"The dog ate my h--er... trousers?"

[The Wizard]

News from Yorskhire
Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:

"A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."

He repeated the rape allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.

His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness.


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Oh my God, that has got to be the most stupid thing in years

[GoreBag]

Awesome. That is the best story I've read all week.

[TheSilverKnight]

Oh...oh my *pulls self up from laughing* That was great. cheers for that I think I'll go with whatever the dog has to say tho

[Papewaio]

And people wonder how some diseases get past the species barrier.

[Reverend Joe]

Why did he get jail time? Shouldn't the dog be punished? It was sodomising the poor bugger!

[LeftEyeNine]

And people wonder how some diseases get past the species barrier.

Yeah, we may be quite sure that dog will get schizophrenia epidemic. How pity..

P.S. Avoid any dogs in the surrounding area, or at least avoid bending over or kneeling down to sooth him.

[Fragony]

Well let me tell you a story. We were playing football, and a friend of mine was at the goal. When he ducked for a ball a big dog jumped on him, and he couldn't get up. 5 seconds later the dog unloads on his back and walks of. I actually wet my pants that day, and 15 years later I still cannot bring the subject up safely.

[Drisos]

dogs always used to pee on my brothers sweather which was used as 'paal'... I don't know how to say that perhaps Fragony?

[edyzmedieval]

Hilarious!!!!

A man making with a dog?! Come on!!!!

[Ianofsmeg16]

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway.

Quote of the month ladies and gentlemen!

[Radier]

Well let me tell you a story. We were playing football, and a friend of mine was at the goal. When he ducked for a ball a big dog jumped on him, and he couldn't get up. 5 seconds later the dog unloads on his back and walks of. I actually wet my pants that day, and 15 years later I still cannot bring the subject up safely.

Haha! Poor guy...

[Dutch_guy]

all at the same time, that counts for both stories

[yesdachi]

I wonder if the guy will be able to receive conjugal visits?