This article was in the July 4th edition of the New yorker, it is well worht the read. It's sub-title is: A soldier's father wrestles with the ambiguities of Iraq.
One must admit, Iraq is one big butt of an ambiguity.
http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/050704fa_fact3
Read it, read 'til you hit the point you must respond to justify your possistion, scan it, blow thru it, but read atleast the first and part of the middle and end to understand what it is about.
Basically, it is a father asking to believe that his son didnot die invain. But, it is much more than that simple quandry of self emotion. It is a submittal of one man's soul - his essence (which he lost when he lost his son).
If nothing else read to the account of the unit memorial ceremony (service) -and try to remember this is about a father's love for his son (and visave). It isn't a policy statement, it is about the reality of losing a loved one in an unwinnable war.
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