News of the Weird

[InsaneApache]

At last good weird news.

DR. Frankenschtein was onto summat....

The severely brain-injured patient, who is now 38, was unable to communicate, swallow or make co-ordinated movements for six years, before doctors revived him from this mini-mally conscious state (MCS) with a revolutionary therapy.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/lif...cle2182621.ece

Now where did I leave Egor.......

[Gregoshi]

Now where did I leave Egor.......

You mean Igor. Or do you mean Al Gore?

That is great news BTW.

[InsaneApache]

You mean Igor.

I have a hunch it's Egor.

[Gregoshi]

I have a hunch it's Egor.

What hunch?

[edyzmedieval]

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle2176967.ece

Nice one Centurian. Bloody Romans.

I keep my opinion that you Brits are a bunch of weird people. What has that small patch of water between Europe and you guys done...

[Fragony]

Busted! Lol, american has been arrested for having sex with traffic signs.

Traffic signs??

[Banquo's Ghost]

Busted! Lol, american has been arrested for having sex with traffic signs.

Traffic signs??

It wasn't a No Entry sign then?

I know I'm going to regret this, but you did not provide a link as evidence for this frankly outrageous slur.

(Thanks the patron saint of moderators...)

[Papewaio]

One way!
Slow down, heavy petting ahead!
Keep to the right, now a little to the left.

[Fragony]

It wasn't a No Entry sign then?

I know I'm going to regret this, but you did not provide a link as evidence for this frankly outrageous slur.

(Thanks the patron saint of moderators...)

hehe no entry

Babelfish away;

http://www.nieuwnieuws.nl/archives/2..._verkeers.html

[Banquo's Ghost]

It's always the same isn't it?

All the signs indicate you're on a Freeway, but then you get Stop followed by No Through Road. Then you have to go Slow until they Give Way.

[Fragony]

Standing on the corner is kinda suspect of course.

LOL Negroes for sale @Marktplaats.nl (auction site)



Do we ever learn?

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Standing on the corner is kinda suspect of course.

LOL Negroes for sale @Marktplaats.nl (auction site)



Do we ever learn?

Well, at least there's a precedent.

Rent A German

[ShadesPanther]

mmmm banana laxative


I'm sure he was peeled off eating all that.

[Caius]

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle2176967.ece

Nice one Centurian. Bloody Romans.

Interesting, Romans are coming back...

And I will be able to be called Caius without a problem.

[lars573]

On-air bottom pincher gets police warning

LOLERSKATES!

[KukriKhan]

On-air bottom pincher gets police warning

LOLERSKATES!

The EweToob vid of the offense.

[Lemur]

Don't Make Me Puke You!

Link to the Homeland Security bulletin.

Flashlight Weapon Makes Targets Throw Up

Monday, August 06, 2007

It looks like a big flashlight — but it's really a nonlethal weapon designed to make you sick.

Intelligent Optical Systems, Inc., of Torrance, Calif., has been granted a contract by the Department of Homeland Security to develop what it calls the "LED Incapacitator," according to a DHS online newsletter.

The handheld device using light-emitting diodes to emit super-bright pulses of light at rapidly changing wavelengths, causing disorientation, nausea and even vomiting in whomever it's pointed at.

"There's one wavelength that gets everybody," says IOS President Bob Lieberman. "Vlad [IOS top scientist Vladimir Rubtsov] calls it 'the evil color.'"

Phase 1 of the contract — creating a working prototype — has already been completed, and Phase 2 will begin this fall as researchers at Penn State's Institute of Nonlethal Defense Technology put the puke-saber through its paces.

"Phase 3 will be our shrink phase," Lieberman said, admitting that the prototype, 15 inches long with a 4-inch lens, is too large and heavy to be comfortably carried on a belt.

DHS hopes to equip police, Border Patrol agents and National Guardsmen with the barf-beamers by 2010.

[Crazed Rabbit]

I wonder if they'll call closing your eyes resisting arrest.

CR

[Lemur]

Fat Australians endanger mortuary workers.

Pathologists are calling for new "heavy-duty" autopsy facilities to cope with obese corpses that are difficult to move and dangerously heavy for standard-size trolleys and lifting hoists.

The bodies presented "major logistical problems" and "significant occupational health and safety issues," according to a separate study, which found the number of obese and morbidly obese bodies had doubled in the past 20 years.

Specially designed mortuaries would soon be required if the nation failed to curb its fat epidemic, providing "larger storage and dissection rooms, and more robust equipment," said Professor Roger Byard, a pathologist at the University of Adelaide.

"Failure to provide these might compromise the post-mortem evaluation of markedly obese individuals, in addition to potentially jeopardizing the health of mortuary staff."

In the past year, there have also been requests for larger crematorium furnaces, bigger grave plots as well as super-sized ambulances, wheelchairs and hospital beds.

[seireikhaan]

You can thank the American Embassy, McDonalds, for that.

[Lemur]

Sorry, good weird news is showing up faster than I can post it.

Florida state representative explains offering oral sex to man in park: "I was just playing along."

"This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park," Allen, who is white, told police in a taped statement after his arrest. Allen said he feared he "was about to be a statistic" and would have said anything just to get away.

So he just happens to be in a park late at night, and out of uncontrolled fear of black men, the first thing he can think of is to offer a blowjob. Reeeeeealy.

Why oh why can't our state legislators come on out and admit that they crave hot black studs? Is that so hard?

-edit-

Update: His homepage lists his recreational interest as "watersports." No, I'm not making this up.

[Gregoshi]

So he just happens to be in a park late at night, and out of uncontrolled fear of black men, the first thing he can think of is to offer a blowjob. Reeeeeealy.

I'm sure he was thinking of JFK - "ask not what the country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." Nothin' wrong with that.

[CountArach]

Australian political party is promoting a campaign of civil disobedience against daylight saving.

Some National Party members in Western Australia are promoting a campaign of civil disobedience against daylight saving.

Western Australia is only one year into a three year trial of daylight saving, but the Albany branch of the National Party will move a motion this weekend calling on members to ignore the trial for the rest of its duration.

Their motion will be debated at the Nationals' State Conference in Geraldton.

It calls on National Party members to actively promote ignoring daylight saving and keep clocks the same, outside Perth.

Nationals' State President Wendy Duncan says the motion, which would effectively create two different time zones in Western Australia, reflects people's strong opposition to daylight saving.

"I think it indicates that people are pretty disappointed," she said.

"I suppose that their representations, the 66-thousand signatures on petitions have just fallen on deaf ears in the Government and I guess it's a hint of civil disobedience over the whole issue."

"I would imagine there'd be some interesting implementation issues but this is a resolution that's come from our grass roots and deserves debating."

and for the icing on the cake:

There will also be a motion calling on the State Government to reopen the six regional police stations which were recently closed.

[lars573]

Rhinoceros party suing feds for $50 million over election rules

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

MONTREAL (CP) - The Rhinoceros party is trying to fight its way back from political extinction with a $50-million lawsuit against the federal government.

Self-appointed party president Brian "Godzilla" Salmi filed suit in Federal Court in Montreal Tuesday over the 14-year-old election reform laws that stripped the Rhinos of registered party status.

Salmi says he will run under the Rhino banner in a federal byelection in Montreal's Outremont riding, slated for Sept. 17.

The party lost status after federal electoral reforms came into effect in 1993 requiring parties to run candidates in at least 50 ridings at a cost of $1,000 each.

Salmi promises to rename the country Nantucket, if elected.

He has legally changed his name to Satan and, officially, the lawsuit is filed under Satan versus Her Majesty The Queen.

Best line in the article.

Salmi promises to rename the country Nantucket, if elected.

He has legally changed his name to Satan and, officially, the lawsuit is filed under Satan versus Her Majesty The Queen.

[InsaneApache]

LOL

[Lemur]

Satan versus Her Majesty? Now that's a pay-per-view event I would watch.

In sad Weird News, not news of the sad exactly, but definitely a blow for Weird News fans everywhere, the Weekly World News has closed shop. Never again will I see headlines about how Elvis is a live and living in Jenna Bush's body. Never again will batboy greet me as I struggle with a cartload of diapers. In memoriam, Weekly World News. We will miss you.

[Gregoshi]

In sad Weird News, not news of the sad exactly, but definitely a blow for Weird News fans everywhere, the Weekly World News has closed shop.

'Tis sad news. That publication has given me a few memorable laughs in the checkout line.

[InsaneApache]

"Saddam & Osama Adopt Shaved Ape Baby", has to be the tabloid headline of the year winner.

[Papewaio]

[QUOTE=CountArach]Australian political party is promoting a campaign of civil disobedience against daylight saving.

The National party in WA are idiots, pure and simple. The idea that ones curtains will fade quicker with daylight savings, that cows will get confused with respect to milking, that milk delivered to ones door will go off because of daylight savings are all ideas that these lot hold to their hearts.

Without a doubt in the IQ stakes they missed out.

For the record my parents are in rural WA and can't stand these morons.

[naut]

California Drug Dealers?

Huh?