PDA

View Full Version : SWARM!!!



Decker
09-23-2008, 05:46
Hi all. This is my first attempt at posting a story here. I hope this is the right area to post my story :2thumbsup: Enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SWARM!!!

Have you ever had a nice outing with friends and family interrupted by an uninvited guest? Whether at a picnic, the beach, a park, or just outdoors in general? Someone or something always, no matter what, has a knack for showing up and ruining the day for you, or someone else. Sadly for me, they are small…ish, can fly, and are usually colored in black and gold.

Now these little guys that I am talking about are not the ones that make that great thing we call honey. No, I am talking about the big, war-like ones that do not die after just stinging or biting you once. These are hornets, yellow jackets, wasps, or whatever you wish to call them. These are the guys who will go out in groups to “investigate” what you are up to and who are also not afraid to land on you to take a closer look! Now, we have all seen at some point or another, a TV show on the National Geographic Channel or on Discovery about people coming under attack by whole swarms of these lethal insects. Some have been lucky enough to survive while others were not so lucky. I am a survivor.

Now the day on which I became a survivor was like any other “normal” day. It was during summer at a summer camp during my elementary school days. The location of the camp was at a park. The park itself, let me first describe, is tucked away in the hills above San Leandro. The name of the park is Chabot Park and has a pathway, only accessible by foot, that leads to the lake of which the park got its’ namesake from. This park can only be entered by a small single lane cement bridge that spans a very small creek whose flow and size change with the seasons. It is rocky and can be found meandering around the west and south sides of the park itself. From the bridge you will immediately see very tall eucalyptus trees that populate the grounds while other various types of smaller trees and brush inhabit the landscape in the shade of these behemoths. There is a small dusty parking lot on both sides of a small cement road which are marked by rotting logs. You can see from the lot facing south, a sizeable drop off leads to a small clearing where there are picnic and a volleyball court. A small aluminum slide and a small dirt/wood staircase lead down from the parking lot itself. The clearing itself is to the left of the of the slide and stairs, while to the right is what one would call brush, with logs, rocks, and other various vegetation that ranges from your knees to way above your head. That is the area of my encounter with the dreaded hornets. The rest of the camp is located in front of the lot. You will notice some a really kind of janky and unsafe looking swing set with sand and dirt below the swings while a type of climbing apparatus that resembles a half-circle like spider web type structure can be found beyond the set. Past that is a large concrete or cement slab with some wooden walls enclosing the southern portion the slab making part of it into a stage. Beyond it is a large picnic area with many tables and benches and a large grass clearing for softball or other various activities. The day was sunny with a bright blue sky, and a slight breeze, just like December 7th. No one expected an attack of any sort.

It was late morning and we had gathered on the large concrete slab to hear the counselors introduce a game for us to play. It was hide-n-seek and the counselors were to hide while us, the campers and junior counselors(or j.c.’s), were the seekers. The campers stayed and counted while the counselors ran off and hid. When we finished counting we organized ourselves into groups and went hunting. My groups of about 10 or 12 campers and a j.c. went off into the brush directly below the parking lot. As we moved into the brush I found myself at the back of the group while most were in front searching for the counselors. There was a slight pause during which I kneeled down near a log. Having fairly good peripheral vision, I noticed movement coming from the ground near me and the log, which was between me, a few others by me, and the rest of the group in front. I took interest in the movement and looked down…

The sight I saw horrified me almost instantaneously. Coming out of the ground, and from several or more holes, were hornets! And LOTS of hornets. It was almost surreal watching them exit the holes one after the other. I paused for a second to let the others know, “HORNETS!!!.... EVERYONE RUUUUUUUN!!!!” and without the slightest hesitation, everyone made a mad dash for the clearing and safety from the rather upset hornets. I am not sure how the other fared as I was preoccupied with the hornets on my arms, face, legs, chest, neck, hair, and legs. Screaming and yelling for help I broke out of the brush at a run looking up and down and all over as I searched for someone to help me as hornet after hornet continued to land on me and bite me despite my valiant attempts to rid myself of them. The looks on the other camper’s that I went to for help, was that of fear and wide large frightened eyes! I kept on running back up to the slab almost 30 yards away, up the slope that led to the concrete slab. With my adrenaline coursing through my veins, my focus was very acute and when I would look at the hornets, I could see their heads, abdomens, wings, legs, and pinchers with each one looking really BIG! Thankfully, a few counselors were in the area and rushed to my aid with some type of clothe and began to hit me and the air around me to keep the hornets off of me. The counselors then told me to take my shirt off, which I did, telling me that the hornets are going for a sent that they had probably marked me with when the attack started. As soon as I took it off my shirt, the attack stopped. And just like that, I was saved! Somehow out of the 10 or so kids in my group, I was the only one to have gotten stung, bitten, what have you. I was frustrated that the hornets liked me more than the others. I took solace in fact that nobody else had to suffer and go through that horrible experience as I did.

I had come away very lucky by most standards. A friend of mine and my parents told me that the chlorine in a pool could help heal my wounds. And the next day I took a dive in the pool and low and behold, by the third day the sores were going away or gone. Now, you might wonder if I felt any pain or itching, well I can tell you that I honestly had no trouble with the pain or itching for some strange reason? What I did gain from this incident though, was a new level of respect and appreciation of the hornets. Ever since then, I have never once, feared them as others do after such an experience. I was humbled that I escaped in near perfect health and that the hornets almost at once stopped after I removed my shirt.

Nowadays, when I am out and I encounter a hornet or a bee in any case, I am reminded of that day of infamy and how disturbing either creature can turn them against you instantly. With my “experience” I have been able to safely deal with the small gold and black bugs that haunt picnics, parks, and the outdoors.

Prince Cobra
09-23-2008, 10:26
I do not know if you have really gone through this but your story sounds very real. You make me experience your own story and sympathise you. Good work, really!

:bow:

Decker
09-24-2008, 05:17
I do not know if you have really gone through this but your story sounds very real. You make me experience your own story and sympathise you. Good work, really!

:bow:

I actually did. This was the first time I ever put this story into words. I'm glad that you enjoyed it :2thumbsup:

Riedquat
09-26-2008, 13:12
Ouch! A single word for you....Napalm! :grin:

Very nice reading!

Let me tell you something, your shirt smelled very but very bad, at least to hornets standards, all of the species in the genre are very susceptible to smells and fragrances, anything can do the trick to provoke a massive attack, deodorant, soap, lotion, transpiration, pheromones; but there is something with a particular smell that cause panic to them, the smell of the smoke usually makes them flee... of course always exist one of them too slow to understand the relation between smoke and fire and keep attacking but most of them will flee no matter what.

Decker
09-27-2008, 20:35
Ouch! A single word for you....Napalm! :grin:
Haha I don't think that would've stopped them!


Very nice reading!
Thank you very much :2thumbsup:


Let me tell you something, your shirt smelled very but very bad, at least to hornets standards, all of the species in the genre are very susceptible to smells and fragrances, anything can do the trick to provoke a massive attack, deodorant, soap, lotion, transpiration, pheromones; but there is something with a particular smell that cause panic to them, the smell of the smoke usually makes them flee... of course always exist one of them too slow to understand the relation between smoke and fire and keep attacking but most of them will flee no matter what.
That may be true but it didn't help it that we walked/ran right over their nest :wall: Found out the hard way lol :sweatdrop:

Monk
09-28-2008, 02:14
Hey Decker! Welcome to the Mead Hall!

Reading your story I caught a couple things that you may want to consider for your next writing attempt, ect. Firstly when you are writing it is best to avoid "You", as in you the reader. Sometimes it can work, for instance, when you break the fourth wall to give a comic spin or something. Generally though, you is something to avoid.

Which brings me to Perspective. The reason you avoid you is because changing perspectives can at times confuse the reader. So it's best more often then not to stick to one perspective. For instance the majority of your story is told from First-person ( I ), which is good! But one thing you don't want to do is switch perspectives mid story (From I to you), this is why you avoid using you as it will force you to switch to second person.

Third person is my favorite and is definitely an option to use, as well as first, but my advice would be to avoid second at all costs. It's just not very good for writing as a whole and, imo, will force you to switch perspectives quite often if you focus on second.

Please don't take this criticism the wrong way, I think your story is quite good. These are just a few things to think about. Again, welcome to the Mead Hall!

~:cheers:

Decker
10-02-2008, 04:07
Glad to be here Monk! :medievalcheers:

Thanks for the heads up about that Monk. I personally love to write (mainly for school purposes) so any way to improve my writing is welcomed :2thumbsup:
I think I forgot to mention that I had wrote this for my English class. It is supposed to be a narrative story, so that is why I used the you in it. I think next time I post a story, I'll specify the perspective I'm writing in :beam:.

And thanks again for welcoming me here!

:medievalcheers: