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Tozama
06-07-2004, 21:56
Since before Moses the Egyptian empire has flourished. At times subjugated, under the Persians, Alexander the Great, the Romans and others, but never totally subdued in spirit.

The year is 1087. The Fatimid Dynasty is in power in Egypt. Al-Mustansir is supposed to be the ruler (who did the research for this anyway?) but Al-Mustali-I has somehow wrestled power away and leads the Egyptian empire into this new era.
Egyptian oracles warn of a young Kurd to be born in Syria named Saladin of Damascus who will oppose the Fatimid Dynasty and destroy it from within in a rebellion. Syria must be conquered with all dispatch to prevent this unacceptable turn of events from happening. Syria is controlled by the Seljuk Turks. The Seljuk Turks have been a thorn in the side for the Fatimids for years and it time to settle some old scores.
Provincial governorships are consolidated within the Egyptian empire and the call goes out for troops loyal to the dynasty to defend the empire. An army is raised quickly (with the help of some mercenaries found seeking work at a nearby inn) and in 1090 the surprise attack is launched. Al-Mustali leads his troops into battle for the first time and makes short work of the hapless Turks who run for their lives into the adjoining province of Edessa. Victory is sweet but the resulting peace is short-lived. The Turks sling insults to the victors. This will not stand
Another call to arms echoes in the lands of the Egyptians and now a larger army is raised to silence the insolent Turkish dogs Edessa and Armenia are attacked simultaneously in a stunning blow. The Turks fight to the death and are cut down to a man. The Turkish sultan sues for peace but Al-Mustali will have none of it. He has tasted blood and victory. He lusts for more. Rum, the final outpost of the once proud Turkish kingdom, is the final target for Al-Mustali and his impetuous troops.
The battle begins well organized by both sides but quickly disintegrates into mayhem. The well disciplined Egyptian infantry advances as one huge curtain closing on the Turks while the Egyptian cavalry rides far to each side, sweeping around the Turkish defense lines. What’s this? The Sultan at the rear of his army and seemingly unprotected The Egyptian cavalry, in a foolish show of bravado ride straight at the shocked Sultan from the sides before the Egyptian infantry has engaged the Turkish lines It’s a trap The Turks turn a few spear formations rearward and the brave cavalry of the Egyptians is in trouble. Just as things look to be going horribly wrong – it happens The Egyptian infantry crashes into the Turkish lines and cuts through the center and begins a double encirclement of two halves. The Turkish sultan sees his lines fail and runs from the field.
His bewildered army, neaten, tired and now leaderless run for their lives. The castle falls a year later and the Turkish era in the region draws to a fast close.

Who are these purple dressed Christians anyway?

Peace with the Byzantines is an uneasy one. Although no ill will is shown outwardly, both sides maintain large forces on the border provinces. War will erupt. When is the only question. But for now the east enjoys peace and the newly “Egyptianized” provinces prosper under their new masters.

To the west of Egypt lies Cyrencia and many mineral rich provinces of northern Africa as well. The warlike Almohads control this region but have not encroached toward Egyptian lands as of yet.
They seem rather preoccupied with endless invasions by these Spaniards from Iberia.
Al-Mustali offers an alliance but the stubborn Almohads refuse. So be it. “Fight the Catholic infidels by yourselves” Al-Mustali is heard to say.

Egypt enters a peaceful period of growth and prosperity rivaling that of ancient Egyptian times. Trade routes are opened throughout the Mediterranean and Egyptian armies enjoy better weapons and armor upgrades as technology improves along with the empire’s wealth. Harmony seems to be taken for granted. It is called the period of the doves.

Like all things in life the period of the doves comes to a crashing end. A massive Spanish army has pushed the all too cocky Almohads out of northern Africa all the way to Cyrencia. It’s the last stand for the Almohads. Al-Mustali stands by and watches as his all too cocky neighbor is penned in and then beaten down. The Almohad king and a small tattered band of his once proud forces is hold up in the castle at Cyrencia. “Not so proud now are you” Al-Mustali is heard to say as he laughs. But then a moment of compassion hits the usually stern and unmerciful Al-Mustali. He makes a hasty and soon to be fateful decision. He gathers legions of his best troops and marches into Cyrencia just as the siege is coming to a bitter end for the Almohad king. The Spaniards are taken totally off-guard and are sent running out of Cyrencia with Egypt’s finest Ghulam Body Guards and some imported Armenian Heavy cavalry on their heels. Duty done, the Egyptian ruler makes another hasty and unusual decision. He withdraws from Cyrencia leaving it for the Almohads to regain control. An Egyptian emissary is sent immediately strongly suggesting an alliance. Now the most shocking part of our story happens. The Almohad refuse After coming to their aid, routing the infidels and exiting in the most diplomatic fashion, the arrogant Almohad king still refuses an alliance
Al-Mustali is astonished. The Spanish, as is there way, call in reinforcements and attack again a couple years later. The Almohads are utterly crushed. Their arrogant influence in the region is ended forever.
The Spanish marshal a rather large and unique army compared to anything Al-Mustali has seen before. These Jinetes are especially dangerous according to observers left in Cyrencia to view the final battle between the Spanish and the Almohads. Holding the line for Islam and the Egyptian kingdom against this foe will be no easy task. And to make matters more complicated it seems that most of the people living in the Egyptian empire expect their leader to do just that “Jihad….Jihad” is being chanted in all the mosques and even now in the streets of the cities. “They want jihad, give them jihad” Al-Mustali exclaims. Every able-bodied man in the empire is gathered and is marching into Egypt. Egypt is bulging at the seams there’s so many troops within its borders. This will be a jihad like none before it.

To be continued………………………….

Ludens
06-09-2004, 17:03
Welcome to the Org, Tozama http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wave.gif
If you like stories, you should look in the Mead Hall (story/PBM) forum. There all the writers of the Org converge. I am sure that one of the moderators will move it there if you ask them nicely. Junior patrons can post in the Mead Hall so that should pose no problems.

It is nice story and you've done the descriptive part rather well, but the problem is you've got nothing to describe. You skip over anything interesting: either characters or battles. Perhaps you should look to the write-ups of the play by e-mail campaigns in the Throne Room (story/PBM) forum. They always try to give their story a theme, usually in the form of the character of their monarch. Perhaps you should do that too. Because now it reads like a history book.
A well written history book, though http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif .

Good luck with part II

Gregoshi
06-10-2004, 05:14
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wave.gif Hello Tozama. Moving this to the Land of Excellent Storytelling also known as the Mead Hall. You may continue it there.

Axeknight
06-10-2004, 08:55
Nice story Tozama. I would echo Ludens' comments, you need to focus more on the interesting parts like the characters and battles. Al-Mustali I seems like he could become an interesting character with time. Also, the battles are well-written, but lacking in detail. Perhaps more description of the fighting, and the use of a bit character (say, a soldier or general) to tell the story from another perspective might help.

But what you have is very well written. You just need to focus on different things. May I also suggest looking around the mead hall, there are some really good stories here.

*EDIT* I forgot to mention, the mead hall is very quiet, so don't expect comments as soon as you post a part. You may have to wait a long time for a comment, but that doent mean nobody likes the story. I know I get paranoid when nobody comments on my series, but I just remember that the mead hall can go for 3 or 4 days sometimes without a post.

mambaman
06-18-2004, 23:20
yeah its a good story dude-i echo all the points from above but i would say dont worry too much if it reads like a history book-some of us are quite into that style too

afrit
06-24-2004, 06:24
HI Tozama,
Great story, but I haven't seen any update. Interested in knowing what happened to Al-Mustali and his descendants. Did he manage to recalaim North Africa for the Muslims again?

afrit

Tozama
07-01-2004, 19:17
Sorry, I've been rather busy lately.
I'll post more as soon as I have time.