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View Full Version : Gah! Help Me, Please!


Vladimir
03-24-2008, 20:35
Americans only!

I think I'm turning into a closet Frenchman. :shame:

It all began during the recent French elections which I followed more closely than our current primary race. Then Louis (who I suspect is really an influence agent for the DGSE) begins to sway me with his elegantly worded and (deceptively) pro-American statements. Now I'm starting to type things like endeavour and other words I'm too ashamed to mention.

I need :help:

:unitedstates: SHOCK AND Y'ALL, SHOCK AND Y'ALL:unitedstates: :cowboy: :gah2:
Don Corleone
03-24-2008, 20:45
M'eh. Just read some of DeGaul's speeches from the early to mid 60's, and you'll be right back with the program. That, or watch some Jerry Lewis... and ask yourself if they're really supposed to be the masters of culture they claim to be, where on Earth does he come in?

*Note: I've been a closet Franco-phile for these past 5 years, I just didn't care for Chirac all that much... an opinion I believe that was widely held within France itself. :france:
Crazed Rabbit
03-24-2008, 20:58
Quickly eat some fast food hamburgers and be polite to strangers! That should be enough of a shock to your system.

Go to a gun range and shoot various firearms (but don't use silencers, they're easier to obtain in France than the US!).

Eliminate superfluous U's from your writing, and read Tom Clancy books.

That's phase 1 of the program.

CR
Goofball
03-24-2008, 22:18
Just make sure you chase your burgers with Freedom Fries, not their evil French cousins...
Crazed Rabbit
03-24-2008, 22:26
Well, that goes without saying. We Americans decided long ago to start doing away with foreign subversion of our culture through foodstuffs, delicious as they may be. Also, didn't the Belgians invent fries?

CR
Lemur
03-25-2008, 05:19
Damn those Belgians with their anti-freedom waffles!


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/Invade_France.jpg
CountArach
03-25-2008, 07:33
I too am shamed to admit something similar...

But I am becoming American...

The other day I spelt labour without the "u". I'm so ashamed :shame:
Mouzafphaerre
03-25-2008, 07:52
.
No way! :end:
.
Fragony
03-25-2008, 10:15
I think I'm turning into a closet Frenchman. :shame:


For the love of god stay in it or you will be a real one!
Vladimir
03-25-2008, 13:04
Damn those Belgians with their anti-freedom waffles!


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/Invade_France.jpg

Lemur, you're a genius! It's all the Belgian beer I've been drinking! Oh I'm doomed, doomed doomed doomed. :devil:

On second thought :thinking:, if the road to my demise is such a pleasant drive I'll enjoy what I can until the end. I still despise the beret and will keep shaving my armpits, err, wait...

Maybe I can be Belgian instead of French. The Belgians run Europe, right? Thanks everyone.
InsaneApache
03-25-2008, 13:55
I fail to see how learning to spell English correctly could lead you to becoming a Frenchman, although I do understand the sentiment, alarm and distress that could ensue from such a emotive response. :clown:
Kralizec
03-25-2008, 14:00
Americans only!

I'm here now...can I get amnesty?
Vladimir
03-25-2008, 15:29
I'm here now...can I get amnesty?

Sorry, SORRY. Americans and Dutch. :2thumbsup:

Now I just caused you to be despised by most of Europe. :laugh4:
Fragony
03-25-2008, 15:48
Americans and Dutch. :2thumbsup:


Damn straight.
Andres
03-25-2008, 15:53
The Belgians run Europe, right?

Yep :belgium: :knight:
Husar
03-25-2008, 16:03
As a true multicultist who is half dutch, half german and american and german in spirit I think that's a great development, Vladimir! :laugh4:
There's no need to fight it, the more views you have on the world the better, if only your countrymen would follow your example, we could finally add the USA to the EU. :2thumbsup:
Vladimir
03-25-2008, 16:08
There's no need to fight it, the more views you have on the world the better, if only your countrymen would follow your example, we could finally add the USA to the EU. :2thumbsup:

And then watch the brown stain form in Russia's pants! Hah! :laugh4: :2thumbsup:
Geoffrey S
03-25-2008, 16:09
The Belgians run Europe, right?
Missing an i in there.
Fragony
03-25-2008, 16:36
:belgium: :knight:

How on earth did he miss
master of the puppets
03-25-2008, 19:06
If you really want to feel American get your wife/girlfriend to take a look at your **** and praise it for it's size and ability over and over again until you truly believe you are the greatest example of man in the world. Proceed to watch many war movies, eat junk food and go get into a brawl at your local bar (not pub, B-A-R).
Feelin American now right? we will continue the training later.
Vladimir
03-25-2008, 19:16
If you really want to feel American get your wife/girlfriend to take a look at your **** and praise it for it's size and ability over and over again until you truly believe you are the greatest example of man in the world. Proceed to watch many war movies, eat junk food and go get into a brawl at your local bar (not pub, B-A-R).
Feelin American now right? we will continue the training later.

Pfft, I don't need a girlfriend for that. I contract that sort of work out. All cash and done discreetly :2thumbsup:
spmetla
03-25-2008, 22:55
Just watch Team America World Police, it'll have you singing praises of America in no time!
Evil_Maniac From Mars
03-25-2008, 23:03
Quickly eat some fast food hamburgers and be polite to strangers! That should be enough of a shock to your system.

Go to a gun range and shoot various firearms

So you're saying he should become a Canadian? I shall never understand your logic.

~;)
Big_John
03-25-2008, 23:44
france is a fine place. be happy, there are worse closet nationalities one could fall prey to.