Theodotos I
06-24-2008, 17:24
Once again, I must express my frustration and displeasure over the under-powered Gaesatae. It appears none of my suggestions were implemented in the release of EB 1.1, and so I repost them now in hopes that the EB2 team will take them to heart.
The Gaesatae, in their 1.0 and 1.1 incarnations, are a hopelessly weak unit which is not supported by any historical record. I quote now from Gallic Array, a recently-discovered historical work by the Roman senator Decimvs Conceitvs.
However, the fanatics charged the center of the legions, and created great panic by their size and the ferocity of their attack. Each of them stood twice as tall as ordinary men, and bulged with muscles from every side. They carried huge swords seventeen feet in length and killed eight legionaries with each sweep, often flinging the headless corpses into the air in their fury. Seeing that his legions were panicking, Consvl Gaivs Stvpidvs ordered that the onagers(that’s jackasses, people) fire large boulders into the ranks of the Gaesatae, intending to kill them all.
Howbeit, his plan failed when one of the Gauls, a great warrior named Bagatrix, was hit by one of the boulders and instead of being killed, nay rather, he picked up the boulder and hurled it back into the Roman legions, once again throwing many men to the ground. The boulder bounded through the ranks of the Romani, until it struck the mount of Gaivs Stvpidvs, bringing him to the ground. Terrified, he got to his feet and fled the battlefield, throwing away weapons and armor, and crying out that the Gaesatae were unstoppable, as in very truth they were. The rest of the army quickly followed him, and thus it was that eighteen thousand men were routed by sixty. Now if that doesn’t convince you, what will? Knowing the suspicious natures of some of the EB team, I did not quote the part of Gallic Array which speaks of the countermeasure for Gaesatae suggested by Decimvs Conceitvs. Something about dive-bombing naptha-carrying falcons. . .
This is a joke thread!!:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
The Gaesatae, in their 1.0 and 1.1 incarnations, are a hopelessly weak unit which is not supported by any historical record. I quote now from Gallic Array, a recently-discovered historical work by the Roman senator Decimvs Conceitvs.
However, the fanatics charged the center of the legions, and created great panic by their size and the ferocity of their attack. Each of them stood twice as tall as ordinary men, and bulged with muscles from every side. They carried huge swords seventeen feet in length and killed eight legionaries with each sweep, often flinging the headless corpses into the air in their fury. Seeing that his legions were panicking, Consvl Gaivs Stvpidvs ordered that the onagers(that’s jackasses, people) fire large boulders into the ranks of the Gaesatae, intending to kill them all.
Howbeit, his plan failed when one of the Gauls, a great warrior named Bagatrix, was hit by one of the boulders and instead of being killed, nay rather, he picked up the boulder and hurled it back into the Roman legions, once again throwing many men to the ground. The boulder bounded through the ranks of the Romani, until it struck the mount of Gaivs Stvpidvs, bringing him to the ground. Terrified, he got to his feet and fled the battlefield, throwing away weapons and armor, and crying out that the Gaesatae were unstoppable, as in very truth they were. The rest of the army quickly followed him, and thus it was that eighteen thousand men were routed by sixty. Now if that doesn’t convince you, what will? Knowing the suspicious natures of some of the EB team, I did not quote the part of Gallic Array which speaks of the countermeasure for Gaesatae suggested by Decimvs Conceitvs. Something about dive-bombing naptha-carrying falcons. . .
This is a joke thread!!:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4: