Sasaki Kojiro was taking a stroll through the Gameroom, minding his own business, confidently putting one foot in front of the other. He was quickly becoming a power figure in this entire situation. For the most part, people had been listening to him more than even the Chief of Police, and the two people he had gone after hardest were now six feet under. He figured if he could just keep up his intuition then his enemies would fall.
He wasn’t worried about dying, either. Sasaki, see, had everything planned out. He was a high-profile figure in every day’s voting, making sure never to look *too* noble while crusading loudly. No, Sasaki would always have that air of shiftiness about him, ensuring that both he would never die at night while at the same never looking too shifty to be lynched in any of the voting phases. Yes, Sasaki was sitting pretty, confident in both his day and night positions.
This would prove to be a fatal assumption.
Sasaki continued walking through the Gameroom, his thoughts slowly shifting from random snippets of life to the town’s current state and its strategy for the next couple of days. He barely noticed the nude unicyclist, juggling as always, pedaling by and then actually stopping, staring at him. Since this was the first time that Sasaki could recall the unicyclist doing anything other than pedaling and juggling, he turned to make conversation.
“Hello,” Sasaki said, for the first time slightly unsure of what to say or do next, “Uh, nice day, isn’t it? So how are you holding up through all this?”
The nude unicyclist seemed to ignore this, instead staring straight at Sasaki. “You,” he said, “You are the leader of the town.”
Slightly perturbed, Sasaki continued to stumble over his words. “Well, uh, not technically… I mean shlin is our Chief of Police and all… I suppose you could say the town’s been following me for the most part, but I don’t see how that really constitutes being ‘leader’…”
“You are the leader of the town,” the nude unicyclist repeated.
“Uh… well… okay fine, I’m the leader of the town,” Sasaki replied.
The nude unicyclist’s eyes widened. “YOU LEAD US ALL INTO THE GRAVE!” he boomed in an unearthly monotone. His facial expression turned back to normal, as did his voice. “Engage primary arsenal!” he commanded, to an unknown entity.
Instantly, there was a whirring sound. After a second, Sasaki saw two submachine guns spring out of the unicycle’s handlebars. After another second, he heard the unmistakable sound of ammunition, probably automatically, being loaded into both guns.
Crying in surprise, Sasaki dove to the ground. Luckily, his reflexes, honed from years of playing Shogun: Total War multiplayer, did not abandon him at the critical moment and he was fast enough to dodge the initial salvo of bullets directed his way.
“YOU SHALL NOT ESCAPE JUSTICE SO EASILY!” the unicyclist boomed, and adjusted his handlebars to Sasaki’s new position. This time, he pulled the trigger and held it down. Sasaki crawled around in a circle, just managing to stay an inch ahead of the unending spray of bullets that would end his life. It went like that for a while, with Sasaki occasionally changing his motion path to throw off the unicyclist. All the while, he was gradually increasing his distance away from the stationary unicycle, searching for an escape.
“I need to buy some time,” he said to himself, and looking around, grabbed three small rocks. Gripping them in his good hand, he winged them right at his attacker as hard as he could.
“Target practice,” the unicyclist chuckled to himself, and calmly took his aim off Sasaki to fire at the rocks and made them explode into dust. But after that was done, he refocused on Sasaki and cursed. His prey was already on his feet and about to enter a car which (extremely conveniently) had its keys in the ignition.
The unicyclist shot out the driver’s side window, and the passenger’s side too as there was nothing to block the bullets’ path, but Sasaki stayed down and managed to start the car without taking any damage. A second later the unicyclist saw the car’s steering wheel club flying out the window, coming right at him, and had to readjust his aim to shoot that out of the air as well. In the time he had lost, Sasaki had adjusted himself into a drivable position and was already jamming on the gas, speeding away from the unicyclist.
“Phew, that was a close call!” he said to himself, driving away. “He’ll never be able to pedal as fast as this bad boy.”
“Engage thusters,” the unicyclist said. “Mark One.”
Thirty seconds later, Sasaki gasped as he saw a unicycle coming up fast in his rearview mirror. A couple of seconds after that, the unicycle was close enough where Sasaki could see its driver, gritting his teeth, pulling the triggers on both handlebars.
Sasaki ducked, again just in time. A storm of glass descended on the car’s interior, this time from the front and rear windshields being shot out, and a second later the rearview mirror itself. Sasaki lied face down on the chair, head tilted up, legs leaning against the chair’s back but careful not to have any part exposed. Both of his hands had a death grip on the steering wheel, although for a second one of them left it in order to jam the “cruise control” button. He could still see where he was going, but barely. Bullets whizzed by all around him. He heard a loud “ding” as one of them connected with his chair back’s support beam.
“Stalemate,” Sasaki exhaled as he tried to see where he was going.
The unicyclist took out his juggling balls and pressed a secret button on one of them, a second later chucking it at the car ahead.
There was a loud explosion, and Sasaki felt his car being lifted into the air from the blast. Luckily, it managed to stay upright and a second later it came crashing to the ground. Sasaki, not wearing a seat belt, hit his back on the car’s ceiling and then fell back to the chair, only his death grip on the steering wheel keeping him from totally losing control.
“If I die, my last wish is to know who the *#%! makes this crazy unicycle!” he yelled to the air, in frustration.
The unicyclist threw his next juggling ball/bomb on an angle, and it worked. This time, the car was lifted in the air and did several sideways flips before finally crashing, upside-down, on the side of the road. Sasaki slowly crawled out, moaning. He was sure he had broken a couple of bones and he was bleeding from several wounds.
He quickly changed from moaning to screaming as he felt a hand grip his wrist. Barely aware of what was happening, he felt himself being dragged along the road as the unicyclist rocketed on. He heard the unicyclist say “Engage thrusters, Mark Two.” Suddenly the terrible feeling of being dragged along at a high speed was gone, replaced by one of being rocketed in the air. Somehow the unicyclist’s rockets were so powerful that they had all left the ground!
Sasaki looked down, gulping. Despite his injured state he was still able to clearly conceptualize the road, the other cars, the trees getting smaller and smaller as the unicycle got higher in the air. Over the sound of the air resistance, he was able to hear the unicyclist speak.
“You lead us all to the grave!” the unicyclist shouted again, staring straight ahead into the sky, his hand maintaining an iron grip on Sasaki’s wrist despite everything. “But no longer! I take matters in my own hands to lead us back into the light!”
“Don’t know… what… you’re talking about…” Sasaki wheezed. “Please… let me down…”
The unicyclist paid no attention to Sasaki’s pleas. “WITH THIS, I TAKE US FROM THE DARKNESS OF ETERNAL OBLIVION INTO THE GLORIOUS LIGHT!!!” Finally, he let go.
Sasaki fell, screaming all the way down until his body finally exploded on impact with the ground. Meanwhile, the unicyclist made a smooth landing, put some clothes on, and put his unicycle away.
Re: Capo di Tutti Capi III
It is the first round, you are meant to be voting me now.
Originally Posted by TinCow
The rest =
Reveal please.
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