View Full Version : Back to the Future
satalexton
03-21-2009, 09:43
If somebody gone 88 miles per hour on a DeLorean and kidnapped a Hellenic Academic from say...Alexandreia (they got a huge library there) of 272BC back to our time, how would he react to our world? How would he react upon knowing that the romans will be their overlords within 200 years? how would he view our 'barbaroi' nations of 'keltoi', like 'Arche Amerikana'?
saxonbattlemask
03-21-2009, 09:50
he would be pissed off
He'd want to be sent back so that he can try and unite the Diadochi against the Romans.
Macilrille
03-21-2009, 10:45
At that time Hellenic historians were already showing Romans some attention = They saw a power rising.
What makes you think he would want to go back instead of relish all the sci we have now?
antisocialmunky
03-21-2009, 13:59
Be arrested as pedophile and be marked as a sex offender.
Aemilius Paulus
03-21-2009, 14:03
Sooo, I suppose you have just finished watching the Back to the Future series eh? Why else the sudden outburst of an idea, as witnessed by this thread?
My guess is that the poor lad would most likely be so overwhelmed that he would succumb to some psychological disorder, which is quite common thing for the brain to do when it senses that nay further overload would result in a total psychological collapse or a heart attack/stroke.
Aurgelmir
03-21-2009, 14:41
I dont know what he would do first,the second thing he would do...is checking out our weapons,and go back with them.
Inmagine greek hoplite´s with pump action shutguns.
A Very Super Market
03-21-2009, 17:27
They wouldn't be hoplites after learning that GUNS MAKE SPEARS USELESS.
I doubt he would be overwhelmed into a catatonic state. I don't think the Greeks, especially an academic were that close-minded.
Aurgelmir
03-21-2009, 17:47
[QUOTE=A Very Super Market;2182569]They wouldn't be hoplites after learning that GUNS MAKE SPEARS USELESS.
unless they combine them both....i would
A Very Super Market
03-21-2009, 17:53
A bayonet would be rather useless against the armour they had back then, unlike LEAD. :clown:
satalexton
03-21-2009, 18:31
Would the Hellene think we're overtly naive/stupid for 'inventing' the idea/excuse/illusion of 'human rights'? =/
now if phalangitai were armed with the phalanxCWIS mini-guns......*evil grin*
Aurgelmir
03-21-2009, 18:33
A bayonet would be rather useless against the armour they had back then, unlike LEAD. :clown:
but they would not use it as a bayonet....
inmagine that the greek history dude comes back from the future bring in a ship load of shutguns,and tells his comrades...lay down your weapons...for i have new ones.
Of course you as a warrior/hoplite would not trust such weapons...so you combine them,to use them both....
And a bayonet is a rather small blade attached to a rifle
the spear is still longer,compared to a shutgun....so this 2 weapons attached...is NOT a bayonet:2thumbsup:
So i guess they would call them hoplishut´s
Cambyses
03-21-2009, 18:35
One thing for certain though, he would be just as addicted to EB as the rest of us...
A Very Super Market
03-21-2009, 18:36
...........
But you could just shoot them....
I would totally trust it if "Nameless academic" walked out and destroyed 10 Spartans.
What you do is you take a tank and make a huge platform mounted on the front so a phalanx could form up on it.
PHALANGITAI TANKGITAI
antisocialmunky
03-21-2009, 21:56
You know if he played EB without playing any other crap. He would probably complain about how unhistorical it was.
Aurgelmir
03-21-2009, 22:49
What you do is you take a tank and make a huge platform mounted on the front so a phalanx could form up on it.
PHALANGITAI TANKGITAI
:laugh4:
The only thing is,how does he get it back in a delorien?
The EB team would kidnap him and make him a historical consultant.
soup_alex
03-21-2009, 22:55
You know if he played EB without playing any other crap. He would probably complain about how unhistorical it was.
I sometimes fantasise about time-kidnapping somebody with a little knowledge from the period of the Hundred Years War and exposing them to "Bladestorm: The Hundred Years War"; all in the name of science, of course.
e.g. Conduct an experiment into effective means of stimulating massive involuntary vomiting in subjects (um, from the time of the Hundred Years War).
Onehandstan
03-21-2009, 23:46
I think the biggest things for him would be cars, electricity and plastic.
Hey AP!
Guns of the Diadochoi, amirite? :laugh4:
satalexton
03-22-2009, 16:12
omg, u just made me think about MSG4....with an aged hypaspitai wearing an eye patch....
now, really, would somebody actually try to consider the slightly more serious issues? (other than the fact that the hellene might try to kill u with his xiphos for kidnapping him)
We know what happened.
After Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, they took Socrates back to Greece. He didn't do anything to change history.
Or did he?
antisocialmunky
03-22-2009, 18:30
Depending on what paradox resolution you go with, he probaby tried to tell everyone about what he saw and they throught he was crazy and forced him to kill himself. :-p
Ibn-Khaldun
03-23-2009, 16:49
Not only do I see this "Back to the Future" trilogy about once a day because my 2 year old son loves it(:dizzy2:) I have to read about similar thing in here too!! :wall:
Reverend Joe
03-23-2009, 17:12
:weirdthread:
Aurgelmir
03-23-2009, 17:26
Its more....a fun topic..not weird
A weird topic is...when i tell you that the moon is only 12000 years old
artaxerxes
03-23-2009, 18:06
Not only do I see this "Back to the Future" trilogy about once a day because my 2 year old son loves it(:dizzy2:) I have to read about similar thing in here too!! :wall:
hey admit it, it's a hilarious series... i must admit to owning the boxset and being very happy... but yeah, probably once a day would make me sick and tired too ;) once every few months is good... EB is better...:laugh4:
I suspect that our Hellenic Academic would rapidly succumb to one or more diseases he has no immunity against, because they do not exist (or have a very different antigen) in his time. Same as we would probably get very ill if we were to go significantly back in time for an extended period.
Feyr Tehl
03-23-2009, 20:03
Has no one thought of instead of bringing back someone from 272 BC to our time period, of just going there, take books on what happened and battle tactics and maybe a maschine gun or two :juggle2:, and just completely owning the whole world.:bandana:
The second you do that the books on what happened become useless, or very weird.
In any case. you can only carry so much machine gun ammunition. Taking a good recipe for gunpowder will probably do the job for anyone who really doesn't respect causality.
Or how about a book on sailing and a collection of potato recipes?
Feyr Tehl
03-23-2009, 21:23
Why not just bring the a pistol. Shoot five Spartans with five shots. Everyone bows down to your might.
The Fuzz
03-23-2009, 21:34
Best first reply ever, I reckon.
But as a tip, never ask this question on a history forum. People enjoy saying snide things about lack of immunity and the like. :P
If one traveled back in time to 272 BC one would be raped by smallpox and other diseases.
Also, missile weapons.
Aemilius Paulus
03-24-2009, 01:06
If one traveled back in time to 272 BC one would be raped by smallpox
We still get vaccines for that. I have a scar on my arm to prove it.
Not in America we don't. They stopped giving it like 30 years ago.
That said, Russia wouldn't be planning on DOING anything with that heavily guarded smallpox sample they still have, would they? Something that relies on the children of the other nations not being immune to said disease? xD /JK
A Very Super Market
03-24-2009, 02:39
Smallpox wasn't the biggest problem back then, for sure...XX
satalexton
03-24-2009, 02:46
I was thinking of this while going to work...if we're kidnapping the academic anyways....why not STEAL as much scriptures as we can from the Library of Alexandreia? surely the EB team would like to get their hands on those =D
Why not just go to just before the fire occurred and put it out when it starts?
Are there any books or movies about this subject? Where a guy from ancient times gets teleported to the future? I've already read one where nuclear physicists from the 40s do it, but what about before then?
And don't say Samurai Jack.
The Fuzz
03-24-2009, 03:40
There was that one where the kid got sent to King Arthur's court... and the one with peasants ending up in New York or something..and that one where Heath Ledger played rock music.
Beyond those, no. :P
Aemilius Paulus
03-24-2009, 03:51
There was that one where the kid got sent to King Arthur's court
Huh? Are you talking about the Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court?
Actually, there are hundreds of marvellous books on such subject. Just search the Internet for them. They are very interesting too. However, quite a bit of those books feature the opposite situation: a modern man is transported into the past. All this aside, alternate history is my favourite fiction books genre. My favourite author is Harry Turtledove. Check him out, his books are heaven on earth for a history nerd!
satalexton
03-24-2009, 08:48
question for the EB team, if u can steal something from EB's timeframe using the DeLorean, what would it be?
Note, you only have 2 pieces of Plutonium, meaning only ONE round trip.
I personally would want to try an ancient greek cuisine in their equivilant of a high-class restaurant. =P
Cute Wolf
03-24-2009, 10:14
If I back to 272 BC, maybe I just try to sit down in a High Level Academy in Athenai. Beat every philoshopers on math, chemistry, and physics. "Invent" many things.... electiricity, lightbulb, aeroplane, and fireworks, and many more.... (I will do it because I will get a high position in academia... I beat their professors in math, physics, and chemistry)
After that, hold an International Seminar on Peace for all of Greeks, and get every Greeks a full academic mainframe..... So they will do a compulsory education rather than conscription.....
satalexton
03-24-2009, 10:23
so the romans, keltoi and other barbaroi can invade when everybody's geeking around? no wai
SwissBarbar
03-24-2009, 10:39
I would visit a great battle, like Gaugamela and then ride in front of alexanders army and shout "I'm Zeus, go home or I will destroy you with lightning and thunder! And then shoot one of them with a gun , just to show that I really have lightning and thunder ^^
Hmm, and then I would switch to Cannae, doing the same with the Romans saying I was Iupiter.
muaaarrrrharrharrharr.
Cute Wolf
03-24-2009, 11:34
@ Swiss Barbar
I would visit a great battle, like Gaugamela and then ride in front of alexanders army and shout "I'm Zeus, go home or I will destroy you with lightning and thunder! And then shoot one of them with a gun , just to show that I really have lightning and thunder ^^
And Alexandros will almost guaranted to took his kopis, and charge towards you.... and kill you (I don't believe that you have enough reflex to dodge him...).... then, he will proclaim "I have Killed Zeus.... Oh my god... but then, now I am god of thunder". He will pick your gun and all your ammunition, and then all the Greeks will bow down to him more sincrely... (since they, and he himself) believe that Alexandros kill Zeus!!!! WTF?
@ Saxtakleton
so the romans, keltoi and other barbaroi can invade when everybody's geeking around? no wai
Well, I will actually sent some invitation letters for some Roman Scholars..... and some Senator's boys... and flattering the Romans with every flattering available.... so the only problems is the Keltoi... Well lets pay some Legionary to invade Keltoi's lands in exchange for a gunpowder recipe...
There was that one where the kid got sent to King Arthur's court... and the one with peasants ending up in New York or something..and that one where Heath Ledger played rock music.
Beyond those, no. :P
I think I saw the first two. Well, the second one definitely. It was pretty funny. Then again, I was like 9 when I saw it.
The first one I think I saw in 6th grade history class. Is that the one where the kid tells King Arthur to "chill out" and gets caught by the King's daughter doing martial arts katas in his boxers with a visible erection?
My favourite author is Harry Turtledove. Check him out, his books are heaven on earth for a history nerd!
Did you not see
Hey AP!
Guns of the Diadochoi, amirite?
Turtledove is merely OK. And I thought you didn't like secks?
Tyrfingr
03-25-2009, 00:42
I would bring my laptop. By the time the extra batteries were out, I would made sure I was worshipped as a living god beyond question and live the rest of my life with on an island with lots of beautiful and promiscious girls...
MarcusAureliusAntoninus
03-25-2009, 03:38
Or, more likely, you would be burned as a witch/demon/elf/geni/etc.
soup_alex
03-25-2009, 03:55
Is that the one where the kid tells King Arthur to "chill out" and gets caught by the King's daughter doing martial arts katas in his boxers with a visible erection?
What.
Really, this sounds like possibly The Worst Film.
Also, you saw A/The Knight's Tale when you were 9? Damn, that film's only... four years old? No. Maybe older... erm... more like eight. I have to see this again, bad as it was, as I can't recall Alan Tudyk's role.
[edit: you weren't talking about A Knight's Tale, were you?]
satalexton
03-25-2009, 04:56
Or, more likely, you would be burned as a witch/demon/elf/geni/etc.
now really, they cant be -THAT- xenophobic can they? If you hide your Delorean well, you're just a funnily dressed barbaroi with a very powerful weapon to them...
MarcusAureliusAntoninus
03-25-2009, 05:10
now really, they cant be -THAT- xenophobic can they? If you hide your Delorean well, you're just a funnily dressed barbaroi with a very powerful weapon to them...
It is human nature to fear that which you don't understand. If you posed any form of a thread to a people and seemed to have strange power, they would probably kill you if they thought it in their power.
Owen Glyndwr
03-25-2009, 05:54
What.
Really, this sounds like possibly The Worst Film.
Also, you saw A/The Knight's Tale when you were 9? Damn, that film's only... four years old? No. Maybe older... erm... more like eight. I have to see this again, bad as it was, as I can't recall Alan Tudyk's role.
[edit: you weren't talking about A Knight's Tale, were you?]
I think that one is the one being referred to. All I remember is that the kid was a Baseball Player, and battled baddies while using roller blades. Pretty funny because my friends and I were just talking about this movie about a week or two ago.
And I think it's probably much older than eight years old, probably more like 15 (I think it was from the early or mid nineties).
And I have often though about things like this as well, aren't "what if" games like this just oodles of fun? One I like to do is to think what people from the past would think of modern music (or not so modern, I suppose). I know for most new-ish music, the previous generation tends to find it absolutely scandalous, but what about 5, 10, or even 20 generations ago (or more).
However, I tend to find myself in the "completely overwhelmed by technology" camp. I believe there was a "The Grimm Adventures of Billy and Mandy" episode in which Billy unfreezes a "caveman" and proceeds to show him the future, only for the primitive man to freak out and go on a rampage, or something along those lines.
A Very Super Market
03-25-2009, 06:01
Yes, but thats a caveman. Poorly defined species that definitely isn't Homo Sapien.
An ancient Greek philosopher might be shocked yes, but not to debilitation. Perhaps more "irrational" for lack of a better word, people would start wheezing on the floor, but why would the most free-thinking people at that time do so?
Cute Wolf
03-25-2009, 07:33
Well, if that Philoshopher was still under 25 years old, maybe he will study math and physics as well as possible, and get a scholarship in Cambridge... Then, he will consult his experiences with Stephen Hawking
I believe there was a "The Grimm Adventures of Billy and Mandy" episode in which Billy unfreezes a "caveman" and proceeds to show him the future, only for the primitive man to freak out and go on a rampage, or something along those lines.
Oh lol. A :balloon2: for you.
"Yabba dabba...YABBA DABBAAAA!!"
And the movie I saw when I was nine was about this knight and his squire who get teleported into the future after the knight is made to kill his new wife through the sinister application of hallucinogens. In the future, he meets the descendant of his wife or something like that and they get married later, I'm not sure. It was a comedy, at any rate. My favorite moment was when the squire eats some of the soap they have in public urinals and describes its delicious flavor, and then one of the modern people tries it and enjoys it as well.
Aemilius Paulus
03-26-2009, 00:38
You guys are all lowly, slow witted plebs. :clown:. If I went back in time, I would steal/trade as much gold as I could get my hands on and bring it back.
I could also bring some artefacts, but those are usually too large to fit in a car. So gold will have to do it.
Gold isn't even worth that much.
Bring back all the lost plays of the tragic poets and the 90% of all the histories and treatises written that we don't have (but know of from later allusions and references), and the entire world will literally get on its knees before you.
I mean, how much gold could you even bring back? $100000 worth? A little more?
Aemilius Paulus
03-26-2009, 01:22
Bring back all the lost plays of the tragic poets and the 90% of all the histories and treatises written that we don't have (but know of from later allusions and references), and the entire world will literally get on its knees before you.
Yeah right, no chance of that. I have only one round trip as satalexton said. I would love nothing more than to bring all that stuff back, but seriously, one trip to the coffers of Rome (just to make sure, I will travel to a time at the end of the Flavian dynasty or after Trajan's sacking of Dakia) and my DeLorean is full of gold. At the same time, it would take me forever to get hose lost works back.
[quote=desert;2187418]I mean, how much gold could you even bring back? $100000 worth? A little more?
Gold isn't even worth that much.
As for its value, remember one thing: as currencies inflate and economies go down, gold goes up and vice versa. Today is a good time to sell gold. Most current price, March 25th (today), is approximately $30,210 (give or take $50) USD for a kilo of gold. Just checked it. And remember, gold is very heavy, since it is dense. One kilogram of gold is much smaller than you may think.
I doubt it's like in cartoons, where there are just loads of treasure lying around. I doubt you'll just find blocks of solid, Fort-Knox-style gold.
The treasury will be full of coins, which will have their own antique value, but will require providing an explanation to the relevant authorities. And what? You can't stuff the car full of slabs of stone?Those are much smaller than you may think. :clown:
A Very Super Market
03-26-2009, 01:31
If you flood the market with gold when no one is in a position to buy it, its value goes down and screws things up. Not a very good choice.
Knowledge of the ancient times would prove far more useful
Aemilius Paulus
03-26-2009, 01:50
If you flood the market with gold when no one is in a position to buy it, its value goes down and screws things up. Not a very good choice.
Who do you think I am? An idiot? Economics is one of my major interests. The Economist, a magazine largely about politics and economics, is my favourite, and I subscribe to it. I have numerous college textbooks on economics. And it does not take someone like me or Keynes or Geithner to understand what you said. I am not going to sell it all at once. Finally, I doubt a DeLorean could hold as much as a ton of gold.
Knowledge of the ancient times would prove far more useful
I have pondered philosophically on that many times. I have yet to come up with a definite conclusion. That "knowledge" may be simply our curiosity. Not to mention, read my previous post. According to satalexton, I can only take one round trip.
I doubt it's like in cartoons, where there are just loads of treasure lying around. I doubt you'll just find blocks of solid, Fort-Knox-style gold.
It was partially blocks, but mostly coin, yes. And it was loads of treasure in a single room. There were a multitude coin-filled chests. Also, it had numerous artefacts as well, exquisite artefacts made of gold. All that would fetch countless dollars.
but will require providing an explanation to the relevant authorities. And what?
Huh? I will say I dug it up in my backyard/ it is a family heirloom ("I am a descendant of Russian nobility" - or something like it). Good enough. Or I will sell them in Russia, on the thriving black market, where no one will ask ;) I will also refrain from selling all at once. Seriously, selling such things is incredibly easy. Majority of countries have strict laws regarding archaeological treasure, but yet finding a willing buyer is as easy as Fall Gelb.
A Very Super Market
03-26-2009, 01:57
Pfft.
One round trip is nothing.
Fine. Take your gold. You could probably just have hid it somewhere and dug it up it when you come back. It isn't like it'll dissolve. Waste of plutonium.
What else can you do in the past but learn about them when there are first-accounts, instead of dusty, worn articles that might just be ancient wikipedia?
Well, you can't devalue the market with just a trunkful of gold.
But really - it WILL be difficult to sell thousands of coins, perfect coins that look like they were minted a decade, and not millennia, ago.
Think about it - a few slabs of stone for the common good, or coins?
Personal accounts and beliefs wouldn't be worth that much anyway, because they basically are the equivalent of ancient Wikipedia. They would be interesting, though.
And digging up gold that might have been discovered in the last 2000 years, finding the exact place and extracting the gold from 20 feet underground...all that takes money and attracts notice.
Aemilius Paulus
03-26-2009, 02:38
But really - it WILL be difficult to sell thousands of coins, perfect coins that look like they were minted a decade, and not millennia, ago.
Look, for all I care, I will melt that crap down. But that is not necessary. I could make a secret deep hole in the some building that I know exists today as ruins, and unguarded. I leave the coins and gold artefacts there, where they will naturally age. Problem solved. I have the benefit of hindsight. I know which buildings will survive onto the future. And hopefully, my small heist will remain relatively unnoticed, and will not change history much.
A Very Super Market
03-26-2009, 02:45
There. Back to my point.
What do you do now? It isn't like it takes a ridiculous amount of time to steal something when you have a gun.
There. Back to my point.
What do you do now? It isn't like it takes a ridiculous amount of time to steal something when you have a gun.
Who and what is that a reply to?
A Very Super Market
03-26-2009, 02:58
AP, who I thought was saying that his plan was to take gold back in his Delorean, and then said he was going to hide it and get it later.
The first one is very stupid, and the second doesn't require you to go directly back to the present, and I ask him what he will do now?
The "burying gold" part should be a prerequisite thing that everyone should be doing.
satalexton
03-26-2009, 04:09
:clown: am i the only one who would fish through the Library of Alexandreia looking for 272BC pr0n?
Oh god no.
One thing I've concluded from looking at Ancient Greek, Roman, and Renaissance art is that non-ugly women did not exist before 1900. Well, ok, there are a few of paintings of Venus in the 15-7th centuries that are hot, but otherwise :thumbsdown:.
Re OP:
An ancient greek sophist coming to the present would probably accuturate to our superior modern lifestyle and succumb to WoWE fever and become a 67th level paladin constantly seeking PvP rumbles at 2am.
Re this silly ancient heist thingy. Going back and getting "antiques" is a bust as pointed out because they will look brand new. A carful of gold is just silly, you add a ton to a delorean and it won't move let alone get to the rerquired 88mph. Burying treasure so you can come back and dig it up later? Good luck even finding the spot, and getting there before 2000 years of erosion, tectonic shift and treasure hunters wipe out your stash.
I love the idea of scanning the Library of Alexandria but it'd take a while and the guards might get frightened by the flash.
Best scenario would be a gate to a parallel universes various amounts of time behind ours, so you can flick across and "tinker" or just "taste" and not change the future that made you. It'd be terrible coming back from a trip to the past and realising that you trod on the butterfly that blah blah the Armada blah blah and suddenly everyone parle Espanol, ai caramba!
It depends on how you look at time travel though.
Some believe that there would be all these time paradoxes where you end up not being born, or the world is completely different because of the "butterfly effect", while others think that any changes you make in the past have already happened anyway and the present is as it is because you went back in time. Ok, I didn't explain the second one quite right, but it's a difficult thing to articulate.
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