AntiWarmanCake88 Comedey Corner!

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Welcome to the AntiWarmanCake88 Comedy Corner at the Swissland Castle 2_5_2! :crown::pokemon:


You may talk here about anything funny. Jokes, Videos, quotes and so on (under forum rules please :yes: :clown:)!



Enjoy! I start it off!




POLISH DIVORCE

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend of the circumstances, and
asked him the following questions:

Lawyer: Have you any grounds?
Man: yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
Lawyer: No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?
Man: It made of concrete.
Lawyer: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
Man: No, we have a carport, and not need one.
Lawyer: I mean, what are your relations like?
Man: All my relations still in Poland.
Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Man: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?
Man: No, I always up before her.
Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?
Man: No she white.
Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?
Man: She is going to kill me.
Lawyer: What make you think that?
Man: I got proof.
Lawyer: What kind of proof?
Man: She is going to poison me. She brought a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says: "POLISH REMOVER".

[Hooahguy]

what is missing from rap?

the "c" in front of it
:laugh4:

[Kekvit Irae]

Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?
Man: No she white.

:inquisitive:

[LeftEyeNine]

Well, The Org 's rules conduct that racial slurs, no matter what the context is, are not tolerable. Please act more responsibly with your words.

:bow:

[Strike For The South]

As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.

Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.

In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, "If that's the way you want it, you can keep your bloody ice creams!"


-----

Signs you need to cut back

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

3. Job interfering with your drinking.

4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

5. Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

7. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

8. 24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case - coincidence?

9. Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

10. You can focus better with one eye closed.

11. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

12. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

13. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

14. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

15. At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

16. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

17. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you walk in.

18. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Women.

19. Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.

20. Roseanne looks good.

21. Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

22. That stupid pink elephant followed me home again.

23. Senator's Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.

24."I'm as jober as a sudge."

25. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

---------------

[Lemur]

I'm sure a thread like this could be fun. But when it starts out on a Poles-versus-naggers note, I don't see how it's going to get to funnyville.


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