A History of Violence [Concluded]

[Askthepizzaguy]

Have the mafia been dead for days?

You WERE acting completely off, Lazy mah boy. I FOS you for being dead and suggesting this.

[Visor]

Udon;y kniow?

[Askthepizzaguy]

Udon;y kniow?

Here you go.

https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showt...nkards-tThread

Those mean sober people won't bother you annnnny more.

[Visor]

Thanks yuoul,.

[LazyMcCrow]

Drums spectral fingers against Visorslashs' clammy forehead

[Visor]

Drums spectral fingers against Visorslashs' clammy forehead

I'm fine now, writeup incoming. Probably going to take ages though. That was a fun night.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Probably going to take ages though. That was a fun night.

We're doomed.

[LazyMcCrow]

We're doomed.

I'm still expecting you to say 'Haha! I was mafiyar!'
But I guess that's just my way of postponing the apology I feel I probably owe you

[Askthepizzaguy]

I'm still expecting you to say 'Haha! I was mafiyar!'
But I guess that's just my way of postponing the apology I feel I probably owe you

You know guys, I'm one of the most talkative players with a long history of being mafia or townie.

I wonder, am I really that hard to read? Because you guys seem to get it backwards way more often than what I consider the norm. I give you plenty of information to go off of, you know where I stand on any given player for most of the game. There are games like the Campground or Trouble in Waiting where the living AND the dead are both screaming bloody murder for my head, and I'm a townie. Then I go through entire other games without much suspicion, being a dirtbag mafioso.

Do I post too much for serious analysis of my play to be done? Too much to read, so nobody wants to try to sit back and analyze it? Or do they do the analysis and it just comes up with an inaccurate result over and over?

I'm just curious, not ranting or anything.

[Visor]

There weren’t many men left in the town now. It was small to begin with, but it was almost a ghost town now. Still they continued to kill each other off, in hope that they would get lucky and end this horrible saga once and for all. After an intense period of debate, the remaining few members of the town chose LazyMcCrow and SalmonSoil to duel to the death for their freedom. They were offered three weapons each, Lazy choosing the signpost, and Salmon choosing the whip.

They were corralled into the centre of town, passing the corpse of the state troopers and Sheriff Seon. The crowd was a lot more solemn then they were the first time they had a duel and Lazy still had nightmares of his first run in with the duelling arena. He shuddered at the thought of it, and brought up his signpost ready for another battle. Salmon had a mad glint in his eyes as he cracked the whip menacingly. Without a sound he lunged at Crow, the whip snapping against the signpost, ironically a stop sign that he only just got up in time. Salmon spun round and the whip followed lashing against Crow’s right leg which led him to gasp in pain and drop to one knee. Salmon, trying to push the advantage, swung down with all his might in an attempt to break Crow, but he was expecting it, and simply rolled out of the way and smashed the sign on the whip, cutting the top part off.

Salmon growled and advanced again, this time Crow fought back, first knocking the whip out of its swing and then closing in to dig the end into Salmon’s gut. He was propelled backward and fell onto his back. Lazy went to seal the deal but Salmon would not give up. The whip struck Lazy’s face causing him to scream as the whip left scar marks, the signpost falling to the ground. Lazy dived onto the whip and began to wrestle over it with Salmon, eventually pulling it free, only to let Salmon grab the signpost.

In opposite situations this time, the murderous glint was back in Salmon’s eye. He began to grin wildly and advance once more on Lazy. He swung the whip at the ground near Salmon, causing him to flinch. Lazy looked around him and saw another weapon grouping; he began to get an idea in his head. Salmon continued his advance, undeterred. Lazy waited until he was in striking distance, and turned, flicking the whip at the weapons, pulling a mace and sword into the ring. The crowd gasped, entranced at this dance of death. Salmon threw the signpost to the ground and ran over to the sword, while Lazy picked up the mace.

With a roar, Lazy charged Salmon with his new weapon the two weapons clashed as the men traded blows, they were an even match. The fight went on for minutes that seemed like hours, as they perfectly countered each other’s blows and strikes, neither one getting an advantage over the other. Lazy broke away, back heaving hard as sweat poured down his face. Salmon was in a similar situation. Salmon was the first to recover, brandishing his sword he lunged at Lazy, who turned the thrust and elbowed Salmon in the head. Pivoting, he brought the mace on his shoulder and as Salmon dropped to the ground, Lazy knew it was over. He went to deliver the finishing blow, when he was punched in the gut by a still kicking Salmon. “It ain’t over yet boy!” the fisherman growled at him and tackled Lazy to the ground. Lazy struggled to hold Salmon back and the mace fell to the ground in the struggle. Lazy bit Salmon’s ear, leading him to scream and using this; he pushed Salmon off of him, and grabbed his mace. Screaming incoherently, Lazy swung the mace at Salmon again, connecting with his head and he fell to the ground. Still screaming, he swung again and again until Salmon’s head began to separate from his body. Suddenly realising it was over, Lazy sat down.

The retired cop, DaveShack, sighed,” Well, we’ll see you in the morning then fellas. Terrible stuff this.”

[Visor]

After the duel LazyMcCrow was not done yet. He was going to find the killer and put an end to this once and for all. Snooping about former detective Kage’s house, he found a revolver with three bullets in it. “You’re a tough nut Lazy, hard to crack.” A voice said behind him. Lazy felt suddenly cold and shuddered. “Let me go. I want to get out of here and never come back.” He replied to the voice.

“I would, you’re a brave man, but I’m afraid I can’t take the risk.” The voice said, it sounded like he was getting closer to Lazy.

Lazy swallowed, and ran, not looking back, which was a mistake, because he had no idea where the voice was coming from. He turned a street corner, and found himself on the ground, an outstretched arm in front of him. Seeing stars, he instinctively rolled out of the way, as a boot came crushing down where his head was a second earlier. He scrambled to his feet, and ran as fast as he could, trying to head out of town. He heard footsteps behind him and forced himself to run faster, the sheer terror of his situation fuelled him.

He kept running and running, unaware that there was no longer any footsteps behind him, shuddering, out of breath, he looked around, and heard nothing. He was out of the town, he was not dead, the only person to escape successfully. He thought about his friends in the town, but he realised that if he went back, he would be killed. He felt terrible, but he began the long walk out of the town, reflecting on the past events and thinking of what he would do with himself. He hoped he could hitch a ride before it got too dark.

He heard a car coming from the intersection near the town. What luck this was! Finally, he would be free from this nightmare! But as the car approached him, a darker thought appeared. Maybe this wasn’t a rescuer, maybe this wasn’t a civilian. Maybe this was the killer. The thought took control of Lazy and as the car began to slow as it approached him, Lazy knew that he was in trouble. Sprinting, he ran down the side of the road, the whole area was plain flat ground for miles around and he had nowhere to hide so he would run, run for his life.

He forgot however, about the revolver he had stolen. And as the care came closer and closer, he put his hands in his pockets for something to use, and pulled out the revolver. The car came to a shrieking stop as the lights engulfed Lazy. He fired, hitting the front tire, the second shot hitting the other front tire. He began to run again, hoping he could get away from this mad man. The door opened and shots spewed out of a gun at Lazy. He felt a bullet hit him in the leg, and he screamed in pain and fell to the ground as blood began to pour out of the wound.

“You’ve got one last shot, McCrow, you might want to use it on yourself to save me the trouble. It’s a long way until the next town.”

“ you mother” Lazy screamed, brandishing the revolver.

“Good luck then, because you will be dead by tomorrow.” The man laughed and walked back to his car, grabbing some equipment, and began to walk back to the town. Lazy stayed there, until he couldn’t hear anymore footsteps. Dragging his leg, he managed to get into an upright position. He began to hobble, whimpering quietly down the road. The sheriff was probably right, he would be dead, and he would have lost a lot of blood. He looked at the gun. Not yet. Not just yet. You don’t give up this easily Lazy. He stumbled on.

The town woke up, and found Lazy missing. DaveShack shook his head, and organised the voting procedure once again, this time for the final time.

[LazyMcCrow]

After the duel LazyMcCrow was not done yet. He was going to find the killer and put an end to this once and for all. Snooping about former detective Kage’s house, he found a revolver with three bullets in it. “You’re a tough nut Lazy, hard to crack.” A voice said behind him. Lazy felt suddenly cold and shuddered. “Let me go. I want to get out of here and never come back.” He replied to the voice.

“I would, you’re a brave man, but I’m afraid I can’t take the risk.” The voice said, it sounded like he was getting closer to Lazy.

Lazy swallowed, and ran, not looking back, which was a mistake, because he had no idea where the voice was coming from. He turned a street corner, and found himself on the ground, an outstretched arm in front of him. Seeing stars, he instinctively rolled out of the way, as a boot came crushing down where his head was a second earlier. He scrambled to his feet, and ran as fast as he could, trying to head out of town. He heard footsteps behind him and forced himself to run faster, the sheer terror of his situation fuelled him.

He kept running and running, unaware that there was no longer any footsteps behind him, shuddering, out of breath, he looked around, and heard nothing. He was out of the town, he was not dead, the only person to escape successfully. He thought about his friends in the town, but he realised that if he went back, he would be killed. He felt terrible, but he began the long walk out of the town, reflecting on the past events and thinking of what he would do with himself. He hoped he could hitch a ride before it got too dark.

He heard a car coming from the intersection near the town. What luck this was! Finally, he would be free from this nightmare! But as the car approached him, a darker thought appeared. Maybe this wasn’t a rescuer, maybe this wasn’t a civilian. Maybe this was the killer. The thought took control of Lazy and as the car began to slow as it approached him, Lazy knew that he was in trouble. Sprinting, he ran down the side of the road, the whole area was plain flat ground for miles around and he had nowhere to hide so he would run, run for his life.

He forgot however, about the revolver he had stolen. And as the care came closer and closer, he put his hands in his pockets for something to use, and pulled out the revolver. The car came to a shrieking stop as the lights engulfed Lazy. He fired, hitting the front tire, the second shot hitting the other front tire. He began to run again, hoping he could get away from this mad man. The door opened and shots spewed out of a gun at Lazy. He felt a bullet hit him in the leg, and he screamed in pain and fell to the ground as blood began to pour out of the wound.

“You’ve got one last shot, McCrow, you might want to use it on yourself to save me the trouble. It’s a long way until the next town.”

“ you mother” Lazy screamed, brandishing the revolver.

“Good luck then, because you will be dead by tomorrow.” The man laughed and walked back to his car, grabbing some equipment, and began to walk back to the town. Lazy stayed there, until he couldn’t hear anymore footsteps. Dragging his leg, he managed to get into an upright position. He began to hobble, whimpering quietly down the road. The sheriff was probably right, he would be dead, and he would have lost a lot of blood. He looked at the gun. Not yet. Not just yet. You don’t give up this easily Lazy. He stumbled on.

The town woke up, and found Lazy missing. DaveShack shook his head, and organised the voting procedure once again, this time for the final time.

Well played Shirriff Daveshack

[Visor]

Sheriff is Seon, read the above writeup.

Also:

It was a long day. The final three inhabitants of the town gathered and discussed until dark. Jarrema was particularly focused on ATPG; he knew that it must be this man, while both ATPG and DaveShack were certain of Jarrema’s guilt. Jarrema was about to start to point out the flaws in ATPG’s logic, when DaveShack brought the butt of his gun onto Jarrema’s kneecap and ATPG punched Jarrema into the face. He fell to the ground unconscious. DaveShack nodded to ATPG, who began to drag Jarrema’s body to the podium and tied him around one of the supporting poles. “Let’s get to work.”

DaveShack and ATPG worked all day on the gallows to hang Jarrema. The former workshop of BSmith was not empty and no-one was around to talk. It was deathly quiet except for the buzz of the work tools. They didn’t say a word to each other, knowing that this was the only way they could end this. In the end, they assembled the gallows in front of Jarrema, who had woken up by then, a red bulge on knee. “DaveShack, you fool! It’s ATPG, he’s playing you. You’re wrong, wake up to yourself!”

DaveShack looked at Jarrema and shook his head sadly. They knocked Jarrema out again and they hung the rope around his neck. As they waited in silence for Jarrema to wake up, the sun began to set on the town. DaveShack had a nagging fear in his mind about ATPG, but he didn’t believe that it could be him. ATPG was glad this was all over. He had tried so hard to destroy this menace, and now he had finally done it.

Jarrema woke. “You bastards!” were the last words he spoke, as DaveShack pulled the lever to reveal the ground below. Jarrema starting choking, the initial drop hadn’t killed him. He struggled to get out of the rope, but they had done it too tight, and his hands were tied together. His eyes bulged as the rope choked the life out of him. He lasted a few minutes, until eventually, silence was heard again. A bird crowed as Jarrema breathed his last.

“Well, we’ll find out whether we were right in the morning, won’t we?” DaveShack said to ATPG, with a piercing glint in his eyes. ATPG nodded, and the two made their separate ways.

[Montmorency]

You lie!

There is no sheriff...

[Visor]

There are:



until the final writeup.

[LazyMcCrow]

*...dies in a field, somewhere on the edge of town....*

[Nightbringer]

There are:



until the final writeup.

*Starts crying because the wait is so long. :)

[SalmonSoil]

I tried to whip Lazy into shape for that confrontation with the scum, but alas, he put a stop to that.

[Jarema]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

cant wait

[Visor]

Interlude:

The night was quiet, not a sound to be heard. The breeze from the river blew in over the town, mixed with sickly sweet smell of death. This was no longer a town.

Silence reigned.

Then, a gunshot.

[Visor]

The Final Morning

DaveShack was up early. He couldn't sleep. He sat near the river, skipping stones across it, but never reaching the other side. He was never very good at it, even as a child, but it was one of his favourite pasttimes. He wondered what he would do now. He couldn't stay here. Too many bad memories. And they would suspect any survivers of the killings anyway. He was glad that the Sheriff, Seon was dead. He was a murderous bastard. He shook his head in remembrance, there was no need to think of that. It was time to move on, to greener pastures, with a little less violence. He would miss his friends, but ultimately, he had no friends left.

DaveShack stood up and stretched. It was time.

He walked into town, and found Askthepizzaguy sleeping on the floor of the bar. Shaking him, he woke him up.

"It's been a long week, and we finally caught the killers. How about a drink to celebrate?"

Dave offered his hand, and Askthepizzaguy looked at it warily for a moment, before accepting it.

"Have a round on the house, I don't think anyone minds." Dave smiled.

Askthepizzaguy grinned back. "Thank god its over."

"Did you hear the gunshot last night?"

"Yeah, must've been a hunter or something because we're both still alive."

"Doesn't matter anyway, drink up, it's time to celebrate our lives, and move on!"

Alive 2/17:
9. DaveShack
12. Askthepizzaguy

Dead 15/17:
5. Monty: Lynched Day 1
15. Lewwyn: Killed Night 1
14. Splitpersonality: Lynched Day 2
10. Tuuvi: Killed Night 2
3. Riedquat: Lynched Day 3
13. White_Eyes:D: Killed Night 3
11. Kagemusha: Lynched Day 4
6. Atheotes: Killed Night 4
17. Seon: Lynched Day 5
7. Nightbringer: Killed Night 5
4. Arjos: Lynched Day 6
16. BSmith: Killed Night 6
1. SalmonSoil: Lynched Day 7
2. LazyMcCrow: Killed Night 7
8. Jarrema: Lynched Day 8

TOWN VICTORY

Good job Town.

[BSmith]

That's a pretty awesome bookend. First and last lynch!

[Montmorency]

But I wasn't a Sergeant!

Nooo!

[Montmorency]

Something's wrong here.

Things are not as they appear.

Visor is wrong! He's lying!

[Arjos]

lol so Monty is really up for a record as mafia lynched on D1 :P

GG folks :D

[Nightbringer]

lol!
That explains monty's wackiness during the game I guess. GG all!

[LazyMcCrow]

Well played town - and Jarema :)

[Askthepizzaguy]

Oh snap, Seon wasn't guilty after all.



But hey, I got to lynch both mafiosi, being first on both wagons, and survived the game. This is pretty sweet.

My question is, why didn't you scumbags murder me when I lynched Monty on day freaking one? That's a mystery for the ages.

[Visor]

"So Pizzaguy, I had a thought." said DaveShack. "If we had been forced to fight someone, do you think we would still be alive?"

Askthepizzaguy put his drink down for a moment, considering what Dave said. If either one of them had been forced into a battle to the death, it's possible that neither one of them would still be alive to tell the tale. But Askthepizzaguy wasn't so sure he would have lost either. "I think I would have won. I'm pretty sure that I could have taken any one of them." DaveShack raised an eyebrow. "Curious, what makes you so confident?"

Askthepizzaguy raised his glass and took a long swig. "I have what you might call... a History of Violence."

DaveShack said nothing.

"What about yourself, DaveShack? Do you think you could have taken me down?" Pizza said, without looking in his direction. DaveShack suddenly felt very alone, and reached for a weapon to defend himself but could find none.

"How about we settle things like men. I propose a drinking contest... the last man standing is the victor. Allow me to pour us some wine."

Askthepizzaguy took a very old bottle of wine from behind the counter, uncorked it, and began to pour into a pair of glasses.

"So, it is down to you, and it is down to me. And we are at an impasse. I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains. Let me put it this way, have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons. Now, I'll drink from my glass, and you, from yours." said Askthepizzaguy.

"No, you've put poison in the wine, and you're going to make me drink it." said DaveShack.

"All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead." said Askthepizzaguy.

"But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me." said DaveShack.

"You've made your decision then?" said Askthepizzaguy.

"Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you." said DaveShack.

"Truly, you have a dizzying intellect." said Askthepizzaguy.

"And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me." said DaveShack.

"You're just stalling now." said Askthepizzaguy.

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my Sheriff, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested SalmonSoil, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is not a fish nor does he live underground, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me." said DaveShack.

"You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work." said Askthepizzaguy.

"IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!" said DaveShack.

"Then make your choice." said Askthepizzaguy.

"I will, and I choose to simply battle you to the death! Prepare to die, Askthepizzaguy!" DaveShack shouted ferociously, as he smashed the bottle of wine and prepared to use it as a weapon.

As he rushed from his bar stool, something fell out of his pocket, a small glass vial of clear liquid. It landed on the floor of the tavern and shattered, spilling its contents everywhere.

"Oh no! My insulin!" bemoaned DaveShack.

With a shrug, DaveShack continued to stagger forward, preparing to hack Askthepizzaguy to bits. Askthepizzaguy just sat calmly in his chair, sipping his wine.

"I will MURDER YOU with VIOLENCE, Pizza face! Murder you until you DIE! And then murder you some... more..." panted DaveShack, as his hands began to shake.

"Are you sure you don't want any wine? It's FANTASTIC wine." said Askthepizzaguy.

"No... no.... I've.... got.... to..... kill...... you.... first...." said Dave, as he began to stumble. He fell to the floor and began crawling towards Pizza. Everything started getting hazy.

DaveShack collapsed inches away from Pizzaguy's feet, still wielding the broken wine bottle. "Must... have... sugar..." said DaveShack.

"I sense that you have diabetes for the purposes of this writeup," began Askthepizzaguy. "And having sensed that, I knew that in order to kill you, I would have to offer you something you desperately needed to stay alive, which is a sugary drink. Knowing that you wouldn't trust me, having seen what happened to all of your compatriots, I also knew that you would refuse my generous offer of wine.

It's delicious wine, by the way, this wine in front of me. It's wine that could have been in front of you, but no, you refused to imbibe the precious, life-saving wine.

And now I am certain that you regret your decision, but I'm afraid there's nothing more I can do for you, having offered you the wine politely, and you declined to accept, it would be rude of me to ask again. That's just bad manners, mister DaveShack. I'm afraid I have to find another lawyer now, but in the meantime, I encourage you to think long and hard about the wine in front of me, with the time that you have remaining and still alive."

"Screw you... Pizza.... you will rue.... rue this day, I swear... it...."

"Yes, of course I will. And I will be promptly lynched as a townie for several games, and then you will allow me to survive the next time I am mafia. I know. I know. But in the meantime, have a nice drink, on me.... or more appropriately, on you."

Askthepizzaguy poured out a full bottle of very expensive, very hard alcohol all over DaveShack, and prepared his victory cigar.

"Smoke before fire." said Pizzaguy, smugly.

"No.... you unimaginable bastard!" sputtered DaveShack.

"Imagine it, baby."

Askthepizzaguy enjoyed a few long puffs of his victory cigar, and then offered it to his fallen friend, the best way he knew how, by dipping the lit end in the alcohol soaking his clothing.

"I don't mind if you smoke in a bar, by the way. In fact, I prefer it. And now, allow me to play one last song, for the road."

Askthepizzaguy plugged in his stereo and popped in a CD, as DaveShack began screaming in agony.

Alive 1/17:
12. Askthepizzaguy

Dead 15/17:
5. Monty: Lynched Day 1
15. Lewwyn: Killed Night 1
14. Splitpersonality: Lynched Day 2
10. Tuuvi: Killed Night 2
3. Riedquat: Lynched Day 3
13. White_Eyes:D: Killed Night 3
11. Kagemusha: Lynched Day 4
6. Atheotes: Killed Night 4
17. Seon: Lynched Day 5
7. Nightbringer: Killed Night 5
4. Arjos: Lynched Day 6
16. BSmith: Killed Night 6
1. SalmonSoil: Lynched Day 7
2. LazyMcCrow: Killed Night 7
8. Jarrema: Lynched Day 8
9. DaveShack: Killed Night 8

MAFIA VICTORY

[Visor]

http://www.quicktopic.com/47/H/y8cBkctLDEb

Mafia QT. If I insulted you, I am sorry.

Epilogue to come tomorrow, ATPG wanted me to post this early.