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Forward Observer
03-19-2001, 13:09
1. Strange as it seems, all cavalrymen died or were killed at exactly the same monent as their horse. What are the odds?

2. The largest towns in feudal Japan all consisted of 4 huts and no Walmart.

3. The Acme castle and fort door company went bankrupt in 1530 leaving most door orders unfilled. It's founder and owner, Sol Nagimura was tragically killed when the first production door fell on him, and sadly he took the fort and castle door building technology to his grave.

4. Sol Nagimura also invented the first fork and spoon, but due to his untimely death, they were never introduced, so most of Asia was forced for the next 400 years to eat their food with sticks.

5. All Portuguese traders only wore Stetson headgear.

6. Although wheels were outlawed in feudal Japan, there was one exception. They were allowed to be used on your standard spear shooting rice vendor cart.

7. Hojo is short for the Howard Johnson clan. Their expansionistic desires stemmed from their plans to criss cross Japan with quality motels and resturants. Unfortunately, their methods killed most of their prospective clients.

8. Pension and health care benifits were greatly enhanced if your unit had warrior monks in it. They paid in and rarely collected.

9. Advanced mathmatical theorm in fuedal Japan allowed 110% taxation and 200% population loyalty. Many feel this was really started by the Democrats.

10. Although it has endured, Sun Tzu's "Art of War was never the financal success of his other two books: "The Art of Getting Rich with No Koku Down Real Estate" and "101 Fast and Easy Dishes with Rice"

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Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be vulgar brawl.

PS.
11. There was a 10th unit not modeled in Shogun. They were the Faginata or fags for short. They specialized in rear end attacks. They were eventually phased out since they were always late for battle, because they could never agree on what to wear.

[This message has been edited by Forward Observer (edited 03-21-2001).]

Heims30
03-19-2001, 18:09
Also, although there are many who profess to be samurai, none are. True samurai are skilled in the ways of horse riding, archery, swordsmanship, archery on horseback, and martial arts. (aren't they?). Many are skilled at one of these areas, but none can put the whole package together. http://www.totalwar.org/ubb/wink.gif

candidgamera
03-19-2001, 23:33
FO:
A good chuckle there.

ShaiHulud
03-20-2001, 00:27
Yah, Language difficulties presented problems when the Spanish missionaries arrived.

At first when the Japanese said, " Arigato"
, it was thought they were saying, "My cat can fly". To which the Spanish replied, "Oh,Yeah? Well, My dog humps my leg!"

Then, when the Japanese were heard to say, "Wakari Mas", the Spanish replied, "No, Masses are always in Latin, not Wakari, which I don't speak anyway".

Not everybody knows about this stuff. (hehe)

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Wind fells blossoms, rain
fells steel,yet bamboo bends and drinks

Shiro
03-20-2001, 01:43
LOL all! Some good laughs here.

Ronin
03-20-2001, 15:02
Quote Originally posted by Forward Observer:

5. All Portugese traders only wore Stetson headgear
[/QUOTE]
We still do !
HE!HE!HE!HE!
( and it´s Portuguese not Portugese)


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"yama yama tani tani"- Oda Nobunaga.
on every montain and in every valley!

[This message has been edited by Ronin (edited 03-20-2001).]

Tenchimuyo
03-20-2001, 19:03
LOL. some interesting post in here http://www.totalwar.org/ubb/smile.gif

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A great warrior never reveal his true skills....

Tachikaze
03-21-2001, 07:03
11. In order to get information about enemy troop counts and condition, a Sengoku general sent a spy disguised as a 2-meter-long floating arrow.

candidgamera
03-21-2001, 07:22
Tachikaze:
re: 11: think to scale it might have been bigger:

. . . its shadow could be seen for miles, and always seemed to be a portent of events to come . . .