World's Worst Lovers? The Winners Are...

[Louis VI the Fat]

German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place
29 Sep 2009


A poll of 15,000 women found that Germans are considered "too smelly".
English lovers came second because they are so lazy, while men from Sweden were branded "too quick to finish" and came third.

Spanish men topped the table as the best lovers, followed by Brazilians and Italians.
The poll, carried out by global research site www.OnePoll.com, asked women from 20 countries to rate nations on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers.

Germans were deemed to have bad body odour, Englishmen were accused of letting women do all the work, whilst Swedes were a bit too quick to finish.
Men from Holland were "too rough" between the bed covers and Americans were accused of being "too dominating" in the bedroom.
Greek men were said to be a bit too soppy.
Other countries who didn't fare well in the poll were Scotland (too loud), Turkey (too sweaty) and Wales (too selfish).

Russian men crept in at tenth place amid accusations they are too hairy for the average woman.
A spokesperson for www.OnePoll.com added: ''These results are an eye-opener for thousands of men around the world and female travellers might judge potential new lovers by looking at these results.''

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:
1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)


WORLD'S BEST LOVERS
1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10. Canada

There are no Spaniards, Brazilians and greasy Italians here.

Which leaves me with bragging rights.

[Vladimir]

Your article should read: ..."men from Sweden were branded "too quick to finish" and came first."

I'm really curious about the women polled. They seem to "travel" often.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Well Louis, we are, so to speak, on your tail.

Coming up behind you, as it were.

[Vladimir]

But how did those apartheid buggers get behind you?

[Banquo's Ghost]

But how did those apartheid buggers get behind you?

Same way the Aussies and Kiwis went Down Under.

[Vladimir]

OK, who has Denmark?

[rvg]

But how did those apartheid buggers get behind you?

I find it ironic that South Africa makes it on the list, considering the per capita rape statistics.

[Vladimir]

Practice, maybe?

[rvg]

"No" means "yes", I guess.

[TinCow]

This poll is clearly flawed, because Japan isn't in the 10 worst and Greece is. This study shows that the Japanese have less sex than any other nation and the Greeks have more sex than any other nation. That's all the proof you should need about how good they are. People don't tend to turn down good sex. If you look at that study, the Greeks not only have a LOT of sex, they also have a very low birth rate. That equates to a LOT of sex purely for pleasure. Clearly the Greeks aren't that bad at it.

[Vladimir]

This poll is clearly flawed, because Japan isn't in the 10 worst and Greece is. This study shows that the Japanese have less sex than any other nation and the Greeks have more sex than any other nation. That's all the proof you should need about how good they are. People don't tend to turn down good sex. If you look at that study, the Greeks not only have a LOT of sex, they also have a very low birth rate. That equates to a LOT of sex purely for pleasure. Clearly the Greeks aren't that bad at it.

Yes, but we all know about Greeks and sex. Don't we?

[Banquo's Ghost]

Yes, but we all know about Greeks and sex. Don't we?

Well, I know all about Greeks bearing gifts, but am sadly ignorant of the consequences of Greeks baring anything else.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Yes, but we all know about Greeks and sex. Don't we?

Hence the seeming paradox of the Greek 'lots of sex' + 'extremely low birthrate'.



Also, I don't understand why Germany got such a poor score.

Surely, there's an inherent sexyness about Germans? In everything they do? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHhAFzKTwuE

[Vladimir]

There's a line I partially remember from Top Gear. I don't remember what car they were referring to but it ended with "...what the Germans are to sex." It wasn't a very good ride.

Not that Clarkson knows about such things, surely.

[naut]

There are no Spaniards, Brazilians and greasy Italians here.

Which leaves me with bragging rights.

Hehe. I'm 1/8th Spanish.

Oh yeah. SwordsMaster is Spanish, I'm afraid you've been pipped at the post, so to speak.

[Strike For The South]

There are no Spaniards, Brazilians and greasy Italians here.

Which leaves me with bragging rights.

I guess it's assumed Texas=#1?

Was there ever any doubts that Germany would be the worst? No sense of humor, very clean and once every 50 years that get pissed and invade France (there form of a stress ball?)

[Gregoshi]

Oh yeah. SwordsMaster is Spanish...

I always assumed his name had something to do with STW. Oops. My bad.

[Beskar]

I remember at University when a greek girl was so noisy, you could hear her screaming and moaning from down the corridor. She was quite hairy too.

[Vladimir]

Why do you think it was a woman?

[Samurai Waki]

Of course what they didn't tell you, is that the majority of Women being polled were Spanish.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Of course what they didn't tell you, is that the majority of Women being polled were Spanish.

But..but Spanish women would know better...


Me I blame it on all those American housewifes with dreams of Antonio Banderas.

[Sarmatian]

Since there are no Serbs on Top 10 Lovers list, the poll is obviously biased and/or incorrect. Move on, nothing to see here...

[Louis VI the Fat]

What's a 'serbs'?

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Was there ever any doubts that Germany would be the worst? No sense of humor, very clean and once every 50 years that get pissed and invade France (there form of a stress ball?)

Well, it's like they say - the First World War was started when a German told a Frenchwoman he wanted to "invade her Alsace" and it was taken way out of context.

[Hax]

8. New Zealand

Heh, more sheep than people over there. If all these women were from Dixieland, I'd understand.

[LittleGrizzly]

I feel some of you are looking at this list the wrong way...

Im glad to see England and Wales heading the list, the result is I must be a sexual God surronded by selfish lazy men unable to please thier women!

[HoreTore]

If I traveled more, Norway would've been #1.

[Whacker]

There's a line I partially remember from Top Gear. I don't remember what car they were referring to but it ended with "...what the Germans are to sex." It wasn't a very good ride.

Not that Clarkson knows about such things, surely.

When I found out Jeremy hated Porsches, every single one of his opinions I've ever heard or read went right out the window.

Hence the seeming paradox of the Greek 'lots of sex' + 'extremely low birthrate'.

I remember at University when a greek girl was so noisy, you could hear her screaming and moaning from down the corridor. She was quite hairy too.

Redheads dude, redheads. I dated one in college too (not hairy at all), she was well known on her dorm floor for her vocals, and my pride swelled immensely from the reputation I garnered from causing said vocals. (lol i had sex post lol)

[naut]

Wait. New Zealand?

When I found out Jeremy hated Porsches, every single one of his opinions I've ever heard or read went right out the window.

Off topic. But I agree with Clarkson. If you have a Porsche it makes you look like a ponce who wants a sports car, but can't afford anything better.

[Papewaio]

Remember stats and polling. I think this is a case of getting the data the wrong way around and thinking that fireman start fires as they are found there.

Which nation's have the woman who whine the most would be more accurate data to extract.

=][=

Back to the couch for me.