So, you think you can be the best pokemon trainer of all time?
Yeah, right. You picked the fire pokemon? What a lame-o. I'll just pick the
water pokemon. And I won't even beat you with water attacks. I'll teach it Earthquake and beat you even faster, just for the lulz.
So, you finally caught your first pokemon? Good for you! Except I already have five more, and they're all exactly the right type to turn your little weedle into bug splat. And I will, because they're all ten levels higher than yours. Better start
grinding, lame-o!
Ready for that first badge? Well don't worry, I softened up the gym leader for ya. And I got the badge
way before you, slo-mo!
Need to get your wounded, poisoned pokemon into a center for healing? Too bad! I challenge you and your last remaining pokemon to a
duel. Better start using up all your potions!
Got a crush on that Misty girl? Too bad! She likes to ride on my
motorbike. She wouldn't be caught dead with you and your little "bicycle", lame-o.
Think your new pokemon is pretty tough? I challenge you to a duel, and I'mma just use my level 3 Abra and I'll
still beat you.
I could beat you with my magikarp, because you're that much of a noob! I could beat your team of legendary birds just by spamming
Splash!
I've defeated Mewtwo with a Chansey using
bide! I've beaten Mewtwo using
ACTUAL BUG pokemon! My Parasect will own you with
Spore!
I don't even use pokemon besides Generation I, using only generation I techniques! Come and get me with your Rayquaza, I'll still own it with my
Wartortle that knows Ice Beam.
That's right,
Wartortle. I could evolve it, but I'd rather
troll you with less evolved forms.
I've got every badge, and I've already completed my Generation I pokedex. I've beaten every boss and bagged every babe. I am the greatest pokemon trainer of all time. You ready for the Elite Four? I've already pwnt them with a Caterpie. You think you're ready for me? You're not even ready for training pants.
You mad, bro? Even if you were to beat me every single time, everyone already knows I'm a billion times better than you are. Maybe I'm just letting you think you're better than me, so that when you finally face me after your several-months-long Nuzlocke Challenge, for the title of Pokemon Champion, I will paste you with the same Pokemon that you've always been able to defeat, just to burn you even harder. When you black out for the first time, it won't be the last. Too bad you'll have to start your entire run over again!
I am Gary Oak. Remember that name. That is the name of your GOD.
Smell you later!
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