When I Was Me

When I Was Me

Once I knew how it felt to sweat every day,
From vigorous labor and virile play,
But my bones have been broken,
And my flesh has become rotten.
The golden promise of a young man,
Has been torn from my crippled hands,
For as I turned my head in distraction,
Everything I was and dreamed died.

How could I have known how precious it was,
When it was all that I had ever known.
Now I can only bend my sore and crippled neck,
And dream of dreaming and running and dreaming.
Every rock and hill and tree and river was a challenge,
Goading me and inviting me to conquer it.
Every defeat was only motivation to try harder,
And every victory was an open door to another challenge.

Oh God! If only I had my health and youth again!
I would run faster, and punch harder, and jump higher!
I would read more, and write more, and study more!
I would love deeper, and forgive all, and be kinder!
I would be braver, and fight harder, and never compromise!
If only I had my health and youth again,
I would be me…only more.

I am not sure of the tone of this. It makes me think of a young man trying to write of what he thinks and old man thinks more than it does the words of an old man.

Nice poem JOG. Being more on the "old" side than the "young" side, some of this strikes a chord with me. :bow:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Seamus Fermanagh

I am not sure of the tone of this. It makes me think of a young man trying to write of what he thinks and old man thinks more than it does the words of an old man.

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It is a poem written by a man somewhere between being young and old who has been broken so many times and is so riddled with ailments that he can barely work his job, cannot type for long without hid arms being iced, cannot go hiking with the rest of his family when they visit, can barely bend down, and has a hard time even walking. It is a poem by a fairly young man who used to spend most of his days outside being active, and now spends nearly all his days popping pills, working his job, and doing therapy before and after. It is a poem by a 26 year old who has more physical ailments than 60 year olds he knows and feels like he is way too young to be feeling this old. I suppose it probably sounds really entitled, especially since many of my injuries were due to my own stupidity, but I feel really cheated some times when I see healthy people my age doing nothing constructive with their bodies, and here I used to be and still wish to be an active, hardworking person and I was cursed with a severely genetically flawed shell, which has been abused to the point where it barely functions.
The poem is my late-night emo ranting. :P I generally only write poetry when I am really depressed about something, and it is always about something that connects to me personally.

I just turned 57.....was always good at sports but never lifted nor trained like they do today. I can honestly remember times when I had the thought that I needed to work at staying in shape as I got older...yet never did. Then had a carwreck that hurt my back and for 10 years was afraid to do anything. Well I am finally starting to workout again. It feels good and im responding to it very well, tho I`m starting at zero. I think that way too many people don't understand what life has in store for them and they don't prepare or take care of themselves. I guess that's one of the biggest games that life plays or rather that our minds play with us, the woulda shouldas. I shoulda worked harder all my life and pushed for btter jobs and done better in school. Guess I didn't find a way to work thru lifes issues. So now instead of being able to 'retire' and do artwork im working as a manager in retail and about to start school for animation. That's another shoulda...shoulda seriously and vigorously pursued that.
So many have regrets. I`m sorry you are where you are brother and I wish things were different. But I can tell that youre a fighter and your struggle speaks of your character. If I am too personal or ramble too long then my humble apologies. But I just want to encourage you. We cant always decide what happens in life, but we can decide how we act to deal with it. No matter whats going on the sun still sets beautifully and the flowers still smell sweet. Find your sweet spot in life, its still there.

https://www.youtube.com/results?sear...y=nick+vujicic
if you've never seen this guy speak hes amazing, if he can overcome the massive challenges in his life then maybe I can overcome mine.
Take care of yourself brother.