Andalusian Memory (and other poetry)

[The Stranger]

I'll post some of my poetry here, feel free to join or critisize.

My poems are mostly translations, so it may not always go as smooth.

Andalusian Memory

our heritage lingers on
in echoes of streetnames

beneath forgotten dust
on decayed bookshelves

and in the gray stones
of massive cathedrals

but only in their world
not in ours

The Season

spring is announced
in the branches

as the trees resonate
their own remorse

and cry their incapacity
upon shriveled grass

again I flee...

but now I know
where I am going to

Rain

never confuse rain with
tears of the gods

it is blood of heavens
woundedly fallen

to bring her child the
blessings of life

Crumbletongue

hoarse as the wind
speaks to shells

you whisper the sea

as sand I crumble
on your tongue

[naut]

Cool, you use free verse well. Even though they are short, they are elegant. I especially like the last one, very nice!

[The Stranger]

very glad you liked it. :)

[The Stranger]

the water of the ocean
which colours lonely
as the leafs do alike
in autumn's nakedness

I see dreams reflect
in the foamwaves as clouds
on the purplered heaven
sail by as ships

what dog howls at the night
and barks her to build miracles

[Prince Cobra]

:bow: Very well. It's good to have some poetry around. :beam: :book:

[naut]

Since simplicity seems to be the beauty here, I'll add the simplest poem I have:

Grasshopper sing,
Dance in the light breeze,
Until winter, death.

[The Stranger]

it's a haiku right? if so, it seems like the first line only has 4 instead of 5... also maybe the last line is better as Until wintery death

I don't really like haikus, and my knowledges of them is limited, but this one has potential, so it's a good one I suppose.

Why do you think simpicity is beauty? It isn't neccesarily... these poems are simple because they are translations and so I took simple poems... I hope you liked them though...

[naut]

it's a haiku right? if so, it seems like the first line only has 4 instead of 5
Most non-Japanese Hiaku's don't stick to the 5-7-5, simply because Japanese syllables are shorter, hence why I cut the syllables down, otherwise it becomes too wordy. :bow:


Why do you think simpicity is beauty?
Often people tend to get too wordy in poetry, attempting to add every big word they know.

[The Stranger]

ah I see, I dind't know that, but I already said my knowledge of them was limited.

and about that other thing, you are definitly right, it usually becomes quite bombastic... but when you write poetry for a while comments of other poets will make you loose that nasty habit. It's usually what I look at to see whether a poet is a newbie or not... but once in a while, to write a bombastic wordy poem is quite refreshing :P

[naut]

Here's one I never finished...

Greenberry Hill

I am a tall and rusty spire,
Lonely, in amongst the briar;
The brambles twist and bend,
Up and up, they do ascend,

Thorns, they jab as pins,
They burn and puncture,
At the softest, fragile junctures,
Of my unprotected skin.

Overlooked, but still overlooking,
Above the tree-line,
I stand, a monument,
To monumental failings.

And as I glimpse around me,

Often happens, I have heaps of half finished poems or a few lines that relate to nothing else. Grrrr.

[The Stranger]

try to drop the rhyme and mix those lines together... you usually get lots of funny poems that way, they may mean nothing, but it's experimenting and provocating, I do that alot... I shall try to translate one of those for you... will post it soon.

Hallucinations IV

as a swallow I wander
throug a swamp where
lions haunted by
shoesoles sing

over the canopies of
burned computers
giant mango's stab
out the ears of bottles

through the falling light
the darkness rustles
in the curtains of
my room ghosts sit

and laugh because I
stare petrified at the
mirror wherefrom strange
eyes spy on me blindly

[naut]

Sounds like a Bowie song. :beam:

The last stanza is really cool though.

[The Stranger]

thanx :)

a lot of my poetry is like that, but it's hard to translate because I use enjambes (enjambements)

[The Stranger]

Words make love

words may not be everything
but everything is nothing
without words

still they cannot heal or mend
any wound they only form a bridge
of sand that looks tough but
will always collapse beneath
your feet at the wrong moment

words may not be everything
but everything is nothing
without words

who searches for them shall
only find meadows filled with trees
of lonely air from which they
hang as dead poets on a gallow
in the middle of a wordless universe

words may not be everything
but everything is nothing
without words

words do not create a better
world but they are one on their own
with houses in which people live
and die like in any other word
(they are only apart one letter)

worlds may not be everything
but everything is nothing
without worlds

poets come from one of these words
no man knows which and I can only
guess yet it does not matter cause
someday we all go back to a place
called nowhere (in particular)

words may not be everything
but everything is nothing
without words

there words make love and lovely
babies who play among the stars
I could lie and say all is harmony
but even the words make wars yet
I think I found my home

home may not be everything
but everything is nothing
without home

love may only be one thing
but no thing is anything
without love

[Prince Cobra]

The end of "Words make Love" is quite... touching. At least I felt it in this way... :bow:

[The Stranger]

thank you :)

i personally like this part best

who searches for them shall
only find meadows filled with trees
of lonely air from which they
hang as dead poets on a gallow
in the middle of a wordless universe