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Theodotos I
03-26-2008, 17:08
I just have to ask, why are the Gaesatae so dagburn weak? I mean, they are taken down so easily by missile fire, and their performance in melee is nothing spectacular. Not considering their cost, and their long, unbeaten record in history. I mean, everyone knows that they should be about eighteen feet tall, carry a sword four yards long, and run twice as fast as normal units. They should be able to send men spinning through the air. Certainly the EB team is intelligent enough to realize that any missile short of a 16-inch shell to the chest is incapable of stopping these drugged fanatics! I certainly hope this situation is rectified in 1.1. :clown:

EDIT: I have seen so many LS and "Celtic Over-powered" threads that I thought I would hit it from the other angle. :laugh4:

Strategos Alexandros
03-26-2008, 17:28
You're supposed to wait until April! :smash:

Titus Marcellus Scato
03-26-2008, 17:39
And on that subject, why isn't Beowulf in EB?

Really enjoyed that film, I think the Rebel leader in Skanda should be called Beowulf.

;)

blitzkrieg80
03-26-2008, 18:30
you can get the Gaut (Geat) ethnicity trait... if only we had 'troll-slayer' as a trait... sounds good for EB2 :grin:

and there is no 'story-butcher' trait for that ass who made Beowulf ~:( c'mon - Grendel's mom is hot? that's so freaking stupid!

Maximus Aurelius
03-26-2008, 18:32
Curiously this is an Gaesatae UNDERPOWERED thread instead of OVERPOWERED (witch we all love and cherish). They are weak against missiles because they are, well naked. And I really can't agree with you that they are weak in combat.
With witch units did you battle them?

Edit: sorry didn't read your post to the end. Never mind the above

blitzkrieg80
03-26-2008, 18:45
theoretically, they shouldn't be killable unless you decapitate their head... also one might be able to stake them to the ground so even in undeath they're unable to get up, the source of 'vampire-stakes'.

also, they are killable if you wait until their body metabolizes the psychodelics, after they're done humping corpses... but sometimes they just drink their own / each others' urine and 'warp-spasm' all over again. in this case, you must distract them with a very large mustache... that's the only thing proven to work.

btw, shouldn't there be a special reform trait like 'has seen the shroom'? :grin: that would be great

Hax
03-26-2008, 18:53
I just have to ask, why are the Gaesatae so dagburn weak? I mean, they are taken down so easily by missile fire, and their performance in melee is nothing spectacular. Not considering their cost, and their long, unbeaten record in history. I mean, everyone knows that they should be about eighteen feet tall, carry a sword four yards long, and run twice as fast as normal units. They should be able to send men spinning through the air. Certainly the EB team is intelligent enough to realize that any missile short of a 16-inch shell to the chest is incapable of stopping these drugged fanatics! I certainly hope this situation is rectified in 1.1.

Well, in 1.1 they're 6 feet tall and shoot lightning from their hands and fireballs from their arses.

Strategos Alexandros
03-26-2008, 18:58
I want to know how he managed to test them against 16inch shells.

Visitor13
03-26-2008, 19:01
Well, in 1.1 they're 6 feet tall and shoot lightning from their hands and fireballs from their arses.

You have access to 1.1 :no:

(points finger at Hax) He has access to 1.1 ~:mad

Get him! :charge:



The knowledge that some people can play 1.1 already is enough to turn me into a Gaesatae, no shrooms needed.

Moros
03-26-2008, 19:18
That's the reason they're 80 men a unit in my EB (instead of a mere 60).
I'm playing Rome, btw.

Jaywalker-Jack
03-26-2008, 20:30
I was sure this was a joke thread :beam:

Hax
03-26-2008, 20:33
The knowledge that some people can play 1.1 already is enough to turn me into a Gaesatae, no shrooms needed.

Don't make me go Rhodian Slinger on your two hitpoints!

...oh wait, we're not supposed to tell that unit is in 1.1?

Crap.

Visitor13
03-26-2008, 20:38
Don't make me go Rhodian Slinger on your two hitpoints!



Yikes, I need to put my pants back on to protect my two hitpoints from the bad man and his bad rocks...

Nirvanish
03-26-2008, 20:38
My inside sources have revealed to me that in 1.1 a unit of Gaesatae will be given the ability to combine to form.............

DEVASTATOR!!!!
http://associazioni.monet.modena.it/glamazonia/mij/cronologie/p-z/imm_p-z/transformers-devastator_c.jpg

Watchman
03-26-2008, 21:21
I think they somehow used the vanilla Oliphant model to pull that off. :cool2:

Moros
03-26-2008, 22:15
I was sure this was a joke thread :beam:
Yeah I think so too. I was serious as hell though.

Emperor Burakuku
03-26-2008, 22:36
That's the reason they're 80 men a unit in my EB (instead of a mere 60).
I'm playing Rome, btw.

I also play Rome ATM. Are you sure you mean UNDERpowered? I mean even when I totaly rout the rest of their army and I manage to encircle them with strong units like like 2 Triarii and 2 Extraordinarii (against one one Gaesatae) they still manage to make more casualties then they should.... or then I suppose they should in that certain situation. I've also noticed that less costly is to get 2 or 3 slingers behind them when they engage your line. But of course, most of the times that cannot be done. So... I'm asking myself... if I spend all this time thinking how to make these guys history... is weather I have a problem, or maybe, just maybe they're not UNDERpowered. BTW, I'm not saying they're overpowered, they're just strong, tuff, naked lads on drugs.

cmacq
03-26-2008, 22:38
I just have to ask, why are the Gaesatae so dagburn weak? I mean, they are taken down so easily by missile fire, and their performance in melee is nothing spectacular. Not considering their cost, and their long, unbeaten record in history. I mean, everyone knows that they should be about eighteen feet tall, carry a sword four yards long, and run twice as fast as normal units. They should be able to send men spinning through the air. Certainly the EB team is intelligent enough to realize that any missile short of a 16-inch shell to the chest is incapable of stopping these drugged fanatics! I certainly hope this situation is rectified in 1.1. :clown:

EDIT: I have seen so many LS and "Celtic Over-powered" threads that I thought I would hit it from the other angle. :laugh4:

If they don't like the missiles, then they'll have their fight in the shade...

Korlon
03-26-2008, 22:39
It's a joke thread man.

They're just fine the way they are. It's like a rock-paper-scissors relationship. Just hit them with missiles or keep them away from your men with phalanxes. Don't get your infantry in hand to hand combat or they'll slaughter you tooth and nail.

Tarkus
03-26-2008, 22:57
theoretically, they shouldn't be killable unless you decapitate their head... also one might be able to stake them to the ground so even in undeath they're unable to get up, the source of 'vampire-stakes'.

also, they are killable if you wait until their body metabolizes the psychodelics, after they're done humping corpses... but sometimes they just drink their own / each others' urine and 'warp-spasm' all over again. in this case, you must distract them with a very large mustache... that's the only thing proven to work.

btw, shouldn't there be a special reform trait like 'has seen the shroom'? :grin: that would be great

Funny as hell, dude...thanks for the late-afternoon guffaw (the folks around me in my "second office" coffeeshop may be rather confused or frightened by my outburst...screw 'em...:2thumbsup:

Emperor Burakuku
03-26-2008, 23:27
Ups I feel stupid now... It's a joke thread... damn I did it! Forget what I said... damn it! WTF is wrong with me not reading all the post? Damn it! I feel like swearing like Cartman now, damn it! Always read all the post damn it!

Reno Melitensis
03-27-2008, 19:08
I completely disagree with you that the Gaesatae are underpowered. Whenever I fight against gauls they will be the last standing on the field, and do a lot of damage, especially against my front line of Hastati and Hastati Samnitici. And then one cant forget that these maniacs fought nacked.

Cheers.

Hax
03-27-2008, 19:15
It's a joke thread man.

Yes.

jabarto
03-27-2008, 19:21
I was thinking...maybe the problem could be solved by giving the Gaesatae another hit point and .33 lethality, and then giving powerful units to the factions surrounding Gaul to compensate - say, head hurlers for the Casse, Arcani for the Romans, and berserkers for the Sweboz? :yes:

Long lost Caesar
03-27-2008, 20:47
I was thinking...maybe the problem could be solved by giving the Gaesatae another hit point and .33 lethality, and then giving powerful units to the factions surrounding Gaul to compensate - say, head hurlers for the Casse, Arcani for the Romans, and berserkers for the Sweboz? :yes:

and how about bull warriors for the spaniards? :laugh4:

Strategos Alexandros
03-27-2008, 20:54
and how about bull warriors for the spaniards? :laugh4:

*sigh* Everyone knows that the Spaniards used goat warriors, not bull warriors as their best infantry, as shown by the way they would eat their opponents clothes after a battle. :furious3:

pezhetairoi
03-28-2008, 02:50
You're supposed to wait until April! :smash:

No, that's MY job! :D

cmacq
03-28-2008, 04:07
*sigh* Everyone knows that the Spaniards used goat warriors, not bull warriors as their best infantry, as shown by the way they would eat their opponents clothes after a battle. :furious3:

And I thought that what hIboz brushed their teeth with, was strong enough to do the trick?

Moros
03-28-2008, 09:29
I'm serious... ~:(

Strategos Alexandros
03-28-2008, 13:55
No, that's MY job! :D

I thought there was a competition for the first?

pezhetairoi
03-28-2008, 17:00
Nope, I got that hands down. Lorica Segmentata reigns supreme!

Disciple of Tacitus
03-28-2008, 17:09
Why does April 1st fall on a Tuesday this year?!? :furious3:

I have to wait until I get back from work to check out the forum!! :furious3:


Must ... figure... a ...way. :juggle2:

Starforge
03-28-2008, 17:27
I just have to ask, why are the Gaesatae so dagburn weak? I mean, they are taken down so easily by missile fire, and their performance in melee is nothing spectacular. Not considering their cost, and their long, unbeaten record in history. I mean, everyone knows that they should be about eighteen feet tall, carry a sword four yards long, and run twice as fast as normal units. They should be able to send men spinning through the air. Certainly the EB team is intelligent enough to realize that any missile short of a 16-inch shell to the chest is incapable of stopping these drugged fanatics! I certainly hope this situation is rectified in 1.1. :clown:

EDIT: I have seen so many LS and "Celtic Over-powered" threads that I thought I would hit it from the other angle. :laugh4:

The person responsible for this post....should be sacked! :hmg:

pezhetairoi
03-29-2008, 02:12
Sacked, dragged into a dark alley, beaten with seven kinds of hell while still sacked, and left in the dark alley. ;D

Theodotos I
03-31-2008, 18:29
I want to know how he managed to test them against 16inch shells.

I didn't have to. Read this quote from Julius Caesar's "Commentary on the Atlantic War"

"Julius Caesar watched the naked barbarians from the bridge of the S.PQ.R. Apollo as they charged down the beaches, driving his legions back into the sea. Immediately he turned and ordered the 16-inch turrets of the Apollo to commence firing. Howbeit, nothing but a direct hit would do, and despite divebombing attacks from the Roman naptha-carrying falcons, the Gaesatae carried the day." :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

@pezhetairoi: I don't know what your problem is, I didn't touch the LS. Honest.

Metalstrm
03-31-2008, 20:12
Sorta offtopic to all this madness :D, but can anyone tell me where they got the info that the gaesatae were actually on drugs? And what kind of drugs? I imagine it had to be some sort of anaesthetic...

cmacq
04-01-2008, 04:43
Sorta offtopic to all this madness :D, but can anyone tell me where they got the info that the gaesatae were actually on drugs? And what kind of drugs? I imagine it had to be some sort of anaesthetic...

This is Madness...
...You can't handle the Madness!

This is another topic I like to stay away from. Still, because you asked, I'm going to try to be as politick as I can, which is in fact, not at all in my true nature.

Not to mollycoddle any lurking gaesophilic stalwarts, yet after a quick 'mind's eye' review of the logic, I find it impossible to be both factual and subtle. Thus, if you sincerely want to know and as I don't feel I can explain it without vexing or raising some ire (this not directed at the team, rather to the great unwashed masses of EB fans, called legion as they are many), I suggest you just PM me. If however, you're one of these 'spear-lovers' or some other random tweaker, please disregard.

pezhetairoi
04-01-2008, 06:44
@pezhetairoi: I don't know what your problem is, I didn't touch the LS. Honest.

Technicalities, I say! What's that you're wearing on you? Sure it's not touching your skin, it's touching your tunic, but still!

...ahHA! You're even wearing the matching segmentata codpiece pioneered by Hax! Nuuuuuu!

mlc82
04-01-2008, 19:06
I didn't have to. Read this quote from Julius Caesar's "Commentary on the Atlantic War"

"Julius Caesar watched the naked barbarians from the bridge of the S.PQ.R. Apollo as they charged down the beaches, driving his legions back into the sea. Immediately he turned and ordered the 16-inch turrets of the Apollo to commence firing. Howbeit, nothing but a direct hit would do, and despite divebombing attacks from the Roman naptha-carrying falcons, the Gaesatae carried the day." :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

@pezhetairoi: I don't know what your problem is, I didn't touch the LS. Honest.

I could almost swear something like that was actually in vanilla RTW...

Theodotos I
04-01-2008, 19:12
So could I, so could I, but scuttlebutt has it the naptha-carrying falcons are reserved for Empire. I can just see them flitting across the sky at Waterloo. :laugh4: