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Thread: Why did the Chicken Cross the Road

  1. #1
    Feeding the Peanut Gallery Senior Member Redleg's Avatar
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    Why did the chicken cross the road?


    GEORGE W BUSH
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
    if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either
    against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
    the chicken crossing the road.

    HANS BLIX
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it

    RALPH NADER
    The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by
    unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat

    on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a
    gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN
    To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH
    I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
    a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there
    is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
    syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
    take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I
    say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
    from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

    MARTHA STEWART
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
    dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.


    JERRY FALWELL
    Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the

    plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
    side." That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that
    chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say
    we Boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
    media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."


    DR SEUSS
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
    chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY
    To die in the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
    having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us
    the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it

    experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life
    long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

    ARISTOTLE
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX
    It was an historic inevitability.

    RONALD REAGAN
    What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK
    To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

    SIGMUND FREUD
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
    reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES
    I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but
    will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook
    and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    BILL CLINTON
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    chicken?

    AL GORE
    I invented the chicken

    THE BIBLE

    And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT
    CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much
    rejoicing.



    COLONEL SANDERS
    Did I miss one?
    O well, seems like 'some' people decide to ruin a perfectly valid threat. Nice going guys... doc bean

  2. #2
    Humanist Senior Member A.Saturnus's Avatar
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    RICHARD NIXON
    The chicken DID NOT cross the road. I repeat: the chicken did not cross the road.

    MACHIAVELLI
    It doesn´t matter why. The fact that it did it, justifies all reasons.

  3. #3
    Tovenaar Senior Member The Wizard's Avatar
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    Omg, that was so funny, especially nearing the end

    JULIUS CAESAR
    The chicken came, saw and crossed the road.
    "It ain't where you're from / it's where you're at."

    Eric B. & Rakim, I Know You Got Soul

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    Ceasar Member octavian's Avatar
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    rofl

    me
    i dont give sh*t why it crossed the road
    60+ new units – including the mighty Indian War Elephants, Persian immortals and Indian naked female archers.

  5. #5
    Humanist Senior Member A.Saturnus's Avatar
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    MARTIN LUTHER KING
    I have a dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without anyone questioning their intentions

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    (Insert innuendo here) Member Balloon Bomber Champion DemonArchangel's Avatar
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    DemonArchangel:
    The Chicken crossed the road to buy a gun to defend itself from conservatives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat View Post
    China is not a world power. China is the world, and it's surrounded by a ring of tiny and short-lived civilisations like the Americas, Europeans, Mongols, Moghuls, Indians, Franks, Romans, Japanese, Koreans.

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    Resident Spammer Member son of spam's Avatar
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    Heisenberg:

    The chicken must have crossed the road at this point, but we cannot know how fast it crossed it.

    Descartes:

    The chicken crossed the road, therefore it is.


    Excuse me, my brain has been permenantly fried by reading too many popular physics/math books

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    Unpatched Member hrvojej's Avatar
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    CHARLES DARWIN

    The chicken crossed the road because it was better suited to do so than many other similar chickens. This is demonstrated by numerous splats found on the asphalt, and a live chicken on the other side.
    Some people get by with a little understanding
    Some people get by with a whole lot more - A. Eldritch

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    Destroyer of Gauls Member bighairyman's Avatar
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    No poor bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making other bastards dying for their country.

    The draft is white people sending black people to fight yellow people to protect the country they stole from red people.

    why would anybody want to touch a girl's butt? Bart Sim

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    Feeding the Peanut Gallery Senior Member Redleg's Avatar
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    Glad to see some of you enjoyed it.

    O well, seems like 'some' people decide to ruin a perfectly valid threat. Nice going guys... doc bean

  11. #11

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    Nietzsche:

    "The Chicken is dead"
    Common Unreflected Drinking Only Smartens

  12. #12

    Default

    The Rush Limbaugh one was the best. I reading it, but hearing his voice saying it
    "I request permanent reassignment to the Gallic frontier. Nay, I demand reassignment. Perhaps it is improper to say so, but I refuse to fight against the Greeks or Macedonians any more. Give my command to another, for I cannot, I will not, lead an army into battle against a civilized nation so long as the Gauls survive. I am not the young man I once was, but I swear before Jupiter Optimus Maximus that I shall see a world without Gauls before I take my final breath."

    Senator Augustus Verginius

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    Pinko Member _Martyr_'s Avatar
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    Napoleon Bonaparte

    "Never interrupt a chicken when he is making a mistake."
    Eppur si muove







  14. #14
    Senior Member Senior Member ElmarkOFear's Avatar
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    Talking

    Elmo Knows Why The Chicken Crossed The Road:

    He crossed the road because: "The Tavern" was on this side of the road, and he was tired of everyone accusing him of being a chicken liberal (little) or a (cock)-eyed conservative

    Unfortunately he died: Which proves that he was a Middle-Of-The-Road moderate





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    Member Member Skomatth's Avatar
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    Sjak made me think....

    Sartre-
    "Because he wanted all chicken kind to cross the road."

    Kierkegaard-
    "He recognized the reality of choosing to cross the road."
    Take off your pants, baby. -Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

  16. #16
    Things Change Member JAG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (_Martyr_ @ May 09 2004,22:26)]Napoleon Bonaparte

    "Never interrupt a chicken when he is making a mistake."
    Or "Not tonight Chicken"
    GARCIN: I "dreamt," you say. It was no dream. When I chose the hardest path, I made my choice deliberately. A man is what he wills himself to be.
    INEZ: Prove it. Prove it was no dream. It's what one does, and nothing else, that shows the stuff one's made of.
    GARCIN: I died too soon. I wasn't allowed time to - to do my deeds.
    INEZ: One always dies too soon - or too late. And yet one's whole life is complete at that moment, with a line drawn neatly under it, ready for the summing up. You are - your life, and nothing else.

    Jean Paul Sartre - No Exit 1944

  17. #17
    Things Change Member JAG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (Skomatth @ May 10 2004,03:10)]Sartre-
    "Because he wanted all chicken kind to cross the road."
    "Because he was free to choose and decided to cross the road"
    GARCIN: I "dreamt," you say. It was no dream. When I chose the hardest path, I made my choice deliberately. A man is what he wills himself to be.
    INEZ: Prove it. Prove it was no dream. It's what one does, and nothing else, that shows the stuff one's made of.
    GARCIN: I died too soon. I wasn't allowed time to - to do my deeds.
    INEZ: One always dies too soon - or too late. And yet one's whole life is complete at that moment, with a line drawn neatly under it, ready for the summing up. You are - your life, and nothing else.

    Jean Paul Sartre - No Exit 1944

  18. #18
    Humanist Senior Member A.Saturnus's Avatar
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    AGENT SMITH:

    It was inevitable

  19. #19
    Tovenaar Senior Member The Wizard's Avatar
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    THE BUDDHA:
    The chicken crossed the road because he wanted to extinguish himself on the other side.
    "It ain't where you're from / it's where you're at."

    Eric B. & Rakim, I Know You Got Soul

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    Tree Killer Senior Member Beirut's Avatar
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    Son of Spam,

    Love the Heisenberg. Just excellent.
    Unto each good man a good dog

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    Scandinavian and loving it Member Lazul's Avatar
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    Ernesto Che Guevara

    The Imperialist-Facists forced the chicken to do it, we must unite and fight for the Chickens right to stand on the other side of the road if it so wants to
    www.overspun.com

    "Freedom without opportunity is a devil's gift."
    --Noam Chomsky

  22. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (A.Saturnus @ May 09 2004,06:31)]MARTIN LUTHER KING
    I have a dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without anyone questioning their intentions
    Urm....let me improvise that...

    MARTIN LUTHER KING

    Seven and a half scores ago( or in the begining), there goes a story of "chicken run" whereby all chickens escape to their freedom regardless they are white,brown or black chicken..... I have a dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without anyone questioning their intentions


    A Member of Clan SG


    "水无常形,兵无常势"

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    Member Member Malcolm Big Head's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (son of spam @ May 08 2004,20:22)]Heisenberg:

    The chicken must have crossed the road at this point, but we cannot know how fast it crossed it.
    Yes because if we knew the speed it crossed we could never really tell if it had indeed crossed the road.
    Do unto others before they do unto you.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Senior Member ElmarkOFear's Avatar
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    Hilary Clinton

    "Because that slimey chubby bit%#, in the blue dress, was over there?"
    I have seen the future of TW MP and it is XBox Live!

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    Senior Member Senior Member ElmarkOFear's Avatar
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    Redneck KKK Member

    "He "Crossed" the road because he heard it was "Black" top."

    Must have had too much white meat on his bones

    I have seen the future of TW MP and it is XBox Live!

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    Senior Member Senior Member Kraellin's Avatar
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    elmo is hereby banned *groan*

    ;)

    K.

  27. #27
    Senior Member Senior Member ElmarkOFear's Avatar
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    Woohoooo banned for bad jokes :) I am the Rodney Dangerfield of the Tavern hehe
    I have seen the future of TW MP and it is XBox Live!

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    Senior Member Senior Member gaelic cowboy's Avatar
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    George Bernard Shaw

    Crossing the road is the only way in which a chicken can become famous without ability.

    because Chickens adore me and will go on crossing roads until I say something nice about them.


    Oscar Wilde

    I am not young enough to know why the chicken crossed the road

    Well one of us has to go across the road

    William butler yeats

    Cast a cold eye on life on death chickens cross the road

    Our own chicken's are isolated and one chicken does not cross the road for another

    Daniel day lewis

    I suppose I have a highly developed capacity for self-delusion, so it's no problem for me to believe a chicken crossed the road.
    They slew him with poison afaid to meet him with the steel
    a gallant son of eireann was Owen Roe o'Neill.

    Internet is a bad place for info Gaelic Cowboy

  29. #29
    1000 post member club Member Quid's Avatar
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    Fjodor Michailowitsch Dostojewski:

    The idiot

    Quid
    ...for it is revenge I seek...


    Cry Havoc and let slip the dogs of war
    Juleus Ceasar, Shakespear

  30. #30
    Member Member Lord Ovaat's Avatar
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    Stephen Crane

    The chicken had come to face the great road, and found that after all, it was but the great road.
    Our greatest glory lies not in never having fallen, but in rising every time we fall. Oliver Goldsmith

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