On guard sah!

[PershsNhpios]

Since I've tried it's been a while,
Since I challenged in my style,
For an Orgah reply,
In an Irish cry,
To outshine the common bile.

[Pannonian]

Since we're here it's been plain
That the common refrain
Is not to fill these halls with art
Nor clever discussions start
But to spam like crazy in the main

[PershsNhpios]

Hmm,
Only one has tried here,
One could surely shed a tear,
Lack of zest,
For poetic quest,
Has made ye dull I fear.

[desert]

I checked out the Frontroom today
and what should I happen to see,
but a man with no hat,
who wouldn't admit that
limericks are totally gay!

[PershsNhpios]

Most daring of you fine sir!
To give the pot a stir!
But the second line..
It undermines,
The quality of your slur..

[Novellus]

Stopped by to check out this thread---
And an idea popped into my head
That I'd sit here and rhyme
And waste all my time....
I probably should head off to bed....

[PershsNhpios]

Now you see this is the sort,
Of chap who makes good sport!
His rhythm charms,
There's nought he harms,
And his verse is finely wrought!

[desert]

Upon further and closer inspection
You'll find that my rhyme reaches perfection.
Speak with accent if you may,
Pronounce "see" like it's "say";
Plus, your gaffe earns your charge a rejection!

[Lemur]

That rhyme was as forced as 'twas weak,
Your defense was quite tired (nay, peaked).
"Reaches" untied
The scan of your line,
Replace it with "is" and it's tweaked.

[Vuk]

Now this my friends is true sport,
And with company true,
I'll craft speech above the common sort,
As I have seen you do.

[desert]

Oh, so that's how it is; now I see.
But I feel that I must inform thee
That your style I denounce,
And your verses I'll trounce;
At your own risk do you challenge me.

PS: It's called syllable count, biatch! :D

[Novellus]

Our thread that Glenn wrote was once tame....
But now it's turned itself to flame,
A battle it is, and my comment on this:
"Relax, dudes! It's only a game!" :laugh4:

[PershsNhpios]

Lemur is right good Des',
You're without luck I guess,
Be not dismayed,
'Tis how it's played,
And of my gaffe I confess.


Do you think, Lemur, that you,
Can simply edit the few,
Who do come in,
And do begin,
To bravely fight anew?

I wouldn't mean to spite,
But something isn't right,
With Vukie's part,
It hasn't art,
Nor has it Irish might.

I will take this last as commentary,
As one not in the pit,
But it would be complementary,
If you limericked here with wit.

[desert]

Glenn, I must confess, I do wonder
if you haven't commited a blunder.
I had always believed
Any lim'rick conceived
Must also be a double entendre.

[PershsNhpios]

Where is my blunder then?
When succeded you, when?
You haven't found,
The syllable count,
So smoothly as young Glenn!

[desert]

Glenn, I must confess, I do wonder
if you haven't commited a blunder.
I had always believed
Any lim'rick conceived
Must also be a double entendre.


Instead of non-sequiturs posting
And of non-existent triumphs boasting:
Make tame your inflection,
Address my objection,
For the good of the thread you're hosting.

[PershsNhpios]

I refuse to address your objection,
Unless you make a correction,
To the fluency,
That 'scapeth from thee,
And leav'th thee in dejection.

[desert]

Ha! Twice now have you stalled in fear
after I had made my point clear;
your response reflects poorly
on you, says "oh, surely
his total defeat is quite near!" :whip::yes:

[PershsNhpios]

There's no use in smileys and blight,
If you can't limerick to fight,
Not once I see,
Have you answered me,
With a rhythm true and right.

[The Fuzz]

I found myself logged into the .org by chance-
and quickly adpoted a skeptical stance.
But I view this limerick with malice
and thus, present to you my phallus
I trust its size puts you in a trance?

[PershsNhpios]

I am so glad you learned to string,
Your words together with sting!
But 'phallus' can't rhyme,
With malice in time,
They are two different vowels to sing.

[Novellus]

The size of one's own matters not
When his syllables conflict a lot
Though your phallus is large
You'll never take charge
When you cram all your words in one spot!

[The Fuzz]

Oh dear! and **** my life-
I had not meant for my ineptitude to cause strife!
Please accept my humblest apology
and try once again to examine my phallus' biology!
And no you cannot call it "a little fife"!

[PershsNhpios]

Now you aren't even trying,
And about other things you're lying,
If it were so large,
You'd be in charge,
Of a bed, and not here spying.

[The Fuzz]

I have learnt in my many years
that too large a size induces tears
It is my blessing, but also my curse,
to own a phallus that puts people in a Hearse;
now try to disarm me with your pitiful smears!

[desert]

Well now, Glenn, I'm afraid you are boned.
You are beasted; my friend, you are pwned.
Fuzz's watching my back,
Now we're on the attack!
Further stalling will not be condoned. :skull:

[PershsNhpios]

You are shameless! Silly and slack!
You've lost any poetic knack!
I know not of your snake,
But the verses you make,
Would have anyone flat on their back!

[Reverend Joe]

There once was a man from Nantucket,



...Darnit, how does the rest go?

[Lemur]

That's strange, I would swear that I heard
Your manhood was sized like a bird's;
All tiny and tender,
Return unto sender!
It's best neither seen nor heard.

[desert]

Indeed, Fuzz is hung like a bird.
*Beep* so huge that it's quite absurd.
Lemur set himself up;
He is merely a pup
When compared to Fuzz - oh my word.


http://scienceblogs.com/clock/upload/2006/07/avian%2042.5cm.JPG

Hehe http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/enviro/EnviroRepublish_366856.htm

[PershsNhpios]

It's obvious Des' is in bed,
With his precious long newly-wed,
He kindly praises,
The piece he raises,
No doubt with his mouth on the head..

Enough of that subject. Be not so crude.

[desert]

You see? A reply so coarse,
Does indicate perforce,
That Glenn is quite charmed by
Aspersions disarmed by
Their lack of actual force.

[Vuk]

Your hostility is very peturbing.
And then there is your peversion,
Which I find very disturbing.
Let's just end that discussion.

I do not know what a "limerick" is,
So if my lines are not quite right,
And are not like his,
On this subject, please shed light.

[Caius]

Please my friend,
let me put this to an end,
there must not be agression
as soon as we make a prossesion
to the mods we kindly thank
for not attacking us with a tank.

[desert]

This wasn't the foreseen result.
In enmity I don't exult.
But unfortunately,
Rhymes can only be
Used as an inventive insult.

[PershsNhpios]

That can't be true at all,
If indeed you might recall,
Many are made,
In the comic grade,
Of third person without the gall.

[desert]

Then I will assume that a puma
Will catch its death in icy Bruma,
And a chocolate canary
That at first seemed so scary,
Will assemble the very first Duma.

[Reverend Joe]

CARRY ON, MY WAYWARD SON,
THERE'LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE,
LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD TO REST,
DON'T YOU CRY NO MORE!

[Thermal]

Oh please, a jest, a common curse
No peace for me I need a nurse
Insomnia from dusk till dawn
Just where are my sleeping pills?

[Megas Methuselah]

Don't take those pills, you'll lose your wood,
And will not bang a girl good!
Take these (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/album.php?albumid=53&pictureid=936) instead to enjoy your bed,
And let your girl give you head!

[Thermal]

My my I need not that other pill
The pill that kills!
So the night won't surrender to pleasure
But your desire
To have me deader!

[Megas Methuselah]

Deader?

But the nights are for fun,
And from the girls you musn't run;
They will surely lick you clean.
Whether you be fat or lean,
It matters not so far as they care,
So long as I, Methuselah, am there.

So let's stay up all night, little Ares,
And go get some pretty, juicy berries!

[Togakure]

Indeed, Fuzz is hung like a bird.
*Beep* so huge that it's quite absurd.
Lemur set himself up;
He is merely a pup
When compared to Fuzz - oh my word.


Now how would you know this, I wonder?
Have both of them torn you asunder?
They say a loose lip,
sinks many a ship,
ye should abandon your boat on this blunder!

[Megas Methuselah]

Don't change the subject, hated foe,
For we were talking about a pretty hoe.
I urge you now, under pain of death,
To build on the topic started by Meth.

If you don't, I will kick and scream,
And use clever thoughts in a scheme,
To blacken your name on the wondrous Org,
So your reception will be as cold as a morgue.

[Togakure]

Don't change the subject, hated foe,
For we were talking about a pretty hoe.
I urge you now, under pain of death,
To build on the topic started by Meth.

If you don't, I will kick and scream,
And use clever thoughts in a scheme,
To blacken your name on the wondrous Org,
So your reception will be as cold as a morgue.
My rep's already black as sin
most senior dweebs have not but scorn
I'm likened unto cheapest gin
my posts ignored like soft-core porn

The cool thing is I am not fazed
by derision from snobbish churls
the question is, why am I crazed?
to hang out here with nerdy gurlz

[Megas Methuselah]

Nerdy chicks are so gross,
With their greasy hair and their fat.
It's a party I won't host
If they're present, oh those rats.

In this world of sex and lust,
Those greasy girls won't put out.
Your manhood will surely rust,
If you hang with them, you lout!

I tell you now, man to man,
Listen to me, I'm the one,
I've thought up the greatest plan:
From those girls you must run.
Your rep is brutal like Genghis Khan,
Make it shine as the sun!

If you do this, you'll lose the nerds,
And the hotties will flock to you.
But like all the bees and the birds,
The'll say you're ugly, "Phee-ew!"

:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

[Che Roriniho]

I Enjoy Haiku
But I can't do the last line
Refridgerator

[Thermal]

Refrigerator
Oh the closet of indulgence!
There we store a chocolate trifle, wide and tall
Get plenty, get eyefuls, gobble it all! hear it call!
The coolest sensation sliding through your throat,
But wait! thats mine and you ate it all! :furious3:

[Caius]

How funny is this,
some people need to kiss,
for those any girl comes good,
if they are in the mood.

[Megas Methuselah]

Electronic Arts!

Yea, I am rude
And also quite crude.
I am Megas Methuselah;
People stare at me, saying "Gah!"

Now remember: sweet is a kiss.
But if it's something you miss,
In your anger, do not join a raid
As it's nothing compared to being laid.

[Thermal]

What sexual desire does ye have?
Aren't you tired of slang?
Stop thrusting ye pelvic muscles!
It makes no sense to bang!

[Megas Methuselah]

Oh, you're a foolish little boy.
Out the window your lego's must you hurl,
and get yourself a real toy:
A sweet, hot, charming, and nice-smelling girl.

[Thermal]

I like my lego leave me be,
Plastic blocks, not well placed rocks!
Oh do continue to embarrass me,
I look at you and I don't see the flocks!

[Thermal]

Though I'm a disaster at limerick
I hate this thread to go
and If I fail to revive it, I fear I may be sick
so make my words flow
because I feel so low
without this art
and without your rhyme
I have no heart and I can't speak, so I mime

[desert]

Pools closed.

:no:

[PershsNhpios]

By god this is a mess,
My thread - a pit for 'cess!
This pool's not closed,
But it's supposed,
To have a nicer dress.

You blighters haven't tried,
To refine your poetic side,
You've nothing honed,
You've only moaned,
About the girls you've spied.