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Thread: The wandering bard of the steppes.

  1. #1
    Peerless Senior Member johnhughthom's Avatar
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    Default The wandering bard of the steppes.

    We follow a group of men as they dismount their horses and walk together toward the largest of what looks like a city of tents. As we step through the opening we see a larger group of men sat around a raised table, drinking wine, smoking weed and singing song. Our friends sit on the floor and beckon toward the only female in the room who hands them each a jug of wine. They all look to the back of the tent where a man has risen to his feet, as he climbs onto the raised table the babble of chatter and raucous singing stops immediately. This is why they are all here, the wandering bard of the steppes is here to tell them tales of their past glories and tragedies.


    Back when the heirs of Seleukos ruled in Persia, Syria and Asia Minor
    (Though the Empire of Cyrus, Darius and Xerxes was indeed much finer)
    Arose a tribe from the east,
    Masters of the four legged beast.
    Their fate was to conquer, to rule and to kill,
    Nobody on a horse had the same kind of skill.
    Antiochus in Seleukiea knew not of these men,
    Could they cause him great pain,
    Even end his foul reign?
    The spears would be sent to crush the great tribe,
    Would they be cut down from afar with nowhere to hide?
    Will king be bereft,
    With no soldiers left,
    Or will the horsemen feel pain,
    And return to the plain?


    The bard paused and looked around the room.

    To hear the story of these men,
    Return here again.
    The story is long,
    An heroic old song,
    Told me by my father,
    Many times passed on.


    The bard left the table and returned to his bed at the back of the room. The noise in the room increases, the men return to their drinking, singing and arguing. The bard is already asleep as we slip out of the tent.
    Last edited by johnhughthom; 01-28-2009 at 14:25.

  2. #2
    Guest desert's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    What a crappy bard; he sang for like a minute!

  3. #3
    Peerless Senior Member johnhughthom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    It was an intro...

  4. #4
    Peerless Senior Member johnhughthom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    We return to the tent just as the bard wakes and return to our seat on the floor.

    Your ancestors fought just as you do,
    On horseback with bow and lance too.
    The tribesmen were quick, nimble and tough,
    More often than not they were more than enough.



    The Dahae were fierce, proud and strong,
    We praise them still in campfire song.
    The pick of the men rode in small roving bands,
    The bow a deadly weapon in such well skilled hands.



    The nobles, few in number but heavily armed,
    Still too quick for the spears and rarely were harmed.
    Loyal to the king their anger was fearsome,
    If he was in danger swiftly would they come.



    The best of the best,
    Somehow better than the rest.
    The Kings Royal guard,
    Who always fought hard.
    Feared by Saka, Indian and Greek,
    Every enemy was made to look weak.



    These were the men who rode out to battle,
    Constantly eager to test their mettle.
    An enemy at hand,
    Who ruled a vast land,
    How could they bring woe,
    To such a great foe?
    Enemies all around, north, east, south and west,
    Such dangers to any leader a test.


    And to you Mr desert, heckling my song,
    How dare you claim I didn't sing for long?


    Once again the bard retires to his bed, seemingly he could only sing in short bursts before tiring himself out.
    Last edited by johnhughthom; 01-28-2009 at 14:28.

  5. #5
    Guest desert's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Mr. Homer would like to have a harsh word with you, o Bard.


    <----- Homer
    Last edited by desert; 01-28-2009 at 04:15.

  6. #6
    Rampant psychopath Member Olaf Blackeyes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    lulz this is an awesome war in the making

    My own personal SLAVE BAND (insert super evil laugh here)
    My balloons:
    My AAR The Story of Souls: A Sweboz AAR
    https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?t=109013


    Quote Originally Posted by Dayve View Post
    You're fighting against the AI... how do you NOT win?

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    EBII Bricklayer Member V.T. Marvin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    That is great! This is the first AAR in verses I have ever seen, and maybe the only one actually. Keep it going, it could be a poem on a Homeric scale eventually, if you persist.

    Just a friendly advice - DO NOT BLITZ! Make it hard for yourself, waste your opportunities, and let the AI develop. It will be more challenge and fun for you and more drama for us, your readers.

  8. #8
    Legatvs Member SwissBarbar's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    This seems to become a great AAR
    full of drama, bitter fate and war
    the bard is great and not crappy at all
    be it in winter, spring, summer or fall
    he sings sentimental hymn and cheerful song
    incorruptible and in a carping tongue
    let us hear more, for that I vote
    because this AAR is, let me quote

    "The best of the best,
    Somehow better than the rest"
    Last edited by SwissBarbar; 01-28-2009 at 08:08.
    Balloon-Count: x 15


    Many thanks to Hooahguy for this great sig.

  9. #9

    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    This AAR does not speak to me,
    I hope it dies in a CTD
    Likstrandens ormar som spyr blod och etter, Ni som blint trampar Draugs harg
    På knä I Eljudne mottag död mans dom, Mot död och helsvite, ert öde och pinoplats

  10. #10
    Misanthropos Member I of the Storm's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    A refreshingly new approach to an AAR, very original! I'm really curious how it will develop.

  11. #11
    Member Member Dutchhoplite's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Great idea
    I love the smell of bronze in the morning!

    Campaigns completed: Vanilla Seleucid, EB 1.2. Carthaginian, RSII Pergamon

  12. #12
    Peerless Senior Member johnhughthom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaertecken View Post
    This AAR does not speak to me,
    I hope it dies in a CTD
    A wee bit harsh there, if you don't like it don't read it.

    Thanks for all the encouragement, I have had this idea in my mind for a while now but didn't think I had the ability to pull it off(still don't). I have always thought of bards as a bit cheesy so the songs kind of reflect that. I certainly don't expect to challenge Homer with this AAR...

    Quote Originally Posted by V.T. Marvin View Post
    Just a friendly advice - DO NOT BLITZ! Make it hard for yourself, waste your opportunities, and let the AI develop. It will be more challenge and fun for you and more drama for us, your readers.
    I haven't actually started the campaign yet, I'm considering how to go about it. I may try something other than the usual AS blitz but I'm not 100% what direction I'm going to go. Other strategies hold the possibility of failure and I'm not sure I want my third Pahlav AAR dying an early death.
    Last edited by johnhughthom; 01-28-2009 at 14:41.

  13. #13

    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Interesting approach! Just an idea. You could incorporate some mythological creatures or divine guidance when singing about battles. A bit like Homer involved the gods. I think this would add some extra taste to your AAR.

  14. #14
    Misanthropos Member I of the Storm's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Good idea here by Silence Hunter. That would really add some extra flavour.

    There's nothing wrong with an early AS blitz, as long as you don't blitz them to death. Just get yourself a decent power base, probably within the lifespan of your first ruler or so, and then take it slow.

    The advantage of your bard-approach is that you can sing about 10 years in 2 lines if necessary. As long as there is enough beer/wine/fermented mare's milk to keep the audience at the right level there is nothing wrong with subhomerian poetry.

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    EB:NOM Triumvir Member gamegeek2's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Jaertecken's just a hater.
    Europa Barbarorum: Novus Ordo Mundi - Mod Leader Europa Barbarorum - Team Member

    Quote Originally Posted by skullheadhq
    Run Hax! For slave master gamegeek has arrived
    "To robbery, slaughter, plunder, they give the lying name of empire; they make a desert and call it peace." -Calgacus

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    EBII Bricklayer Member V.T. Marvin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    When I was thinking about a new campaign last time, I was seriously considering play as Pahlava - my definitely mos favourite faction - again.
    I was playing with the idea to try NOT to attack the AS at all, disband the armies and to try to survive with just Nisa and Khiva as long as possible, make them both settled and slowly develop the economy, using the nomadic FMs + surplus FMs to hunt down rebels. Once either AS or Baktria would attack me I would strike back, take the province from which the attack originated and make peace again. If I would eventually conquer Baktra, I would install a TypeIV gov there and role-play an alliance between Pahlavan and Baktrian kingdoms as two independent units, with their own budgets and armies, only occasionally coming to help one another...
    In the end I have decided to try a Baktrian campaign first, because so far I have never played for them.
    But I will certainly come back to Pahlava again eventually. In fact, I enjoy those poor years at the beginning most. You know, when every single mnai counts and one have to save for years to finally build something, constantly fearing the prospect of a full stack of phalanxes looming on the horizont... Terrific!

  17. #17

    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Quote Originally Posted by gamegeek2 View Post
    Jaertecken's just a hater.
    Say what now? ;)
    Likstrandens ormar som spyr blod och etter, Ni som blint trampar Draugs harg
    På knä I Eljudne mottag död mans dom, Mot död och helsvite, ert öde och pinoplats

  18. #18
    EB TRIBVNVS PLEBIS Member MarcusAureliusAntoninus's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    I just read this. Even though I'm not a big fan of peotry, it is a nice start. Keep it up!


  19. #19
    EB:NOM Triumvir Member gamegeek2's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Say what now? ;)

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    It's all in good fun, but don't comment if you don't have something good to say. Must be why nobody ever posts on my AAR...
    Europa Barbarorum: Novus Ordo Mundi - Mod Leader Europa Barbarorum - Team Member

    Quote Originally Posted by skullheadhq
    Run Hax! For slave master gamegeek has arrived
    "To robbery, slaughter, plunder, they give the lying name of empire; they make a desert and call it peace." -Calgacus

  20. #20
    Peerless Senior Member johnhughthom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    A few jugs of wines, and fondles of the serving wench, later, we find ourselves slightly the worse for wear. Perhaps our drunken state will make the bards words more palatable to our ears. The room hushes once again as he rises to sing his song.

    As I begin our long tale, with a good heart,
    Where do I begin? Why right at the start!


    The good King Phrapates, honoured and loyal,
    Patriarch of a family perhaps to be Royal.
    Friend of the Empire, protecting frontier,
    Those who once raided, cowered in fear.
    Nomadic since birth, he wanted to settle,
    As an old man, he wanted to stay in fine fettle.
    Fine leader in saddle and also in finance,
    He honoured the Gods, no need to do penance.
    The Empire was sick, it needed a cure,
    Phrapates did help, of that I am sure.
    Cities rebelled, no loyalty or trust,
    Phrapates helped as he felt he must.
    Zadrakata for one threw off Hellenic rule,
    Phrapates we know, he was no fool.
    He sent his son and men of high rank,
    To the rebellious scum, they gave a good spank
    .

    Fighting together, nomad and hellene,
    Must surely have painted a friendly scene.
    The Dahae were true, no blade to the back,
    Their honoured friends they would never attack.
    Pontic ruler rebelled and asked for his help,
    "No chance in hell, you ungrateful whelp."
    The king he did die, his son took his place,
    Would he rule with equal poise and grace?
    No greater friend did the Empire know,
    Surely this friendship would be allowed to grow?



    Having painted the scene of the rule of the first Pahlav King in his story the bard once again retires, hoping he has whetted our appetite to learn more of the history of these great people.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    I have managed to make it to 264 BC with no AS attack, I disbanded all my troops right off and I'm building up slowly. I even managed to fund a gold mine in Nisa. I have spies in all the nearby AS settlements, trying to forment rebellions to occupy them.
    Last edited by johnhughthom; 01-30-2009 at 04:44.

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    EB TRIBVNVS PLEBIS Member MarcusAureliusAntoninus's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Although they are a good idea for Pahlava, be careful of rebellions, those AS towns may rebel to you and cause AS to declare war on you.


  22. #22
    Peerless Senior Member johnhughthom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    I've played quite a few Pahlav campaigns and they always rebel to eleutheroi. I'd better watch for that then as I'd like to keep the alliance going as long as possible, it's already kept up longer than any other campaign so I'm expecting an attack any time soon.

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    Misanthropos Member I of the Storm's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Great! This is going to be interesting.

  24. #24
    Legatvs Member SwissBarbar's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Like it very much
    Balloon-Count: x 15


    Many thanks to Hooahguy for this great sig.

  25. #25

    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Strange, I can't seem to stop checking this for new updates....

    A question, will this be an AAR aiming to establish a persian empire or a "king of the steppes"-AAR?
    Likstrandens ormar som spyr blod och etter, Ni som blint trampar Draugs harg
    På knä I Eljudne mottag död mans dom, Mot död och helsvite, ert öde och pinoplats

  26. #26
    Peerless Senior Member johnhughthom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaertecken View Post
    A question, will this be an AAR aiming to establish a persian empire or a "king of the steppes"-AAR?
    To be honest I haven't decided yet, I will see how the game develops first.

  27. #27
    Peerless Senior Member johnhughthom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    A troupe of dancing monkeys are leaving the table just as we wake from our stupor, the smell of monkey urine makes it clear we didn't miss much. The bard returns to his place ready to regal us with tales of yore.


    King Arshak, not long the top man,
    Friendly relations was his master plan.
    To follow his father, and defend the hellene realm,
    To fight and defend he would don his helm.
    Unmatched in the saddle, riding since birth,
    Of men who could best him there sure was a dearth.
    Observant of the Gods, most specially Mithra,
    He was also quite partial to anything in a bra.
    A riot at parties, joyous and gay,
    But never ashamed to be seen to pray.
    The kingdom grew richer under his gaze,
    No mathematical problem able to faze.
    Surely the Empire would love such a fellow,
    Relations would stay cordial and mellow?
    Marakanda, a town north of his haunt,
    Rebelled from Hellene and started to taunt.
    A force like before went forth to help allied friend,
    Their rear and the flanks they would die to defend.
    The town was retaken, all rebels killed,
    No coin purse did Arshak ask to be filled.
    On return news so ghastly, offensive and grave,
    Seleukid forces besieging the Kings son, young and brave.



    The host was destroyed, heroic defence from the lad,
    King came back to homeland bewildered and sad.
    Friendship destroyed, trust tossed aside,
    The King felt like he had lost a bride.
    What steps would he take, would he seek to strike back,
    From an honoured friend this had been a surprise attack.
    Without Princely courage our people would have perished,
    Instead what was lost was a friendship so cherished.
    War was afoot, diplomacy pointless,
    What would he do, our King so dauntless?


    The bard finally retires for the night so we slip out of the tent and return to our horses, ready for the long ride to our tribe.
    Last edited by johnhughthom; 01-31-2009 at 03:47.

  28. #28
    Sage of Bread Member Rilder's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Awesome AAR, I love aars that stray from norm.

  29. #29
    Legatvs Member SwissBarbar's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Great chapter! Keep it going, looking forward to "hearing" more of your bard ^^
    Balloon-Count: x 15


    Many thanks to Hooahguy for this great sig.

  30. #30
    EBII Bricklayer Member V.T. Marvin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wandering bard of the steppes.

    Upon hearing the story, I have shed a tear,
    For that treason I´m sorry, more I want to hear!

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