On Conquest! [Archive]

King Henry V

11-13-2008, 18:11

Let me first say that I have seen my fair share of attractive women. However, there have been few, very few, whose beauty has as been arresting as that of one particular girl whom I have recently noticed. And, oh Great Lord Above, what a girl! I cannot even begin to describe her heavenly attributes, but I shall nevertheless try. A shapely figure, a cute, delicate face, soft, brown eyes, ears that one can hardly stop oneself from nibbling, a profile to rival Florence Craye (cookie if you know who she is) and luscious light-chestnut coloured hair, worn in a bun to reveal her neck. And oh, what a sweet, sweet, neck, long and slender; a neck one could gaze at for hours!
Fortunately, I have been afforded the chance to do so. She goes to the same university as me and we attend the same classes. I have noticed her because on three seperate occasions over the past week, fate has placed her in one of the rows directly below me in the auditorium. I must admit that I feel like some simpering, dumb-struck chum out of a P. G. Wodehouse novel.
My problem, however, is this: I wish to approach her, but there are several obstacles in my path. Firstly, my class is made up of 500 people, so it is very difficult to get to know people. Students file into the auditoria for class, and file out again as soon as the bell rings, and I only know the people who are old school mates of mine. Consequently, I know absolutely nothing about her: her name, her origin, whether she's already with someone, even what language she speaks (it's a very international lot here) are all a mystery.
I also go to one of the most anti-social universities imaginable. The Students' Union is a joke, concentrated mainly on their preposterous political posturing rather than organising anything remotely fun. Hence, there are no university parties or get togethers. Classes are mostly in the afternoon and evening, so there's not even the chance to sit at the same table as her at lunch time.
Finally, there is that most redoutable obstacles for the adventurers of the heart: the rather plain best friend. In former times there was usually a myriad of chaperones to ward off the potential cavaliero, and most have swept away in the name of sexual liberation, but there still remains that limpet-like companion, practically denying all chance of a quiet tête à tête.

Any thoughts from the Tavern's seasoned bunch of romancers?

seireikhaan

11-13-2008, 18:21

Items needed:

1) Club

2) Cave

Steps:

1) Sweep plain friends away with force.

2) Apply club to stated female's cranium.

3) Bring stated female to cave.

End o' story. :toff:

Strike For The South

11-13-2008, 18:51

Alcohol, always have alcohol with you.

On a more serious note, Make sure you sit around her allot and then just start talking about the class. It doesn't even have to be to her. Just start talking to the people around you and eventually it will perk her interest. She will more often than not join in ESP if the class is interesting or difficult. From there you have servral avenues. More often than not it is best to just keep at talk as this lets her know you are "safe" which women like. Then you can start talking about study groups or coffee or whatever it is you Euros do for fun.

Dont be nervous around her either. The whole finding that cute thing is a lie (just like anything else women say :wink:) People dont like nervous and they especially dont like nervous in a perspective mate

Be proud to dont make her you world and dont give her to much attention early on that is just creepy.

Then agian she may not take on in which case I shall tell you there are many more fish in the proverbial sea and to catch them you need Booze!

I just gave romantic advice on a forum I feel odd.....

Yoyoma1910

11-13-2008, 22:34

A bit of advice. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh9ZZgDqzAg)

Incongruous

11-14-2008, 00:44

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

Take one for the team my man:yes:

Alexanderofmacedon

11-14-2008, 01:16

Force a meeting. That's the only way. Make it on accident; needing help with something in the class or dropping something like that.

"Hey could you help me with that pencil? Thanks....by the way my name is ____. Oh great nice to meet you"

Then keep it up. If you rest on the one meeting and too much time passes the hard work will have been in vain. Good luck dear friend, she sounds like a nice one! :2thumbsup:

Yoyoma1910

11-14-2008, 01:28

Actually, probably the best way to disarm her, and make quick friends with her is like this:

Find out if you have mutual friends. If you do, get yourselves acquainted. If not, make friends with a friend of hers, and then get acquainted.

The acceptance of you by people she trusts will allow her to trust you easier. Otherwise she might just think you're some creep who stares at her neck all day while you sit behind her on the bleachers.

And do not obsess!!!! All people need their space.

Alexanderofmacedon

11-14-2008, 02:24

And do not obsess!!!!

This is the key. For some reason women believe a guy who pays less attention to them is the one they want. Not the one who would wait hands and knees for them...

...and this is the downfall of many, including myself. :wall:

Decker

11-14-2008, 02:25

I just gave romantic advice on a forum I feel odd.....
You're from Texas... how's that odd :inquisitive: jkjk

And as for King Henry V-
You describe her so... so where's the picture :eyebrows: :gah:

But to be honest... just go up to her say "hi," her that you're in her classes and ask her if you two could study together on any upcoming tests or have her number or email "just in case" you "miss" any assignments or do not "understand" them... worked/s for me :2thumbsup:

Kekvit Irae

11-14-2008, 03:43

Condoms.
You know it's going to happen at some point in time, so might as well make it so that you wont regret it nine months later.

Marshal Murat

11-14-2008, 05:03

Florence Craye (cookie if you know who she is)
First time I've ever heard P.G. Wodehouse mentioned on this forum. Very impressed.:applause:

King Henry V

11-16-2008, 17:23

Thanks for all the advice chaps, I shall try to put it all to the test as soon as possible.

And as for King Henry V-
You describe her so... so where's the picture :eyebrows: :gah:

Though my slightly obsessive description of her might have given the impression that I am a dirty trench coat clad onanist who regularly stalks women, I have not quite sunk to the level of talking surreptitious pictures of her. Mainly because I don't have a camera. :laugh4:

Will keep you posted about further developments.:book:

Decker

11-16-2008, 20:19

Thanks for all the advice chaps, I shall try to put it all to the test as soon as possible.

Though my slightly obsessive description of her might have given the impression that I am a dirty trench coat clad onanist who regularly stalks women, I have not quite sunk to the level of talking surreptitious pictures of her. Mainly because I don't have a camera. :laugh4:

Will keep you posted about further developments.:book:

Was only kidding :saint:

But yeah, good luck with her :2thumbsup:

Hooahguy

11-16-2008, 21:11

ok, since were talking about relationships, i have problems of my own:

ive liked this girl for a long time. the problem is, i told her i liked her before really became friends. as of now, talking to her is really awkward. were still friends, but we dont talk much. i talk to all the other girls in my grade a lot. shes the only girl who i just cant seem to get into conversation with. i still like her, but idk what to do....
:help:

Strike For The South

11-16-2008, 21:21

Hooahguy

11-16-2008, 21:25

tried that and failed....

Strike For The South

11-16-2008, 21:33

move on

....

Alexanderofmacedon

11-16-2008, 23:13

I'd agree with SFTS, but if you really can't move on at all, there is no use in sitting by. If it's obvious the friendship is too awkward, you might as well ask once more. If you get a yes, great, if you get a no, you finally have closure. Don't talk to her anymore unless she talks to you.(in other words dont be mean, but just dont mess around if you dont have to).

best of luck

Kekvit Irae

11-17-2008, 00:01

Once you've hit the awkward zone, there's no hope. It seems to me like she's trying to avoid the subject without offending you.
As the others have said, move on.

Hooahguy

11-17-2008, 00:58

thats the problem. i cant move on. ive tried many, many times. every time, whenever i ..... think of girls...... i think of her. my mind wont let me think of anyone else.
i dont just think shes hot, i like her for who she is as a person...
god, im screwed....

KarlXII

11-17-2008, 01:12

Hate to be blunt, but get over it. Move on. Plenty of fish in the sea, as the French say.

Hooahguy

11-17-2008, 01:12

lol... ill try....

Strike For The South

11-17-2008, 01:46

Centurio Nixalsverdrus

11-17-2008, 22:51

King Henry:
When sitting behind her, tap on her shoulder and ask her a study related question. The first impression is incredibly important, so make sure to show your chocolate side. Some days later, approach her "by pure coincidence", smile at her and start talking. Or just smile and talk to her on the first occasion... Afterwards, ask her en passant if she likes to go to the canteen with you.

thats the problem. i cant move on. ive tried many, many times. every time, whenever i ..... think of girls...... i think of her. my mind wont let me think of anyone else.
i dont just think shes hot, i like her for who she is as a person...
god, im screwed....
Totally know your situation. For some odd reason, girls don't seem to appreciate it very much if you like her as a person. Girls almost always like the :daisy:-chaps. So my advice would be, be an :daisy: and ignore her. If you are lucky, some weeks later she will offer you a cookie or something like that (Really happened to me). Than do not freak out but stay reserved albeit friendly. Slowly. You cannot force anything.

Hooahguy

11-17-2008, 23:34

heres the ting: we do talk. mostly online, but sometimes face-to-face.
as of now, i talk to her. a bit. its not totally awkward, and if it is its only for her. we say hi in the hallways. were breaking the ice, after a year or so.
but its slow.
any ideas on how to break the ice with her?

Strike For The South

11-17-2008, 23:35

heres the ting: we do talk. mostly online, but smetimes face-to-face.
as of now, i tlak to her. a bit. its not totally akward, and if it is its only for her. we say hi in the hallways. were breaking the ice, after a year or so.
but its slow.
any ideas on how to break the ice with her?

Dont come off as needy. Just move on.

Hooahguy

11-17-2008, 23:39

even if i did move on, i should still try to be friends with her.....
which will be acheived when we break the ice....

Strike For The South

11-17-2008, 23:43

even if i did move on, i should still try to be friends with her.....
which will be acheived when we break the ice....

Men and women can never be truly platonic friends but hey put her on the back burner until she is comfortable with you again. I dont have a problem with that. It might happen it might not. I wouldn't lose sleep over it

Yoyoma1910

11-18-2008, 00:03

Men and women can never be truly platonic friends but hey put her on the back burner until she is comfortable with you again. I dont have a problem with that. It might happen it might not. I wouldn't lose sleep over it

Also, women are often more interested in a man if other women are also interested in him. It makes their job of figuring out if a potential mate is a looser or not easier. If you haven't been tested by another driver, how is she supposed to know you're not a jalopy?

Centurio Nixalsverdrus

11-18-2008, 00:11

even if i did move on, i should still try to be friends with her.....
which will be acheived when we break the ice....
I know it's frustrating but just wait. Be friendly, but reserved. Try to be cold-blooded about it (even though it's impossible), that will make your friendship appear more desirable. In reality no girl wants somebody who's chasing after her.

Craterus

11-18-2008, 00:46

Alexanderofmacedon

11-18-2008, 01:07

Though it's not the case for all woman, it seems from my experience many like being treated like crap. Maybe it's the effort to get the guy that makes them like it more and more. Being only 18, I think it's also possible it's a maturity thing. While some girls mature, I think most woman realize a sweet devoted man who gives them affection is the way to go.

As of now hooahguy, I have the same problem. I will not say I'm 'needy', but I have no problem devoting more than the good amount of time and energy. I've learned to just cool it. Keep excitement to yourself and treat them normally. Hard for nice guys, but not impossible. Good luck.

Centurio Nixalsverdrus

11-18-2008, 04:01

Hard for nice guys, but not impossible. Good luck.
We nice guys must always suffer for our admiration for the girl race. :no:

Alexanderofmacedon

11-18-2008, 04:44

We nice guys must always suffer for our admiration for the girl race. :no:

Until they mature, I hope.

||Lz3||

11-18-2008, 05:18

even if i did move on, i should still try to be friends with her.....
which will be acheived when we break the ice....

hum happened to me once...I had this crush with someone for 2 years or so, so when I finally I made my move, I was already in the "Friend zone" or sort of, so she gave me a plain no .

just... erase your cassette :smash:

Forget what happened, clean your mind just ignore it with all your force of will, then continue as if nothing had happened ... talk to her as if she was somone else, and if an akward silence comes... just keep talking, you'll be friends in no time :yes: (you might need time...time heals every wound)

naut

11-18-2008, 14:17

Risky. Some girls don't like the approach from behind.
Oh my. :laugh4:

Good luck King Henry V, your Uni sounds similar to mine. So damn hard to get the time or space to get into a conversation with anyone.

And hooahguy, you have to move on. If you don't I'll fly over there and make you move on. :wink2:

Hooahguy

11-18-2008, 18:24

lol. you want to come over and get into my mind? kinda hard....

Abokasee

11-18-2008, 18:48

Well, hooahguy, moving on would probably be one of the... 'wiser' decisions to make, but probably the more difficult and self harming (Mentally so), if you want to continue, you can, and I won't call you foolish.

There seems to be a slight joy I've noticed from people when they reject someone, the closer you are to them, the more joyous it is, maybe its not joy at all though, maybe they dislike going out with someone they know all ready.

Anyway, moving on is almost certainly the only thing could happen with a remotely good result. (as far a probability is concerned)

As for you King Henry V, it is not too late for you. Seize the moment, you might not get a chance like you've said again, sure theres not much time during uni, but after perhaps?

It seems to me like she's trying to avoid the subject without offending you.
Oh I hate when anyone does that, why can't anyone just say what they think.

When I try to be smart or give advice, theres a very arrogant tone in my head I simply cannot get out of there. Anyway, I shall resume normal, manically-depressed lunatic orgah soon.

Strike For The South

11-18-2008, 18:49

Abokasee

11-18-2008, 19:10

its the opposite way cowboy.

Ummm... Enlighten me on that paticular response? I do not understand.

Unless of course you mean: If you do continue, bring at least 15 Bottles of your preferred alcohol, in which case you are absolutely correct.

Strike For The South

11-18-2008, 19:11

Ummm... Enlighten me on that paticular response? I do not understand.

If he keeps pining for her it will hurt him allot more mentally.

Yoyoma1910

11-18-2008, 19:35

Alright gentlemen, this is the current estimate of the world's population of women:

3,330,201,077

I'm assuming your in high school, so lets say women across the world in your potential dating range (not necessarily at this moment, please do nothing rash) are:

15-19: 292,128,544
and
20-24: 284,446,368

That's a lot of women for you to choose from. Get over it, and get to work. :whip: Make some little Hoohahbabies.

Thermal

11-18-2008, 19:43

do bring a pack of playing cards, for love and murder....

Hooahguy

11-18-2008, 21:12

i plan on directly confronting her on why we dont talk too much, then work with her to figure out a way to make it less akward for her to talk to me.
would that do more harm than good?

Decker

11-18-2008, 21:15

i plan on directly confronting her on why we dont talk too much, then work with her to figure out a way to make it less akward for her to talk to me.
would that do more harm than good?

Maybe if you did it in the nude...

Hooahguy

11-18-2008, 21:16

that a joke? :beam:

Decker

11-18-2008, 21:22

that a joke? :beam:

No... :no:

This is serious business get with it ~:mad

Yoyoma1910

11-18-2008, 21:25

i plan on directly confronting her on why we dont talk too much, then work with her to figure out a way to make it less akward for her to talk to me.
would that do more harm than good?

It sounds like you're trying to make the situation more awkward.

Hooahguy

11-18-2008, 21:32

maybe. but i should definitly tell her that my intentions are only to be friends, not anything else (as of now).
that should help, i guess.

Yoyoma1910

11-18-2008, 21:43

If you're going to be direct and confrontational about it, why lie?

Just go the whole way and get it over with, rather than drag it out.

If she's not interested in you now, what is going to change the situation? Is she dating someone she might break up with? Are you planing on changing your personality? Lifting some weights maybe?

Hooahguy

11-18-2008, 21:46

shes not dating anyone, and she just broke up w/ someone a month or two ago.
so i dunno....
EDIT: and ya, im working our and stuff......
when i rip that shirt off at the next dance i wont be that flat stomach anymore! :beam:
but the key is that i just want to be good friends with her, before anything else....

Yoyoma1910

11-18-2008, 21:55

Alright,

How long was she dating the other person? Give her a week or so of recovery per month of relationship.

When you go in to tell her, "You simply want to be friends," use a neutral, low key social situation to talk to her about it. And don't force the issue. Start off with something light, maybe ask her how she's been, since you haven't seen her in awhile. Feel out whether she's willing to address what you actually want to talk about. Don't make her deal with it if doesn't want to.

Megas Methuselah

11-18-2008, 22:29

Oh, wow. King Henry is creeping me out with his stalker-like description, as others have previously pointed out. :clown:

Anyways, this is for you, Hooah. I've never been involved in a serious relationship, so I would have to agree with others on the following advice: Move on. However, you're a little stubborn about not doing so, therefore I'll think of something else.

[previous advice removed]

EDIT: Hmm. Now that I really think about it... Perhaps you should just casually talk to her, as you previously suggested. It requires a lot of thought, though. Taking into consideration that you want to be good friends with her first, then yeah, I would approach and say something along the lines of, "Hey, how's it going? I haven't heard from you for a while!" You should ensure, though, that there's at least a week or so of no direct contact beforehand. It makes your approach seem more legitimate.

Anyways, if she says no when you eventually ask her out, then so be it. Just move on and do what I do, casually hopping from girl to girl. I can guarantee that it's really fun. :smile:

Yoyoma1910

11-18-2008, 22:34

If she says no, then so be it. Just move on and do what I do, casually hopping from girl to girl. I can guarantee that it's really fun. :smile:

Eh, it gets boring. :coffeenews:

Megas Methuselah

11-18-2008, 22:45

Well, I'm still young and enjoying the great fruits of life! It's not boring, yet! And it wouldn't be for Hooah, he's still younger than me! :laugh4:

Hooahguy

11-18-2008, 23:04

Craterus

11-19-2008, 00:16

Oh my. :laugh4:

I was actually being half-serious. :shrug: Something about trust issues.

Abokasee

11-19-2008, 17:26

If he keeps pining for her it will hurt him allot more mentally.

Thats what the booze was for!

Anyway, normal Abokasee will resume shortly...

Yoyoma1910

11-19-2008, 18:15

Well, I'm still young and enjoying the great fruits of life! It's not boring, yet! And it wouldn't be for Hooah, he's still younger than me! :laugh4:

Age has nothing to do with it. For all choices in life their are effects and repercussions.

Hooahguy

12-02-2008, 01:56

i did it! i somehow got her out of my mind!
yay, im so proud!

Yoyoma1910

12-02-2008, 03:41

Yay!

Now you can fill it with thoughts of some other trollop... Er, I mean beautiful young lady. ~;p

Kekvit Irae

12-02-2008, 04:52

i did it! i somehow got her out of my mind!
yay, im so proud!

Buy a subscription to WoW. She, and any other girls, will be just a distant memory. :tongueg:

Alexanderofmacedon

12-02-2008, 04:59

Buy a subscription to WoW. She, and any other girls, will be just a distant memory. :tongueg:

That is a bad idea....

Oh master thread starter how goes this quest?

Hooahguy

12-02-2008, 13:12

Yay!

Now you can fill it with thoughts of some other trollop... Er, I mean beautiful young lady. ~;p
already have a girl in my sights....

my grade is having its own winter formal event so ill ask her out to that.

Hooahguy

12-03-2008, 13:17

anyhow, how should i proceed with this girl? unlike the last one, were in many of the same classes together (enlish, hebrew, forensics), so we have more subject matter. :beam:

im assuming that i should take it slow, and not ask her to be my gf just yet- wait a few months....
am i right in doing this? i dont want her to become like the last girl i liked....

Yoyoma1910

12-03-2008, 17:08

already have a girl in my sights....

my grade is having its own winter formal event so ill ask her out to that.

Look at you, you little Romeo. One minute you're professing your never ending love for one girl, the next you've tossed her aside for some other girl, and a winter dance.

Young love, how sweet and fleeting.

Honestly, I don't think I ever started a lasting relationship through a formal event, so you're on your own there kid. When the school activity was the first date, it just didn't click in that kind of setting. When it was enjoyable or successful, I either already had a girlfriend or was there with some friends. But then again, everyone is different.

You might try and feel her out (not up) over something less structured and formal first.

But anyway, if you sit around waiting for the right way to do something, you'll miss your chance to do anything.