ichi
06-19-2004, 19:31
Some of these are pretty funny, but some I have trouble believing are correctly attributed.
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Quote[/b] ]Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen
Quote[/b] ]Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Rodney Dangerfield
Quote[/b] ]There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
Lynn Lavner
Quote[/b] ]Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
Camille Paglia
Quote[/b] ]Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
George Burns
Quote[/b] ]Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
Sharon Stone
Quote[/b] ]Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
Tiger Woods
Quote[/b] ]My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Jack Nicholson
Quote[/b] ]Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Barbara Bush
Quote[/b] ]Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams
Quote[/b] ]Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal
Quote[/b] ]According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
Robert De Niro
Quote[/b] ]There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
Dustin Hoffman
Quote[/b] ]There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'.
Jerry Seinfeld
Quote[/b] ]See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams
Quote[/b] ] It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom.
Joan Rivers
Quote[/b] ]Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.
Steve Martin
Quote[/b] ] You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Elmo Phillips
Quote[/b] ] Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Oscar Wilde
Quote[/b] ] It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
George Burns
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ichi
_
Quote[/b] ]Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen
Quote[/b] ]Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Rodney Dangerfield
Quote[/b] ]There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
Lynn Lavner
Quote[/b] ]Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
Camille Paglia
Quote[/b] ]Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
George Burns
Quote[/b] ]Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
Sharon Stone
Quote[/b] ]Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
Tiger Woods
Quote[/b] ]My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Jack Nicholson
Quote[/b] ]Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Barbara Bush
Quote[/b] ]Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams
Quote[/b] ]Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal
Quote[/b] ]According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
Robert De Niro
Quote[/b] ]There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
Dustin Hoffman
Quote[/b] ]There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'.
Jerry Seinfeld
Quote[/b] ]See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams
Quote[/b] ] It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom.
Joan Rivers
Quote[/b] ]Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.
Steve Martin
Quote[/b] ] You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Elmo Phillips
Quote[/b] ] Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Oscar Wilde
Quote[/b] ] It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
George Burns
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ichi