Oh very well. I can sleep when I die. Here comes simoa.
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Oh very well. I can sleep when I die. Here comes simoa.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Yet more of my frothing mad conquest of the world. With pictures! And more pithy commentary.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
More to come... only 40 more turns to go until everyone dies.
Bonus extra credit... which letter am I missing? And do you know what I am talking about?
Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 06-17-2007 at 14:04. Reason: misspelled "weltanshauung"
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
More zany action with crazy contraptions. And useless captions.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
You watched it.... you can't UN-watch it. Tune in again soon for more...
TALES
OF
INTEREST!!!!
Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 06-17-2007 at 16:15.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
It's the thread that is almost entirely supported by myself. People might start to think I am a schitzo.
Me, myself, and I, Tighty Righty and Lefty Lucy will be having tea together. You're all invited to join us and the toes.
You don't know with whom you're dealing... I have been keeping myself occupied for 24 years now.
Seriously, feel free to comment.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Blah. People are watching but too afraid to say anything. You know, never disturb a psycho when he is having a chat with himself.
Btw, lol@Frenchglish.
Pinky: "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?"
The Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky - Try to take over the world!"
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Ok,ok askthepizzaguy..
Look at my eyes..Watch them..Okaaay..Your eyes is getting heaver..Sshhhht... Let's sleep...
Guru, run for your live my friend,it's our chance
The Truth is from thy Lord; so be not at all in doubt. The Heifer (Al-Baqarah)-147
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
The continuing saga. Britain invades Germany, prepares coup de grace of the Moors and the French.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
More will come shortly. Will resume humorous captions when some occur to me.
Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 06-19-2007 at 09:17.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
France and the Moors become extinct. The HRE crumbles before your eyes. I obliterate Milan in about 4 turns.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
My vast empire becomes a vicious horde of zealots.
Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 06-19-2007 at 09:25.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Bye, bye HRE. See you later, Milan. Venice becomes crippled. I prepare my invasion of Greece and Egypt and Denmark. Oh, the humanity!
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
The slaughter is just beginning...
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
The stage is set for a bloody battle in Greece. The Byzantines pose the greatest challenge to British domination thus far.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Tune in again soon for the thrilling conclusion of England v. The World.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
The end of Venice. Egypt gets bloodied up. Russia tastes the back of my hand. The Poles get their first taste of English steel. Denmark feels the pain.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
More to come. The world shakes in fear as the English juggernaut advances.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Leave any comments or questions you like. I will respond personally to each one.
The more interest I see, the quicker I will post more of the campaign.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
go askthepizzaguy go !
Anyway,I wonder that how do you prevent from revolts?And how do you make your people happy so much?
I know how I make my people happy but playing as HORDE makes this so difficult
The Truth is from thy Lord; so be not at all in doubt. The Heifer (Al-Baqarah)-147
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
*Sitting in the auditorium with Amon*"Cut! Cut! More feeling! More passion!"
Did you actually fight every battle or did you use auto-resolve?
How was your reputation in the end? Not that it really matters since the other factions are...
Pinky: "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?"
The Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky - Try to take over the world!"
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
I don't worry about revolts from Catholic factions. Only Dijon or high heresy cities are considered a problem. Priests can cure that.Originally Posted by -Amon-
Anyway,I wonder that how do you prevent from revolts?And how do you make your people happy so much?
I know how I make my people happy but playing as HORDE makes this so difficult
Muslim and orthodox factions either need to be sacked and filled with a garrison, or sacked and sacked and sacked, or exterminated.
If I am in a hurry to get somewhere and I know another crusade will only require an extra turn to pick it back up, I let it revolt.
See Marrakesh, Cairo, Nicaea? I let them revolt and picked them up again later. I had stuff to do.
Sacking and dismantling buildings and moving on CRIPPLES whomever you do that to. Now their city is in disorder and unable to defend itself OR resupply their armies.
This is TOTAL war, not a polite disagreement.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
I agree... sorry, not a whole lot of jokes this time. I had an expletive deleted amount of photos to post, and frankly they weren't that funny.*Sitting in the auditorium with Amon*
Did you actually fight every battle or did you use auto-resolve?
How was your reputation in the end? Not that it really matters since the other factions are...
In the beginning of the campaign, there were lots of clever tactics to employ. Now, in the middle game, it is strictly seek, sack, and destroy.
Kind of hard to write clever caption jokes about exterminating egyptians. That's a little dark even for me.
The whole idea of this post is to show the strategy, tactics used, and movement required to make the world your own by turn 58. It wasn't originally intended as a joke piece.
I fought the pitched battles. No sense in fighting a battle an idiot could win. I only use my general skills when there is need for a serious general on the field. When brute force is enough to win, and the tactic is charge, surround and slay, and it's not even a close fight, there is no sense in fighting it yourself.
Closely fought seiges were where I needed to be, and WHENEVER my generals got attacked on the field by a big army, I fought those battles to protect my general (and troops, I suppose... pfft. Peasants.)
Reputation was pretty much disastrous by the end. Whatever the bottom level was, that was me. I betrayed allies, exterminated their cities, and betrayed more allies.
Frankly, I was Germany in world war II. That's what my reputation was like by the end. Unfortunately for the world, the bad guys won this game.
I can shrug that off because it is just a game.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
There will be more posts soon. I am a college student and homework takes priority over fun, I am afraid.
I do have a question for you... would you folks like me to post all of the rest of the screenshots? I have a bunch. Maybe it would be quicker to post only the big events and describe in detail what happened between shots.
The narrative would move more quickly, but you would miss out on uh... stuff.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Because I laid waste to the entire world before the Mongols arrived, you were apparently deprived of England's massive armies taking on little Mongolia. I am thinking about extending this post to include the Mongol invasion.
I'll even include screenshots of the battles. Apologies in advance if it seems like Britain is winning them all. Because they will be.
I don't worry too much about the Mongols, they're harmless really. It's so cute the way they try to strike fear into the hearts of mortal men. They are just a bunch of cuddly bunnies to me. Oh, look at the cute little Mongol general with the maxed out dread. I'm shaking, I'm shaking! See him ride the pony into battle like a big boy?
He's got funny looking whiskers, mommy. Can I pet him?
Ooops! I accidentally stepped on it.
Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 06-19-2007 at 14:20.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
I wish to applaud you on both your endevour and your ability to crowd out all else that could be important in your life with what is essentially a glorified board game (albiet a fun one). My favorite faction is the English so I was intrigued by the notion of winning in 60 turns. But, after reading all of your posts and captions, for which I deserve both an award and years of therapy, I see now what people mean when they speak of the "spam-conquer" method of playing total war. Pretty much any game can be broken down to math and when you do that, you can figure out what is the mechanically best method to achieve victory parameters in the quickest possible time. I have just never seen such in-depth proof of this method being used, for which you deserve both praise and pity. I prefer the slower method of role-playing the British Empire but that probably has to do with the fact that I am a history grad-student studying the British Empire. I rather turn the Isles in a massive economic powerhouse and then capture colonies out of the European continent. But to each his own. If you keep the pictures coming, I'll keep reading them. We'll laugh together. We'll cry together. I just hope that one day you'll let yourself get some sleep so you can have the energy to do this test with every faction (you had to have known what you've started).
*sits back and grabs the popcorn to watch the next installment of "The British Empire Strikes Back (or first...)*
Knight of the Order of St. John
Duke of Nicosia
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
LOL that's what you gotta love the English for: their English ! LMFAO ! that was very well said.
If you remember me from M:TW days add me on Steam, do mention your org name.
http://www.steamcommunity.com/id/__shak
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Who's english? mine? My english is good ole Midwest USA English with a touch of academic pretension thrown in for good measure. ^_^
Knight of the Order of St. John
Duke of Nicosia
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
I was referring to the language, theirs. I did think think you were English. It's not the first time I've seen an American with very good English, perhaps they teach very "English_English" in the Midwest. I know a young man from thereabouts who could easily be mistaken for a very entertaining, well spoken and affluent Victorian diplomat (no pun intended).
Last edited by Shahed; 06-19-2007 at 21:10.
If you remember me from M:TW days add me on Steam, do mention your org name.
http://www.steamcommunity.com/id/__shak
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Quote:
Originally Posted by askthepizzaguy
In response to your first question, I honestly do not know. But you can find out! Generally, a faction with fewer provinces won't part with any. Try getting Milan to give up one of their two cities and it probably won't happen. France, England, HRE, Byzantium, and the Turks begin with multiple provinces, and they would therefore be up for grabs early on.
However, I recommend against purchasing. You can simply conquer in most cases. I simply did it to double the size of England on turn 1.
In other cases, those florins are better spent on troops. Unless you can get an extremely good bargain.
As for your second question;
Crusader/Jihad capable factions have the ability to recruit cheap troops and mercenaries and maintain them at no cost during a holy mission. This can triple the size of your army. To jumpstart this tactic, get several generals. Use town militia and cavalry to attack wandering rebels and fight non-seige battles to promote captains. Then, after you have a mess of crappy troops and a ton of generals, declare a holy war. Join EVERYone that you can to this war.
Then, recruit more town milita and cavalry and repeat while the crusade/jihad is still active (first 10 turns). You will quadruple the size of your army.
CAUTION! When the Jihad ends, or the crusade ends, you will have massive numbers of troops and NO FUNDING.
You will maintain them through deficit spending. Try to sack as many cities as possible while in debt, because you can remain afloat if you backstab anyone within range you can conquer.
Try not to lose any generals or too many troops in the process, and LET THE CITIES REBEL if you need to keep your troop levels up. When the next crusade or Jihad begins, sack it again and then keep it. Two sacks means double the florins, and equals an extermination. Unless you feel like you don't need the florins for some reason, just exterminate immediately and leave a sizeable garrison and move on (useful when there are plenty of crusader troops to recruit nearby)
Make expensive troops. They cost nothing once they join up, enabling you to build more. It's both cheap in terms of a tactic and in terms of economics.
In response to your third question, How many factions can a 900 pound gorilla knock over until everyone else gangs up on him? Answer: as many as he wants. Who cares if everyone else gangs up on you. If they declare war on you, it betters your chance of them getting excommunicated instead of you. And if you are playing the 'honorable' way, with a flawless reputation, this enables you to war with everyone without harming your rep. Although you have to play in a VERY chivalrous way to conquer the world and have a perfect reputation. (no sacking/extermination, no backstabbing, and lots and lots and lots and lots of bribes all around).
To more directly answer your question, it seems almost random. Sometimes the computer backstabs you first, all at once. Other times you're halfway through slaying two of your former allies before the world turns on you. Still others, half the continent.
But be prepared. The AI is NOT to be trusted. No one should ever be completely trusted. And since they WILL turn on you eventually, 99% of the time, why not fight them on your own terms? Backstab them.
Reputation is for the weak. Bribe the pope and just dont get excommunicated. Thats all you need to do to have both hands free to annihilate the whole world.
And the reply from Rebellious Waffle:
I just gave your suggestions a whirl on a Venice campaign -- not completely yet, I've only got 36 provinces on turn 75 -- but it's a huge improvement over what I was doing before. A few crusader stacks from Antioch provided the final push to take down the Byzantines, and a lucky Holy Roman Empire excommunication let me Crusade on Frankfurt, taking all their starting provinces and about half of France in four turns. Byzantium, most of France, Germany, Hungary, Sicily, Milan, Tunisia, Corisa and Sardinia are all mine, for a GDP of approximately 50,000 florins per turn. (Venice has great militia units, so I usually get 20,000-30,000 per turn to spend on construction, bribes and recruitment because of free city garrisons.)
Before this, I never really appreciated the awesomeness of spies and assassins -- my earlier approach was more chivalrous, not so much of a brothel to be found anywhere. (Who wants Extravagant generals?) Soon after conquering Constantinople, the Turks called a Jihad; not being enthusiastic about other people's hordes, I sent a flock of assassins out to shake hands with doorknobs.
(Jihad army - general) = (no jihad)
Long story short, Turkey lost eight family members, a gaggle of imams, some merchants and more diplomats than were strictly necessary. A ceasefire ensued -- and that lovely "failed jihad" noise that sounds like a manic-depressive accordion. Plus, Doge Bartolomeo got "the Killer" added to his name. Yay terrorism!
"Despicable" means "mad stylin' ", right?
-The above was an email exchange regarding how it is possible to be more, shall we say, proactive and expedient, in slaughtering the AI.
Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow. I can feel your anger. It gives you focus; makes you stronger. With each passing moment you make yourself MORE my servant!
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Come, boy... see for yourself. From here you will witness the final destruction of the alliance... and the end of your insignificant rebellion. Your fleet is lost, and your friends down there on the sanctuary moon will not survive.
...There is no escape.
Yes, in response to your comments, in order to pull of this freak show of epic proportions I have had to sacrifice what could have been a life. It IS both brilliant and pitiful. Of course, the extraordinary must always make sacrifices, sometimes good, sometimes bad.
I however, do guarantee that the economic powerhouse will be achieved, eventually, and generate more wealth than doing this the relatively peaceful and honorable way. When this campaign is over, there is generally no need for standing armies at this point, and all the provinces belong to the victor. At this point, there is simply no way to spend the money fast enough. Seriously, building whatever is the most expensive in each city, all the cities combined, not even close. You almost have to have a standing army to prevent your massive bloated budget surplus from wreaking havoc on your generals non-corrupt traits.
This maximum slash-and-burn method simply gets you to the point of owning all the provinces quicker, and by that point you have all the money in the world to improve your cities... and with no need to fund armies, every settlement can be a city, and every city can be built up by you.
It is quicker to build it up yourself than let the AI do it.
Now... back to the clone wars... from the ashes of which rise the first galactic empire.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Yes but I want to play with more units than just town militia...
rofl
:D
"your overconfidence is your greatest weakness"
Knight of the Order of St. John
Duke of Nicosia
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Only now, at the end, do I understand.Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow. I can feel your anger. It gives you focus; makes you stronger. With each passing moment you make yourself MORE my servant!
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
"Wars not make one great."
Also, as much as I admire how you can spam the known world with endless hordes of town militia, I just enjoy watching fully upgraded Retinue Longbowman set Elephants on fire too much to forego upgrading in order to see how quickly I can beat a program(and not even a very smart program).
Knight of the Order of St. John
Duke of Nicosia
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Could this be an allusion to the second star wars trilogy?
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Next: A new hope, perhaps?
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
Your faith in your friends is yours.
#Winstontoostrong
#Montytoostronger
Re: England: Turn by turn (links provided here)
"Never underestimate the power of a few large men on small horses to change the world."
I like seeing how much money I can leech out of Constantinople. A Fairground, Warehouse and Merchant Bank have improved the amount of trade goods to such an extent that the silk commodity there goes for about 600-700 florins per turn.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks