News of the Weird

[Lemur]

Crying baby sparks ten-minute brawl among angry moms. On Mother's Day, no less.

Sgt. Lee Kikolski said it appeared that two women in the restaurant had words over a child, which ignited the fight.

The sergeant said witnesses told him Christine Lewandowski, 56, repeatedly asked Sylvia Harris, 24, of Toledo to quiet her 1-year-old child, who was sitting in a high chair and screaming.

When the infant continued to scream, Ms. Lewandowski shouted at the baby to “shut up,” Sergeant Kikolski said.

That’s when Ms. Harris lunged at Ms. Lewandowski and began punching the woman, the sergeant said.

Other people joined in the fight, which lasted “maybe 10 minutes,” Sergeant Kikolski said.

“It was a big exchange,” Sergeant Kikolski. “It seemed like everyone wanted to get their licks in, or it could have possibly been they were trying to break up the fight.”

Chairs and tables were thrown as the fight participants quickly grew out of control and restaurant managers called police.

The restaurant was eventually shut down for nearly two hours, and about 100 customers were forced to leave, police said.

[Lemur]

Student mugged by geese.

Four geese set about Sam Rozati, 23, as he walked past their nest in Colchester. During the brutal attack they "pecked so hard he dropped his phone", allowing one of the gang to make off into the undergrowth with the device. A shaken Rozati recalled: "They flew over and started biting my hand until I dropped the phone. I had to move away for my safety."

The victim was later unable to locate his phone since it was set on silent. He lamented: "I'd never been mugged by anyone before, but now I've been mugged by geese. I go the long way round to go home now."

[InsaneApache]

I bet that got his gander up.

[Gregoshi]

That is what you call a "goose dropping".

[Banquo's Ghost]

Searching for that phone was definitely a wild goose chase.

[Lemur]

Depending on the model, he may be facing quite a bill.

[English assassin]

Only a chicken gets mugged by geese.

[Gregoshi]

Sheesh, you guys...waddle be the next pun me wonders?

[InsaneApache]

Wonder if he had to go see the quack with his pecked finger?

[Whacker]

He must be really honked off about the phone

[drone]

Hope they tar and feather the criminals. If the perpetrators are not brought to justice, we will hear about a gaggle of assaults soon.

With all the pun-spam going on, I'm surprised no one has used the obvious:

+pun

[InsaneApache]

I agree. We could opun the punning with a pun-nett of strawberries.

[Gregoshi]

Well drone, since you mentioned it, if the punning is perceived as SPAM, then I shall cease doing so. I figure it requires a measure of creativity and therefore shouldn't be considered SPAM. However, if the moderators see it as SPAM, then I can't and won't contribute to it (anymore) as SPAM is a pet-peeve of mine.

BTW drone on the "+pun" pun.

[drone]

Well drone, since you mentioned it, if the punning is perceived as SPAM, then I shall cease doing so. I figure it requires a measure of creativity and therefore shouldn't be considered SPAM.

I wouldn't really call it spam either. It takes effort, pertains (usually) to the thread topic, and can be pretty funny.
I mainly used the phrase to pull off the +pun gag anyway...

Back to the weird news:
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070514/D8P4CJOO0.html

Teen Hurt Whacking Bullets With Hammer

May 14, 4:41 PM (ET)

LAKE LUZERNE, N.Y. (AP) - A teenager who put bullets in a vise and whacked them with a hammer to empty the brass shell casings was wounded in the abdomen by approximately the 100th bullet he hit, according to Warren County deputies.

Damion M. Mosher, 18, had been discharging .223-caliber rounds, placing them in a steel vise, putting a screwdriver on the primer, and striking the screwdriver with the hammer, deputies said.

[Whacker]

Back to the weird news:
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070514/D8P4CJOO0.html

Well the whacking individual certainly wasn't me in this case!

Furthermore, I don't see what all the flap is about the geese earlier.

[Avicenna]

Mud to lighten colour of Taj Mahal

Spray Wars Episode I: the Pepper Menace

"My money or your life"

Medical physician defies physics.

Short Cameroonians try to scale higher heights

[drone]

Now that's a Happy Meal!

On Monday, a man and his three children went through the drive-through at McDonald's, 127 E. Norris Drive, buying Happy Meals. Shortly after, one of the children -- an 8-year-old girl -- told her father she found a lighter, a smoking pipe and a small bag of marijuana inside her Happy Meal box, said Police Chief Brian Zeilmann.

[English assassin]

I don't want to carp, but this thread isn't THAT weird any more, just sort of mildly offbeat.

This isn't tremendously weird, (Well, OK, it is) but here is a story about a man who decorated his flat as the inside of the Starship Enterprise, and then sold it for five times its market value: http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007211013,00.html

Interior designer Tony said: “It’s the only home like this in the world.”

He bought the flat for just £27,000 ten years ago — and started on the project after his marriage broke up.

He said: “I was out of work and a bit down. I think I’d have done away with myself if I hadn’t built that first control panel.”

Gee, I wonder why his wife left him?

[Gregoshi]

Enterprising Tony...

Event the articles are punning now. Tony may be weird, but he's got money to as weird as he wants now. The person that is even weirder though is the one who bought the flat.

[Lemur]

I don't want to carp, but this thread isn't THAT weird any more, just sort of mildly offbeat.

Feel free to take the thread wherever you feel it needs to go.

Sorry if this isn't sufficiently weird for you, but a Swedish rock band is for sale on eBay.

Swedish rock band for sale on eBay

Everything must go

By Jan Libbenga
Published Wednesday 16th May 2007 20:06 GMT

Is it a publicity stunt? Or are they seriously looking for a new investment?

Swedish band Rednex are up for sale at eBay for $1.5m. The new owner gets the trademark, the record releases, the contracts and all the shares of the Swedish company Rednex AB, according to a website devoted to the sale of band and its assets.

Rednex is the brainchild of a group of Swedish producers with several gold selling Top 10 hits, including Cotton Eye Joe, which entered the charts in 1994. The band - a loosely run creative team of performers, actors, art designers and programmers - claims to have sold 10 million records.

The eurodance pop outfit is still active. Recently they were going to take part in the pre-selection for the Eurovision Songfestival, but were disqualified when the judges discovered that their song had been published and performed as early as 2001. They are also record holders for the world's longest song title (The Sad But True Story Of Ray Mingus, The Lumberjack Of Bulk Rock City, And His Never Slacking Stribe In Exploiting The So Far Undiscovered Areas Of The Intention To Bodily Intercourse From The Opposite Species Of His Kind, During Intake Of All The Mental Condition That Could Be Derived From Fermentation).

"Buying a pop band opens up opportunities to make a hayload of money and peek behind the scenes of an exclusive branch," the site claims. Oh yes, and they are debt-free too.

As yet there have been no bids for the band. The auction will end May 19.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Here's a fun one: Armed cops in Lara Croft bust action...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Armed police raid home after mistaking Lara Croft dummy for gunman
James Tozer

When police spotted a gun-wielding suspect lurking in the shadows of a suburban front room, their response was swift.

Armed officers burst into the house, shouted at the owner to lie on the floor, and ordered him to surrender his weapon.

But efficiency turned to embarrassment when the "gunman" turned out to be a life-sized model of the video game character Lara Croft, complete with trademark outsized pistols.

Computer shop owner David Williams, 42, had taken the dummy home to put it up for sale on the auction site eBay.

As the source of the confusion dawned on all concerned, it might have been the moment for an apology from the police.

Instead, however, Mr Williams was taken to the cells and held for more than 13 hours before being released.

He is now on bail for a suspected firearms offence, and Lara Croft remains impounded as evidence.

"It would have been laughable if it hadn't been so terrifying," he said yesterday. "One of the police held a gun and yelled, 'Where's the weapon, where's the weapon?'

"I didn't have a clue what was going on, I assumed they'd got the wrong house. I couldn't believe it when I realised they'd mistaken a Lara Croft dummy for someone with a gun."

Father-of-two Mr Williams had phoned police after receiving nuisance phone calls, and officers arrived at his house in Dukinfield, near Ashton-under-Lyne, Greater Manchester, shortly before midnight.

He says he did not hear them arrive, but unknown to him one officer had seen the dummy's silhouette through the front window and called for armed back-up.

Soon afterwards, the street was cordoned off and a team of armed officers burst in through Mr Williams's back door.

A spokesman for Greater Manchester Police said officers peered inside after Mr Williams failed to answer his front door.

"They believed they saw a silhouette of a person pointing what appeared to be a firearm inside the house," she said.

They followed "correct procedure" by withdrawing to await armed officers, she added.

"Officers then went into the house and found a mannequin holding a toy weapon."

Mr Williams, who says he is speaking to lawyers about a possible claim for wrongful arrest, will hear whether he faces further action when he answers bail next month.

[English assassin]

Much better thank you.

Computer shop owner David Williams, 42, had taken the dummy home to put it up for sale on the auction site eBay

Yeah, right, the old "I'm putting it up for sale on ebay" ploy, eh?

[sapi]

@BG -

It was a 'practice exercise', I'm sure

[Gregoshi]

Yeah, right, the old "I'm putting it up for sale on ebay" ploy, eh?

Followed up by the old "we're impounding it for evidence" ploy.

[sapi]

Enough

[InsaneApache]

Not a lara laughs for the police then.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Damn! I was bidding on that!

Looks like I'll just have to be patient. Lara will be mine eventually.

[English assassin]

Hmm? Is making coffee out of cat poo weird?

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle1801189.ece

(Not when you can sell if for $50 a cup)

[Gregoshi]

I'll take decatinated coffee, thank you.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I reckon Greg's used his l33t coding skillz to write some kind of punning algorithm. It's the only explanation.