News of the Weird

[Banquo's Ghost]

If you're going to use song lyrics, Greg, you'll be moving on to entirely new turf. And the grass is not always greener...

[Pannonian]

If you're going to use song lyrics, Greg, you'll be moving on to entirely new turf. And the grass is not always greener...

Gah, mowning as usual.

[Gregoshi]

If you're going to use song lyrics, Greg, you'll be moving on to entirely new turf. And the grass is not always greener...

But its just a short clip from the song (...which I can't seem to get out of my head now).

[lars573]

Deer breaks into New Brunswick legislature. Runs around a bit, sheds some fur, and breaks out a window. Hasn't been seen since.

[Gregoshi]

Talk about bucking the system.

The deer is still unidentified, so authorities are refering to it as John or Jane Doe. One official quipped, "I call it 'John Deer' because I've not seen anything run that before."

[ShadesPanther]

Talk about bucking the system.

The deer is still unidentified, so authorities are refering to it as John or Jane Doe. One official quipped, "I call it 'John Deer' because I've not seen anything run that before."

I think we should write this John Deer a Deer John.

[Gregoshi]

Detractors of John Deer would love to mow him down.

[Duke of Gloucester]

... with his own lawn mower.

linky thing

[Lemur]

I took to heart the comment that the weirdness need not be, say, current news. Given that newer, more expansive definition, I present to you, the Weirdos:

Exploding animals.

[English assassin]

Well this is a gift to weirdfans everywhere:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4174519.stm

The US military investigated building a "gay bomb", which would make enemy soldiers "sexually irresistible" to each other, government papers say.
Other weapons that never saw the light of day include one to make soldiers obvious by their bad breath

In a variation on that idea, researchers pondered a "Who? Me?" bomb, which would simulate flatulence in enemy ranks.

Now, I have never served in the forces, and I freely admit that aspects of the military mind are a mystery to me. But, if I was crouched in a foxhole, the fact that my enemy had just been turned into a gang of farting rampant homosexuals with bad breath wouldn't strike me as completely good news.

[Zaknafien]

"It's important to point out that only those proposals which are deemed appropriate, based on stringent human effects, legal, and international treaty reviews are considered for development or acquisition."

Hehe, like bombs that suck the air out of rooms and replace it with fire. Totally appropriate. :)

[Duke of Gloucester]

I took to heart the comment that the weirdness need not be, say, current news. Given that newer, more expansive definition, I present to you, the Weirdos:

Exploding animals.

But it does not mention this, which is really weird.

Pigeon bombs

[InsaneApache]

I, for one, welcome our new pot smoking, rock dove overlords.

[drone]

Time to take this thread back to it's roots.

‘Jackass’ star sued over manhood in mousetrap

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

LOS ANGELES - An actor is suing “Jackass” star Johnny Knoxville, TV talk show host Jimmy Kimmel and radio personality Adam Carolla, claiming he was never paid $10 million for doing a below-the-belt stunt that left him severely injured.

Perry Caravello claims Kimmel never paid him for his work in the 2003 TV movie “Windy City Heat.” According to the suit, Knoxville also promised to pay him to promote the DVD release of the film on Carolla’s show last fall if he agreed to place his genitals in a mousetrap.

“Plaintiff agreed to do so, and, much to his emotional tranquility and to his physical harm, was severely injured when the trap literally went on his manhood,” the suit contended.

Caravello also was humiliated when clips of the incident, which he says were filmed without his permission, made it to the Internet, his suit claims.

The suit, filed Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court against Knoxville and others, alleges fraud, negligence and unjust enrichment.

The suit claims that Caravello signed a contract with Dakota North Entertainment Inc., a company that Kimmel heads. But Kimmel, Knoxville and others never paid Caravello or gave him an accounting of profits and royalties from DVD sales of “Windy City Heat,” the suit claims.

It seeks a total of $10.5 million in damages.

Calls to representatives for Knoxville, Kimmel and Carolla were not returned Saturday.

[Lord Winter]

I took to heart the comment that the weirdness need not be, say, current news. Given that newer, more expansive definition, I present to you, the Weirdos:

Exploding animals.

I'm sure the animals had to be cow'ed into this. This is a travesty that every activist should lead every activist to write a letter and bark at those bird brained officals.

[ShadesPanther]

Time to take this thread back to it's roots.

‘Jackass’ star sued over manhood in mousetrap

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

LOS ANGELES - An actor is suing “Jackass” star Johnny Knoxville, TV talk show host Jimmy Kimmel and radio personality Adam Carolla, claiming he was never paid $10 million for doing a below-the-belt stunt that left him severely injured.

Perry Caravello claims Kimmel never paid him for his work in the 2003 TV movie “Windy City Heat.” According to the suit, Knoxville also promised to pay him to promote the DVD release of the film on Carolla’s show last fall if he agreed to place his genitals in a mousetrap.

“Plaintiff agreed to do so, and, much to his emotional tranquility and to his physical harm, was severely injured when the trap literally went on his manhood,” the suit contended.

Caravello also was humiliated when clips of the incident, which he says were filmed without his permission, made it to the Internet, his suit claims.

The suit, filed Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court against Knoxville and others, alleges fraud, negligence and unjust enrichment.

The suit claims that Caravello signed a contract with Dakota North Entertainment Inc., a company that Kimmel heads. But Kimmel, Knoxville and others never paid Caravello or gave him an accounting of profits and royalties from DVD sales of “Windy City Heat,” the suit claims.

It seeks a total of $10.5 million in damages.

Calls to representatives for Knoxville, Kimmel and Carolla were not returned Saturday.

Who would actually be stupid enough to do that? And he somehow failed to notice people recording it?

[Lemur]

What idiot writer said that American lives have no second acts? Was it Fitzgerald? How wrong could he be? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mike Tyson, Bollywood sensation.

[TB666]

Well let's hope Tyson does a knockout on the crowd.

[Gregoshi]

"Iron" Mike Tyson should star in a remake of Ferrous Bueller's Day Off.

Dang it TB666, your sig got me again! I get embarrassed and look up everytime.

[Lemur]

Getting to the root of the matter:

Man sues over permanent erection

A NEW York man has sued the makers of a health drink, saying it has given him a permanent erection for the last two years.

Christopher Woods said he drank the vitamin-enriched Boost Plus, made by the Swiss-based Novartis pharmaceutical company, on June 5, 2004.

He woke up the next morning "with an erection that would not subside" and sought treatment of the condition, called severe priapism, court papers say.

Mr Woods, 29, had a penile implant to move blood from one area to another, acccording to the Associated Press.

The lawsuit filed yesterday said Mr Woods later had problems that required him to have blood vessels in his penis closed off, a procedure that lessens the likelihood of an erection.

Novartis's Boost Plus website described the drink as "a great-tasting, high calorie, nutritionally complete oral supplement for people who require extra energy and protein in a limited volume", in vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.

Mr Woods' lawsuit, which seeks unspecified damages, names Novartis Consumer Health Inc as a defendant.

A spokeswoman for Novartis said the company was aware of the lawsuit but would not comment.

[TB666]

Woods is just being a stiff hardcase.

[Uesugi Kenshin]

Getting to the root of the matter:

Man sues over permanent erection

This is actually more serious than it sounds, imagine the effect that so much blood being channeled away from his brain would have on his work.

[InsaneApache]

Canucks and the missing gravity

For more than 40 years, scientists have tried to figure out what's causing large parts of Canada, particularly the Hudson Bay region, to be "missing" gravity. In other words, gravity in the Hudson Bay area and surrounding regions is lower than it is in other parts of the world, a phenomenon first identified in the 1960s when the Earth's global gravity fields were being charted.

OK guys, own up. Which of you lot in north North America has pinched the gravity?

[Gregoshi]

Canada needs more Catholics, that's all. Larger Mass = more gravity. ~:D

[Zaknafien]

hm, this could be an example of 'weak gravity' which is as I understand it a relatively new aspect of physics. think about how big the earth is, yet how easy it is for you to pick something up off the ground or throw a ball. some physicists now believe that a large part of gravity, perhaps most of it, exists in dark matter in other universes parallel to our own and we only receive an echo effect.

[Don Corleone]

I want to know how long it's going to be before bright light gets the bright idea of opening a baseball franchise, that can benefit from a home stadium in this low gravity, somewhere up around the Hudson Bay.

[Lemur]

Canada needs more Catholics, that's all. Larger Mass = more gravity. ~:D

Ow. Ow ow ow. Ow. I don't know why, but that one really hurt. In a good way.

[Marshal Murat]

The U.S. Army Bear

I couldn't bear to have that carry me.

[InsaneApache]

I was goung to float several puns but at the last minute I came down to Earth.

[Gregoshi]

I was goung to float several puns but at the last minute I came down to Earth.

Light weight puns, no doubt. You've got to be really dense to come up with heavy, thought-provoking puns. Being attractive helps too.