Perfect Insanity: The Sweboz in the East. (an extreme AAR)

[russia almighty]

House Rules

1.Cause of EB's AoR, a certain amount of troops can be shipped to East to signify Germans back in the Rhineland going, "Wow, so some of our homies conquered cities with walls 50ft tall, that were made out of gold? I'm game for conquest."

2.Have to be imperialistic.

3.That "cheat" money is were the cheating ends. That was to get to were I am right now.

4. A Sweboz unit has to be leading an army bare minimum.

5. an attempt has to be made to hold up the old empire back in Europe.

6.Ambros and co are not getting abandoned. This was something I cooked up after seeing migration topics.

7.Have some fun, have people go, "That is a weird concept," kill some Parthians, ect.

Now presenting to the world,


PERFECT INSANITY:THE SWEBOZ IN THE EAST.

https://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o221/russiaalmighty/perfect%20insanity/RomeTW2008-03-2123-15-18-67.jpg

"Balthazar is crazy." One of the Thanes whispered to another.

"How did we end up out here? No woods to ambush someone? The natives are horse ****ers, I swear."

Both were referencing to their leader, Balthazar, who had brought the Sweboz to the fringes of the world, atleast to them. Most of these warriors hadn't fought that far away from their homes. Now there was no returning home, they went were Balthazar went.

else where

"We need horse-archers." Balthazar said flatly.

"We need to get out of here eventually," one of his generals said, "have you heard of what those Dahae riders have said is even further east? Cities with walls that are as high as the sky, riches beyond our wildest dreams. Let us not hunker down here my friend; but, continue on and take what is rightfully ours!"

Balthazar played with his beard.

"You are right. Though, while we are here, we might as well get some natives to assist us. We are extremely vulnerable here and are lucky that on our trip, one of the horse war lords to the south didn't attack us."

[johnhughthom]

Looks good, should have some pretty cool battles with this campaign.:2thumbsup:

[General Appo]

Yeah, looking forward to seeing you fighting the Saka´s with that army, can´t be easy.

[underthesun]

That IS perfectly insane. You're not going to have much in the ay of recruitment, are you? :-o

[russia almighty]

I get to use the move character cheat somewhat to increase the speed coming in, but it would probably take a whole year to get forces to the east (out of fairness, I could always spam stacks every turn)

[Long lost Caesar]

looks good, but how do you keep the settlements from rebelling? must be a bitch :laugh4:

[russia almighty]

https://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o221/russiaalmighty/perfect%20insanity/RomeTW2008-03-2220-29-08-42.jpg

After staying a few seasons, Balthaz got his wish, horse archers. They were Sarmatian Nobles who were decently armored. Some horse archers too, were sent from a near by town held by the Sweboz.

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The Thanes and riders of the Sweboz assembled. The Thanes and the nobles bodyguards mounted on horses to keep up with the Steppe riders. The flat plains seemed endless to the Sweboz warriors, who were use to the more varied lands of Germania.

"Well this ever end?" One of the thanes said.

"Those riders sent scouts far ahead, they haven't been back. They might have found something good."

A stomach rumbled.

"I'm getting hungry mate."

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"Sir!" One of the Sarmatian scouts said.

"What did you find?" Balthaz said.

"We found town. They have valuables and food."

"Order the host to attack!"

[russia almighty]

https://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o221/russiaalmighty/perfect%20insanity/RomeTW2008-03-2220-35-25-89.jpg

"Sire, we are under attack!" Said one of the Dahae scouts to the Parthian Governor.

"Have the Aorsi come out of the Steppes again?" He said.

"No, take a look at their force." The Dahae said pointing towards the Sweboz horde.

The Parthian saw a large mounted force, nothing new. They could always hold out in the town, till they got bored, like many other steppe raiders. Something about these men were different, once they stopped, a part of them dismounted. The Governor got scared immediately.

"Are they Greeks?"

"No idea, they look like nothing I've seen before."

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The Parthians would have never seen anyone truly like the Sweboz before. The Parthians in the town were stupified by the disheveled look of what appeard to be the nobility; they mostly tried to keep clean. These men on the other hand looked like they were born out of the dirt on the ground. The amount of warriors too with blonde hair was odd as well.


"Horse riders, bring up your archers!" Balthaz said to the Sarmatian warriors.

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"Yes sir." The Sarmatian noble in control of the Sarmatian band said. He moved up a group of horse archers and foot archers within firing range of the town.

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"Fire!"

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The Sarmatian riders rode close to the Parthian town and turned the sky black with their missles.

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"They have Sarmatian warriors too!?"

[Laevex]

This is a fantastic idea! It will be really interesting if you manage to forge an eastern Germanic empire.
Good luck taking on the Baktrians. I really hope you get that far. At least you have lots of money.

[russia almighty]

I'm more worried about conquering Gandahar actually. Indian longbow men are scary.

[russia almighty]

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One of the general, along with a fraggle of a thanes went around the flank, as the Sarmatian warriors bombarded the Parthians with arrows.

"I'm cleaning that place out." One of the Thanes said, as he passed by the temple.

"Hey, leave some for me." His friend said.

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The General and the other thanes crashed into the Parthian governor, beginning a bloody battle. It took many hits from Sweboz spears and swords to down the heavily armored horses and riders. No mercy was given, if they were alive if they fell off, they got a spear stuck through their heads.

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Under arrow fire the battle raged on. The General and the thanes were starting to get cut down, till the Sarmatians charged in, pushing the odds back in favor of the Sweboz.

Splat! "Die!" The Parthian Governor said, as he swung and crushed body guard and thane alike skulls with his mace.

Unbeknowest to him, one of the thanes he thought he killed hadn't died entirely yet. With his last gasps of life, he plunged his sword into the belly of the beast he rode and made the horse knock the governor off. He took his small knife and plunged it into the the throat of the Parthian Governor, ending his life.

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Once any survivors were impaled outside of the town, 3 days of non-stop raping and pillaging commenced. Anything of value was taken and anyone that moved was killed. Once the three days of terror had ended, the Sweboz had left the area, after attracting some Alan mercenaries who replaced the fallen Sarmatian warriors.

[russia almighty]

https://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o221/russiaalmighty/perfect%20insanity/RomeTW2008-03-2221-08-15-21.jpg

After marching across what seemed like endless steppe, the Sweboz host found them self in somewhat familiar territory. It was wooded, somewhat, not to a skilled ambushers liking, but for the Sweboz warriors, it was familiar and calming to them. The land also had hills, a nice break from the near endless, flatness of the steppe.

Word came that they were upon a very large town, much larger than the one they sacked in a land they learned was called Parthia. It was actually walled, and it was supposedly rich. They gave the city no warning and began to besiege it.

---

Inside the city.

"Sir, we are surrounded!" One of the guards said to Paktroles.

"Have the Parthians finally invaded?"

"No sir, it isn't them, or Seleucia, it is somewhat entirely all together. I haven't seen anyone like them."

Paktroles got into one of the towers and looked out. He saw what looked liked a group of Steppe warriors, Scythicans most likely. He then saw another group in odd armor, beginning to dismount and felling trees to make battering rams. They had hoisted a standard of crimson, with some sort of white symbol.

"Warn our men that we are besieged."

---

"Order the Thanes to the walls." Balthaz said to a runner.

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The fighting was much easier for the Thanes. Most of the enemies were peasants, or wore some sort of harden cloth armor, which was easily penetrated by their iron swords.

"What are these monsters!" Patrokles said, before charging with his retinue into the thanes. The 4 thanes who actually took stabs at him, do not know who landed the killing blow, all that they know is that he was already dead before his horse had collapsed.

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Balthaz and his band considered settling down in Marakanda, which was the reason why they did not kill any of the people living there. The land was good, and a lot of trade came through the area that could be taxed. A dark man on what was called the silk road told them of a place even further east, that truly had walls that reached to the sky and that was filled with riches.

Thus, the Sweboz band, got up, and left Marakanda behind, for whatever treasure was in the east.

[Laevex]

This is really good fun.
Love the raping an pillaging and it's interesting how your conquests don't seem logical on the map because your foreign army is behaving as such, simply marching until they find a town and pillaging. As an EB player I would have taken that southern Parthian province before starting a war with Baktria, but a Sweboz general in this situation wouldn't be thinking like that. So congrats for putting this mindset across, even if it was accidental.
Do they even know the difference between Parthians and Baktrians?

[russia almighty]

Raping and pillage, at least to Kophen is the goal, though Marakanda was going to be settled in originally. Now that you mention it, I've got a few holes to touch up (Balthaz has the like foreigner's trait. I probably should have mentioned that he actually knew the Iranian dialect the Sarmatians speak... somewhat, from a Sarmatian who had stayed in his "town" for awhile back in Germania).


They know the Baktrians fight like them, mostly on foot, though the extremely rich are mounted. The Parthians are like their Sarmatian allies.

[russia almighty]

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Kophen, held a den of Iranian warriors. They wore terrifying face masks; they were easily beaten by the Thanes of Balthaz. Like Marakanda, the population of Kophen was spared of being raped, stabbed, and pillaged to death. Kophen, would serve as the main base for incursions into India; for right across it was Taksashila.

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That was the city with the walls that reached to the sky that the merchant told Balthaz about. It did not take much convincing for the place to be invaded. Already though, back in Germania, whispers of there successes were starting to make it's way back....

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Thus, the long siege of the town begun. Some friendly locals who were kicked out of the city made siege weapons for Balthaz; making it easier for his Thanes to storm the walls.