Not going to be alone, not going on hiatus...

[a completely inoffensive name]

You will all be happy to know, that I will stay right here in the org posting, not moving from my chair.

-ACIN

P.S. I am think of opening an advice thread, but I just don't know if I should fully commit the majority of my life to the org, my xbox might get jealous....

[PershsNhpios]

Who are you again?

[Megas Methuselah]

Who are you again?

He used to be called Mike Hunt. As good a name as any, I believe.

@ACIN: Glad to have ya with us, bro.

[miotas]

He used to be called Mike Hunt.

Rex's son? I didn't think anyone would have head of him outside australia.

[Askthepizzaguy]

I have a question. If your previous name itches, should I put some kind of Gold Bond medicated powder on it? I've been scratching your previous name for days, and the itch just doesn't go away.

PS- the operation was expensive.

[a completely inoffensive name]

How does a name itch?

[Askthepizzaguy]

How does a name itch?

Well, if it's your previous name, then when I drop my britches and scratch it with my fingernails, and the itch doesn't go away, and I still have a rash all over your previous name, especially after all that money I spend buying myself one, then I simply have an itch all over your previous name and I can't explain how I got it. Probably from sitting in that honey spill covered in fire ants.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Hold on, if this is an ant problem, then you kill it (them) with fire.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Hold on, if this is an ant problem, then you kill it (them) with fire.

Ok let me try that.

Be right back.

[a completely inoffensive name]

I'll be here, as I described in my OP.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Ok, I have poured gasoline all over it. But I can't get this lighter to work. If I hold it right next to the gasoline, I assume the sparks will kill the fire ants safely, without causing me harm?

Without waiting for your reply, I will make my first attempt. I'll let you know how it turns out.

[a completely inoffensive name]

K, you are being proactive in finding a solution by the way, I am impressed.

[miotas]

P.S. I am think of opening an advice thread, but I just don't know if I should fully commit the majority of my life to the org, my xbox might get jealous....

no need for that, this has already turned into an advice thread

[a completely inoffensive name]

no need for that, this has already turned into an advice thread

Oooo, does that mean I can give half statements that seem like advice but actually doesn't contribute anything in regards to the person's problem?

EDIT: I have now changed my signature, because every advice person needs a small and totally uninformative biography about him/her.

[miotas]

So long as they sound helpful and inspired but actually confer no benifit whatsoever then go for it my inoffensive friend

[a completely inoffensive name]

So long as they sound helpful and inspired but actually confer no benifit whatsoever then go for it my inoffensive friend

Thanks! I think I will give it a try right now:

Do whatever you feel is right, unless what you feel is right is actually wrong.

[Megas Methuselah]

How would I go about getting a reference of myself in your sig?

[a completely inoffensive name]

How would I go about getting a reference of myself in your sig?

Try to set goals for yourself, then work towards achieving those goals, unless you have better goals to be working towards.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Ok, I have poured gasoline all over it. But I can't get this lighter to work. If I hold it right next to the gasoline, I assume the sparks will kill the fire ants safely, without causing me harm? Without waiting for your reply, I will make my first attempt. I'll let you know how it turns out.

It didn't work!!! I tried to kill the fire ants but... but... bad things happened. Ok first of all, something totally not cool happened. The spark accidentally set the gasoline on fire, and then, your previous name started belching big balls of fire! Well, more like queefing big balls. Anyway, the toilet I was sitting on, when I was pouring the gasoline, also filled with gasoline somehow. And then the toilet exploded, and the scalding hot water and gasoline went someplace very bad, and I hopped toward the phone and I dialed 411 and asked for the number to 911, and they tried to charge me for the connection and I said hells no I am not going to pay for that so I hung up the phone and got into my car, still on fire and your previous name was fused completely shut, and it was very painful but somehow I managed to drive halfway to the hospital but I had to stop to get some gas, while I was still on fire and now my shirt was on fire and I didn't know what to do so I paid at the pump and tried to douse the flame with the hose thingy, and YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT It was gasoline and I set my whole self on fire and then the hose exploded, as well as the gas tanks and half a city block, and it blew me up into the air and I landed on my house and crashed through the ceiling and now I'm sitting at my desk again and I don't know what to do to put out these flames please please please please help me.

[a completely inoffensive name]

When life hands you lemons, make some sort of lemon based drink.

[miotas]

It didn't work!!! I tried to kill the fire ants but... but... bad things happened. Ok first of all, something totally not cool happened. The spark accidentally set the gasoline on fire, and then, your previous name started belching big balls of fire! Well, more like queefing big balls. Anyway, the toilet I was sitting on, when I was pouring the gasoline, also filled with gasoline somehow. And then the toilet exploded, and the scalding hot water and gasoline went someplace very bad, and I hopped toward the phone and I dialed 411 and asked for the number to 911, and they tried to charge me for the connection and I said hells no I am not going to pay for that so I hung up the phone and got into my car, still on fire and your previous name was fused completely shut, and it was very painful but somehow I managed to drive halfway to the hospital but I had to stop to get some gas, while I was still on fire and now my shirt was on fire and I didn't know what to do so I paid at the pump and tried to douse the flame with the hose thingy, and YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT It was gasoline and I set my whole self on fire and then the hose exploded, as well as the gas tanks and half a city block, and it blew me up into the air and I landed on my house and crashed through the ceiling and now I'm sitting at my desk again and I don't know what to do to put out these flames please please please please help me.

Alcohol. The higher proof the better, perfect for putting out any pesky flames you might have lying around.

[Askthepizzaguy]

When life hands you lemons, make some sort of lemon based drink.

Kay I tried to pour lemonade on it and GUESS what it stings like heck and it's not putting out the flames and now it burns and it stings and it itches so I have three owwies.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Patience is a virtue, unless it is a situation that needs to be taken care of fast.

[miotas]

No No No,

ACIN, you're advice is too helpful. You're terrible at this.

[a completely inoffensive name]

No No No,

ACIN, you're advice is too helpful. You're terrible at this.

Gosh darn it, I really thought I had the hang of it.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Patience is a virtue, unless it is a situation that needs to be taken care of fast.

Okay I'll wait if you think that's best but seriously it's starting to become a drag man, I'm losing a lot of skin tissue permanently here and I'm pretty sure my intestines are burnt closed and my liver is damaged, and not just from all the alcohol I've been drinking and dousing myself with to combat the flames, I'm an alcoholic.

Wow. I feel better admitting that. I'm all better now kthnxbai

I recommend you to all my friends. Your advice is teh uber curez. I now can admit that I am an alcoholic, and that is the first step towards overcoming my addiction.

Now if I could just put out this fire, I'd be all set. But you have to pick your battles.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Okay I'll wait if you think that's best but seriously it's starting to become a drag man, I'm losing a lot of skin tissue permanently here and I'm pretty sure my intestines are burnt closed and my liver is damaged, and not just from all the alcohol I've been drinking and dousing myself with to combat the flames, I'm an alcoholic.

Wow. I feel better admitting that. I'm all better now kthnxbai

I recommend you to all my friends. Your advice is teh uber curez. I now can admit that I am an alcoholic, and that is the first step towards overcoming my addiction.

Now if I could just put out this fire, I'd be all set. But you have to pick your battles.

As god once said to bender in the Futurama episode 'Godfellas'

"When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all."

[miotas]

Okay I'll wait if you think that's best but seriously it's starting to become a drag man, I'm losing a lot of skin tissue permanently here and I'm pretty sure my intestines are burnt closed and my liver is damaged, and not just from all the alcohol I've been drinking and dousing myself with to combat the flames, I'm an alcoholic.

Wow. I feel better admitting that. I'm all better now kthnxbai

I recommend you to all my friends. Your advice is teh uber curez. I now can admit that I am an alcoholic, and that is the first step towards overcoming my addiction.

Now if I could just put out this fire, I'd be all set. But you have to pick your battles.

Don't worry about those flames mate, they are you're friends, embrace the love, don't they just feel so warm

[Askthepizzaguy]

Don't worry about those flames mate, they are you're friends, embrace the love, don't they just feel so warm

I am starting to feel light-headed, and it's not as painful anymore, and my body has gone numb from the love. Does this mean it is almost over?

[a completely inoffensive name]

I am starting to feel light-headed, and it's not as painful anymore, and my body has gone numb from the love. Does this mean it is almost over?

What the H E double hockey sticks? I thought this was still my advice thread.