Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 32

Thread: EU Adopts Official Language?

  1. #1

    Default EU Adopts Official Language?

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as ‘Euro-English’.

    In the first year, ’s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f’. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’.

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and after ziz fifz yer , ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
    spam box special ladies and gentlemen...

  2. #2
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Between Louis' sheets
    Posts
    10,369

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    teh old
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  3. #3

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    teh old
    Really?

    This is why panzer doesn't attempt humor, even if its just someone else's humor copy/pasted.

  4. #4
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Between Louis' sheets
    Posts
    10,369

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by PanzerJaeger View Post
    Really?

    This is why panzer doesn't attempt humor, even if its just someone else's humor copy/pasted.
    Get back up on that horse cowboy
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  5. #5
    Honorary Argentinian Senior Member Gyroball Champion, Karts Champion Caius's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    I live in my home, don't you?
    Posts
    8,114

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Very old.




    Names, secret names
    But never in my favour
    But when all is said and done
    It's you I love

  6. #6
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Saint Antoine
    Posts
    9,935

    Default Re : Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by PanzerJaeger View Post
    This is why panzer doesn't attempt humor
    You're German! Best to stear well clear of any attempts at humour.



    You don't ask the British to cook, the Italians to build meticulously planned roads on time, and the Germans to make jokes.

    The EU is all about fixing this: British jokes, German roads, and Italian food.
    Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
    Texan by birth, woodpecker by the grace of God
    I would be the voice of your conscience if you had one - Brenus
    Bt why woulf we uy lsn'y Staraft - Fragony
    Not everything
    blue and underlined is a link


  7. #7
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Between Louis' sheets
    Posts
    10,369

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    So France is kinda of useless? Glad to see the EU wont drastically change the culture of the continent much
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  8. #8
    Chieftain of the Pudding Race Member Evil_Maniac From Mars's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    6,407

    Default Re: Re : Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat View Post
    You're German! Best to stear well clear of any attempts at humour.
    From a Parisian?

  9. #9
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Saint Antoine
    Posts
    9,935

    Default Re : Re: Re : Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by Evil_Maniac From Mars View Post
    From a Parisian?
    The laughing smilie makes me assume there is some sort of attempt at humour in there, but I think your Germaness got the better of you.


    So France is kinda of useless?
    No. France is the Texas of Europe.

    It just sits there, right in the middle, being Big and Strong and letting the others worship us in jealous despair.
    Last edited by Louis VI the Fat; 09-19-2008 at 22:47.
    Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
    Texan by birth, woodpecker by the grace of God
    I would be the voice of your conscience if you had one - Brenus
    Bt why woulf we uy lsn'y Staraft - Fragony
    Not everything
    blue and underlined is a link


  10. #10
    Iron Fist Senior Member Husar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    15,617

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    I hadn't seen it before and found it quite hilarious!

    And I agree with Louis, France is so strong that we had an entire topic about it's army falling apart.


    "Topic is tired and needs a nap." - Tosa Inu

  11. #11
    Chieftain of the Pudding Race Member Evil_Maniac From Mars's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    6,407

    Default Re: Re : Re: Re : Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat View Post
    The laughing smilie makes me assume there is some sort of attempt at humour in there, but I think your Germaness got the better of you.
    German humour, far too base sophisticated for a Frenchman.

  12. #12
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Saint Antoine
    Posts
    9,935

    Default Re : EU Adopts Official Language?

    Husar! D...did I just notice a faint glimmering of...of...of humorous wit in your post?

    Well done lad! I bet you are at least 50% non-German!
    Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
    Texan by birth, woodpecker by the grace of God
    I would be the voice of your conscience if you had one - Brenus
    Bt why woulf we uy lsn'y Staraft - Fragony
    Not everything
    blue and underlined is a link


  13. #13
    Hope guides me Senior Member Hosakawa Tito's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    Western New Yuck
    Posts
    7,914

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    I thought nationalism in the enlightened community of the EU was verbotten?
    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." *Jim Elliot*

  14. #14
    Chieftain of the Pudding Race Member Evil_Maniac From Mars's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    6,407

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hosakawa Tito View Post
    I thought nationalism in the enlightened community of the EU was verbotten?
    Except EU nationalism, of course.

  15. #15
    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    In average 2000m above sea level.
    Posts
    4,176

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    I hadn't seen it...

    and I laughed my ass off...

  16. #16
    Camel Lord Senior Member Capture The Flag Champion Martok's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    In my own little world....but it's okay, they know me there.
    Posts
    8,257

    Default Re: Re : Re: Re : Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Gah! My head hurts from reading that.


    Quote Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat View Post
    France is the Texas of Europe.

    It just sits there, right in the middle, being Big and Strong and letting the others worship us in jealous despair.
    Veldig god, Louis! The "jealous despair" is what really sells it.
    "MTW is not a game, it's a way of life." -- drone

  17. #17
    Things Change Member JAG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    London, England.
    Posts
    11,058

    Default Re: Re : Re: Re : Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by Martok View Post
    Gah! My head hurts from reading that.
    Agreed! I found it pretty funny though, even if it might be old.
    GARCIN: I "dreamt," you say. It was no dream. When I chose the hardest path, I made my choice deliberately. A man is what he wills himself to be.
    INEZ: Prove it. Prove it was no dream. It's what one does, and nothing else, that shows the stuff one's made of.
    GARCIN: I died too soon. I wasn't allowed time to - to do my deeds.
    INEZ: One always dies too soon - or too late. And yet one's whole life is complete at that moment, with a line drawn neatly under it, ready for the summing up. You are - your life, and nothing else.

    Jean Paul Sartre - No Exit 1944

  18. #18
    lurker Member JR-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,338

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    an old classic, well worth revisiting now and then.

  19. #19
    Hǫrðar Member Viking's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Hordaland, Norway
    Posts
    6,449

    Default Re: Re : Re: Re : Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by Martok View Post
    Gah! My head hurts from reading that.



    Veldig god, Louis! The "jealous despair" is what really sells it.
    Did you just mean to say veldig bra?


    Anyhow, I believe this was posted by EMFM in the jokes thread in the frontroom a couple of months ago.
    Last edited by Viking; 09-20-2008 at 20:53.
    Runes for good luck:

    [1 - exp(i*2π)]^-1

  20. #20
    Camel Lord Senior Member Capture The Flag Champion Martok's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    In my own little world....but it's okay, they know me there.
    Posts
    8,257

    Default Re: Re : Re: Re : Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by Viking View Post
    Did you just mean to say veldig bra?
    Gah. Yes it was. (My Norwegian is *very* rusty.)
    "MTW is not a game, it's a way of life." -- drone

  21. #21
    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    In a hopeless place with no future
    Posts
    8,646

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?



    Never seen it before, I thought it was hilarious.
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

  22. #22
    Member Member KrooK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Kraj skrzydlatych jeźdźców
    Posts
    1,083

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    If it can't be Polish why not German :) More citizens of EU uses German as national language.
    John Thomas Gross - liar who want put on Poles responsibility for impassivity of American Jews during holocaust

  23. #23
    Formerly: SwedishFish Member KarlXII's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    San Diego, California, United States. Malmö/Gothenburg, Sweden. Cities of my ancestors and my favorite places to go!
    Posts
    1,496

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by KrooK View Post
    If it can't be Polish why not German :) More citizens of EU uses German as national language.
    Polish is on the list, I'm sure. I think it's somewhere behind Mandarin.
    HOW ABOUT 'DEM VIKINGS
    -Martok

  24. #24
    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    In average 2000m above sea level.
    Posts
    4,176

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Väldigt bra!

    Anyway, I think both mandarin and Iambic hexameter beats polish when it comes to official EU language.
    Last edited by Kadagar_AV; 09-21-2008 at 02:07.

  25. #25
    Poll Smoker Senior Member CountArach's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    9,029

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by SwedishFish View Post
    Polish is on the list, I'm sure. I think it's somewhere behind Mandarin.
    Haha, oh snap!

    I loved that, Panzer
    Rest in Peace TosaInu, the Org will be your legacy
    Quote Originally Posted by Leon Blum - For All Mankind
    Nothing established by violence and maintained by force, nothing that degrades humanity and is based on contempt for human personality, can endure.

  26. #26
    Hǫrðar Member Viking's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Hordaland, Norway
    Posts
    6,449

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by Martok View Post
    Gah. Yes it was. (My Norwegian is *very* rusty.)
    It's just that it appeared to come out of thin air. Norway isn't even a member of the EU.

    Quote Originally Posted by KrooK View Post
    If it can't be Polish why not German :) More citizens of EU uses German as national language.
    But how many actually speak it?
    Runes for good luck:

    [1 - exp(i*2π)]^-1

  27. #27
    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    In average 2000m above sea level.
    Posts
    4,176

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    They more shout it imho... or spit it out...


  28. #28
    Member Member KrooK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Kraj skrzydlatych jeźdźców
    Posts
    1,083

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    We should count only citizens of European Union or people living into European Union not people uses language at all. GB has about 60.000.000 citizens, Germany 80.000 + few millions into Austria.
    German language has much more native speakers. English on the other hand is being used as lingua franca all over the world.
    John Thomas Gross - liar who want put on Poles responsibility for impassivity of American Jews during holocaust

  29. #29
    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    10,415

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    It's a little ironic to use lingua franca in reference to english.

    Quote Originally Posted by a wiki article
    Originally lingua Franca (or Sabir) referred to a mixed language composed mostly of Italian with a broad vocabulary drawn from Persian, French, Greek and Arabic. Lingua Franca literally means "Frankish language". This originated from the Arabic custom of referring to all Europeans as Franks. This mixed language was used for communication throughout the medieval and early modern Middle East[citation needed] as a diplomatic language; the generic description lingua franca has since become common for any language used by speakers of different languages to communicate with one another. Some samples of Sabir have been preserved in Molière's comedy, Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme.
    If the wiki article is correct (and I think it is), then your assertion that English, particularly American English which absorbs millions of words from other languages, is correct, too. Whether continetal europe adopts Am-Eng, with its ability to accomodate all other languages, is a political question though, that doesn't look good, because of folks not wanting to 'give up' their native tongue, or in their minds 'submit' to American incursions on their culture.

    I should get up to speed on Spanish and Chinese. Then I could communicate with about 75-80% of humanity. But I'm getting kinda old, and it gets harder to teach this old dog new tricks with each passing day.
    Be well. Do good. Keep in touch.

  30. #30
    Master Procrastinator Member TevashSzat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    University of Pennsylvania
    Posts
    2,367

    Default Re: EU Adopts Official Language?

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan View Post
    I should get up to speed on Spanish and Chinese. Then I could communicate with about 75-80% of humanity. But I'm getting kinda old, and it gets harder to teach this old dog new tricks with each passing day.
    Well, if you know English, Spanish is (fairly) easy to learn. Basically, most people who had learned a few years of high school Spanish should be able to read most Spanish articles and get the gist of it without much problem. Communicating (ie speaking/writing), however, is another story.

    As for Chinese.....well its really hard for anyone who hasn't learned an "Oriental" language already (something like Korean/Japanese) since it really has no resemblance towards Western languages (like the prominent use of phonic spellings as well as the written one)
    "I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me." - Issac Newton

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO