We’ll have a gay old time

[Gawain of Orkeny]

We’ll have a gay old time
Mike S. Adams (archive)

July 25, 2005 | printer friendly version Print | email to a friend Recommend to a friend

Dear Professor Flintstone (pseudonym):

Thanks so much for your letter expressing concern over UNC-Wilmington’s new harassment policy, which reads as follows:

Harassment is unwelcome conduct based on race, color, religion, creed, sex, national origin, age, disability, veteran status or sexual orientation that is either a condition of working or learning (“quid pro quo”) or creates a hostile environment. (see www.uncw.edu for more details).

I also thank you for asking the following questions about the new harassment definition:

1. Does rolling your eyes when someone says something stupid constitute harassment?

2. How would anyone know what eye-rolling was based on?

It’s a good thing you asked me those questions since a recent memo from the administration gave us the following warning: “The university expects all employees to learn what behaviors constitute harassment, to be responsible for their own behavior, and to cooperate in creating an environment in which harassment is not tolerated.”

The answer to your first question is “yes,” provided that the person at whom you rolled your eyes happened to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans-gendered, queer-identified, black, or a card-carrying member of the National Organization of Women. All other individuals are considered to be capable of fending for themselves. That policy exists in order to ensure equality.

The answer to your second question is more difficult. Technically, one can never “know” anything because the university does not endorse the belief that there is an external reality independent of one’s feelings.
Therefore, if the university feels like the offensive eye-rolling was based on any of the above factors you will be presumed guilty (unless you are able to prove yourself innocent without the help of an attorney or any other form of due process). This is the current practice because so many UNC administrators want to live in a country just like the former Soviet Union.

If you think my responses to your questions were made in jest, consider the following:

1. A Vagina Warrior (a co-ed who starred in the Vagina Monologues) wrote me an offensive e-mail talking about her “vagina.” The university did not declare that to be an example of harassment.

2. Another student put a sign on my door calling me an “a**hole” and said I shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce. She also put condoms in my mailbox. The university did not declare that to be an example of harassment.

3. A feminist in my department filed a false claim of harassment against her boss. Then she falsely accused him of a felony. The university did not declare those acts to be examples of harassment. When I pointed out the injustice of not punishing a false harassment claim, the fibbing feminist said I was then sexually harassing her (by talking about her false claims outside of the workplace). I swear I’m not making this up.

Aside from the real cases, we can also imagine some interesting hypothetical cases that may come to pass under the new policy (which reads more like a N.O.W. policy). For example, consider the fact that some UNCW feminists are now encouraging the use of the word c**t as a term of endearment. That’s okay if the person using the c-word is a feminist. But what if some silly man thinks he can also use the term?

Will that be sexual harassment? Will it create a hostile environment if he simply follows the advice of these fickle feminists?

This whole emphasis on preventing a “hostile environment” is simply the latest political ploy by the intolerant and power-hungry feminists that have recently infiltrated the UNC-Wilmington administration. Fortunately (for you), most of these feminists are too emotionally involved in this issue to cause as much harm as they intend to cause. And, fortunately, most of them are not very bright.

So what shall we do about this troubling new policy? As you might imagine, I believe I have a plan.

At a university diversity workshop, I once learned that some people can change sexual orientations several times during a lifetime. In fact, one transvestite said that he was a she three times a week and she was a he twice a week. I don’t know what she/he did about weekends.

Therefore, I want you to become gay for just a little while. This can be accomplished by simply telling yourself that you feel gay. You might also want to tell one other person, just for safe measure.

After you become gay (temporarily), I will send you an email (over the university system) with Leviticus 18:22 attached to the signature. You can then forward it to the administration just before you file a “hostile environment” complaint against me on the basis of your new sexual orientation.

Next, I will file a complaint against you, which says that you also created a hostile environment for me on the basis of religion (simply by filing your complaint). I predict that the leftists in the administration will ignore my complaint and call a hearing to judge the merits of yours. At that point, the university will be guilty of religious discrimination for playing favorites.

After I contact my legal network and file a lawsuit against UNC-Wilmington in federal court, you may safely resume your life as a white male (and most notably) heterosexual Christian Republican gun owner. And don’t worry about being accused of filing a frivolous complaint. The university probably allows gay people to do that. They certainly don’t mind when feminists file false complaints.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is not to worry. This administration is even more arrogant and Orwellian than ever. I think this year is going to be a lot of fun.

Mike S. Adams (www.DrAdams.org) buys most of his cigars directly from www.BrookelynnCigars.com, which is based in Wilmington, NC. That really has nothing to do with the present column.

But of course theres no more liberal bias at college than there is in the mainstream media.

[Blodrast]

hehe, that was really funny.
and sad, too, of course. 'cause it's likely not far from the truth...

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

Adams is always good for a laugh, or at least a snicker. Kind of like Coulter, except:

He doesn't have the same audience
He only writes about college stuff (and occasionally hunting rifles)
He's probably more intelligent

[PanzerJaeger]

That would be hilarious if it wasnt so true..

I was interested in politics during college - was even going to minor in PS, but I couldnt stand the extreme left wing environment. I had been told to expect this and I was prepared to be taught by liberals and all that mess, but the level in which these "professors" went beyond the stated topic of the classes to try and push their own opinions disgusted me. What does ancient political thought have to do with the Iraq war?

I have to say though, being a tenured college professor has to be the best job in the world. It really doesnt matter what you say or do..

[Azi Tohak]

Thank God all my female classmates had a sense of humor. They could have gotten all of us guys kicked out...

But this is just sad.

Azi

[Byzantine Prince]

Those liberal fascists make me sick. They want us all to treat eachother preferentially acording to skin color, mental condition, sex, or sexual orientation. How the hell does one go about doing this, and more importantly how does the victim prove something like has hapened. How do you prove someone rolled their eyes on you, short of carrying a camera in your hat all the time?

[Azi Tohak]

That is the fun part. You don't need to prove a damned thing. The accusation and media hyperbole is enough to get anything and everything you want.

Azi

[Gawain of Orkeny]

I thank god that all the chicks I know have a sense of humour. It's a bad sign of the times when a man can't make jokes about chicks (Why do women have boobs? So you have something to look at when talking to em!),

I like the one about why do women have legs better. Kinda gross though.

[Azi Tohak]

Oooo...do tell! Do tell!

Azi

[Gawain of Orkeny]

Why do women have legs? Otherwise they would leave a trail like a slug.

[Azi Tohak]

You're right...



Azi

[King of Atlantis]

It's like this so-called Civil Rights BS these days. You can't make black jokes, but Chris Rock and Dave Chappele can make fun of whites all day long.

you cab make a black joke. Movies are filled with them. There are many more black jokes than white jokes and i know many black people that find them funny just as white people should think good white jokes are funny.

[Gawain of Orkeny]

you cab make a black joke. Movies are filled with them. There are many more black jokes than white jokes and i know many black people that find them funny just as white people should think good white jokes are funny.

Only if made by black people. If you watch black comedians though many make fun of white people. Now Richard Pryor was good at it and he made fun of everyone. But if a white person makes a black joke hes a racist.

[Ja'chyra]

It's funny because it's true.

I've been thinking about joing the Racial Equality Board and the Gay, Lesbian and Transexual Board at work, let's see them get unanimous votes then

Our Union also has a Womans Advisory Committee even though the Chairman and Vice-Chair are both woman?????? I didn't see them advertising a Mens Advisory Committee.

[The Stranger]

cuz gay, lesbians, black feminists and transexuals cant fend for theirselves>>>/?????

what the 8-) are you guys saying that is true..............i'm asking it before i'm going crazy.

[Al Khalifah]

The sad thing is that in the majority of cases its not the black, female, gay, lesbian, disabled, asian, indian, mexican..... person who actually takes offense at most of these remarks or actions. It tends to be the rent-a-mobs who fight for any cause regardless of whether or not it affects them in the slightest because they haven't got anything worthwhile in their own meaningless little lives.

Or so I think.

[The Stranger]

Only if made by black people. If you watch black comedians though many make fun of white people. Now Richard Pryor was good at it and he made fun of everyone. But if a white person makes a black joke hes a racist.

maybe in america but not everywhere,,,if the joke had the intent to hurt people like saying black people are gorillas that can talk, thats not funny but it does hurt people, if a white man or anyone else make a joke that is funny nobody cares.

but there is a bit of trueth(sp) in your statement, i cant deny it

[TonyJ]

Why do women have legs? Otherwise they would leave a trail like a slug.

And there was me thinking it was so they could walk from the kitchen to the bedroom

[Kaiser of Arabia]

Ah, first day of collage I'll wear a Straight Pride shirt, KKK hat, and a wifebeater under the shirt.
See how long till I'm thrown out.

[Al Khalifah]

a Straight Pride shirt

I want one of those to wear. Naturally, it would have to be completely out of fashion and a poor choice of colour that clashed totally with everything else I was wearing.

I'm pretty sure they couldn't force you to remove it.

[Gawain of Orkeny]

Im sure they could. The question is would that be legal. The answer to that is probably no.

Heres a few stories on the matter

“While the sentiment behind the ‘Straight Pride’ message appears to be one of intolerance,” wrote the judge, “the responsibility remains with the school and its community to maintain an environment open to diversity and to educate and support its students as they confront ideas different from their own.”

Is ensuring “an environment open to diversity” sometimes messy or offensive? Of course it is. That’s what freedom is all about. Most Americans wouldn’t have it any other way.

Related

School relents on teen's anti-abortion sweatshirt
After threat of legal action, Newport News, Va., high school says Daniel Goergen can wear sweatshirt that says, 'Abortion is homicide.' 03.23.04

Ban on pink T-shirts has students, TV host seeing red
Ryan Seacrest of 'American Idol' declares it 'Think Pink Week,' while middle schoolers plan to don color in protest after principal pulls six boys from class photo. 03.25.04

N.C. school drops ban on Confederate-flag T-shirts
Superintendent says restriction — which had been expanded to include shirts with messages referring to free expression — has overshadowed learning. 03.30.04

Virginia students rally 'round Confederate flag
Parents, children protest policies that bar wearing of rebel symbol to schools; Campbell County school officials suspend 15 students. 04.11.04

Student sues over suspension for wearing anti-gay shirt
Federal suit claims California school punished Tyler Chase Harper for expressing his 'sincerely held religious beliefs.' 06.04.04

Court sides with school on student's T-shirt
But in ruling school had right to make student cover images of drugs and booze, judge also says words are protected and that disciplinary action should be removed from student's record. 12.28.04

Anti-abortion T-shirts at center of school arguments
Sisters' shirts in Des Moines high school prompt initial demand for removal, followed by permission to wear them; 5th-grader in Knoxville sent home. 05.02.05

Link

[Kaiser of Arabia]

Im sure they could. The question is would that be legal. The answer to that is probably no.

Heres a few stories on the matter



Link

They'd have to pull it off my cold, dead body, or they'd have to be content with my usual "Go [] a monkey, Guevera!"

[Ronin]

They'd have to pull it off my cold, dead body, or they'd have to be content with my usual "Go [] a monkey, Guevera!"

you´ll find it´s much more easy to piss people off when you get the name´s of their idols right.....
or else you just look silly really

[Kaiser of Arabia]

It's Ernesto Che Guevera, isn't it?
You know I can't spell non English words!

[Ronin]

It's Ernesto Che Guevera, isn't it?
You know I can't spell non English words!

close....

it´s Guevara

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

I'm for good spelling, but give Kaiser a break. An "e" is almost an "a" especially in cases like that.

I too want a "Straight Pride" shirt.

The sad thing is that in the majority of cases its not the black, female, gay, lesbian, disabled, asian, indian, mexican..... person who actually takes offense at most of these remarks or actions. It tends to be the rent-a-mobs who fight for any cause regardless of whether or not it affects them in the slightest because they haven't got anything worthwhile in their own meaningless little lives.

That's my general impression as well. The people calling you on something offensive thing don't actually belong to the category that should be offended. Generally speaking.