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View Full Version : 100 ways to tell that you've been playing too much R:TW.



Susanne
12-29-2004, 01:47
Since I have seen a vast number of these threads in the AoM fora, I thought it would be a great idea to open up a similar thread here, regarding R:TW.

1) When leaving your house, you make sure that your population is happy, to avert insurrections.

The one who posts the 100dth "way" wins a cookie. ;)

Didz
12-29-2004, 02:30
2) Begin wearing padded body armour on your back, under your shirt at the office just in case some of your colleagues forget that they're on your side.

Alphidius
12-29-2004, 04:16
3) At your desk in office, you start to arrange items around you in a neat square formation.
Pens and pencils facing outwards, staplers and hole-punchers behind, and you in the center of it ~D

soibean
12-29-2004, 04:37
you fear eating the cafeteria food in school in case a jealous rival decided to poison your food so your desk in home room is easier to capture without you there to govern it

psychobihn
12-29-2004, 04:38
4) When a bug crawls out and your mom or girlfriend tells you to kill it, you reply with "Sigh, let's hope the next patch will take care of it."

Didz
12-29-2004, 04:44
5) Holding your attache case over your head when going up flights of stairs.

Herodotus
12-29-2004, 06:48
6) When asked what your name is, you reply, John Doeii.

IrishMike
12-29-2004, 06:56
7) When you have a unatural desire to paint your face and give a war cry before an indoor soccer match.

HarunTaiwan
12-29-2004, 09:07
Attempt to ungroup, form up, then re-group your family before pointing yourselves in the direction of the mall.

Hellboy909
12-29-2004, 09:53
8) You deploy yourself in a corner at a party because you're worried about being flanked.

FURRY_BOOTS
12-29-2004, 10:11
11) at the end of your buisness meeting "and at the last my brave fellow workers, i say this to you, STRENGHT & HONOUR TO YOU ALL!"

Didz
12-29-2004, 10:50
Upon leaving your meeting with the Senior Project Board you discover the only notes you have made are for your forthcoming invasion of Macedonia.

HicRic
12-29-2004, 11:05
13) When you see flaming arrows in use in a film, you become annoyed and expect a large drop in frame-rates.

14) When engaging in a game of paintball with your mates, you're more afraid of friendly fire than you are being hit by the opposition.

15) Whenever anything gets on your nerves, doesn't fit, looks or seems stupid, you swear "When's that patch coming out?"

16) Whenever it rains, or anything falls down or flies past you, you shout "form testudo!" at your family.

KiOwA
12-29-2004, 11:50
17) You think the world should plant less food because that leads to population overgrowth and therefore squalor & unhappiness.

Didz
12-29-2004, 11:55
18) You think that cultural differences can be overcome by destroying everything in a foriegn country and rebuilding it to look just like yours.

Didz
12-29-2004, 11:57
19) You select new project team members on the basis of the influence they will have on your management ability.

Didz
12-29-2004, 17:02
20) You beleive that high taxation can make men impotent.

Didz
12-29-2004, 17:09
21) You try to convince your wife that hiring a secretary with nice legs and a short skirt is essential because of the benefits she gives you in monitoring staff unrest during coffee breaks.

Didz
12-29-2004, 17:16
22) In heavy rain you attempt to organise fellow umbrella bearers into a testudo to protect the rest of the bus queue.

Rodafowa
12-29-2004, 18:21
18) You think that cultural differences can be overcome by destroying everything in a foriegn country and rebuilding it to look just like yours.
George Bush plays Rome: Total War?

Arrowhead
12-29-2004, 18:26
21.When you go to a football match and see your team win you yell,
The day is oooooooouuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUURRRRRRSSSSSS!

Arrowhead
12-29-2004, 18:29
21. sorry wrong number
23.You expect the queen to go around followed by preatorian guards.

Medieval Assassin
12-29-2004, 19:01
24: You own a pet monkey

Kommodus
12-29-2004, 19:30
25. While driving slowly down a crowded freeway during rush-hour, you imagine yourself riding a war elephant, smashing through and scattering the tightly-packed enemy formation of vehicles...

djsway
12-29-2004, 19:58
26. Posting on this thread.... ~:)

Vanya
12-29-2004, 20:06
GAH!

27) When asked to do something by your boss, youz reply "To hear is to obey!"

GAH!

mfberg
12-29-2004, 20:36
28) You wonder why football games don't have an autoresolve.

mfberg

Medieval Assassin
12-29-2004, 20:53
29:You've yelled/sworn really loud once after a defeat/CTD

Medieval Assassin
12-29-2004, 20:54
When you get your yearly tax return so say...
"If this was my country, that taxes would be 100%!"

SwordsMaster
12-29-2004, 21:46
30. You wonder if that chess you have at home is historically accurate.

Count Belisarius
12-29-2004, 22:16
31. Instead of dreaming about your newest sex object, you fantasize about scattering and trampling legionaries from the back of a nine-foot (at the shoulder, of course) armored war elephant.

drone
12-29-2004, 22:59
32. After your home team wins a game against a heated rival, you decide you want to use the "exterminate" option.

Spino
12-29-2004, 23:06
33. You feel compelled to yell "Stiiiinking ratss!" when letting loose with a particularly offensive fart.

drone
12-29-2004, 23:07
34. The only dance move you can accomplish is a slight shuffle to the right.

drone
12-29-2004, 23:17
35. You start training all the dogs in the neighborhood to duck under shields and go for the groin...

drone
12-29-2004, 23:29
36. You actually believe you can tell your daughter to dump her fiance, because he isn't good enough, and expect: 1. No consequences. And 2. She will actually do it.

drone
12-29-2004, 23:34
37. You seriously consider changing your religion to get more suitable bonuses and associates.

jimmyM
12-29-2004, 23:38
38. when a female relative visits you with a suitor, you exclaim "where's his stars an' scrolls then? why do you always bring back wastrels? bet he's got a "collects nazi pariphenalia" trait...honestly, how am I meant to command and mould this family? all i'll be able to do is send him round the badlands setting up watchtowers..."

drone
12-29-2004, 23:54
39. You wake up and find yourself in to the town square with nothing but a stopwatch...

Dutch_guy
12-30-2004, 00:07
40 )
when going to a friends house you catch yourself thinking to first send in a spy, to open his gate and then also send in an assasin to kill al the family members

Dutch_guy
12-30-2004, 00:12
when you disagree with your math teacher about your grade, you trie to force him in accepting a protectorate status or else you'll attack

drone
12-30-2004, 00:14
42. You end up in jail on multiple bribery charges...

jimmyM
12-30-2004, 00:15
43 you find yourself wandering round town centres, studying the pedestrians and exclaiming " but their pathfinding, even in congested urban areas, is excellent! I shall have use for these people in my war on King Porus.."

Didz
12-30-2004, 00:17
George Bush plays Rome: Total War?

Only when testing out his diplomatic and foreign policy, his military strategy is based on playing Command and Conquer Generals. He still can't work out why the Iraq's aren't thanking him for all the new shoes he's shipped over there. ~;)

master of the puppets
12-30-2004, 01:26
44.) when a car is coming twords you yell "form the phalanx"

master of the puppets
12-30-2004, 01:35
45.)in a football game start screaming at the players to flank the enemy

46.)call all your your underlings a retinue

47.)during a test complain that your mathametition had recently died

Didz
12-30-2004, 01:38
48) As for 44) except that you suddenly realise you recognise the driver and so relax as even if the car ploughs right over you, you know it can't kill you and you can just get up dust yourself off and walk away.

Alphidius
12-30-2004, 03:01
49) Whenever you watch battle scenes for "Gladiator" or any Roman related battles, you say out "Been there done that" ~:)

Somebody Else
12-30-2004, 04:41
50. You know more about Roman/Egyptian/Greek/Ancient Celtic culture than you do about current affairs.

Gregoshi
12-30-2004, 06:11
51. When you demand your (more) successful (than you) neighbors kill their faction leader, er, father.

Besieger
12-30-2004, 06:25
52) When u lay in ambush on ur colleague during tea break at e pantry!!! :hide:

HarunTaiwan
12-30-2004, 09:18
53) Decide to enslave your competition's head office, as your corporate offices on the West Coast are undermanned.

AquaLurker
12-30-2004, 10:32
54) When your family did not pick up the phone, you screamed "Failed to connect to host again!!!" :furious3: ~D

Didz
12-30-2004, 11:54
55) You only allow 20 minutes for each business meeting, and when your staff complain point out that Rome was captured in less time.

The_Doctor
12-30-2004, 12:17
56) You believe the pampas grass in the garden is forming a phalanx.

Arrowhead
12-30-2004, 12:37
57. When seeing elephants at the zoo you say ''let slip the hogs of war!'' ~:)

sapi
12-30-2004, 14:20
58) You think you could have done the battle scenes in movies better!

I've got a cure to Romeaphobia, too. Go play Half Life 2 and either a) you'll want to go back, in which case you're seriously in love with rtw, or b) you'll play that too much instead ;)

Barbarossa82
12-30-2004, 14:47
50. You know more about Roman/Egyptian/Greek/Ancient Celtic culture than you do about current affairs.

Or at least you adamantly believe that you do! ~;)

SwordsMaster
12-30-2004, 15:13
59. You hate egyptians. You fear barechested egyptians as only God know what amount of armour are they hiding.

Barbarossa82
12-30-2004, 16:03
60. You are repeatedly questioned by Trading Standards Officers after trying to sell local A-Z maps for a six-monthly tribute of £15000 for the next 20 years. You are confused when nobody takes you up on this offer.

61. You can reel off numerous military-related classical quotations from the loading screens

62. You've been playing Barbarian factions too much if you go out on a snowy day and can't understand why you're not moving faster and feeling more energetic

63. When playing Rugby, you head straight for the edge of the field with until you hit the boundary line, at which point you get confused and disappear under a pile of opposing players.

64. In a meeting at work, someone mentions retraining staff, and you immediately start grumbling about how overpowered and unrealistic it is, and how it should reduce their experience level

drone
12-30-2004, 19:52
65. You asked for a bucket of tar and some pigs for Christmas.

drone
12-30-2004, 20:41
66. You constantly complain about the Senate being full of crusty old men who should keep their noses out of other people's business. Oops, nevermind, that's probably alright...

Baiae
12-31-2004, 00:57
When one of your family gets ill you quarantine them until they die/feel better

aw89
12-31-2004, 03:09
67) Whenever you see a lumberjack (aka, forester) you run for your life!

psychobihn
12-31-2004, 05:39
68) You attach a lighter at the end of your paintball gun and coat your paintball pellets in gasoline in an attempt to do more damage and lower the morale of your paintball oppositions . . . you succeed in both objectives.

Besieger
12-31-2004, 05:46
69) U shout: "let losse the dogs of war!!!" when u see ur neighour's pet rotweiler

Arrowhead
12-31-2004, 11:19
Whatever number is next.When you are on a horse and you see another rider approaching you attept to do a one-man cantabrien circle.


67) Whenever you see a lumberjack (aka, forester) you run for your life!
YOU SURE DO! ~;)

master of the puppets
12-31-2004, 23:27
71.)attempt to built ballista ask for a longbow for christmas and eventually get yourself grounded off RTW by playing way to much

true story :embarassed:

master of the puppets
12-31-2004, 23:29
attempt to use assasin to blow up wallmart and lower population happiness

Xiahou Liao
01-01-2005, 03:56
73) After you are done playing, and you go to bed in the late hours, you can still hear the sounds of battle and music crisp and clearly.

74) When you wake up in the morning, you can still hear the music.

75) You haven't played the game in two days because of work...you can still hear the sounds of battle...and the music.

jimmyM
01-01-2005, 12:46
76) you finally succeed in headbutting the monitor into a fine paste upon defeat/troops/a.i stupidity

Silver Rusher
01-01-2005, 12:55
77) You see your neutral neighbour's dog in your garden without military access, so you send a diplomat to bribe it before you realise you don't have any.

lol

Didz
01-01-2005, 13:04
78) When you beleive that the solution to civil unrest is to exterminate the population.

Silver Rusher
01-01-2005, 13:06
79) You go out into a field in the middle of winter with only a loincloth on, holding a large blue metal shield and sword and knowing that you won't get ill and die after crouching in the forest for hours waiting for the enemy to attack.

EDIT: Changed number from 78 to 79, sorry Didz, didn't see yours there.

Didz
01-01-2005, 13:07
80) When you accept that public order can only be maintained by having a strong secret police network.

Didz
01-01-2005, 13:19
81) When you beleive that the best people for public office are obviously the most powerful, rich and ruthless members of your society and preferrably those with a lot of combat expereince.

Silver Rusher
01-01-2005, 13:36
82) You begin to hallucinate, and instead of normal people walking around the street you see men and women dressed in exactly the same way, men in red tunics and women all in identical white dresses.

83) You attempt to mod the world to stop the US being so damn powerful!

pyrocryo
01-01-2005, 15:59
84) Before every staff meeting you tried to bribe your boss's secretary to find out his budget

85) Everytime you want to make a point, your hand will grap the nearest straight object (pencil, pen, ruler, etc) and swinging it forward

86) When you find out your girlfriend is cheating on you...you parked your car in her lover doorway and began to ward of attackers from behind.

Arrowhead
01-01-2005, 21:40
When playing monopoly, you think getting mayfair means you have a large city.

Didz
01-02-2005, 02:13
88) You insist on the waiter tasting your food in restaurants, just in case.

GodsPetMonkey
01-02-2005, 02:41
24: You own a pet monkey

I resent that ~D

Lord Ovaat
01-02-2005, 02:51
George Bush plays Rome: Total War?


Only when testing out his diplomatic and foreign policy, his military strategy is based on playing Command and Conquer Generals. He still can't work out why the Iraq's aren't thanking him for all the new shoes he's shipped over there.

You may play too much RTW if you pray every night when you go to bed for the patch to include testicles for the British Faction. ~;)

master of the puppets
01-02-2005, 04:13
89) you attempt to get every one with bikes to organize a cavalry charge

90)yay i got to 90... HAIL FOR I AM YOUR MASTER!!! VICTORY IS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marshal Murat
01-02-2005, 05:10
91) At school you attempt to bribe another homeroom to open its gates and allow the army of Room 321 to conquer it.

92) When you see a bus you throw rocks at it so it can be spooked

93) When at a American Football game you yell at the coach to arrange his defensive line in a phalanx

94) When you see a lunatic walking around your neighborhood, you assume your German neighbor is training Beserkers

95)To impress your friends you conquer Gaul, a forested lot nearby.

Legerdemain
01-02-2005, 06:57
71.)attempt to built ballista ask for a longbow for christmas and eventually get yourself grounded off RTW by playing way to much

I've actually built a trebuchet. Which leads to 96...

You replicate a city siege with desktop siege weaponry and walls built from sugar cubes.

Ptah
01-02-2005, 08:51
96. You look at the riot police and think to yourself, "those damn, Romans.."


http://cbingoimage.naver.com/data3/bingo_91/imgbingo_90/pgstop/26789/pgstop_292.jpg
The modern-day Legionaries

http://cbingoimage.naver.com/data3/bingo_91/imgbingo_90/pgstop/26789/pgstop_232.jpg
"Why do I feel like the barbarian now?"

http://cbingoimage.naver.com/data3/bingo_91/imgbingo_90/pgstop/26789/pgstop_239.jpg
"Scattered formation, men!

http://cbingoimage.naver.com/data3/bingo_91/imgbingo_90/pgstop/26789/pgstop_259.jpg
"Guard position!"

http://cbingoimage.naver.com/data3/bingo_91/imgbingo_90/pgstop/26789/pgstop_272.jpg
"Bah... peasants..!"

http://cbingoimage.naver.com/data3/bingo_91/imgbingo_90/pgstop/26789/pgstop_280.jpg
"Form a testudo!"

aw89
01-02-2005, 14:04
96.
http://cbingoimage.naver.com/data3/bingo_91/imgbingo_90/pgstop/26789/pgstop_232.jpg
"Why do I feel like the barbarian now?"

97) You see that picture and you think: "they'r holding the shields wrong!"

Chimpyang
01-02-2005, 14:15
98. At night insterad of couting sheep to goto sleep you count the number of Elephants that you've built

Mackaaan
01-02-2005, 14:46
99. you just had a fuss with your neighbor and you decide to lay siege on his house blocking his trade route's(garage/front door) thinking that his settlement will last 6 turns before it falls into your hands.

Shadow
01-02-2005, 16:26
100.When you think it is completely expectable to slaughter 90% of a rioting city. Those slaves how dare they go against the rule of the mighty Rome!!! :charge:

If you really think that way then you must be either a cold-blooded guy, a psycho or a guy with poor management skills. ~D

aw89
01-02-2005, 16:34
Damn you shadow! you got my cookie! no! ~:mecry:

Sin Qua Non
01-02-2005, 16:52
It's time to plow past this terrific milestone....

#101. You recently bought a house, marched onto your front yard, thrusting your battle standard into the earth, stating, "This is Roman Land!"

#102. The previous owners of your new house were enslaved and distributed to your previous houses.

#103. Your new house happens to be near some gated communities. They quickly learn that an onager is not just an ass.

master of the puppets
01-02-2005, 19:09
104) you attempt to make your entire town combat ready by launching surprise false attacks every night

105) refuse to drink anything but mead, wine, and ales (blood of enemies on certain occasions)

master of the puppets
01-02-2005, 19:44
don't cry aw89 i will start a new thread
"100 more ways to know your playing RTW to much"
whoever gets to 200 gets TWO COOKIES AND MILK! ~:eek:

aw89
01-02-2005, 20:12
Yay! Thank you Master Of The Puppets!

Arrowhead
01-02-2005, 22:33
But, aw89 you are not going to get it... i'm not but you are not...hey don't cry..no I said don't uhoh too late
aw89: :uhoh2: ~:mecry: :oops:

Xenixx
01-02-2005, 22:56
You get extremely upset when one of your new and upcoming generals gets a vice, or a particularily demoralizing vice when you simulate small battles(60v800)too much and your general gains the 'Coward; -1 Morale -10% Happiness' vice/bug.

Happens to me so often... Its only after this that I do a quicksave and exit to a custom battle where I slaughter hundreds of peasants.

Shadow
01-03-2005, 10:14
aw89

I was thinking of sharing that cookie with you but too bad master of the puppets started another thread.

So I can have it all to myself ~D

aw89
01-03-2005, 11:51
~:(

Shadow
01-03-2005, 16:05
Sorry nothing I can do with that sad face cause I have eaten the cookie ~:eek:

Better luck on the next thread :bow:

Arrowhead
01-03-2005, 17:07
Poor old aw89 :bigcry:
We are all felling sorry for you (not :mean: )

aw89
01-03-2005, 17:14
Hey! im that old! (im 14 actually ~:cool: )

Arrowhead
01-03-2005, 18:13
Hey! im that old! (im 14 actually ~:cool: )How old did I call you. (I'm 11 so ha :tongue: ~:cool: )

master of the puppets
01-04-2005, 00:47
so young yet so violent im 14 too 8p best age ever

Arrowhead
01-04-2005, 17:28
so young yet so violent
Yes, and I'm proud of it!