mail with a silk black cape. (Ok I need to give these guys names or it will be VERY confusing right here lol we will call the good one Cornelius And the bad one Alexandros) Alexandros said “come to surrender” Cornelius replied “name your terms”. Alexandros said “you surrender we give you and your men a quick death”. Cornelius said “no I will name my terms you leave now give us tribute every year and we let you live”. Alxeandros laughed and said “we’ll see about that” And walked away Still laughing. Then Alexandros ordered his men to charge Nickolas had to run but he fell down and hurt his leg. So he crawled and hid behind a rock and hid. He decided he would have to sneak out of the Fortress and go to Mirriona and ask for aid to relieve the siege. He hid for 5 hours then his leg fell much better so he got up and he saw a horse. Immediately he mounted it had sword with the saddle he drew it and rode as fast as he could tward the gate. He thought to himself “I will break threw the gate die trying” He saw 10 men as guards for the gate he charged and cut ones head off. He jumped off the horse parried a blow by one man grabbed him use him to block a stab from a spear behind him. Then killed the man with the spear by stabbing him in gut. He then threw a rock at a guard on his horse and took the horse and rode off. He camped on a hill for a night. He knew they would send hunters after him so he found a spot in the bushes they wouldn’t see.


Remember those choices well the one you pick determines what happens next. any one want a tid bit form the enemies point of view again

[frogbeastegg]

Letting the readers decide on the course of the action, I don't think anyone has done that before. It will be interesting to see how you manage to work this.

[scooter_the_shooter]

Well I wanted to write but you guys and girls have not decided yet so here will be some form the enemy’s point of view again. His name will be Pavel. Pavel lived through the battle so it will be like he is telling you the story.

It was decade after all the deeds above had happened. A friend wanted to know what the war was like so Pavel told him. “General Alexandros was a master as psychological warfare he when ever we massacred some one we left one alive to tell the tale. We always wore black. Our sight was enough to send some of the foe running”. “Well you wanted to hear about the siege here it is”. We marched up about 50 feet away form the gate” “They fired their arrows at us it had little effect on our morale until the 2nd in command was struck in the head”. “He died instantly”. “Soon the gate was down we charged”. “You never really care about the foe until you thrust a dagger in their gut and see their eyes rule back into their head and they try to scream but they can’t”. “You feel like a monster but it the feeling goes away when you see more charging at you”. “you are glad you killed the one before those and you want to kill more so you do you star hacking and slashing every one not on your side”. “We were winning until some person became a mad man”. “He was laughing hacking men to pieces every where” It was unreal then he charged my section of the line”. “ he killed my best friend and soon hew was going after me but then our General ordered us to regroup” so I ran And he soon was hacking other people” “I thought to myself that could have been me getting killed by that psycho”. “when we were organized again we saw one hundred men come and meet us they were to cover the retreat” I saw the mad man among them”. They picked the narrowest spot they could find to reduce our strength in numbers”. “ We charged they met us half way The mad man was up front the killed many of us hacking stabbing and slashing until the general ordered the archers to just shoot them it killed just about all of them and a lot of us since we were still there”. An arrow struck me in the leg I was dragged to the hospital tent.

And still those two options decide what happens next...




This was only suposed to be like 12 pages when its doen but i think it end up alot more since this is only the second battle.

[nightcrawlerblue]

I vote they wait another day then attack.

It's coming along very nicely. Well done.

[scooter_the_shooter]

The Ivendonian army would gather more support from a border village they had the best Calvary in the world but small amounts of it of the 150,000 men marching only 500 were on horse back. They went to a village called Pargo when they go there it was being attacked here is the course of the battle from Mark’s point of view.



Mark was riding up front by the king. The king saw the village and yelled “on ward to victory we cannot let those peasants fight alone” so they got the Calvary to form ranks then they charged. They didn’t know who was attacking yet but they would soon find out. The foe was dressed in black and had set up a spear wall. The king was known for being quite foolish and charged the Calvary right in to it. It was a massacre the horses were dropping like flies the king was stabbed in the chest. He fell off his horse. Mark ran to his defense he parried a blow with his sword and stabbed the man in the shoulder. The foe retreated after about a half hour. The whole town was dead they could get no more people and now they had wounded men to carry they cant make in time unless the 100 remaining Calvary go alone so they did. Mark was put in command he thought to himself “I can’t break a siege with 100 men”.



Meanwhile Nickolas was getting ready to ride he was now lost in the woods with no food and his only tool a sword he took. He was very hungry and thirsty he could find no water nor food he looked for hours he heard the barbarians of the south would cut there horses and drink there blood to quench their thirst he decided he would have too. He drank his fill then he saw 100 horse men riding along they didn’t look like the foe so he mounted his horse and went out to meet them. Mark recognized Nickolas from the siege he stopped. Mark said why are yo here Nickolas told him his story and then he asked for food Mark gave it to him. Then they continued to ride they reached the castle. The foe saw them they began to make line with pikes 7 men deep. It would have been suicide to charge so they dismounted then marched about 50 feet away form them then charged they had small hand weapons like maces, hatchets, daggers and a few swords that were 25cm long. But Nicolas still had his sword so he used it when he got near the pikes he knocked one out of the way then cut both of the mans arms off at once. Mark bashed a man's head in his blood and parts of his brain got all over Mark. Marks me only had 80 left after the initial charge there only hope now was for Cornelius to see the fight and try to break out while the enemy was focusing on him.



Cornelius was in the highest tower in the keep he saw the enemy down there ordered the men to charge all of them. The Cooks stable boys every one there were only 10000 left now they all had long swords and chain mail. They fought there way out but lost many men they killed about 6000 of the enemy and all of them ran for the forest.

The battle was lost they were supposed to hold the castle but they couldn’t they barely broke out.




i dont like how this one turned out but i dont know an other way to do it but it should go well.

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/ceasaryes.gif

[scooter_the_shooter]

well i i am having writers block right now so it may be a while beofre you get a new chapter http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif

[Ludens]

Hello ceasar010. Good to see another writer in the Mead Hall I do not mean to be unfriendly, but

: gets down on his knees :

Please use punctuation and capitalization everywhere Have mercy upon those poor souls like myself, who do not have the fair English tongue as their first language

:gets on his feet again :

As for you story, I think it has great potential, and the bit about the enemies perspective is certainly original.
But you should focus a bit more on the characters. A story is not an objective account of what happened, but a subjective one. You should pay more attention to what characters feel and less on what they do. For example

Quote[/b] ]Nick charged the first enemy and cut his head off. Then he stabbed a second foe. Another man tried to hit him but Nick parried and cleaved his gut.
Should become something like

Quote[/b] ]Nick was frenzied by bloodlust as he fought the enemy. In a haze he stabbed, hacked and parried and the foes fell before him.
Or something. Remember, this is just the way I would do it http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif .

Oh, and a minor hint: you should not give away what is going to happen. For example, the ambush in the first part or John becoming a hero. It spoils the surprise effect it has on the reader.

I hope you will find this useful. Good luck with writing the new part http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif

[scooter_the_shooter]

great advice http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif i will use it idid think it sounded kind of dull the way i had it

[scooter_the_shooter]

They made camp that night little did they know the enemy lurked in the trees reinforced from their home land. Mark said we should go to Marriona then an arrow struck him in the throat. Arrows were going every where. Nickolas mounted his horse and ran. Everyone fought on they were dropping dead every where. When they fired there were so many arrows that it covered up the night sky no one lived it was a massacre. The next day Marriona fell 2 weeks later Ivendon fell too. One by one all the kingdoms fell.



Next choice Nickolas rallies the free kingdoms under one banner and fight for independence or he is captured (he lives in both of them).



reguardless of what you pick there will only be 2 chapters left

[frogbeastegg]

Rally and fight it out together.

[scooter_the_shooter]

ok i will have both chapters up tomorrow

[scooter_the_shooter]

this stroy has typos every where horrible plot sounds to lotr i will put one chapter up then this peice of junk is gone.

[scooter_the_shooter]

ok the lat bit will be very short because i have come to hate this monster i created.


NIck rode to every city and kingdom he could find none would help and they were soon conquered.
nick lived in a peasent village now. had a wife and a son but he died when the eatereners came and raided the village this is his last stand.


He saw them coming on the horizon a horde of inhuman monsters. he got his sword from the hut and cleved heads as if he was a monster in a frenzy he acidently killed his son. he then kneeled by him on the field of battle he knew this clash of nations was a hopless war for freedom and he yelled it. he was going insane. then he took his dagger and killed him self knowing soon this horde would have the whole world under their control.



the whole story is pathetic and to lotr to me.
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-inquisitive.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shogunshame.gif i will make a different stroy more real. and realistic every thing detailed as possible.