View Full Version : Gentlemen, I believe I have a problem...
King Henry V
03-09-2008, 00:12
...I think I'm in love. Yes, stony-hearted old me has fallen quite amourously for my ladyfriend. I say that this is a problem because of the damned awkward time of life it is, as come October she will be going to university in England and I will have to remain, for the moment at least (I'm applying for Cambridge this year) in dear old Switzerland. I have thus been telling myself that is much better if I keep this dalliance as simple as possible without the complications of love, as then parting will be much less painless.
However, whilst mulling things over with a friend this afternoon, he pointed out that if I do stay with her until the autumn, it is extremely likely that one of us will be in love with the other. We have been going out properly for the past 7 weeks (I say properly since we were going out quite regularly during November and December but that was just as friends) and things are going very smoothly and I have no reason to suspect that they will be otherwise in the future. I am therefore faced with a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. Of course, the fact that different and completely unrelated people keep saying that she's perfect for me and that we're ideal together just makes things more complicated.
The rub is that I really don't know what I'm going to do in October. I'm not really able to see her on during the week, and I find that enough of a pain as it is, so I don't know if I'll be able to cope with the ache of not seeing her for several months, and I think that it will be less painless in the long run if we break it off altogether before she goes away. I just don't know if I have it in me to maintain a long-distance relationship.
As you can see, I'm in rather a quandary, and so I turn to your huge combined wealth of experience for advice.
:bow:
Big_John
03-09-2008, 03:19
1) lots of fish in the sea
2) switzerland has no access to the ocean
3) jump ship!
hope that helps.
seriously, though. i've never been a fan of planning/reorganizing your life around a girlfriend. i'd maintain course, and try the LDR thing and see how it goes. if you get into cambridge, that's a different story. but don't just go there because of her. pain passes. for me at least, the happiness of being in charge of your life > the happiness that comes from a girlfriend (they tend to be replaceable, regardless of how good the current one fits at the moment).
My good King,
Life, in its most certain state of uncertainty, especially in matters of the heart, will screw you over the likes of which you cannot possibly imagine nor will you ever be able to control.
If love presents itself to you, grab it with both arms and squeeze every last moment of joy from it you can. For the concern you carry over future love`s lost is naught but a fear of events you have no control over anyway. Whether locked in a dungeon or out at play, you will both win and lose in the game of hearts and the idea that you have control of the cards is often just an illusion.
Events pertaining to lust and contentment can be manipulated (thank God), but true love is in an inviolable space-time continuum of it`s own.
Louis VI the Fat
03-09-2008, 03:43
1 October is 200 years away. You have all spring and summer to enjoy each other!
2 Never don't start something because you are afraid.
3 Can't you study a semester in England next year?
4 London to Lyon is five hours by train. It's what, two more to Geneve? (If that was were you live). If either skips a Friday, there will be plenty of time to see each other if on a Friday to Sunday trip. Either can read their books or write their essays on the train.
5 The two of you can meet each other half way and spend the weekends in Paris...
Really, six billion people on this earth, and all but very few would trade places with you. Having a perfect student girfriend to meet for a hot rendez-vous in England, Switzerland and anyplace in between. What's your problem again? :smash:
scottishranger
03-09-2008, 03:52
Hurrah for my Patron!
You do remember me dont you me liege. Havent seen you in a while, but hey, Atterdag and I dont hold it against you.
Congrats on love, as to your actual question, sorry, I am useless. Listen to everyone else.
Reverend Joe
03-09-2008, 04:13
My good King,
Life, in its most certain state of uncertainty, especially in matters of the heart, will screw you over the likes of which you cannot possibly imagine nor will you ever be able to control.
If love presents itself to you, grab it with both arms and squeeze every last moment of joy from it you can. For the concern you carry over future love`s lost is naught but a fear of events you have no control over anyway. Whether locked in a dungeon or out at play, you will both win and lose in the game of hearts and the idea that you have control of the cards is often just an illusion.
Events pertaining to lust and contentment can be manipulated (thank God), but true love is in an inviolable space-time continuum of it`s own.
:2thumbsup: Yeah... what he said.
LittleGrizzly
03-09-2008, 04:57
Even if it ends when she leaves isn't it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all ?
Mouzafphaerre
03-09-2008, 05:02
.
What Beirut and Louis VI said. :yes:
Don't miss the chance; grab it! :2thumbsup:
:medievalcheers:
Note to self: ~:mecry:
.
Big_John
03-09-2008, 06:19
bunch of starry-eyed romantics in the frontroom...
Strike For The South
03-09-2008, 07:08
What do you have to lose man?
Samurai Waki
03-09-2008, 09:26
Love is an adventure in hell; Love not pursued is an eternity in hell.
Ianofsmeg16
03-09-2008, 10:47
Aw Henry =P
It's cool you're in love man
love is...an eternity of free chocolate.
My simple advice to you is do what you this is most right, if in doubt..listen to Louis' advice, he's french, and i have it on good authority theyre very qualified in the love department..
and if all fails, its better to have loved and lost than spend an eternity listening to an album by James Blunt
What they said! ^^ :2thumbsup:
I agree...with Louis.If you think you have found the perfect partner, IMO distance shouldn't be a problem, not one that stops you. What Louis says about the trains seems a bit expensive to me when you do it every other week but depending on how often you can afford it, it should work now and then. You also have until October to tell her how to use some messenger with a headset to save telephone costs so you can get on the train more often. What Big John says isn't entirely wrong though, for some people living life the way they want it is living their life with a certain person they love. I think the better that person fits to someone, the stronger the urge so I'll go with the cliche of listen to your heart, ask yourself whether your love is truly madly deeply(yeah, stole that from some popsong ~;) ) and if the answer is yes, go ahead. :2thumbsup:
Or maybe I'm just a naive romantic virgin with no clue about nothing. :shrug: :sweatdrop:
LeftEyeNine
03-09-2008, 15:34
Partnership is best observed when you are partners. "Enjoying the time together" is quite a different story when two becomes partners.
Long-distance relationship is VERY hard to handle. I know a 3-years-old relationship coming to an enough-or-more point after the HAPPY and CARING partners moved far away from each other. They were fortunate to turn it back around when they came together though.
My 3-months-old relationship, among with other reasons, went dead because I was UNABLE to be near the lady who was in love with me. The distance sure had effects on my break-up.
It's quite easy to fire away "Hold her !", "Grab the lady!", "Squeeze her tits!" from outside of the frame. But seeing you're in love, an unfortunate ending (which is more likely since there will be quite a distance between the two of you) will knock YOU down, not us advisors who'll be playing M2TW and yelling at our LCDs by that time.
And during some academic period like one you have, or while in a work, such emotinal breakdowns thrashes the mind. It was my 2nd day in front of the microphone as a radio DJ, and after my return from my last visit to her, I was unable to speak to the radio. Maybe I'm an emotional idiot with problems but "falling in love" makes everything blurry. Even a breakup may not be the end of it all, you may still be pursuing retrials and little glimpses of hope. And such aftershock pulls your rationality down, half of your mind will always sing "She".
Final words:
Never
Leave
Something
You
Want
To
Do
Undone
Go tell her how you love her in the appropriate time and manner. Maybe the tendency of your conversation will open a way for you to reveal about your concerns for the future as well. An adult woman should be understanding.
And if I was to compare "live it out without thinking about the probable consequences" and "never do that", I'd go tell her about my feelings and concerns if possible, and "never do it".
When you have memories with someone, sharing some of your life, no matter how long it is, the aftershock pain just gets more agonizing rather than the "we"-could-never-be scenario.
:bow:
P.S. Listening to too much advise from outside in love situations is the most severe mistake. Listen to your "faults". People evolve on their owns.
Vladimir
03-09-2008, 23:05
1 October is 200 years away. You have all spring and summer to enjoy each other!
2 Never don't start something because you are afraid.
3 Can't you study a semester in England next year?
4 London to Lyon is five hours by train. It's what, two more to Geneve? (If that was were you live). If either skips a Friday, there will be plenty of time to see each other if on a Friday to Sunday trip. Either can read their books or write their essays on the train.
5 The two of you can meet each other half way and spend the weekends in Paris...
Really, six billion people on this earth, and all but very few would trade places with you. Having a perfect student girfriend to meet for a hot rendez-vous in England, Switzerland and anyplace in between. What's your problem again? :smash:
Henry: If you drive to Paris, stock up on this (http://www.usfoam.com/?gclid=CPHplp2EgZICFShMGgodgHiOUw) stuff. :2thumbsup:
King Henry V
03-10-2008, 17:57
Well I thank you all for your excellent advice, which has made things a lot clearer in my mind.
Good Ship Chuckle
03-10-2008, 23:00
Henry: If you drive to Paris, stock up on this (http://www.usfoam.com/?gclid=CPHplp2EgZICFShMGgodgHiOUw) stuff. :2thumbsup:
What on earth???:gah: Fire fighting foam? Why would that be of use?
I don't have much experience in love. I don't feel all that pressured to get myself engaged too quickly. I have good looks and a half-charming demeanor...so love isn't something that I fret over too much. Maybe I should though.
Ravencroft
03-11-2008, 07:01
Well, congratulations.
Go on, grab the chance! I didn't grab the chance (to love) when it came my way, so now I'm regretting everything.
Hope that helps.
Sorry if I'm too er... angsty, that's all a 15-year-old guy can give to ya.
The Wandering Scholar
03-11-2008, 10:51
Gah don't take life so serious man
Vladimir
03-11-2008, 13:27
What on earth???:gah: Fire fighting foam? Why would that be of use?
I don't have much experience in love. I don't feel all that pressured to get myself engaged too quickly. I have good looks and a half-charming demeanor...so love isn't something that I fret over too much. Maybe I should though.
Car. Paris. :help:
Well, congratulations.
Go on, grab the chance! I didn't grab the chance (to love) when it came my way, so now I'm regretting everything.
Hope that helps.
Sorry if I'm too er... angsty, that's all a 15-year-old guy can give to ya.
And at your age, love will never come again. :no:
Duke Malcolm
03-20-2008, 02:39
A late reply, but I must. Good for you. It is still early yet, though I trust you shall have a lovely time together.
I cannot give much in the way of advice, except enjoy it while you can.
Love is for the most part......self-conditioned brainwashing in my humble opinion...
now..that doesn´t make it any less "real"....it just means you can "de-program" yourself from the condition if you really choose too.
So have fun with it........it´s the best I can say
Mithrandir
03-20-2008, 11:59
If you're completely in love, go for it.Otherwise you'll always be wondering what might've been, trust me.
If it's a mere crush, don't complicate things for yourself and distance yourself from her now.
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