News of the Weird

[Whacker]

This one's for Beirut:

Man chops off his own head with a chainsaw.

A man cut off his own head with a chainsaw after stabbing his 70-year-old father to death in their apartment in the German city of Cologne, police said.

The body of the offender, 24, was found headless when police raced to the apartment after an emergency call, apparently from the dying father, had been broken off in mid-sentence.

Alf Willwacher, a senior prosecutor, said an electric chainsaw was next to the son's body.

"We do not believe any third party was involved,'' he said.

I'd like a technical description of how this is physically possible.

[Husar]

I'd like a technical description of how this is physically possible.

A chainsaw is quite heavy, so I guess that, given the right starting position, it will just "fall down"...
IOr maybe you move it very fast so the inertia will make it move on etc. Just make it fast enough, that a chainsaw has a motor probably helps.

[Gregoshi]

The body of the offender, 24, was found headless when police raced to the apartment after an emergency call, apparently from the dying father, had been broken off in mid-sentence.

Transcript from the emergency call: "Tiiiiimmmmbbbbeeerrrr-..."

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Australian girls kill their friend to "see what it feels like".

Argh!

[ShadeHonestus]

Australian girls kill their friend to "see what it feels like".

Argh!

Should've practiced on a koala or something, then moved up the ranks while strictly adhering to the scientific method to accurately test their remorse capacity. Australian schools are letting their youth down in the sciences.

[Adrian II]

Man chops off his own head with a chainsaw.

Oben ohne!

This must be the same guy of that earlier incident. The guy who after he got divorced chainsawed his home in two and drove off with his half.

Der Kölsche Knabe, gar nicht träge,
Sägte mit der Kettensäge,
Ritzeratze! voller Tücke,
Im eignen Halse eine Lücke.
Als diese Tat schon fast vorbei,
Hörte noch die Polizei
“Ich füll in gute Kölsche Sproch
De ene mit demm andere Loch!”

Gotta love Germans.

[English assassin]

Not strictly weird, and no squid either, but a sad tale of a lovesick albatross:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/...ds/6641021.stm

A lovesick albatross has spent the last 40 years unsuccessfully looking for romance in Scotland, 8,000 miles away from his natural breeding grounds.
The lonely bird, dubbed Albert, is thought to have first arrived in Scotland after being blown off course in the South Atlantic in 1967.

For the past four decades he has been engaged in a futile attempt to woo gannets on several remote islands.

But experts said Albert had no prospect of finding a mate so far from home.

I don't know about you but I have a tear in my eye. I DEMAND that we fly a female albatross to Scotland for Albert immediately.

[Husar]

Where did you get that from Adrian?

Though I have to admit that, while I live relatively close to Cologne, I don't really get the point at the end.

And I agree with EA, greenpeace should do something!

[Adrian II]

I don't know about you but I have a tear in my eye. I DEMAND that we fly a female albatross to Scotland for Albert immediately.

Right you are!

It would be an outdated, misogynic and utterly non-holistic measure to fly in a nubile for Albert. All the more reason to do it.

Where do I sign?

[Adrian II]

Where did you get that from Adrian?

Though I have to admit that, while I live relatively close to Cologne, I don't really get the point at the end.

As you should be aware, there is a hole situated in the nether dorsal region of the human body which is known in German as the what-loch?

Oh, and it's my own spoof of a Max und Moritz couplet.

[Lemur]

When squirrels attack!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Squirrel enters S. San Jose classroom, attacks two adults and a student

By Leslie Griffy, San Jose Mercury News
Article Launched:05/09/2007 09:18:46 AM PDT

A squirrel bit an 11-year-old girl and two adults after scurrying into an open classroom at a South San Jose elementary school this morning, drawing police and animal control to the campus.

Although an animal control official said it's unlikely the squirrel has rabies, the three bite victims may undergo anti-rabies shots as a precaution.

The unusual attack was over in seconds, with the animal - possibly a confused and frightened adolescent - quickly disappearing.

"I think any animal that is cornered is going to do that fight-and-flight thing," operations director of the Wildlife Center of Silicon Valley Janet Alexander Thompson said. "He probably didn't mean to come into the classroom."

The door to a portable classroom at Evergreen Elementary School was open to warm weather as the school day started, Principal Kathy Shepard said. Inside the room, 20 first-graders excitedly awaited a field trip to see the musical mystery "Cam Jansen" at the Flint Center in Cupertino.

And then a squirrel came through the open door shortly after 8:30 a.m. Perhaps confused by the cacophony that is the start of the day in a first grade class, the critter ran up the nearest thing it could find, a parent-chaperon's leg.

The parent shook and shimmied to get the squirrel out of her pants. But it just sunk its claws into her leg, Evergreen Elementary School District spokesman Will Ector said. Another parent-chaperon jumped in to help the woman dislodge the squirrel.

The animal also bit the first woman on her leg. It bit the second mom on the finger and arm, Ector said. Then, it darted out of the classroom.

Unfortunately an 11-year-old girl just happened to be walking near the room at that moment.

"He jumped up on her," Ector said. "She had to fight him off. She was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time."

The girl suffered bite wounds on her arm and finger, Muyo said.

The three were taken to the nurse's office and later sent to the hospital. It is very unlikely that the squirrel that attacked them carries rabies, Santa Clara County Vector Control spokeswoman Kriss Costa said. But people bitten by squirrels often undergo a series of shots to ward off the disease.

By the time police, then animal control workers arrived at the school, the squirrel was gone, San Jose Animal Care Center spokeswoman Julie St. Gregory said.

"The whereabouts of the squirrel are unknown," Muyo said.

Ector said the district plans to begin trapping on campus immediately. The first-grade classroom where the initial attack occurred will also be moved away from the squirrel's likely home, the only clump of trees on campus.

And the school district planned to send home a letter with children explaining what happened.

The school, Shepard said, doesn't have a history of problem squirrels, unlike Cuesta Park in Mountain View where three people - including a 4-year-old boy - have been bitten by the furry creatures since last fall.

"For us," Shepard said, "it's so unusual."

Mountain View Community Services director David Muela said officials in that city have trapped and euthanized more than half a dozen so-called aggressive squirrels, spoiled on human food until they lost their natural fear of people.

Since Mountain View ended its trapping program in February, Muela said he's received no complaints of squirrel attacks, but signs discouraging feeding the animals remain at the park.

Ector said that students at Evergreen Elementary haven't been spied sharing treats with the very few squirrels on campus.

The wildlife center's Alexander Thompson suggested that the squirrel in the attack was likely young. It's the season for baby squirrels, she said. And, like human teenagers, adolescent squirrels who go exploring might not always understand the rules and sometimes run into trouble.

Not feeding the animals is one good way to prevent attacks, Alexander Thompson said. For the children, getting over the fear of animals could take time.

"You want to teach them that this is not normal behavior," she said. "That will hopefully start reducing their fear."

There was good news for the first-graders in the classroom where the attack occurred - their field trip scheduled for today went on as planned.

[drone]

...
Man chops off his own head with a chainsaw.
...

And the copy-cat murder/suicides begin!
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la...wed-storylevel

La Habra police said today that a man decapitated a woman with a circular saw and then tried to cut off his own head. He died of severe injuries to his neck.

I would think that a circular saw would not be the ideal tool for the job here, due to the limited depth of the cut. I'd advise using a reciprocating saw.

[edyzmedieval]

Sony promotes Playstation game with a decapitated goat. No, really.

The corpse of the decapitated animal was the centrepiece of a party to celebrate the launch of the God Of War II game for the company’s PlayStation 2 console.

Guests at the event were even invited to reach inside the goat’s still-warm carcass to eat offal from its stomach.

That's the most idiotic marketing move I have ever read of.
I'll never buy a PS3.

[lars573]

That's the most idiotic marketing move I have ever read of.
I'll never buy a PS3.

GoW II is for the PS2.


Squirrel goes berserk in So-Cal elementary school. Attacks 3 people, flees scene.


Man dies in car park dnace off. Authorities believe he was "served".

[drone]

Man dies in car park dnace off. Authorities believe he was "served".

Priceless!

And from the "Think of the Children" front:
http://www.dailyherald.com/search/se....asp?id=311064

Teen accused of soliciting child porn

A Fox River Grove teen is due in court May 21 to answer to charges he tried to coerce a Lake Barrington girl into sending him nude photographs of herself.

Lake County Assistant State's Attorney Joseph Fusz said Christopher Colles, 17, is charged with solicitation of child pornography.

Fusz said Colles made contact with the girl, also 17, through the Internet networking site Facebook in March.

Colles sent the girl messages indicating he was aware she was involved in teenage drinking and would keep quiet about it for a price, Fusz said.

Colles told the girl he would remain silent and give her $2,000 cash if she would send him several nude photographs of herself.

[Lemur]

File this under "ewwwwwww!"

Anne Swanson gave birth at Sunrise Hospital last month, and wants her placenta so she can ingest it for its nutrients. But Swanson says the hospital has told her the organ was contaminated, and she would have to go to court to get it back. Yesterday, Swanson and a group of other women protested outside the Maryland Parkway hospital, with signs reading "Free the Placenta."

[edit]

Australian girls kill their friend to "see what it feels like".

Hadn't these girls ever heard of Leopold and Loeb? Minus points for lack of originality.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Perhaps they should have gone for the perfect murder on its own before stepping up to the much more difficult perfect murder/perfect kidnapping combo.

Mind you, I suppose if you're Nietzschean Suipermen, you aren't too concerned with getting your learning curve right.

[Dave1984]

Spanish police pull over man in wheelchair on expressway

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

AFP
AFP - Thursday, May 10 06:23 pm

MADRID (AFP) - Spanish police pulled over a man in a electric wheelchair who was riding along on a expressway after he got lost while looking for a brothel, police and local media said Wednesday.

The 42-year-old man, who is tetraplegic, drove the specially-designed wheelchair which keeps him in a stretched position with the use of his chin and mouth, regional newspaper El Ideal Callego reproted.

He was stopped by police while traveling "at considerable speed" overnight Friday on the highway linking Ferrol with As Pontes in the northwestern Spanish region of Galicia, it said.

A policewoman in the town of Naron in Galicia told AFP the man was not driving at excessive velocity, "but he nonetheless posed an obvious danger to traffic and to himself."

The man was taken to a police station where he was tested for alcohol. The test turned out negative.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Tetraplegic man in a brothel? That a somewhat twisted mental image...In fact, if his paralysis was down to spinal cord damage, an injury high enough up to get all four of his limbs would also have cut the sensory nerves coming from his genitals anyway.

[R'as al Ghul]

All squirrel fans should google "evil attack squirrel of death".

[English assassin]

In fact, if his paralysis was down to spinal cord damage, an injury high enough up to get all four of his limbs would also have cut the sensory nerves coming from his genitals anyway.

To quote a rather obscure book, Orchards can be pleasant places, even if you can't climb trees.

[Lemur]

Stealth puddle of doom.

Video.

[sapi]

[InsaneApache]

You've all heard about pumping iron. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present.........pumping oil.

BODYBUILDERS seeking more impressive physiques are turning themselves into living versions of the cartoon character Popeye by injecting a form of synthetic oil into their muscles.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle1782095.ece

[Whacker]

You've all heard about pumping iron. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present.........pumping oil.



http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle1782095.ece

Talk about getting 'lubed up'...

[Gregoshi]

Silly body builders. If you want Popeye "muskles", you need to use Olive Oyl, otherwise you'll end up Wimpy.

[Whacker]

Silly body builders. If you want Popeye "muskles", you need to use Olive Oyl, otherwise you'll end up Wimpy.

Pretty slick suggestion

[The Wizard]

Does anyone remember Time Commanders?

Any former students here of Dr. Lynette?

Oh lawd... definitely news of the weird. He was a bit energetic, given, but that there was a transsexual hiding in there...

[Lemur]

I've got some real-life, first-hand news of the weird for ya. Coming home last night with the little lemurs, I ran into my neighbor, who is a GA nurse. She had some pictures and a freaky story to tell.

Woman overfills her jacuzzi. Decides to drain off some of the water. Takes a yard hose, starts sucking on it to create a siphon. Succeeds in her project, but feels weird. Really weird.

Goes to emergency room, complaining that she feels "something" in her throat. Doc and nurse take a look, and lo, behold, the woman has a group of black ants that have dug into the flesh of her throat. They're just below the vocal folds and the ventricular fold, so getting them out will be insanely tricky, especially since they've dug into her flesh with their mandibles.

Attempts are made with forceps and flushing, but nothing works. Suction is applied for a long while, and eventually all of the little buggers come free.

Disgusting, no? I'll see if she will loan me the pikkies to scan and post.

[Gregoshi]

That is gross Lemur. Note to self: don't suck on 'anty hose.