he Married Gamers FAQ
Q
1, MY job interferes with my gaming.
A,This problem can be resolved by resiging your post.You should notice a dramatic increase in available time to spend at your PC.
Q
2,I am continually nagged by my spouse while coquering the world.
A,The quick fix for this problem is to use headphones.Be warned that this may lead to severe brusing around the face and in a small number of cases can actually cause damage to your Pc.A more permanent solution is to go to "mycomputer/file/options/divorce"and initate divorce.exe.You are probably saying to your self at this stage that you did not intend spending this amount of money,fear not.Since you are now unemployed this will dramatically decrease the finciasl burden to yourself.
Q3 I am experiencing periodic slow downs
A,This is a known issue due to sleep deprivation.We are currently working on a patch work quilt which will be availble for delivery once it leaves QA (quilt assesers).In the mean time we suggest that you ring your ex spouse in the hope that you can negotiate a deal for the camp bed.
Q4 I am having problems with my power settings/energy levels.
A,This is a tricky problem as it boils down to tatse.In our experience tho we find that a sausage roll will restore your enegy levels and can be prepared in seconds.Note of caution,make sure to buy pre cooked sausage rolls if your spouse made off with the micro wave.
Q5 will this FAQ improve my sex life.
A,Most definately.While playing games we recomend that you should take a break every 12 hrs for 5 minutes.During this 5 minute perod you should heat up your sausage roll in the micro wave ,Log on to www.postyourspousenude.com and enjoy.The first thing yop will notice is that your right hand dose not require a headache tablet when asked to peform.Make sure you down load the latest sex drivers.
Q6 My mouse/keyboard has lost sensitivity.
A When down loading the latest sex drivers make sure to keep some form of tissue/wipes close by.
Q7 Since playing games my eyes have become sunken and baggy with dark shadows under them.
A Some of our rival copetitors recomend playing in a well lighted room.We recomend sun glasses.This saves on electricity.In extrem circumstances it might be advisable to open the curtains now and again.
Q8 when leaving my newly aquired 1 room appartment to purchase my sausage rolls and crate of beer I find it very painfull.
A.This is because you have become unaccustomed to the sun and your pale complextion will burn quickly.Cut 2 eye holes in a large paper bag and place over your head.Write the word gamer on the bag so as not to alarm the local shop keeper.Also make sure you weasr your sun glasses under the bag as squinting is so unkewl.
This FAQ is a work in progress.If you have any comments which might help the new gamer over come some of the initial hardships of gaming feel free to comment.
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