Serious health question

[Major Robert Dump]

If my farts don't stink does that mean that I am healthy?

I know we have some nurses and dentists here like Rory so maybe he can help

[Andres]

I'd say quiet the opposite. My grandfathers' farts stinked and they died at 89 and 90 respectively.

My farts stink and I feel perfectly fine, thank you very much.

Maybe your farts do stink, but you don't notice it yourself.

Now that I think of it, I personally don't feel my farts stink. Other people say they do, but to me, they just smell. Not stink. Sometimes, I can even enjoy the smell of my own farts.

Hmmm...

rory, if my farts smell fantastically well, does that mean I'm healthier than MRD?

[LeftEyeNine]

What have you sm-EEEUURGH NEVER MIND.

[Fragony]

Nobody thinks their own farts smell all that bad.

[Major Robert Dump]

No but like mine don't smell at all, not even the people in the office can smell them. When I walk by the Colonels desk I crop dust like every morning. I do it my the gymbag roid freak who benches with his head next to my butt while I am doing my old fat guy yoga. I fart in the dining facility, in the mrap, on the helicopter. I fart when I haven't showered in 6 days. I fart right before a trip to the bathroom. No smell. No one smells anything, even when I fake and say "whats that smell?" they are all like "wot?"

So I am inclined to believe that my body is operating in its most optimal of my entire life because my farts have not smelled in over 2 months now.

[rajpoot]

This is a very weird topic....

Anyway, I doubt it's anything serious.
Since you seem to do it so many times, maybe you don't do it hard enough for people to actually smell anything.

[Major Robert Dump]

Hmm. I think you have given me an idea for a new motivational shirt:

FART HARDER

[Andres]

No but like mine don't smell at all, not even the people in the office can smell them. When I walk by the Colonels desk I crop dust like every morning. I do it my the gymbag roid freak who benches with his head next to my butt while I am doing my old fat guy yoga. I fart in the dining facility, in the mrap, on the helicopter. I fart when I haven't showered in 6 days. I fart right before a trip to the bathroom. No smell. No one smells anything, even when I fake and say "whats that smell?" they are all like "wot?"

So I am inclined to believe that my body is operating in its most optimal of my entire life because my farts have not smelled in over 2 months now.

If you fart at that frequency, people probably don't notice anymore because they're so used to the smell that they think it's the natural smell of their environment.

Or mabye the smell of your unwashed body covers the smell of your farts? Or perhaps you use a very intrusive deodorant?

Or you're an aggressive 7 feet tall giant with a black belt in 7 different kinds of martial arts who benchpresses 1.000 kilo and nobody dares mentioning it?

[LeftEyeNine]

No but like mine don't smell at all, not even the people in the office can smell them. When I walk by the Colonels desk I crop dust like every morning. I do it my the gymbag roid freak who benches with his head next to my butt while I am doing my old fat guy yoga. I fart in the dining facility, in the mrap, on the helicopter. I fart when I haven't showered in 6 days. I fart right before a trip to the bathroom. No smell. No one smells anything, even when I fake and say "whats that smell?" they are all like "wot?"

So I am inclined to believe that my body is operating in its most optimal of my entire life because my farts have not smelled in over 2 months now.

Wow.

I envy the liberty.

[A Nerd]

You need to eat more vegetables. That should help.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Nobody thinks their own farts smell all that bad.

That would depend entirely on one's diet.


I'm sitting on a recipe here for onion soup that has all sorts of...effects, for days on end.

[Samurai Waki]

You need to eat more vegetables. That should help.

I don't know... if you want them to stink, you should eat more red meat and drink more beer-- if you can't gag maggots then, I don't know if there is an easy solution.

[Fragony]

I think it's just the barracks smelling worse, as nobody smells good

[Drunk Clown]

Why are some people even giving serious answers?

[Centurion1]

i knew this wasnt serious when

a. I saw MRD made the thread

b. It said serious

[Andres]

Why are some people even giving serious answers?

Because this is a Serious (tm) thread

[TheLastDays]

Why are some people even giving serious answers?

[drone]

From wiki:

The gas released during a flatus event frequently has an unpleasant odor. For many years, this was thought to be due to skatole and indole, which are byproducts of the digestion of meat. However, gas chromatography testing in 1984 revealed that sulfur-containing compounds, such as methanethiol, hydrogen sulfide (rotten egg smell) and dimethyl sulfide, were also[2] responsible for the smell.[3]

The incidence of odoriferous compounds in flatulence emissions increases from herbivores, such as cattle, through omnivores to carnivorous species[citation needed]. Such odor can also be caused by the presence of large numbers of microflora bacteria and/or the presence of feces in the rectum.

skatole - "It occurs naturally in feces (it is produced from tryptophan in the mammalian digestive tract)", same with indole
methanethiol - "It occurs naturally in certain foods, such as some nuts and cheese. It is also one of the main chemicals responsible for bad breath and the smell of flatus."

If you have cut back on meat, nuts, and cheese, that may explain it.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Might be the sex change hormone treatments.

[Major Robert Dump]

I eat lots of meat and nuts. Not so much CHEE, but occasionally a slice of swiss on my infidel sandwich.

Hormones:
I would not expect to exhibit the female trait of farts-never-stinking until I at least began to develop my utters and happy garden. Right now I am still in the no-facial-hair phase

[rajpoot]

There you go MRD.
Not my best work, but it'll do I think.


Edit:Thumbnail's all I can get to show.

[Major Robert Dump]

Brilliant

[stratigos vasilios]

I think I read somewhere that excess protein consumption causes more 'aromatic' flatulence...

[Cute Wolf]

eat more egg, I even know that thousand years egg do wonders for your fart

[A Nerd]

Chilli heavy on the beans? Boiled cabbage? Experiment with fart-food recipies. It might be fun.

[Hooahguy]

Try eating more fiber. After I have a lot of fiber (usually from fiber bars) I have a lot of bad gas. Thats why I avoid fiber bars nowadays.

[Cute Wolf]

Try eating more fiber. After I have a lot of fiber (usually from fiber bars) I have a lot of bad gas. Thats why I avoid fiber bars nowadays.

fiberglass bars?

[classical_hero]

Get a parasite in your body. That seems to have worked for me.

[Kagemusha]

I better start store up my farts.Life without them would be bit too bland.

[Fisherking]

Try eating salads with bean sprouts or alfalfa sprouts. If that doesn’t do it then just get used to it.