News of the Weird

[Vladimir]

So he/she/it gets to have all the fun!

[Lemur]

Post-Mortem Humiliation: Obese Woman Carried So Much Fat She Set Crematorium on Fire

As you'll well know if you barbecue very often, fat is extremely flammable. Normally, the human body doesn't carry enough of the stuff for it to be a problem during cremation—but recently, an obese woman from Austria carried so much weight that her fat burnt strongly enough to set a crematorium ablaze.

The fat caused the fire inside the crematorium to reach 300C, resulting in clouds of smoke billowing out of the building when the filter mechanisms failed to stand up to the job. Firemen had to rush to the scence in Graz, Austria, where they were confronted by thick black smoke smoke which, in the words of the Daily Mail, left them "covered with a layer of sooty grease". Delightful. They eventually extinguished the fire by aiming water through the vents which are used to clear the filters of the cremation oven.

The woman in question weighed 440 pounds, and experts have claimed that it is definitely her size which caused the oven in which she was being cremated to overheat, as opposed to there being a fault. Most countries don't currently have an upper limit on weight or body size which is allowed to be cremated—but this incident could well change that. In fact, since the fire Austria and Switzerland are considering a ban on larger bodies being cremated.

[Lemur]

I'll see your mountain lion and raise you a bear

Robert Biggs, 69, [...] was roaming the woods of north-central California Monday when the giant cat jumped him.

Biggs, a photographer who enjoys getting close to nature, but probably not this close, was initially saved by his backpack, which was “up around his head” and prevented the panther from landing a mortal blow.

After tussling with the panther for a few seconds, a bear appeared and battled the mountain lion for about 15 seconds, Biggs said, before the cat fled.

The bear left Biggs alone, and he suffered only relatively minor bites, bruises and bite marks.

Biggs told the Paradise, Calif., publication that he had been taking pictures of the bear and her cub before the mountain lion attacked him. He said he had taken pictures of the mother bear before, and had even played with an earlier cub.

[Gregoshi]

I'll see your mountain lion and raise you a bear

The headline should have been "Man Bearly Escapes Mountain Lion Attack". Must have been a cub reporter.

[KukriKhan]

has

[Vladimir]

has

WAZZZZZZUP?!?!?

[InsaneApache]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...illed-car.html

[Beskar]

Now at least we know what to do with Grandma now.

[KukriKhan]

as sast

[Kadagar_AV]

Post-Mortem Humiliation: Obese Woman Carried So Much Fat She Set Crematorium on Fire

As you'll well know if you barbecue very often, fat is extremely flammable. Normally, the human body doesn't carry enough of the stuff for it to be a problem during cremation—but recently, an obese woman from Austria carried so much weight that her fat burnt strongly enough to set a crematorium ablaze.

The fat caused the fire inside the crematorium to reach 300C, resulting in clouds of smoke billowing out of the building when the filter mechanisms failed to stand up to the job. Firemen had to rush to the scence in Graz, Austria, where they were confronted by thick black smoke smoke which, in the words of the Daily Mail, left them "covered with a layer of sooty grease". Delightful. They eventually extinguished the fire by aiming water through the vents which are used to clear the filters of the cremation oven.

The woman in question weighed 440 pounds, and experts have claimed that it is definitely her size which caused the oven in which she was being cremated to overheat, as opposed to there being a fault. Most countries don't currently have an upper limit on weight or body size which is allowed to be cremated—but this incident could well change that. In fact, since the fire Austria and Switzerland are considering a ban on larger bodies being cremated.

You'd think the Austrians would have had better set routines for stuff like that.

[Kadagar_AV]

35 AK-armed policemen rescue shaved orangutan prostitute in Borneo

Interviewer: So tell us about Pony.

Michelle Desilets [Director of the Borneo Orangutan Survival Foundation]: Pony is an orangutan from a prostitute village in Borneo. We found her chained to a wall, lying on a mattress. She had been shaved all over her body.

I want to cry.

If a man walked near her, she would turn herself around, present herself, and start gyrating and going through the motions. She was being used as a sex slave. She was probably about six or seven years old when we rescued her, but she had been held captive by a madam for a long time. The madam refused to give up the animal because everyone loved Pony and she was a big part of their income. They also thought Pony was lucky, as she would pick winning lottery numbers.

Did the clients realize that they were in fact getting an orangutan?

Oh yeah, they would come in especially for it. You could choose a human if you preferred, but it was a novelty for many of the men to have sex with an orangutan. They shaved her every other day, which meant that her skin had all these pimples and was very irritated. The mosquitoes would get to her very badly and the bites would become septic and be very infected, as she would scratch them constantly. They would put rings and necklaces on her. She was absolutely hideous to look at.

How did you get her away from there?

It took us over a year to rescue her, because every time we went in with forest police and local officers we would be overpowered by the villagers, who simply would not give her up. They would threaten us with guns and knives with poison on them. In the end it took 35 policemen armed with AK-47s and other weaponry going in there and demanding that they hand over Pony. It was filmed by a local television crew and in the background of the film when we are unchaining Pony you can hear the madam crying hysterically, screaming, “They are taking my baby, you can’t do this!” There is no law enforcement in Indonesia so these people didn’t face any sentence or anything for what they had done.

Everything else aside, I can understand why people prefer an orangutan in some cases.

[Peasant Phill]

Everything else aside, I can understand why people prefer an orangutan in some cases.

Please explain.

[Kadagar_AV]

Please explain.

Well, I think that would kill the joke. But oh well.

If you look at the bold part, I have found that not all human women "go through the motions". I find it most common among japaneese and english girls.

[Andres]

Well, I think that would kill the joke. But oh well.

If you look at the bold part, I have found that not all human women "go through the motions". I find it most common among japaneese and english girls.

And that's enough for you to prefer an orangutan?

[InsaneApache]

And that's enough for you to prefer an orangutan?

[Kadagar_AV]

And that's enough for you to prefer an orangutan?

That's not exactly what I said, now is it?

I made a joke, if I had read the same joke I would have chuckled. Let bygones be bygones.

Might as well analyze a Charlie Chaplin film, where he slips on a banana, and analyze how terrible it is that he could have gotten back problems for the lack of proper stuntmen.

[Sir Moody]

it was just amazingly poor taste... much like the Austrian joke before it...

[Major Robert Dump]

I don't think it was poor taste at all. You know the old saying, "A monkey/chicken/goat/ape/gerbil never complains."

While a very sad story, were it not for all the aggravating circumstances surrounding it (the abuse, the ak 47s, etc), how would this story would be different if the ape was, say, discovered at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada, where she lived a very comfortable life, swam in a pool, chose her own clients, had an on-site chef and hairdresser. Now that would be funny.

So you see, while ape prostitution is funny, this particular case is not

[Kadagar_AV]

I've been hanging with bartenders and ski instructors for too long... If you frown at comments like THAT, you'd wet yourselves in panic at some of the jokes I've heard :)

[Tellos Athenaios]

Hitchhiker shot while researching 'Kindness of America'

A hitchhiker researching a book on "The Kindness of America" is currently recovering in hospital after a gun-toting truck driver gave him a small donation of some searing hot lead.

Ray Dolin, was hitching on Highway 2 in Montana on Saturday as part of a project to produce a memoir on the great things about the open road in the big country.

Dolin was sitting on his backpack, just west of of the town of Glasgow early Saturday evening when a pickup truck slowed down.

However, rather than extending the offer of a ride, the driver extended a gun out of the window and shot Dolin in the arm.

[Kadagar_AV]

Hitchhiker shot while researching 'Kindness of America'

A hitchhiker researching a book on "The Kindness of America" is currently recovering in hospital after a gun-toting truck driver gave him a small donation of some searing hot lead.

Ray Dolin, was hitching on Highway 2 in Montana on Saturday as part of a project to produce a memoir on the great things about the open road in the big country.

Dolin was sitting on his backpack, just west of of the town of Glasgow early Saturday evening when a pickup truck slowed down.

However, rather than extending the offer of a ride, the driver extended a gun out of the window and shot Dolin in the arm.

I feel like going all Tribesman on this one...

[Lemur]

Ammo Manufacturer Capitalizes of Rash of Cannibal Attacks
(file under "How to sell when 'Obama Will Take Our Guns' gets old")




Bullets said to be made specifically for zombie eradication are here, and they're allegedly selling like hotcakes -- or, hot, oozing brains if you're undead.

When "Zombie Apocalypse" became a media obsession -- reanimated, in part by a spate of cannibalistic attacks -- the Hornady company snapped into action and came up with the perfect plan. They rebranded one of their bullets, slapped a green tip on it, and fancied it up with creepy packaging.

Voila: Z-Max bullets are designed to "make dead permanent," according to the Detroit company's website. [...]

Reviewers, who recreated a bullet ripping through zombie flesh, aren't super impressed with the Z-max bullet in terms of practicality. One man even says that the Z-max ammo has the exact same specifications as the same company's Critical Defense ammo.

But who cares? There's nothing better than an awesome -- and awesome looking -- zombie defense kit.

[Kadagar_AV]

What the eff

Yeah... That is just so ironic...

[Ronin]

Hitchhiker shot while researching 'Kindness of America'

A hitchhiker researching a book on "The Kindness of America" is currently recovering in hospital after a gun-toting truck driver gave him a small donation of some searing hot lead.

Ray Dolin, was hitching on Highway 2 in Montana on Saturday as part of a project to produce a memoir on the great things about the open road in the big country.

Dolin was sitting on his backpack, just west of of the town of Glasgow early Saturday evening when a pickup truck slowed down.

However, rather than extending the offer of a ride, the driver extended a gun out of the window and shot Dolin in the arm.

-Clothes and shoes for hitchhiking across America - 40$
-Writing material for book "The Kindness of America" - 30$
-Being randomly shot by a stranger for no good reason - priceless.

The lessons the universe teaches you are priceless....for everything else...there's Mastercard.

[aimlesswanderer]

Ammo Manufacturer Capitalizes of Rash of Cannibal Attacks
(file under "How to sell when 'Obama Will Take Our Guns' gets old")



Bullets said to be made specifically for zombie eradication are here, and they're allegedly selling like hotcakes -- or, hot, oozing brains if you're undead.

When "Zombie Apocalypse" became a media obsession -- reanimated, in part by a spate of cannibalistic attacks -- the Hornady company snapped into action and came up with the perfect plan. They rebranded one of their bullets, slapped a green tip on it, and fancied it up with creepy packaging.

Voila: Z-Max bullets are designed to "make dead permanent," according to the Detroit company's website. [...]

Reviewers, who recreated a bullet ripping through zombie flesh, aren't super impressed with the Z-max bullet in terms of practicality. One man even says that the Z-max ammo has the exact same specifications as the same company's Critical Defense ammo.

But who cares? There's nothing better than an awesome -- and awesome looking -- zombie defense kit.

Hang on, is there special ammo for killing pesky aliens? You know, the ones in flying saucers who abduct people? Given the hysteria about aliens over the years I'd think that would sell heaps.

[Gregoshi]

Hitchhiker shot while researching 'Kindness of America'

A hitchhiker researching a book on "The Kindness of America" is currently recovering in hospital after a gun-toting truck driver gave him a small donation of some searing hot lead.

Ray Dolin, was hitching on Highway 2 in Montana on Saturday as part of a project to produce a memoir on the great things about the open road in the big country.

Dolin was sitting on his backpack, just west of of the town of Glasgow early Saturday evening when a pickup truck slowed down.

However, rather than extending the offer of a ride, the driver extended a gun out of the window and shot Dolin in the arm.

Apparently he shot himself intentionally for some publicity: self-inflicted publicity

[Kadagar_AV]

Apparently he shot himself intentionally for some publicity: self-inflicted publicity

People start to get really desperate for money / media coverage. I think that says more about the kindness of America than the meaning put forth in this thread. But open a thread or PM me if you want to debate, this isnt the place.

[Gregoshi]

No debate necessary on my part, Kadagar. I saw this further development of the story which kind of makes it weirder.

[Ronin]

Zoo keeper in Sweden killed by wolves.

This is what happens when you don´t follow the security rules when dealing with wild animals.
there are signs in these places that clearly say "don´t feed the animals".

[Kadagar_AV]

Zoo keeper in Sweden killed by wolves.

This is what happens when you don´t follow the security rules when dealing with wild animals.
there are signs in these places that clearly say "don´t feed the animals".

She was following the park protocol... She has also handled the wolves since they were pups, feeding them with a baby bottle and stuff...

It's probably down to a number of factors, IE, the wolf pack at the time going through some sort of disturbance (like one of the wolves trying to take over the alpha role), and she maybe on top of that stumbled and fell, setting of some instinct in the wolves...

They also sense fear, so stumbling she might have got afraid, and set them off...

Poor women, but with that said, I've always been against wild animals in captivity. If some of them snaps and attacks it must be expected, and I in no way blame the wolves.