Treehouse of Horror- Summary thread

[Askthepizzaguy]

DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD.

This is the game opening post (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=2204877&postcount=108):


The Treehouse of Horror- Large Simpsons Mafia game.

Setting: Springfield town, USA
Date: April 2009
Plot: After a series of grisly murders, the Springfield Police are baffled as to who is behind this new crime wave. The citizens of Springfield must root out and destroy the mafia themselves, while the mafia have their own problems to deal with; they still wish to destroy the town. And of course.... Sideshow Bob is on the loose once again.

More of the story will be revealed when my wrists aren't cramping up.


RULES:

Everyone has their roles. If you didn't get a role PM, send me a private message, don't do the "Hey, why didn't I get my role PM?" schtick; that will get you murdered nice and fast.

Begin Day One.

To give everyone time to read their role PMs, it is 535PM my time right now, and the round won't "officially" begin until 11:59PM tonight. Then each round afterwards will end at precisely 11:59 that day, my time (GMT-5:00, Eastern USA Daylight Savings Time), even if I am not here to end the round.

Good luck, and play a good clean game. Roleplaying is encouraged but entirely optional.

[Askthepizzaguy]

This is the Day one lynch (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=2207303&postcount=243) post:


Day One


Comic Book Guy was heading home from the Android's dungeon, when he turned a corner and saw a violent lynch mob with torches and pitchforks.

Reverend Lovejoy: "There's the heathen! Get him!!!"

Comic Book Guy: Oooh I've wasted my life. Time to run.... oh wait. I can't even walk. I waddle.

Bart Simpson: He's not cool man. I tried to buy a comic book off of him and he wouldn't sell it to me!

Comic Book Guy: Um hello you didn't have enough cash. You know, legal tender? Now if you'll pardon me I'd like to finish reading Hi and Lois, which always makes me laugh.

Otto: He's reading! He's clearly up to something evil, mannn!

Comic Book Guy: Sir, if I were up to something evil, I could have taken over this pathetic town already. I am a member of Mensa, and my genius surpasses all of your intellects combined. Can anyone here tell me precisely why I am being lynched?

Cletus Spuckler: Well yeewwww what were talkin funny about being someone whooo yew aren't.

Lisa Simpson: Yeah, and you revealed your role pm, and that's against the rules.

Monty Burns: Are we going to burn the fat one?

Waylon Smithers: Uhhh yes sir. I've spoken with our lawyers, and they found out that mob rule is still legal in this town, ever since the Terwilliger administration.

Monty Burns: Excellent. This lollygagging graphic-novel reading slovenly layabout should make a fine addition to my collection of wild animal throw rugs. I'll call this one the "plush fatty" and use it in the master bathroom, for you to wipe my feet on when you're done giving me my daily skin scraping and sponge bath. Now fetch me some Cold Duck, post-haste, so we can celebrate the festivities!

Aristotle Amidopolis: Quite right! This TOWN should LYNCH this disgusting fat lazy pig, or I am not voiced by the venerable Jon Lovitz! That's RIGHT! They call this.... ACTING!!!

Kang: Mmmm.... delicious Earthlings...

Kodos: Yes, let's eat the fat one....

Comic Book Guy: WHY don't you shaddap-a-your face-a????

.......

Springfieldians: "Huh???"

Comic Book Guy: It's a me, Luigi Risotto. I own the Luigi's ristorante. We serve-a you Pizza and pasta, and we also tell-a you how ugly your face is. You don't tip worth a darn, and you leave-a your-a screaming babies inside-a my place of business and it hurts-a my customer's ears. And let me tella you something: You may have captured me, but you will never capture my-a boss. I work for the....

*a shot was fired, and Luigi Risotto, AKA Comic Book Guy, was shot dead before he could utter another word.*

No one knew where the shot came from, but the mafia obviously didn't want to be revealed by one of their soldiers. There were so many people in the crowd, it was difficult to determine from which direction the bullet came.





Alive: 39


777Ares777
AVSM
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Captain Blackadder
Chaotix
Death is Yonder
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Fixiwee
GeneralHankerchief
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Greyblades
Ichigo
Ituralde
Jolt
KarlXII
Khazaar
LittleGrizzly
Lord Winter
Navarro
NorthNovas
Olavi
Psychonaut
Quintus.JC
Reenk Roink
Sasaki Kojiro
Shinseikhaan
SplitPersonality
Taka
TheFlax
Tristan de Castelreng
Warman
White_eyes
YLC
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (1)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)



________________


Begin Night One. All orders to me by midnight April 13th, my time (GMT-5) You have roughly 23 1/2 hours.

[Askthepizzaguy]

This is the Night one murder (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=2208447&postcount=289) post:

Night One


Greetings, Bob.

This is your brother, Cecil. I trust you are enjoying your freedom from prison? Not spending ALL your time at the Opera are you? You might as well get it over with and marry the fat lady. Speaking of which, has the fat lady sung for Springfield yet? I understand you're going to strike fear into the hearts of the pathetic fools of this town by murdering a sweet and innocent little boy. How barbaric. Well, older brother, you were always the one who was willing to get his hands dirty. You may have escaped from our shared cell but if it weren't for your big feet getting in the way, I would have as well. So you owe me, brother. When you murder everyone in Springfield, come break me out of this rat-infested cage. And do send me some rat poison and a couple of hundred bottles of Lysol, and some sanitizer-wipes. I'm not as used to prison as you are brother, and this place is filthy. Do you know that the janitor only washes my toilet bowl THREE times a day?

Utterly repugnant service here. The crab cakes here are made by a chef who is... ugh... American. Entirely uncultured bunch of rednecks. Just because we are American, that doesn't mean we can't act like Europeans. I didn't spend four years in Princeton to be flipping burgers behind a prison lunch counter. Kill them all, dear brother... kill them all.... and laugh while you're doing it.

Bonne chance, cher frère.

-Cecil Terwilliger


Murder number one:

Homer Simpson was sitting at home watching Monday Night Football... (in April? Of course. Haven't you ever heard of the Springfield Football League? It's like the NFL, except for just Springfield State and parts of Canada)...when all of a sudden:

........*static*

Homer Simpson: D'oh!!! What's wrong with this stupid thing now? Lisa! The TV's broken again! Get your butt down here!!!

......*crackling noise* (The television set sputters back to life)

Homer Simpson: Oooh the TV fixed itself. Heh heh heh. (hugs the TV) let's never fight again. Mmmm.... TV..... *gurgling noise* Television: Teacher, mother... secret lover! Rowrrrr....

Sideshow Bob: Greetings, foolish people of Springfield. It is I, Sideshow Bob, here to once again exact my revenge on you for locking me away in your vile prisons.

Homer Simpson: Oooh revenge! This ought to be interesting.

Sideshow Bob: For tonight's entertainment, I will be executing an innocent, darling child, live on this wonderful media of television. You lazy American fools like to watch fake violence, don't you?

Homer Simpson: Damn straight! OOOOH Maybe he'll kill the boy...

Homer's Brain: No, don't kill the boy. Just strangle him for a little while.

Homer Simpson: Whatever you say... as long as I can keep killing you with beer, we're all set.

Sideshow Bob: "Citizens of this podunk little town filled with uneducated rednecks, I now present for your viewing pleasure: The Death of Milhouse Van Houten!!!

Milhouse: Help! Bart! I think this guy is serious. Where's my glasses?

Homer Simpson: About time they got that little snot. He's such a dork. Heh heh heh. Look at that little wiener squirm!

Sideshow Bob: The method of murder.... tonight, I'll go with a classic. Just a simple, quick, painless slice of the neck. Nothing too overly brutal for you.

Homer Simpson: BORING!!! Oooh look my beer is empty. Marge? Can you get me another beer? .....MARGE!!!! Oh fine I'll get it myself.

Sideshow Bob: On the other hand... I could always pretend you are Bart Simpson... and take out some of my frustrations...

Milhouse: Can you tell Lisa Simpson that I.... I..... Love her?

Sideshow Bob: Oh rest assured, you little twerp, if I ever find her, I will destroy her for thwarting my many brilliant schemes. She's on my list, right after Bart.... Bart... Bart... BART SIMPSON!!!

*Sideshow Bob goes into a blind rage and stabs Milhouse over and over and over again, live on camera*

Homer Simpson: What did I miss? Oh look the football game is on. Sweet.



Sasaki Kojiro (Milhouse Van Houten) is dead.

Murder number two:

Marge Simpson: I would like to speak to Mayor Quimby, please.

Secretary: Let me connect your call, please hold.

Marge: Of course!

Male voice: This is "Diamond" Joe Quimby. How may I uh... be of service?

Marge: This is Marge Simpson. I am calling because you ordered over one thousand pretzels from the Pretzel Wagon for your inauguration, and according to my records, you didn't pay. Would you be willing to make a payment over the phone or send me a check?

Quimby: Actually, I uh... thought my assistant was going to err aahhh handle that. Right now I am uh... polling the electorate.

Unknown female voice: (giggles)

Quimby: Quiet, Porche.

Marge: I'll have you know, mister Mayor, that my family needs that money and will be very upset if you don't send us the money. PLEASE, PLEASE send us the money.

Quimby: Can I pay you in singles, sweetie?

Marge: Don't call me sweetie!

Quimby: I wasn't talking to you! What do you say err ah Porche will you and Lexus do that thing I told you to do?

Porche: Okay!

Marge: Mister mayor, it is vitally important that you pay us! Stop spending money on.... ladies of the evening... and fulfill your financial obligations!

*click*

Marge: Hello??? Hello??? Oh dear... oh dear.... oh dear.... This is bad. This is very bad. Fat Tony is going to kill me. I didn't want to do this, and I hope I never, ever have to do this again...

*Marge pulls the gun out of her purse from the "Cartridge Family" episode.*

Mayor Quimby was found shot to death the next day.


Death is Yonder (Mayor Quimby) is dead over yonder.
Murder number three:

Krusty the Clown: Yeah, send him in.

Otto Mann: Woah, where am I? Heyyy mann... I saw you on TV. You're Crunchy the clown!

Krusty: Close enough. Did you get the medication I requested?

Otto: Suuure man, I got some quality stuff. I got the red ones, the green ones, the dark red ones, and the blue ones. There's also this olive colored one which is really funky, and there's a purple one that you should only take on special occasions, and a Magenta colored one which is like, all of them combined. It's crazy mann.... Oh, and of course, I also got some of the wacky tobacco. This is stuff you can really party with while listening to Led Zeppelin.

Krusty: Great. I think I'll take one of the red ones, and a cigarette.

Otto: Okay man, but how are you going to pay for all this? There's got to be a year's worth of stuff here. It's going to cost you!

Krusty: Actually, it's going to cost you....

Krusty hits Otto over the head with a comedy sledgehammer, smashing his skull to pieces


Greyblades (Otto Mann) is killed

Murder number four:

Abraham Simpson was walking back to the Springfield Retirement Castle from the drug store, when suddenly a hoodlum driving a bumper car smashed into him on the sidewalk.

Nelson Muntz was wearing a Pickelhaube, a spiked German helmet from world war I, and he lowered his head and rammed it into Abe Simpson's backside, then drove off in his bumper car, with a characteristic "HA HA!!!"

Abe Simpson was wounded, badly, but he was wearing Life Alert and was sent to Springfield Hospital where he was operated on, treated and released.

No one died from this murder attempt.



A telephone rang.

Anonymous: Hello?

Male voice: This is Johnny Tightlips. I just wanted you to know everything is going according to plan, except for that one survivor. Perhaps this Nelson Muntz isn't as skilled a henchman as we thought.

Anonymous: I understand. See to it that the activities tomorrow go more smoothly, my friend.

Johnny Tightlips: I am afraid I cannot help you in dis matter. I am still in Sicily and I am under orders not to get involved.

Anonymous: Oh very well. Tell my soldiers to do this old Italian stereotype a favor, and make sure that the entire town of Springfield will belong to me within the month. I have-a big plans for the place. It will be like Las Vegas, nothing but casinoes and stripper bars and fine Italian restaurants.

Johnny Tightlips: Oh, but Don, you're not a stereotype.

Anonymous: Yes, I know it, I am. It'sa all right. I don'ta mind. As long as Springfield belongs to my family, I don't care what people say about me. I can always make-a them disappear.

Johnny Tightlips: I'll keep in contact. Ciao, Don.

Anonymous: Ciao.





__________Summary____________



Sasaki Kojiro was murdered
Death is Yonder was murdered
Greyblades was murdered
One player survived a murder attempt


Alive: 36


777Ares777
AVSM
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Captain Blackadder
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Fixiwee
GeneralHankerchief
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Ichigo
Ituralde
Jolt
KarlXII
Khazaar
LittleGrizzly
Lord Winter
Navarro
NorthNovas
Olavi
Psychonaut
Quintus.JC
Reenk Roink
Shinseikhaan
SplitPersonality
Taka
TheFlax
Tristan de Castelreng
Warman
White_eyes
YLC
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (1)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)

Murdered: (3)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann



Begin Day Two. All votes should be in 48 hours from now, but I may end this round at midnight that day as well, which is an additional 2 hours or so.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Day Two:

An election supervisor, appointed to replace Mayor Quimby, stood in city hall with his watch about to strike midnight to end all voting. The Squeaky Voiced Teen stood there and started to speak: "Okay... looks like the round will end right about....." A hand put a vote into the ballot box just before the deadline. "...now." said the Teen. There was some commotion about whether that last vote got in on time, and so a hand recount was started. Waylon Smithers grumbled as the votes were counted, and the initial results seemed to not go in his favor. He stood up, walked over to the election supervisor, and said: "You can put a stop to this recount right now. I just want to tell my sweetheart that I love him."

Waylon Smithers walked up to Charles Montgomery Burns, got down on his knees, and grabbed his friend and mentor's hand. "Mister Burns... I've served you faithfully as your assistant for over 20 years. I've doted on you, cared for you, and I've been your most trusted adviser. It has been my pleasure to be at your beck and call, day and night, and stand up for you in sickness and in health. I know that my feelings for you will never, ever be mutual... but deep down inside, my heart will always long for you, I will always care for you, and I will always desire that thing which I can never have. You are my inspiration, you are my most treasured and beloved one, and I feel that in this, my final hour, I have no longer any reason to hold back my true feelings for you. You are a work of art that I have admired since the day we met. I love everything about you, from your smooth balding head, to your gentle back hump, your soft, sensuous lips, and your enchanting musk. You have the delicate hands of an angel, you carry yourself like the finest gentleman in the world. You are passionate, daring, bold, and decisive. You are a brilliant man and my greatest teacher. You have allowed me to stay in your magnificent home, and though I must always return to my apartment filled with Malibu Stacy dolls and pink wallpaper, I always log on to my computer and I am greeted by that most tantalizing of welcoming sounds:

"Hello.... Smithers.... You're...Quite...Good...At...........Turning...Me...On." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSO1LmWj0uc)

I breathe a sigh of affection whenever I hear this, and I keep a box of tissues nearby to wipe away my.... err... tears. My darling angel, my beloved one, my iron-willed, sweet, sensitive, and caring man... I will always and forever, deeply, passionately, and eternally love you. I love you sir! I LOVE YOU MISTER BURNS!!! I LOVE YOU.... CHARLES MONTGOMERY BURNS!!!"

Clancy Wiggum and his crew of police officers dragged him off to be executed, with Mr. Burns looking slightly confused and embarrassed. "Well thank you for making our last few moments together socially awkward." said Burns. Professor Frink stepped forward to unveil his latest invention.

Frink: Well, according to my calculations, the funniest way for this... err ah... person to be executed would be feeding him too many bananas until he explodes. So, what I've invented is the FRINXECTIONER 3000. This device will strap the uh.... victim down on this table on his hands and knees, and this apparatus here will hold his back, neck, and head in place while we feed him the bananas. Everyone here will take turns shoving their bananas into his mouth, while the FRINK-O-BLASTER covers him with hot marshmallow sauce for no apparent reason. M'GOY. This button here causes the entire thing to vibrate, and this switch plays "Endless Love". I'm not sure why I put that in there, but the more buttons a device has, the cooler and more useful it is. I'm also pretty sure it gets HBO and has a supercomputer attached to it here so that it can calculate the precise frequency of vibration for each victim, such that they will explode when the final banana is shoved deep inside their mouth. GOYVIN-GLAVIN!!!

Waylon Smithers: "I'd be fine with that. Strap me in and let it rip!" :2thumbsup:

And so the entire town took turns shoving their bananas inside Smithers mouth. Finally, Monty Burns came up, barely able to hold on to his banana with his infant-like strength, and he tried to peel it for Smithers.

Monty Burns: "Smithers, one last favor if you would please... peel my banana."

Waylon Smithers: "I've been waiting for 20 years for you to ask me this. Since I have my hands strapped down, I'll have to use my mouth.

Monty Burns: "Okay then, here's my banana, put it in your mouth Smithers while I give it a good tug."


Just then, Smithers exploded, without ever having the banana in his mouth. He died with a smile on his face.








Alive: 35


777Ares777
AVSM
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Captain Blackadder
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Fixiwee
GeneralHankerchief
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Ichigo
Ituralde
Jolt
KarlXII
Khazaar
LittleGrizzly
Lord Winter
Navarro
NorthNovas
Olavi
Psychonaut
Quintus.JC
Shinseikhaan
SplitPersonality
Taka
TheFlax
Tristan de Castelreng
Warman
White_eyes
YLC
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (2)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers

Murdered: (3)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann




Night two- orders to me by 11:59 my time, which is Eastern USA Daylight savings time. (GMT-5) (let's get it right this time.)

[Askthepizzaguy]

Night Two


Greetings, Bob.

This is your brother, Cecil.

Are you daft? I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to accomplish. He's just an old man, and an accident-prone one at that. If your goal is to take out everyone in Springfield, this... mole person is not the way to go about it. He's bound to die on his own anyway. However, I suppose you do know what you're doing. Why not go after your hated nemesis; Bart Simpson? Or perhaps Lisa? In fact, everyone in the Simpson family should go down. They have interfered in our plans too many times to be kept alive. By the time you get this letter, it will be too late anyway, but I felt the need to voice my concerns. If you wish to exact revenge against the people of Springfield, I suggest you look at the people who have foiled you so many times in the past. Once they are dead, the rest of Springfield will fall like dominoes.

Speaking of dominoes, there aren't any games here worth playing. The only person capable of beating me at chess in this dusty prison is me, and I've memorized the solution to checkers. There are no books to read, except religious pamphlets, and I think you know how I feel about that. I've been attempting to fashion a rudimentary explosive device and break out of this cell, but the only explosives I've been able to make involve chewing gum, tobacco juice, lighters, human hair, and copious amounts of nitroglycerin. Of course, all the other ingredients would be unnecessary if I could just get more nitroglycerin, which I am fresh out of. The bomb as it is currently assembled wouldn't blow apart a soda can, and it doesn't even burn that well.

I've learned to avoid singing opera in the showers, because the other inmates weren't very kind to me. I still can't sit down. Get me out of this wretched little rat hole, and soon, dear brother.

-Cecil Terwilliger


Murder number one:

Hans Moleman was driving his AMC Gremlin home from the grocery store, where he bought a 1/2 gallon of milk and 11 eggs, all of them cracked from dropping them multiple times. His car swerved into a ditch, rolled to a safe and gentle stop, nearly hitting a tree. Moleman was safe.

Hans Moleman: "ooh dear.... hit another speed bump.... ohhhh... Now there is egg all over my lovely car... my beautiful car... ohhh nooooo... I'll never get a car this reliable agaaaaaaiiiinnnn..... I just made my last payment."

Just then, the radio crackled to life.

Sideshow Bob: Greetings, you elderly simpleton. This is Robert Underdunk Terwilliger. I trust you've enjoyed your stay here on Earth. However, you have failed to pay your rent, and so I must evict you. If you are a religious man, I will give you ten seconds to pray to your God or gods. If you are not, allow me to entertain you with my rendition of the HMS Pinafore (http://www.videosift.com/video/Sideshow-Bob-Sings-the-HMS-Pinafore-Score).

For he himself has said it
And it's clearly to his credit
That he is an english man...
He remains an EEeeeEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEeeeeee......English Man!!

Thank you... thank you..... and Goodbye!"

Hans Moleman: That was lovely.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2406/2123014383_6136a2112e.jpg?v=0

BOOOOOOM!!!!! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADINMjjtHvc)

Hans Moleman: Oh dear... I'm on fire.... that's probably not very good. Nurse? Can someone help me please? oooooohhhh.... I need to go lie down.

Hans Moleman was murdered. And yet, somehow, he is still alive.
Murder number two:

Homer Simpson was sitting on his couch, and he opened a can of beer. It exploded all over his face, (D'oh!) and he was very angry.

Homer: GRRRRRRR!!!!!! BART!!! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!!!!

Nelson Muntz was outside the window, and he said "HA HA!!!"

Homer Simpson: "Why you little...!"

Nelson Muntz: "Hey grandpa, how did you get so slow and fat? Oh, no, I'd better run or else you're going to get me! BOO HOOO!!!"

Homer Simpson: I'll smash you good!
(he leaps out of the window with amazing grace and determination, for a fat man. His landing was less graceful, because he landed on a rake.)

Homer Simpson: OOOOWWWW!!!

Nelson Muntz: "Betcha can't catch me, doofus! By the way, I stole all your beer and I burned all your playboys."

Homer Simpson: Not my secret stash! No one steals my beer!!!

Nelson dashed to the backyard, where he pelted Homer with water balloons.

Homer Simpson: "D'oh!" *splash* "D'oh!" *splash* "D'oh!" *splash* "D'oh!" *splash* "D'oh!"

Neslon Muntz started climbing the ladder of the treehouse. "By the way, I filled those balloons with pee. Hope you don't mind, flabby!"

Homer Simpson's face grew blood red, and he ran faster than he ever had before, even when he was trying to strangle Bart Simpson for lying about being a genius and cheating on an IQ test. He was just about to catch Nelson but the kid squirmed out of his grip and up into the treehouse.
Huffing and puffing, Homer managed to climb the ladder and looked around for the little twerp. He looked and Nelson was standing in a corner, holding a B-B gun.

Nelson Muntz: Say good night, Simpson!

*Bang* Homer Simpson was shot in the face, and reeled in pain.

Homer Simpson: OOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!

He fell out of the treehouse and on his way to the ground, let out one final, whimpering, painful-

Homer: "D'oh...."

CRACK!!!

Homer Simpson's neck was snapped by the impact. Homer Simpson (Shinseikhaan) is dead.
Murder number three:
Cletus Spuckler was at home with his 44 children. Brandine was sorting the mail.

Brandine: "Bill..... bill.... bill.... overdue.... third notice.... nothin' but garbage here. Oh goody! Our welfare check. And lookie here, thar what were a coupon in the mail. Says kids eat free at The Frying Dutchman."

Cletus Spuckler: "Kids, get in the trucks and the trailers. We're eatin' seafood ageeeen. Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Qbert, Phil... and all the rest of yall move it."

.....they drive to the Frying Dutchman....

Squeaky Voiced Teen: Can I *help* the next person in line *please*.

Cletus: Yeah I what were saw dis coupon in der mail, and I come to feed all my kids for free. I got ID cards an' birth certificates for all of them. Gimme 100 Seafood platters for free, 12 boxes of freedom fries, and 6 crates of Cherry Cola. As for me and Brandine, we'll split a fish sandwich."

Squeaky Voiced Teen: "That will be a dollar fifty."

Captain McCallister: WHAT? I'll be ruined you idiot! YARRR!!! It's supposed to say "limit 4 children per coupon".

Cletus: Oh don't worry I got a bunch of them coupons saved up. Here's your buck fifty.

Captain McCallister: Sure, uh... just come on in the back. I want to show you the meat grinder. Yar.

Cletus: Sure! I always wanted to see where meat comes from.

Sea Captain: Why don't you lean over and see it more closely.... watch the meat come out.
(McCallister turns on the massive grinder)

Cletus: I don't see nothin coming!

Sea Captain: I guess not, you idiot.

*bumps Cletus into the meat grinder*



Cletus Spuckler (Tristan de Castelreng) is murdered by the Sea Captain.

Murder number four

Professor Frink: Well, you see Krusty, I have managed to create a burger that tastes, smells, and feels exactly like a burger made out of meat, meat by products, carcinogenic compounds, ashes, ground up plastic, rat droppings, and filler... your basic Krusty Burger... and it's made out of easily grown, healthy vegetables, and some artificial flavoring.. How much did you say you were willing to pay for the recipe?

Krusty the Clown: Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Nothing you little twerp.

Professor Frink: Well... m'hay... that's very confuseling. I am not sure why you'd want me to tell you my BRILLIANT plan to change the Krusty Burger franchise into a health food chain, for the low, low price of only 12 billion dollars.

Krusty: Does this help explain?

*gunshot*

Professor Frink: GOYVIN GLAVIN!!!

Krusty: Yeah, whatever, you Jerry Lewis wannabe.



Professor Frink (Ituralde) was murdered.
Murder number five:
Kang: Very interesting... I see an earthling who looks mighty delicious. Kodos, full stop.

Kodos: Did you vote for me, by the way?

Kang: Shut up, that reference doesn't even apply here. We get it, you've seen the Simpsons. Shut the heck up already! WE GET IT! Homer Simpson said "don't blame me, I voted for Kodos." First of all, it's not original to just rip off material, and all these episode references are lost on the non-Simpsons fans. So get out the cookbook which says "How to cook for forty humans" on its very very dusty cover, covered in space dust.

Kodos: Affirmative. Time to cook the humans.

Kang: Transportermogrification complete. The human known as Marge Simpson is now in the holding cell.

(they enter the room with the holding cell)

Marge Simpson: What are you going to do to me? Are you going to probe me? Fine, let's get it over with.

Kang and Kodos: NOOOOOOO!!!!

Kang: We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us.

Kodos: We're just going to eat you, foolish human.

Marge Simpson: Well that's not very nice. You should be ashamed of yourselves. You're supposed to be a superior, enlightened civilization, but you insist on capturing innocent sentient life forms and cooking them! What would your MOTHERS think?

Kang: Hmmm.... pathetic human is correct. This seems wrong.

Kodos: Very well. You have shown us the error of our ways. We will release you, human.

Kang (releasing the forcefield): We will make peace with you humans. Apparently we "misunderestimated" you.

Marge Simpson: Aww.... oh come here... let me show you human compassion.

(Marge pulls out a rifle and shoots Kang)

BLAM!

Kodos: Awesome. I'm still alive! The human race obviously favors Kodos after all! So much for the electoral process!

Marge Simpson: From the bottom of my heart, and I speak for the entire human race... die you grotesque and hideous blob of green goo!

Kodos: D'oh!!!

BLAM!





Kang and Kodos (KarlXII) were murdered by Marge Simpson.



-----------------Summary-----------------

Shinseikhaan was murdered by Neslon Muntz
Tristan de Castelreng was murdered by The Sea Captain
Ituralde was murdered by Krusty the Clown
KarlXII was murdered by Marge Simpson
One player survived a murder.





Alive: 31


777Ares777
AVSM
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Captain Blackadder
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Fixiwee
GeneralHankerchief
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Ichigo
Jolt
Khazaar
LittleGrizzly
Lord Winter
Navarro
NorthNovas
Olavi
Psychonaut
Quintus.JC
SplitPersonality
Taka
TheFlax Greyblades
Warman Beaver
White_eyes
YLC
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (2)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers

Murdered: (7)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos



Begin Day Three. Day ends on 23:59, April 18th, (GMT-5) all votes should be in by then. Try not to cut it close like last time.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Day Three


I have ruled that the original votes should count, and the illegal votes should be rejected, as I established by precedent last round. If I alter this now, it will be unfair to all players. Furthermore, I announced earlier this round that I had a new method of deciding tied votes, as the vote currently stands, it is tied 7-7, rejecting illegal votes, which I should do.



Homer Simpson.... Homer Simpson.... Homer Simpson!




The Ghost of Homer Jay Simpson: D'oh! Hello? Is this thing on? Marge? Kids? :brood: .....Flanders? Where am I? I fell out of the treehouse.... and now I feel like I've lost about 249 pounds. I feel light as a feather! Now, I understand that I'm dead... apparently that little jerk what's-his-name killed me. Now... I have retu-u-u-u-rned from the dead.... woooooo...... spooky, aren't I? Heh heh heh.


http://www.avivadirectory.com/photoshop/images/drawinghomer/final.jpg

Now, I've returned for a very important purpose... to decide all your tied votes for you. Last night something terrible happened to me... and the Five-Fingered God has given me the task of being the Grim Reaper. Since I've always sort of had a thing for Miss Krabappel.... roowwwrrrr.... (sorry, Marge) I've decided that Krabappel should live!

Even better.... I've decided that the BOY must die! Come here, Bart... time to pay for all your pranks. It's time for the ultimate time out.

Bart Simpson: Whatever man, eat my shorts. By the way, I was the one who shook up all your beer cans. And I hope you don't mind, I maxed out your credit cards.

The Ghost of Homer Simpson: WHY YOU LITTLE!!!!

*Homer strangles Bart Simpson as they ascend to heaven*


http://www.comic-mint.com/media/client/Homer-strangling-Bart-small-C7833.JPG


LG- 8 (Jolt, Thermal, QJC, AVSM, YLC, boudica, Diana) +1 (Shinseikhaan)
boudica- 7 (fixiwee, LG, shlin, SP, Aggony, Psychonaut, WE)
Gh- 5 (Ichigo, Beefy, Blackadder, Glenn, Chaotix)
Ichigo- 1 (ED)
Psychonaut- 1 (Yoyoma)
Blackadder- 1 (GH)
Abstain: 4 (Taka, NN, Beaver, Greyblades)



Alive: 30


777Ares777
AVSM
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Captain Blackadder
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Fixiwee
GeneralHankerchief
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Ichigo
Jolt
Khazaar
Lord Winter
Navarro
NorthNovas
Olavi
Psychonaut
Quintus.JC
SplitPersonality
Taka
TheFlax Greyblades
Warman Beaver
White_eyes
YLC
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (3)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson

Murdered: (7)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos


Night ends roughly 23 hours from now: 2359, April 19th (GMT-5). Orders to me now.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Night Three



Greetings, Bob.

I have excellent news. It appears from what I hear, that the foolish "organized" criminals of Springfield have taken to murdering each other. That will make our work all the easier. I must admit, I wish I was there to see the fireworks. Right now, I want to say I have no problem with killing the owner of Herman's Antiques. You should be able to access the storage room after he is dead. There should be enough firepower in there to take out half of Springfield, and some explosives which should help break me out of prison.

I could always walk out the unlatched gate in the exercise yard, but I respect the honors system far too much to escape that way, out of principle. We may be criminals but we won't stop being gentlemen. I have to wrap this up, there appears to be some sort of spider in my cell and I need to curl up into a little ball and weep in abject terror. I am certain that creepy little thing will pump me full of poison tonight at feast on me for the rest of its natural life, as well as its children, and its children's children. I don't want to go out that way, so I am just going to stay awake all night with a rolled up newspaper. I'd kill it but I am too scared.

MURDER THEM ALL, DEAR BROTHER!!! MUHUHUHAHAHAHAA!!!!!

Sincerely yours,

Cecil Terwilliger

Murder number one

*a bell rings*

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/0/04/Herman.jpg

Herman: Howdy stranger. What sort of thing can I get for you today?

Sideshow Bob: Greetings, shopkeeper. I'd like to see what kind of firearms you deal in, please.

Herman: Well this is a lovely little number. It has a maximum operational range of three football fields, a telescopic sight, limited recoil and automatic fire capability. It comes in a lovely black or wood finish.

Sideshow Bob: Would that work for closer encounters?

Herman: Ah! So you'd like something more close range. This is a delightful handgun, it can blow apart an entire watermelon with one shot. It's a little heavier than your typical weapon, but its firepower can't be matched by military standards. For that, you'd have to go with something custom.

Sideshow Bob: Fascinating. What about combat knives?

Herman: This one is a delight... it's a 16 inch blade, well balanced, fairly lightweight, and has reinforced construction. The grip is made of space-age materials which mold to the shape of your hand, allow better grip, and is waterproof and slip-resistant.

Sideshow Bob: Can I try it out?

Herman: Absolutely. I have foam and wooden dummies in the back.

Sideshow Bob: Oh, you'll do quite nicely.

*SLICE*

Herman (Quintus.JC) has been murdered by Sideshow Bob.Murder number two:
Krusty the Clown: Who has been working the drive-thru? I've got customers backed up half a mile, I'm losing business! Holy Schlamolah!

Squeaky Voiced Teen: Oh, that was me, sir... I'm afraid I haven't been properly trained since I was fired from The Frying Dutchman, and fired from my volunteer work down at the city hall.

Krusty: Well get this line moving, pronto! I want to sell 1,000 burgers in the next half an hour, or you're fired! I'm nearly bankrupt as it is, I've got the feds crawling all over me because I owe them millions in back taxes! I hate the Feds... It's up to you to bail me out of this mess! SELL, SELL, SELL!!!!

Squeaky Voiced Teen: Uh oh! I'm starting to feel stress!

*pimples break out all over the Teen's face, and he sweats himself soaking wet, voice starts to crack even more than usual, and feels wild mood swings*

Krusty: Now GET BACK ON THAT HOLE and makes sure you keep our customers satisfied!

Squeaky Voiced Teen: *yes* SIR.... (squeak)

(30 minutes later)

Krusty the Clown: Send him in.

Squeaky Voiced Teen: You wanted to see me, *sir*?

Krusty the Clown: Yeah, yeah. I wanted to see you. Your performance hasn't improved. You're going to have to be terminated.

Squeaky Voiced Teen: I'm going to be fired???

Krusty: No.... I said terminated, you yutz! You need to clean the wax out of your ears! Here, let me help you...

*BANG!*

http://www.awesome80s.com/Awesome80s/TV/images/SimpsonsSqueky(150).gif
The Squeaky Voiced Teen (GeneralHankerchief) is murdered by Krusty the ClownMurder number three:
Captain Horatio McCallister: YARRR.... and that thar be the Springfield Lighthouse... which appears to be not functioning at the moment.

*SMASH*

Sea Captain: Oh no... this is the second time I've crashed a ship this year.

Monty Burns: Excuse me, are you the help on this blasted voyage of the damned? I was just jostled out of peaceful rest by the ship shaking, and I've lost my loyal associate, Smithers, and I don't remember where he went. Now, listen you bloated sack of unwashed red-tide covered flotsam, I demand to speak to whomever is the pilot of this infernal contraption.

Sea Captain: YARR.... That be I, says I.

Monty Burns: YOU! Now listen you blithering, drunken idiot! I paid good money for the misfortune of taking a cruise on this overblown tugboat, and not only do I demand a full refund, I want you fired! Not just fired, beaten to a bloody pulp!!!

(Burns starts slapping the Sea Captain with all the might and fury of an 81-year old man who is physically weaker than an infant)

Monty Burns: Take that! And that! Now you're experiencing the beating of a lifetime, you bearded hippie!

Sea Captain: Yarr..... I might be 72 years old, but I think you're out of your league, there poppy.

Monty Burns: Stop resisting.... If you start to..... feel.... light headed..... that's..... death.... setting in...... *ugh*

https://www.mediabistro.com/unbeige/original/mr.%20burns.jpg
Monty Burns dies from a heart attack (is "murdered" by the Sea Captain)Murder number four:
Apu Nahassapeemapetilon: Hello valued customer and welcome to the Kwik-E-Mart. May I be interesting you in a freshly squeezed squishee or a heat lamp dog?

Nelson Muntz: You can interest me in a tall, frothy glass of shut the hell up!

Apu: Now that is not being polite sir. I have the latest issue of Gigantic Gazungas for you, assuming you have for me to be providing your fake identification card.

Nelson Muntz: I lost it. Give it to me anyway. And all these jawbreakers, too. Put them on my tab.

Apu: I'm sorry sir but it is against the law for me to be providing you magazines which depict explicit scenes of exotic and enormous things of a sexual nature without the proper false identification cards.

Nelson Muntz: Bite me!

Apu: And another thing your credit with this establishment has been maxed out. You owe me well over twelve thousand dollars. Please be making arrangements to be paying off this debt and thank you come again!

Nelson Muntz: Come again?

Apu: Yes, please to be coming again. I am cutting you off.

Nelson Muntz: You're cutting me off?

Apu: Yes sir, thank you for shopping at the Kwik-E-Mart.

Nelson Muntz: How about I cut YOU off, grandpa?

Apu: Oh, by the many arms of Vishnu, I wish I had spent more time outside of work.

*SLASH*
*thud*
*thud*


http://images.usatoday.com/life/_photos/2006/02/16/inside-hindu-apu.jpg

Apu Nahassapeemapetilon (A Very Super Market) was decapitated by Nelson Muntz.Murder number five:
Police Chief Clancy Wiggum: Okay boys, I'm a little out of practice... how many murders have there been in Springfield this week?

Lou: 11 murders so far, 3 people lynched by an angry mob of citizens.

Wiggum: Wow, geez, really? That many, huh? My goodness... I don't think I'll ever get done just writing up the reports. I think I need a vacation.

Lou: Sorry, Chief... in the absence of the mayor, you're the only law and order in this town. You've got to solve these murders; I can't let you abandon the town.

Wiggum: Don't you work for me, lou?

Lou: Technically, yeah.

Wiggum: Don't make me bust you back down to Sergeant.

Lou: I already am a Sergeant, chief.

Wiggum: Whatever. Just order me a pizza or something. Amscray.


---some time later---

*BUZZZZZZZ*

Wiggum: Oh, good the pizza man is here.

*opens the door without any pants on*

Abraham Jay Simpson: Hello.... Did you order the Double Deluxe Everything pizza?

Wiggum: Yeah, hand it over I'm starving.

Abe Simpson: That will be $13.85, sir.

Wiggum: Here, I've got..... 13 bucks. That gonna be enough for you?

Abe Simpson: No... the pizza is $13.85. Plus the gratuity, sir.

Wiggum: Gratu....iwhat?

Abe Simpson: The tip, sir.

Wiggum: Don't you get paid hourly?

Abe Simpson: Minimum wage... but the expenses of my vehicle alone per month are more than what I make in hourly wages.

Wiggum: Go cry me a river, all I've got is.... wait I have some change.

Abe Simpson: Oh dear.... looks like I won't be able to afford my medication this month.

Wiggum: Here, I've got a big pile of unrolled pennies and nickles. Now give me the pizza.

Abe Simpson: Thank you, sonny.....

*door slams*

Abe Simpson: One.... two.... three.... cents.... ooh a nickel.... eight cents....
(30 minutes later) seventy-two cents.... seventy-three cents... seventy four cents. Hey... he shorted me.

*knocks on the door*

Wiggum: Ahhhh.... that pizza was good. What are you doing back?

Abe Simpson: Forgive me sir, but you still owe me eleven cents, plus the gratuity.

Wiggum: Oh, here.... I've got this quarter lodged between my butt cheeks. Keep the change.

Abe Simpson: ....................................




*the above was based on actual events*

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7a/Chief_Wiggum.png

When the body of Police Chief wiggum was found, there was 3 pounds worth of change in his throat, and a cardboard pizza box shoved inside his butt, sideways, not lengthwise. Carved into his shredded chest were the words "keep the change, :daisy:"

Police Chief Clancy Wiggum (Lord Winter) was murdered by Abraham Jay Simpson.

Mmm.... fond memories.... always tip the pizza guy. If the service is bad, complain to the manager, but pay the man or get it yourself. Hiring a taxi service for your dinner is expensive, deal with it. :bow:
Murder number six (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4UvuOIuEoU): (Don't be shy, click on the link...)

Telephone rings.

Abe Simpson: Hello???? Who, what the... who is this? Where's that voice coming from? Oh, the phone. Speak up sonny! TALK LOUDER!

Johnny Tightlips: You've failed me, Consigliere.

Abe Simpson: Oh, it's you. Well you should have told me who was after me!

Johnny Tightlips: You'll find out soon enough. You should have kept your subordinates in line. Now, the boss has decided to let you fend for yourself. I wish you luck. Salute.

Abe Simpson: Oh, Salute my butt! The Capo doesn't frighten me, I was in World War II! You idiots have no idea what I'm capable of... you see, back in those days, I had to wear an onion on my belt, as it was the style at the time... rationing for the war... I once french kissed Herbert Hoover, and I liked it! Did I ever tell you about the time Rockefeller was in a Zeppelin dropping shiny gold coins on people? Well I got a big old washtub and I caught as many as I could, but that was before I had to buy a new shoe, so I went down to Morganville... which is what they called Shelbyville in those days... now where was I? You'll never guess what happened NEXT! There was... *snore*...... *snore*......

Johnny Tightlips: Sleep well, my friend... and good bye.

*LOUD KNOCKING*

Abe Simpson: WHAT THE? WHO?? WHO'S KNOCKING ON MY DOOR??

Fat Tony: One of your loyal subordinates. Open sesame.

Abe Simpson: Oh yeah... come on in, D'Amico.

Fat Tony: Was there somethings you wished to discuss with me?

Abe Simpson: Yeah... I don't want to beat around the bush. Tony.... you betrayed me.

Fat Tony: Me? Why do you suspect me of disloyalty? I've carried out your orders every night. I've turned this town upside down and faithfully sent in a portion of my earnings. I've broken legs and made people disappear because they owed us money. Always with the money. I wouldn't care about it personally, but my wife, she likes to buy things. And she's always nagging; "Where's da money? Why aren't you getting da money now?" and so on, and so on. And I've always given you da monies.

Abe Simpson: Don't give me that malarkey! I smell a rat! You're a no-good, lying, cheating, murdering backstabbing piece of filthy scum! You broke my heart Tony... you broke my heart.... and with this betrayal, you've sealed your own death.

*gives Fat Tony a kiss*

Fat Tony: The kiss of death (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AOOdU2bIN8). Just what I needed today. *sigh*

Abe Simpson takes his antique revolver out of the cigar box, the very same one which was used in the cliffhanger episode to shoot Charles Montgomery Burns, and he aimed it at Fat Tony, and was about to fire....

*the door is kicked open*

Abe Simpson: MARGE??? Is that you? Come here sweetie... this violent mobster was about to kill me. I've got him cornered, and he won't be killing anyone else in this town.

Marge Simpson: This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.... *BANG*

*the gun is knocked out of Abe Simpson's hand*

Fat Tony: You've done well, Marge. Your Pretzel Wagon debt is nearly paid off.... now, if you'll just eliminate this scumbag, our business relationship will have ended, and you'll get your money.

Marge Simpson: *worried groan*............

Abe Simpson: Margie! It's your father-in-law, Abe Simpson! I'd never do anything to hurt you or this family!

Marge Simpson: That's not true.... you're the Don of Dons, Fat Tony told me so... and you're the one who ordered the hit on my dear... sweet.... Homie....

*marge simpson breaks down and starts crying*

Abe Simpson: Listen, honey.... sweetie... that no-good son of mine was standing in our way. It had to be done, and he was too much of a moron to be trusted with the family business.

Marge Simpson: DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT HOMER THAT WAY!!!
*click*

Abe Simpson: What's it gonna be Marge? Do you kill me, the grandfather of your children? You can destroy Fat Tony... he has foreseen it. JOIN ME, and together, we can RULE SPRINGFIELD as Father-in-law and Daughter!

Marge Simpson: Good-bye Abe... I'm sorry....

*BANG!!!*

Abe Simpson fell to the floor, with a bullet hole in his forehead.

Fat Tony: Very nicely done. I am sorry you had to do this. The money is already in a Swiss Bank Account, and here is a card with your pin number on it. Give me a call if you're ever going to be interested in working for the D'Amico crime family again.

Marge: Never.... I want out, Tony.... there's been too much blood shed already. Too many teardrops... too many shattered dreams and broken families.

Fat Tony: A shame. You were a promising mafioso. But I respect and understands your decision. God bless, Marjorie Simpson.

Marge: *still sobbing* Good bye, Fat Tony... thank you for helping me find the person responsible for murdering my sweet Homie... that Nelson brat is just a kid, and this awful man ruined him forever, as well as my entire family.

Fat Tony gives Marge Simpson a hug.


http://www.citynerd.com/simpsons/grandpavoice.gif

Abraham Jay Simpson, also known as THE BLACK HAND OF SPRINGFIELD, (Captain Blackadder) was murdered by Marge Simpson.


---------Summary----------
QJC was killed by Sideshow Bob
GeneralHankerchief was killed by Krusty the Clown
Psychonaut was killed by Captain McCallister
A very Super Market was killed by Nelson Muntz
Lord Winter was killed by The Black Hand
Captain Blackadder (THE BLACK HAND) was murdered by Marge Simpson


http://www.chicadelatele.com/myfiles/chicadelatele/marge_hot.jpg
Marge Simpson in style....





Alive: 23


777Ares777
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Chaotix27
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Ichigo
Jolt
Khazaar
Navarro
NorthNovas
Olavi
SplitPersonality
Taka
TheFlax Greyblades
Warman Beaver
White_eyes
YLC To be announced. replaced due to drop out.
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (3)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson

Murdered: (13)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos
Quintus.JC- Herman
GeneralHankerchief- Squeaky Voiced Teen
Psychonaut- Charles Montgomery Burns
A Very Super Market- Apu Nahassapeemapetilon
Lord Winter- Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Captain Blackadder- Abraham Jay Simpson (as The Black Hand)

Retired Filthy Stinking Rich: (1)

Fixiwee- Marge Simpson (as Agnes Skinner)



http://immagini.p2pforum.it/out.php/i318776_HomerSimpson.jpg



Night phase has ended. Day Four begins now. All votes need to be in by 2359, April 21st, GMT-5:00.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Day Four

The people of Springfield gathered together once more to find the murdering scumbags among them, at city hall. City hall had become a joke; there was no mayor, no police chief, no legitimate government of any kind. However, Krusty the Clown was still a Congressman, and Mary Bailey was still the Governor, so the place still had some semblance of being an American town. Krusty stood in front of the crowd, and said a few words.

"All right you schmucks. Since you idiots will be lost without me, I'll be taking over this town and I will be the law and order around here. I want that vote tally up here, pronto!"

Lisa Simpson had been keeping track of all the votes, and with a groan, she realized that it was all over.

Lisa Simpson: This might have been done democratically, but without a fair trial and the rights of the individual respected, this form of so-called justice is still a farce and you all should be ashamed of yourselves for voting to lynch a little girl. The constitution of the United States prohibits this sort of treatment to any citizen, and a violation of my rights in this matter....

Krusty the Clown: Shaddap! Shut your face already, your shrill voice is making me feel sick to my stomach! Now, here comes the fun part... how shall we execute a smarty pants like Lisa Simpson?

The crowd murmured... no one could really come up with a funny way to execute a little girl. Certainly not in a way which would please a crowd. Besides, Lisa Simpson was too likable a character... the audience would be far too sympathetic to her cause.

Lisa Simpson: May I remind you that you people have failed to execute a criminal for several days now? You've put several innocent people to their deaths and you've shown no remorse! You should be ashamed of yourselves. You've also failed to lynch anyone besides a simple henchman! Isn't it clear to you now that the people who so often get put on the chopping block get put there by the mafia themselves? That they would defend each other from death? Look and see! You will find your culprits! Or perhaps you will find them hiding themselves from having their votes matter! Imagine if you will how pointless it is to vote for someone who won't get lynched that day... what sort of person would do that? And what about the people who abstain from voting at this late hour! Don't they have any idea who to vote for yet?

Krusty the Clown: Yeah, what's your point? Basically, you're saying that half the town is suspicious of being mafia.

Lisa Simpson: Exactly my point! The mafia are doing a darn good job working together, and soon, the town of Springfield will be annihilated! Think carefully before you proceed any further!

Krusty: *groans* Listen, kid... you need to get out more, relax, it's just a game.

Lisa Simpson: No! No! It's not a game! People's lives are on the line here! You must stop the mafia before they destroy us all! They are about to outnumber the town and there's no stopping them! Listen, I've devised a foolproof system of detecting the mafia, it's called "SkyNet" and I can use it to pinpoint exactly who the mafia are! Well, some of the time! It beats random guessing! Now if you'll all just stand aside and let me do all the work myself, and follow me unquestioningly, I can defeat the mafia single-handedly! I'm just so brave and smart and you can't win without me!

*Lisa starts pointing at the people in the crowd*

Lisa Simpson: According to my exhaustive research from previous games, behavioral pattern analysis, and pattern recognition algorithms, I have determined that the following people are probably guilty, but, maybe they aren't guilty because sometimes I am wrong! You're guilty, and you're guilty, and you're guilty... especially you! You're guilty...

Krusty the Clown: Is she always like this? She's like some sort of Pizzaguy...

Maggie Simpson: *Suck suck* (nods in the affirmative)

Krusty the Clown: How about we lynch her first in almost every game. That might shut her up!

Maggie Simpson: *suck suck* (shakes her head "no")

Krusty the Clown: What about after she is dead?

Maggie Simpson: *suck suck* (makes a pattern with her wooden letter blocks. It reads: "EVEN WORSE")

Krusty the Clown: Oy Gevalt! Who invited this annoying little creep into our games?

Maggie Simpson: (makes a pattern with her wooden letter blocks: "ANDRES")

Krusty the Clown: Remind me to have a stern talk with him when he returns to the gameroom. Ok, I think this little Lisa Simpson twerp has done plenty for this town. Time to kill her!

Lisa Simpson: ...And YOU Krusty! You're also guilty!

Krusty the Clown: Yeah yeah, whatever kid. How did you figure THAT one out? Are you some sort of DETECTIVE or something?

Lisa Simpson: YES! YES! I WAS THE DETECTIVE YOU NUMBSKULLS!!!

Krusty the Clown: A detective reveal! We have our traitor, folks! KILL THE GIRL! SMASH HER SKULL! CHEW HER BONES!!!

Springfieldians: Must... kill... detective........ Must... kill.... detective.... Must... kill.... detective....

Krusty the Clown: Morons. No wonder they elected me, a murderous criminal, to Congress.

Lisa Simpson (Olavi), the Detective, was promptly strung up by the neck and hanged.

I would have made it funnier, but... it's still funny, just in a sad, depressing kind of way.


http://www.lifeisajoke.com/simpsons/Lisa-straightas.jpg








Alive: 22


777Ares777
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Chaotix27
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Ichigo
Jolt
Khazaar
Navarro
NorthNovas
SplitPersonality
Taka
Greyblades
Beaver
White_eyes
YLC
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (4)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson
Olavi- Lisa Simpson, the Detective

Murdered: (13)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos
Quintus.JC- Herman
GeneralHankerchief- Squeaky Voiced Teen
Psychonaut- Charles Montgomery Burns
A Very Super Market- Apu Nahassapeemapetilon
Lord Winter- Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Captain Blackadder- Abraham Jay Simpson (as The Black Hand)

Retired Filthy Stinking Rich: (1)

Fixiwee- Marge Simpson (as Agnes Skinner)



Night Four begins now. You have less than 24 hours to get me your murders.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Lisa Simpson: "Chief Wiggum... Don't... Eat... The... Clues.... this suit burns better. Look! Better look... Burns... suit...."

Night Four


Greetings, Bob

I see that you've elected to murder yet another child of Springfield. Ah, but this time you've certainly got no innocent little boy. He's been masquerading around town as someone else, and doing his fair share of the murders. He's not a threat to you at all, and he's helping you destroy this wretched little Hooverville. I must say that I'm not entirely pleased with your choice, but... he needed to die eventually anyway. I know the town will certainly celebrate it. But they may not be celebrating for long... that means yet another innocent will be corrupted by the allure of wealth. A pity.

But things will be changing here soon; I guarantee that. In the meantime, I feel slightly better since the spider escaped out of my cell. I've grown bloated on the strawberries they keep feeding us, covered in bulbous swirls of whipped cream and sprinkles. I feel fat as a donkey. I must admit I have quite a bit of a sweet tooth, but it doesn't sit well with the sushi and the lobster I've been eating, and certainly not the grilled elephant and the banana creme pies. But the Italian... it's almost out of my system.

Bon Appetit!

Sincerely yours,
Cecil Terwilliger.

Murder number one:
Doctor Nick Riviera and Carl Carlson were sitting at a bar, enjoying a delicious Duff beer after work.

Carl: So, Nick... do you really think that I could get a face lift for just $49.95?

Dr. Nick: Suuuuuure! And for the low, low price of just 15 dollars, I can give you brand new eyes. You just have to sign these release forms, and not ask me where they came from. Also, if you lose your eyesight from the procedure, you agree not to sue me for the damages. Other than that, no problem.

The two men turn around and they see one figure pointing a gun, and another figure pointing a rifle.

Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!

*BANG!*

Dr. Nick: Bye, everybody!


http://www.slotcargarage.com/jon/DrNickRiviera.jpg

Dr. Nick Rivera (Taka) was murdered by The Black Hand.Murder number two:
Carl Carlson looked on in horror as the vicious murder of his doctor took place.

Carl: Oh Jesus, I gotta get out of here!

Just then, another figure entered the bar... now there were three strange men holding weapons. This was about to get brutal. Fat Tony, who had just wasted Dr. Nick Riviera, turned and saw the newcomer enter the bar, and was shocked to see that Sideshow Bob had just entered, but also, that Nelson Muntz was standing right in front of him about to blow him away with a rifle. Being a skilled, albeit fat mafioso, he rolled out of the way, and Carl Carlson was shot instead.

Carl: Oh Jeez. That's just great. My good looks are now wasted. At least I'll make a handsome corpse.

http://www.thesimpsonsshow.fr/personnages/Carl_Carlson.gif
Carl Carlson (shlin28) was murdered by Nelson MuntzMurder number three:
(As Carl Carlson's body hit the ground)
Nelson Muntz: "Ha ha!"

Sideshow Bob: How eloquent. By the way, do you always make such insightful observations whilst being completely oblivious to the irony of laughing at someone else's misfortunes, when you're nothing more than a mere mortal yourself? I had big plans for the Simpson family, and you've effectively ruined them, you little twerp! Those were my victims, and I wanted to destroy them myself... but now, I have the satisfaction of destroying you.

*Sideshow Bob steps forward to slash him with a knife, but steps on a rake instead*

Nelson Muntz: "Ha Ha!"

*Sideshow Bob gets very very angry. Nelson Muntz tries to pull the trigger but he's all out of ammunition.*

Nelson Muntz: "uh oh!"


http://bookshelvesofdoom.blogs.com/bookshelves_of_doom/images/2008/03/05/nelson_muntz.jpg

When Nelson's body was found, it was skewered completely through the center of his body, going in through the mouth and out the other end. It was over the fire, cooking rotisserie style, with the words "Ha Ha" written on his forehead.

"Gil Gunderson" AKA Nelson Muntz (Ichigo), was murdered by Sideshow Bob.Murder number four:Barney Gumble: Hey, is this restaurant all you can eat?

Captain McCallister: Well.... err.... YARRRR, all you can eat, $12.99.

Barney: And are drinks on the house?

Captain McCallister: Yes, you get free refills when you buy the bottomless mug for $7.50.

Barney: Free refills on beer?

Sea Captain: Yarr....

Barney: Hold on, DID YOU SAY FREE REFILLS ON BEER?

Sea Captain: Yarrr!

Barney: IT BEGINS!!!!!!


*4 hours later*

Barney: I don't know who you magic pixies are, but I sure love your pixie drink!

Sea Captain: YARR!! You're puttin' me out of business, mate! You need to be leavin' and don't you come back. Take a long walk off a short pier and rest at the bottom of Davey Jones Locker!

Barney: But magic pixie man, you said FREE REFILLS ON BEER!!! I'll never leave!

Sea Captain: Yarr.... come on in the back, you can drink right from the tap.

Barney: Now you're talking my language! *BELCH*


*BANG*


http://www.virginmedia.com/microsites/movies/slideshow/simpsons-extras/img_2.jpg
Barney Gumble (AggonyDuck) was shot out of a cannon towards a brick wall. His broken body landed in a dumpster. (was murdered by The Sea Captain)Murder number five:Krusty the Clown is on the phone.

Krusty: Yeah? Is that who you want whacked tonight? Well guess what buddy, I've got my own agenda! You call tell the Black Hand to shove it, I don't care who he told you to have me kill!

....I don't care if he gets mad at you. I've got my own agenda, capisce? I want this Reverend guy dead! He's just too freaking irritating!

....yeah, sure... if he asks why his orders weren't carried out, you can have him come talk to me. I'd like to meet this Black Hand fellow personally, because he keeps taking part of my earnings!

...I'm hanging up now. Screw you and the horse you rode in on! I don't care if you're the supposed ringleader! If you're so much of a leader, why don't YOU take care of the Black Hand so we can run this operation ourselves! Good Night!

*SLAMS the phone down*

Krusty: Yutz. I'll murder whoever I darn well please. It's the only way to get ahead in this world, with the Feds all over my back. I hate the Feds, and anyone who ever worked for the Feds!

*dials the phone*

Krusty: Hello, Reverend? Yeah, it's Krusty. No, I'm not converting. But I do have some sins I'd like to confess....


http://www.24-7simpsons.com/reverend%20lovejoy%202.jpg

Reverend Lovejoy (Thermal Mercury/Ares) was murdered by Krusty the Clown.

-------------Summary---------------

Taka is murdered by Fat Tony
shlin28 is murdered by Nelson Muntz
Ichigo (Gil Gunderson/Nelson Muntz) is murdered by Sideshow Bob
AggonyDuck is murdered by Captain McCallister
Thermal Mercury/Ares is murdered by Krusty the Clown









Alive: 17


Beefy
Boudica
Chaotix27
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Glenn
Death is Yonder
Jolt
Khazaar
Navarro
NorthNovas
SplitPersonality
Greyblades
Beaver
Sasaki Kojiro
YLC
Yoyoma1910

Lynched: (4)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson
Olavi- Lisa Simpson, the Detective

Murdered: (18)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos
Quintus.JC- Herman
GeneralHankerchief- Squeaky Voiced Teen
Psychonaut- Charles Montgomery Burns
A Very Super Market- Apu Nahassapeemapetilon
Lord Winter- Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Captain Blackadder- Abraham Jay Simpson (as The Black Hand)
Taka- Nick Riviera
Shlin28- Carl Carlson
Ichigo- Nelson Muntz (As Gil Gunderson)
AggonyDuck- Barney Gumble
Thermal Mercury/Ares- Reverend Lovejoy


Retired Filthy Stinking Rich: (1)

Fixiwee- Marge Simpson (as Agnes Skinner)


http://immagini.p2pforum.it/out.php/i318776_HomerSimpson.jpg


BEGIN DAY FIVE. All votes must be in by 2359, April 25th, My time. (GMT-5:00)

[Askthepizzaguy]

Day Five:

The people of Springfield gathered together a fifth time, feeling depressed and hopeless. Given the sheer numbers of the mafia left remaining, it seemed impossible that they would actually allow someone important to be lynched. The votes were tallied, and Edna Krabappel sat looking just as miserable as the rest of the town.

"Ha! Looks like I was doomed to die alone after all..." said Edna Krabappel.

Seymour Skinner: "Alone? You've got me... thanks to you, I've finally had relations!"

Edna Krabappel: Seymour, I was looking for a real man. Someone who I perhaps wouldn't have had to teach everything to. I teach all day, and grade papers all night. Before I go to bed, I don't have time to teach you anything good.

Seymour: Oh. Well, this is awkward. Perhaps one last kiss for old time's sake?

Edna took a long drag on her cigarette, and gave Skinner a kiss... a long, deep, passionate kiss... until smoke came out his ears.

Seymour: *cough cough* Mmmm.... tastes just like an ashtray.

Edna: You're hardly Prince Charming yourself. At least Superintendent Chalmers knows how to satisfy a woman.

Seymour: What the...? Superintendent Chalmers???

Edna: See ya, Skinny boy... :wink:

Krusty the Clown: Okay.... Miss Krabtree... you're up. Looks like you got the most votes, smokey.

Edna: I think you're confusing me with the late bus driver from South Park. Don't you ever take off that makeup, you big queen?

Krusty: I got news for ya, dollface... this ain't makeup! :clown:

Edna: *shudders* I'm actually glad I played tonsil hockey with Seymour. Most of the rest of you so-called men in this town are fat ugly slobs with hideous mistakes where their faces should be.

Krusty: Time's up. Get her!!!

*a group of men in suits advance on Edna Krabappel. Just then, Groundskeeper Willie steps in between her and the suits, armed with a pitchfork.

Willie: Nobody touches this fine lass! Before you lay a hand on her, you've got to get though me! Willie won't hurt ya... he'll just KILL YA!!!!

*the men in suits take out guns and point them at Willie and Krabappel.*

Willie: Ach... I've died in every game so far. This one's no different. I'll be back for the next episode! Willie is a beloved character, you can't kill him off!

Edna: Take off the mask, Willie... it's over.

Willie: Oh fine. *takes off Willie mask* Hi friends, it's me... Lyle Lanley. I sold you that lovely monorail that I see is still partly standing! How is the old girl running anyway? I've sold monorails to Odgenville, Brockway, and North Haverbrook! I'll put Springfield on the map... well... I was going to put Springfield on the map. Now, you're just a nameless town no one has ever heard of filled with dumb rednecks. I just got hired by this lovely woman, and I was looking forward to utterly destroying this town... I have this shiny gun I just bought, and I'm prepared to use it. Anything for precious, precious money....

Edna: Cover me while I make my escape....

Lyle Lanley: Oh, no thanks, Governor. You're on your own, toots. Lyle is no one's fall guy. You go your way, and I'll go mine.

Governor Mary Bailey: *sigh* where's the Black Hand when I need him? The lack of votes this round is what did me in... I thought my "vote or Die" campaign last election year went really well. Guess you can't count on the Mob for anything these days. I'll remember this betrayal... and some day... I'll return and KILL that worthless, bloated "Black Hand". Seems like the "Hand" dropped the ball on this one. So long everyone! Remember to always vote for the Capital City Democratic Party!

Krusty: Democrats? DEMOCRATS??? Even better. I've been waiting for this for a long time, my little blue friends... heh heh heh. LONG LIVE THE SHELBYVILLE REPUBLICAN PARTY!!! OPEN FIRE, BOYS!!!

*click, click*
*automatic weapons fire*

Krusty the Clown: BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAA!!!! Die you tree-hugging enviro-freaks! Bunch of corrupt labor-union loving commies! Heh heh heh.... ooooohhhhhhh.... I haven't laughed like that since Sideshow Bob got thrown in jail for the fifteenth time. Ohhh... my sides.





Governor Mary Bailey, (boudica) also known as Edna Krabappel, of the Capital City Democratic Party, was lynched. Her henchman Lyle Lanley, (Sasaki Kojiro) also known as Groundskeeper Willie, was killed in the crossfire.




Alive: 15


Beefy
Chaotix27
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Glenn
Death is Yonder
Jolt
Khazaar
Navarro
NorthNovas
SplitPersonality
Greyblades
Beaver
YLC
Yoyoma1910

Lynched: (6)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson
Olavi- Lisa Simpson, the Detective
Boudica- Governor Mary Bailey (as Edna Krabappel)
Sasaki Kojiro- Lyle Lanley (as Groundskeeper Willie)

Murdered: (18)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos
Quintus.JC- Herman
GeneralHankerchief- Squeaky Voiced Teen
Psychonaut- Charles Montgomery Burns
A Very Super Market- Apu Nahassapeemapetilon
Lord Winter- Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Captain Blackadder- Abraham Jay Simpson (as The Black Hand)
Taka- Nick Riviera
Shlin28- Carl Carlson
Ichigo- Nelson Muntz (As Gil Gunderson)
AggonyDuck- Barney Gumble
Thermal Mercury/Ares- Reverend Lovejoy


Retired Filthy Stinking Rich: (1)

Fixiwee- Marge Simpson (as Agnes Skinner)




Lucky shot/excellent detective work. Though seriously, had the Black Hand been around... I'm pretty sure boudica would have survived the round. I'm distressed by the lack of votes this round, but... perhaps the threat of WOG and also the loss of an entire family will :whip: people back into action. Remember... the Wrath of the Five Fingered God is coming...

You have less than 24 hours to get me your night kills, mafia scum. Until 2359 GMT-5:00, today the 26th of April.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Night Five



Greetings, Bob.

I reviewed the plan you sent me last night. Quite ingenious indeed, dear brother. Seems a bit risky, but sometimes, patience is the watchword. Those miserable Springfieldians seem to be crying out for a hero, and some think that it is you... how laughable. I think these gluttonous morons have been eating a bit too much Kentucky fried chicken. You're here to destroy them all, not slow dance with them under the pale moonlight.

As for me, I suppose I can endure a few more nights of this dreary prison cell. As long as I have my phone privileges, so I can make some prank calls, I'm happy. It's amazing how much you can do with a simple phone call. I seem to recall a certain Chief of Police getting his gullet stuffed with something besides pizza. I hope you enjoy your stay in Hell, you miserable sack of bloated lard. Mwahahaha...

I'll do what I can from my end, just make sure they all pay... make sure they all suffer, dear brother.

Murderously yours,

Cecil Terwilliger




Murder number oneNed Flanders: Well Hidely-Ho, Sailoreeno! Rod and Todd are going to have the seafood platter, and I'll have some sushi, with just a taste of fogu.

Sea Captain: Yarr... that fish be highly toxic if prepared incorrectly. I'll put by best chef on this order, yarrr.

Ned Flanders: Okely-dokely! Might I ask, though, if I can get a clean glass for my non-alcoholic beverage? This one seems to be covered in fingerprints.

Sea Captain: Yarr.

Ned Flanders: Oh, and would you please turn the music down? Ordinarily I love a good jaunty tune but I have a bit of a headache tonight.

Sea Captain: Yarr.

Ned Flanders: And perhaps another set of utensils? Your dishwasher seems to have missed a spot.

Sea Captain: Yarr.

Ned Flanders: Aw heck, don't worry about that, I brought my own plastic utensils. Hey, Flanders family, how about some Bible stories while we wait for the food to arrive?

Rod and Todd: YAYYYYY!!!!

Sea Captain: .......Yarr.

Ned Flanders: Mister Captain McCallister, would you join in our pre-meal pre-prayer prayer?

Sea Captain: .......Yarr.

*15 minutes later*

Ned Flanders: ...And may the Lord bless Apu, that fine heathen Hindu fella who runs the local convenience store, and lead him back to the path of Christ. And may the Lord bless Krusty the Clown, and turn him also towards the path of Christ. And may the Lord bless Captain McCallister, who is... I forget, what religion are you?

Sea Captain: Yarrr.... West African Vodun.

Ned Flanders: Wow... you're completely lost. Would you mind if I told you all about Jesus Christ?

*plops a Bible and a pile of religious pamphlets down in front of the Sea Captain.*

Sea Captain: Yarr.... I would, actually. I have things I have to go... do....

Ned Flanders: Oh, there's always time to save your soul, dear friend. You see, according to the completely true and proven fact Word of the Lord God Almighty, once upon a time there was nothingness, and Jehovah spoke the world into existence....

Sea Captain: Yarr.... *sighs*

*3 hours later*

Ned Flanders: And so then, the Lord spoke unto him and told him to sacrifice his son on an altar, like all good Godly people would if the Lord told them to do so. Right Rod and Todd?

Rod and Todd: YAYYYYY!!! Sacrifice us to the Lord!!!

Sea Captain: .......yarr.....

*3 hours later*

Ned Flanders: Now, I'd like to sing you a song about Christ being risen from the dead.

Sea Captain: Did you eat your blowfish?

Ned Flanders: I sure did and it was deeeeeee...scrumdidleyumptious.

Sea Captain: Good. Now get out.


http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tvsquad.com/media/2006/05/25904_NedFlanders.jpg


Ned Flanders (Diana Abnoba) died from blowfish toxins (was murdered by the Sea Captain)Murder number twoAristotle Amidopolis: With Montgomery Burns out of the way, it looks like I'll be running the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant! I just bought it for 100 million dollars! Soon, I'll have this miserable little town on it's knees, as I jack up the price of their electricity by leaps and bounds every month!

Krusty the Clown: That's lovely. But would you please get out of my office? I'm trying to read this Playdude and enjoy a fine Cuban cigar in peace.

Aristotle Amidopolis: I simply cannot help myself! I have to gloat in front of all the unwashed rednecks in this town!

Krusty: Listen, pal... you're really trying my patience here. You really don't want to mess with me. I'm not having a good day.

Amidopolis: I don't care, you pathetic little person! You'll never have as much money as me!

Krusty: You have a lot of money?

Amidopolis: I'm filthy stinking rich!

Krusty: Really?

Amidopolis: Absolutely, and I don't care who knows about it, because I am VOICED by the great Jon Lovitz!

Krusty: You have a lot of cash or credit cards on you right this moment?

Amidopolis: Not only that, but my pockets are full of gold coins, and all my watches and jewelry are all made of solid gold, platinum, and encrusted with jewels!

Krusty: You don't say. Let me get my comedy hammer and beat you senseless with it. More money for me to pay back those lousy Feds... I hate anyone who ever worked for the Federal Government, especially the treasury department. Lousy IRS!

Amidopolis: What was that about a comedy hammer?

*SMASH*

Krusty: Good, now he's dead and I can steal all his stuff.

Amidopolis: ACTING!!!!

Krusty takes out a gun and shoots him eleven times in the face.



http://www.luds.net/gueststars/3/amadopolis.gif

Aristotle Amidopolis (Yoyoma1910) was murdered by Krusty the Clown.Murder number threeFat Tony: Come on in, mister Meyers.

Roger Meyers, Jr: What was it you wanted to talk to me about, mister....

Fat Tony: D'Amico. Anthony D'Amico. Some people affectionately refer to me as Fat Tony. But you can call me Anthony. I like that name.

Roger Meyers Jr: You mentioned something about buying Itchy and Scratchy Enterprises from me? You must be an awfully rich man, mister... Anthony.

Fat Tony: Please, call me D'Amico. Actually, mister Meyers, I was not so much talking about buying Itchy and Scratchy from you, but, I would like you to sign over all your shares of your company to me.

Roger Meyers Jr: *balks at the idea* And just why should I do that, D'Amico?

Fat Tony: Please, call me Fat Tony. The reason being, I have this gun, and I have this meat grinder, and I have this chainsaw, and I have a strong desire to murder you if you don't comply.

Roger Meyers Jr: Do your worst, Fat Tony.

Fat Tony: As you wish.

*BANG BANG* Fat Tony shoots Roger Meyers Jr in the knees with his gun, then
*BRRRRAWWWWWW* Fat Tony slices Roger Meyers Jr into chunks and then grinds him up... and makes spicy meatballs out of him, Itchy and Scratchy style.


https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/27/RogerMeyers.png

Roger Meyers, Jr (Jolt) is murdered by Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico, also known as the Black Hand.


____________Summary____________

Diana Abnoba was murdered by the Sea Captain
Yoyoma1910 was murdered by Krusty the Clown
Jolt was murdered by Fat Tony
Sideshow Bob abstained from murdering....





Alive: 12


Beefy
Chaotix27
El Diablo
Glenn
Death is Yonder
Khazaar
Navarro
NorthNovas
SplitPersonality
Greyblades
Beaver
YLC

Lynched: (6)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson
Olavi- Lisa Simpson, the Detective
Boudica- Governor Mary Bailey (as Edna Krabappel)
Sasaki Kojiro- Lyle Lanley (as Groundskeeper Willie)

Murdered: (21)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos
Quintus.JC- Herman
GeneralHankerchief- Squeaky Voiced Teen
Psychonaut- Charles Montgomery Burns
A Very Super Market- Apu Nahassapeemapetilon
Lord Winter- Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Captain Blackadder- Abraham Jay Simpson (as The Black Hand)
Taka- Nick Riviera
Shlin28- Carl Carlson
Ichigo- Nelson Muntz (As Gil Gunderson)
AggonyDuck- Barney Gumble
Thermal Mercury/Ares- Reverend Lovejoy
Diana Abnoba- Ned Flanders
Yoyoma1910- Aristotle Amidopolis
Jolt- Roger Meyers, Jr.

Retired Filthy Stinking Rich: (1)

Fixiwee- Marge Simpson (as Agnes Skinner)



http://immagini.p2pforum.it/out.php/i318776_HomerSimpson.jpg



Begin Day Six. You have the usual 48 hours to get all your votes in, plus the remaining time left from this night phase (less than 5 hours). That gives you until 2359, April 28th, (GMT-5:00) to vote and contribute to the discussion. If you do not... you will probably be WOGed.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Day Six-




(telephone conversation)

Fat Tony- What? That dirty rat... he betrayed me... that miserable clown! I'll murder him. I'll destroy him. I'll smash his head in with a lead pipe and feed him his own brains.

Johnny Tightlips- The town may wish to know his identity... but there's nothing you can do. The townspeople are coming to kill you, as is the clown. Go out fighting, loyal Consigliere.

Fat Tony- Tell Krusty the Clown that I'll be waiting for him.


-Springfieldians break into Fat Tony's mansion-

Fat Tony- Ok. You wanna play rough? Ok... say hello to my little friend.

*machine gun fire*

Fat Tony- Worthless little vermin. I'll kill you all... where's the Clown? All I want is a taste of his blood. Come here, you pie-eating louse.

*BANG*

Krusty the Clown- I'm right here, you fat waste of skin. Birch Barlow says hello, and GOODBYE!

*exchange of gunfire*

Fat Tony- You can't kill me, I'm Tony D'Amico! Do you even have any clue as to how important I am? You're nothing compared to me.

Krusty the Clown- You're nothing, all right. When I get through with you, you will be a big fat dead nothing.

*exchange of gunfire*

Fat Tony- come on, clown! If this is the best you can do, you might as well give up.

Krusty the Clown- why don't you take that Black Hand of yours, and stick it straight up your...

*BANG*

*clinking sound*

Fat Tony- I hope you like rocket propelled grenades. Time to say good-bye...

Krusty the Clown- Holy freakin' Moses! I don't have a rocket launcher, but I do have a surprise for you!

Fat Tony- Oh yeah? What's that?

Krusty- Here's a hint: Look down!


http://www.lifehack.org/wp-content/files/2007/10/grenade.png

KABOOM.


https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/fat-tony-3.png


Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico, Also known as The new Black Hand of Springfield, was lynched.


(telephone call)
Don Vittorio DiMaggio: Well done, Birch Barlow. It seems your henchman exposed the Black Hand and got him lynched... as you know, that means I am looking for someone else to replace him. Perhaps someone more cunning. I like the cut of your jib, Barlow. Tell Krusty the Clown that there is a generous retirement package waiting for him in Tijuana Mexico... and his debts with the IRS are hereby erased. He's also filthy stinkin' rich. As for you, mister Barlow... if you help me destroy this town, you won't be filthy stinkin' rich... you'll be obscenely, insanely rich, and you'll command a criminal empire the likes of which no one has ever seen before.


Birch Barlow is the new Black Hand of Springfield.
Krusty the Clown (YLC), in the guise of Seymour Skinner, has now retired filthy stinkin' rich.

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/e/e5/Krusty_The_Clown.png





Alive: 10


Beefy
Chaotix27
El Diablo
Glenn
Death is Yonder
Navarro
NorthNovas
SplitPersonality
Greyblades
Beaver

Lynched: (7)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson
Olavi- Lisa Simpson, the Detective
Boudica- Governor Mary Bailey (as Edna Krabappel)
Sasaki Kojiro- Lyle Lanley (as Groundskeeper Willie)
Khazaar- Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico (as Kent Brockman)

Murdered: (21)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos
Quintus.JC- Herman
GeneralHankerchief- Squeaky Voiced Teen
Psychonaut- Charles Montgomery Burns
A Very Super Market- Apu Nahassapeemapetilon
Lord Winter- Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Captain Blackadder- Abraham Jay Simpson (as The Black Hand)
Taka- Nick Riviera
Shlin28- Carl Carlson
Ichigo- Nelson Muntz (As Gil Gunderson)
AggonyDuck- Barney Gumble
Thermal Mercury/Ares- Reverend Lovejoy
Diana Abnoba- Ned Flanders
Yoyoma1910- Aristotle Amidopolis
Jolt- Roger Meyers, Jr.

Retired Filthy Stinking Rich: (2)

Fixiwee- Marge Simpson (as Agnes Skinner)
YLC- Krusty the Clown (As Seymour Skinner)

[Askthepizzaguy]

Night Six



Greetings, Bob.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA


Cecil Terwilliger

Murder number one:
Lenny Leonard sat at The Frying Dutchman working furiously to solve the case.

"Wait a minute... why am I trying to solve the case... here?"

Sea Captain: Because you're a moron?

Lenny: Awww nuts.


http://www.blogdelossimpson.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/lenny.gif

Lenny Leonard (Death is Yonder) is harpooned by the Sea Captain.Murder number two:
Don Vittorio DiMaggio: (via videophone) Welcome, Consigliere to the inner circle. I am impressed that you managed to kill Fat Tony... he was a dear, dear friend to me. However, you've proven yourself to be a ruthless scumbag; worthy of the legacy of the Black Hand.

Birch Barlow: Thanks very much. Now regarding this Sideshow Bob fellow. Are we sure we even need to go after him? I mean he's done a very good job taking care of those lefty liberals in this hick little podunk town. Personally, I think we all thrived under the Terwilliger administration. I'd prefer to have a cold-blooded killer running this town over some namby-pamby goody-goody bleeding heart flag-burning tofu-eating pot-smoking....

Don Vittorio: Mister Barlow... please, don'ta make-a me upset. You do have a cold-blooded killer running this town. I run this stinking city, and don't you forget it.

Birch Barlow: Of course. I am honored to serve you. Now, who is working for me?

Don Vittorio: Believe it or not, your former rivals of the Japanese Mafia. After Krusty's wealthy retirement, Akira and Horatio are the only scumbags left still working for us. They should be arriving shortly from the Happy Sumo.

*knocks at the door*

Birch Barlow: If this is another damned hippie who wants to save the whales or the snails or the soil bacteria, I will blast your :daisy: head clean off your shoulders with my shotgun.

Akira: Forgiveness, please. We come to serve. (Akira enters with Horatio McCallister)

Birch Barlow: So, Akira... we meet at last. I was going to dispose of you, but apparently you work for me now.

Akira: Yes. :bow: So it would seem, anyway.

Sea Captain: Yarr.

*Akira produces a samurai blade*

Birch Barlow: Treachery? Within the mafia? I never would have guessed. It's so unlike you.

Akira: Ah ha ha. Ha.

Sea Captain: Yarr.

*McCallister withdraws a curved blade from the sheath on his belt*

Don Vittorio DiMaggio (via videophone): Gentlemen, gentlemen... this is no way for proper henchmen to act. Birch Barlow is your superior. I guarantee you, if you kill him, my men will destroy you.

Birch Barlow: That won't be necessary...

*Barlow produces an AK-47*

Birch Barlow: Ordinarily I'd buy American, but this will do in a pinch. Didn't you morons ever hear the expression "never bring a sword to a gunfight"?

*the videophone suddenly crackles silent and goes blank. Then, Sideshow Bob appears.*

Sideshow Bob: Greetings, you predictably treacherous loathsome scumbags. Pardon the interruption. I've been monitoring your progress in taking over this town, and I must say, well done. Of particular note is the fact that the meddlesome Simpson family is all but wiped out, except for one. However, if I might interject... "never bring a gun to a nitroglycerin fight". You see, your entire lair has been coated with it, and explosive charges have been placed under the floorboards, in the ceiling, crammed into the walls, and the insulation has been replaced with gunpowder. You delightful little wannabe mass murderers deserve to go out with a bang...






:wink:














https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/explosion.jpg

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/c/c5/Akira.gif
Akira (Beefy187), Godfather of the Yakuza, in the guise of Moe the Bartender, and Birch Barlow (Greyblades) recently promoted Black Hand of Springfield, Godfather of the Shelbyville Republican Party, in the guise of Lionel Hutz, attorney at law, were both incinerated by Sideshow Bob.
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/5/53/Birch_barlow.jpg


Captain Horatio McCallister (El Diablo), Akira's henchman in the guise of Dr. Hibbert, also died in the explosion.
http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/0/06/The_Sea_Captain.gif


________summary_________

:devil: demonic laughter :devil:









Alive: 6


Chaotix27
Glenn
Navarro
NorthNovas
SplitPersonality
Beaver

Lynched: (7)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson
Olavi- Lisa Simpson, the Detective
Boudica- Governor Mary Bailey (as Edna Krabappel)
Sasaki Kojiro- Lyle Lanley (as Groundskeeper Willie)
Khazaar- Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico (as Kent Brockman)

Murdered: (25)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos
Quintus.JC- Herman
GeneralHankerchief- Squeaky Voiced Teen
Psychonaut- Charles Montgomery Burns
A Very Super Market- Apu Nahassapeemapetilon
Lord Winter- Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Captain Blackadder- Abraham Jay Simpson (as The Black Hand)
Taka- Nick Riviera
Shlin28- Carl Carlson
Ichigo- Nelson Muntz (As Gil Gunderson)
AggonyDuck- Barney Gumble
Thermal Mercury/Ares- Reverend Lovejoy
Diana Abnoba- Ned Flanders
Yoyoma1910- Aristotle Amidopolis
Jolt- Roger Meyers, Jr.
Death is Yonder- Lenny Leonard
Beefy- Akira (as Moe the Bartender)
El Diablo- Captain McCallister (as Dr. Hibbert)
Greyblades- Birch Barlow (as Lionel Hutz)

Retired Filthy Stinking Rich: (2)

Fixiwee- Marge Simpson (as Agnes Skinner)
YLC- Krusty the Clown (As Seymour Skinner)





Oh, what delightful carnage...

Your votes, please... I think we can polish off this game in the next 24 hours. Please, everyone participate and vote. If you need an extension, I'll give you the full 48. Round tenatively ends today at 2359, GMT-5

[Askthepizzaguy]

Day Seven


Hi I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such mafia games as The Full Monty and The Treehouse of Horror. In the last game I was an actor, and lynching me resulted in a victory due to my dramatic and award-winning performance. But ever since then I've been out of work, and even my fish won't make love to me anymore. As such, regrettably, I am no longer an actor, friends. And since you've voted in the majority to lynch me, might I say, at the last... I was just a townie. Best of luck to you.



http://nativopartenopeo.blogspirit.com/images/medium_troy_mcclure.jpg








Alive: 5


Glenn
Navarro
NorthNovas
SplitPersonality
Beaver

Lynched: (8)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson
Olavi- Lisa Simpson, the Detective
Boudica- Governor Mary Bailey (as Edna Krabappel)
Sasaki Kojiro- Lyle Lanley (as Groundskeeper Willie)
Khazaar- Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico (as Kent Brockman)
Chaotix27- Troy McClure

Murdered: (25)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos
Quintus.JC- Herman
GeneralHankerchief- Squeaky Voiced Teen
Psychonaut- Charles Montgomery Burns
A Very Super Market- Apu Nahassapeemapetilon
Lord Winter- Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Captain Blackadder- Abraham Jay Simpson (as The Black Hand)
Taka- Nick Riviera
Shlin28- Carl Carlson
Ichigo- Nelson Muntz (As Gil Gunderson)
AggonyDuck- Barney Gumble
Thermal Mercury/Ares- Reverend Lovejoy
Diana Abnoba- Ned Flanders
Yoyoma1910- Aristotle Amidopolis
Jolt- Roger Meyers, Jr.
Death is Yonder- Lenny Leonard
Beefy- Akira (as Moe the Bartender)
El Diablo- Captain McCallister (as Dr. Hibbert)
Greyblades- Birch Barlow (as Lionel Hutz)

Retired Filthy Stinking Rich: (2)

Fixiwee- Marge Simpson (as Agnes Skinner)
YLC- Krusty the Clown (As Seymour Skinner)




I'll be ending Night Seven a little early, as I think I have all the orders in. However, I don't have the energy to do a creative writeup yet. Bwahahahaha....

[Askthepizzaguy]

Night Seven


Greetings, Bob

You're doing an excellent job annihilating the town. I am impressed you made it this far. However, it appears you still have one rat left to exterminate, and you're way off. You missed again. Come now, dear brother, it should be obvious who it is. From my perspective, anyway... I just happen to know these things. But you... you're a criminal genius, surely you didn't spend all those years in college just to bungle a simple 50/50 choice.

I look forward to your victory brother, but if you fail, I intend to laugh at you anyway. You were always unsuccessful in your criminal pursuits... if you mess this one up, not only will it be time to throw in the towel, but you'll be dead as a doornail anyway. I'll leave this prison under my own power. I've managed to tunnel my way through our old escape route and I should be out by tomorrow, assuming it doesn't collapse again. To be honest, the only thing these prison forks are useful for is tunneling, since the food is so repulsive. I'm sorry I haven't left any clues regarding the head mobster... that is one you'll have to figure out on your own. It's much like our little logic puzzles we used to play when we were in kindergarten... I can't make the puzzle so easy that there is an obvious solution. Sometimes, you just have to guess. Then again, maybe I care for you so much, dear brother, that I just couldn't resist. Especially since I dropped a few hints regarding your identity as well over the course of these many nights.

I am anxious to see the results of this final round. You are playing a very dangerous game.

-Cecil Terwilliger

Murder number one:So, you thought you could escape... don't you realize that your entire family has been destroyed? Don't you understand, little one, that I simply cannot let the bloodline continue? With your death, little innocent one, I ensure that my hated rivals the Simpsons will never, ever return to foul up my evil plans ever again. I apologize that it must come down to this, as you're too young to understand. But I'm not such a bad fellow, once you get to know me. Unfortunately, you'll never get that chance. Perhaps this is a new low for me, but you've died in previous games, and we were pretty brutal towards you then. So this time, it's no different. What's that? You want your mommy? Well she is a bad mother for abandoning you to a sick psychopath like me. She might have been planning to take you with her, but since she left the door unlocked, and she's leaving town tomorrow filthy stinking rich, I think her massive piles of cash can drown her sorrows.

I suppose I'll have to hunt her down as well... Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha....
good-bye, Maggie Simpson.

http://people.zeelandnet.nl/kevinr/maggie640.gif


Maggie Simpson (SplitPersonality) was brutally murdered by Sideshow Bob.Murder number two:

Don Vittorio DiMaggio: Come on in, mister-a Van Houten. I understand you've been-a working for the Springfield Cracker Factory for some-a time now.

Kirk van Houten: Uhhh... yes sir. I've gotten really good at manning the salting machine.

DiMaggio: Is that-a so?

Van Houten: Yes sir. I was hoping, given my many years of loyal service, you might possibly consider... giving me a raise?

DiMaggio: A raise??? Why should I do this.

Van Houten: Well, my son was murdered by Sideshow Bob. I kind of need the money for a funeral.

DiMaggio: I see. Well, just how loyal are you? Would you consider joining my organized crime syndicate as a loyal henchman, murdering upon command like-a good little soldato?

Van Houten: What??? No, I could never murder anyone...

DiMaggio: It seems then that you do need this-a raise. However, you will need to pay for two funerals instead of one.
*takes out a gun*

DiMaggio: I'm sorry, but I expect 100% loyalty from everyone at this cracker factory. You have been useful to me in that you've assisted me in trying to track down the clown. However, in that regard, you have-a failed. And since you won't join my mafia family, you're of no further use to me.

*BANG*


http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/c/c6/Kirk_Van_Houten.gif

Kirk Van Houten (NorthNovas) has been murdered by Don Vittorio DiMaggio.




Alive: 3

Yaropolk
Navarro
Beaver

(Yaropolk in for Glenn)


Lynched: (8)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson
Olavi- Lisa Simpson, the Detective
Boudica- Governor Mary Bailey (as Edna Krabappel)
Sasaki Kojiro- Lyle Lanley (as Groundskeeper Willie)
Khazaar- Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico (as Kent Brockman)
Chaotix27- Troy McClure

Murdered: (25)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos
Quintus.JC- Herman
GeneralHankerchief- Squeaky Voiced Teen
Psychonaut- Charles Montgomery Burns
A Very Super Market- Apu Nahassapeemapetilon
Lord Winter- Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Captain Blackadder- Abraham Jay Simpson (as The Black Hand)
Taka- Nick Riviera
Shlin28- Carl Carlson
Ichigo- Nelson Muntz (As Gil Gunderson)
AggonyDuck- Barney Gumble
Thermal Mercury/Ares- Reverend Lovejoy
Diana Abnoba- Ned Flanders
Yoyoma1910- Aristotle Amidopolis
Jolt- Roger Meyers, Jr.
Death is Yonder- Lenny Leonard
Beefy- Akira (as Moe the Bartender)
El Diablo- Captain McCallister (as Dr. Hibbert)
Greyblades- Birch Barlow (as Lionel Hutz)
Splitpersonality- Maggie Simpson
NorthNovas- Kirk van Houten

Retired Filthy Stinking Rich: (2)

Fixiwee- Marge Simpson (as Agnes Skinner)
YLC- Krusty the Clown (As Seymour Skinner)




I need votes from all 3 of you gentlemen. let's finish this one off. You have a little over 24 hours to vote. Voting ends at 2359, May 03, GMT-5.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Final Day


The remaining citizens of Springfield gathered together one last time to destroy the vile criminal element. Hans Moleman was present to tally up all the votes.


http://www.simpsonovci.com/img/postavy/moleman.gif

Hans Moleman: Oh dear... where are my glasses... oh... let's see... that's one vote for me... and one vote for Rainier Wolfcastle... and one vote for.... uh... oh dear... oh dear... that's not goooood.... oh.


https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/wolfcastle1.gif

Rainier Wolfcastle: (Arnold Schwarzenegger/monotone voice) What is it, my little peanut-flavored wrinkly girly-man? Did I survive? Of course. I always survive... I'm... MCBAIN. Time to take out the garbage. Your show has been canceled. That's the final curtain. Hasta la Vista. Good night und good luck. And don't forget to brush und floss. And that's the way the rubber ball bounces, you flabby little ball of wrinkles who is just a big baby und you wear diapers und you eat your own baby poop.


https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/banner1.gif

Rex Banner: That's enough, you're a lousy actor, and you sound like you're drunk. I'm going to have to search you for alcohol later. For now, this Hans Mole-character needs to face the swift and terrible consequences of running an illegal booze trafficking business in this precious city. No one runs around like a criminal in Springfield when Rex Banner is around. No murdering, and especially no booze. Listen, rummy, I'm gonna say it plain and simple. Where'd you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger jerking suds on the side?

*they both look at him, puzzled*

Hans Moleman: Well... I guess I'm next... I've lived long enough, I suppose... I'm 31 years old! I look like this because I drank too much in my wilder, younger years...

Rex Banner: AHA! I caught you red handed, you booze-hounding, hooch-pinching, gin-rummy wino, alcohol-drinking...

Rainier Wolfcastle: No, listen pretty boy... You're too much of a puny girly-man. I'll put this booze hound on the path to sob-er-i-et-y. With my gun. Watch me kill him until he is dead.

Rex Banner: I'm afraid not, hooch-fiend! You may be an overzealous townie, but you can't administer justice. Only a trained federal officer can do that. I used to work for the Treasury department.

Hans Moleman: What about... Moleman.... Don't I get any clues... oh... well I suppose there was one... Cecil wrote a letter, and here's what it said...


However, it appears you still have one rat left to exterminate...

Hans Moleman: A rodent... what other kinds of animals are rodents... perhaps gophers... they make holes in the ground...


I've managed to tunnel my way through our old escape route and I should be out by tomorrow, assuming it doesn't collapse again. To be honest, the only thing these prison forks are useful for is tunneling, since the food is so repulsive.

Hans Moleman: References to tunneling in the ground... kind of like a mole. It's almost as though he's referring to some kind of a... Mole man. Oh... my head hurts... I think I'm going to end it all...

Rainier Wolfcastle: No, listen you dried up prune, you will sit und wait for your execution. You don't kill yourself, that's the girly-man's way out.

Hans Moleman: Well, I've got news for you buddy, I'm not even Hans Moleman... *takes off his mask*


http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31J4G29Y9HL._SS500_.jpg

Don Vittorio DiMaggio: Yes, that's-a right. I'm the mafioso you've been looking for all this-a time. I'm the Capo de Tutti Capi, the Don of Dons, and I run the entire D'Amico criminal syndicate in this state of-a Springfield. Now, unfortunately, mister McBain... I love-a your movies, but you've made the wrong choice to lynch-a your superiors. No one threatens Don Vittorio DiMaggio and-a lives to tell the tale.


http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/5/50/Vittorio.jpg

*Don Vittorio takes out a silenced pistol* and aims it at Rex Banner and McBain.*

Rainier Wolfcastle: You call that a gun, girly-man... THIS IS A GUN.


http://ruthlessreviews.com/80saction/pics/mcbain3.jpg

*Rainier Wolfcastle takes out a hand gun that looks like a cannon.*

Don Vittorio: Ah hahahahha... you have a nice big fat gun, but it's probably some American-made piece-a of crap... everyone knows if you want a well made firearm, you have to-a get one from Italy.

*Rex Banner takes out a gun as well.*


http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/thumb/3/34/Rex.gif/200px-Rex.gif

Rex Banner: Now hold on, you're both under arrest! Drop the gun, DiMaggio! You too, McBain! I said drop it! DROP IT!!!

Don Vittorio: Just one last question before I die... which one of you was Sideshow Bob?

Rainier Wolfcastle: Not McBain. I might be a decent actor, but that clown is too puny.

Rex Banner: I resent the implication that I could be a serial killing criminal mastermind. Especially when the accusation is coming from you, you filthy scumbag! I'd be willing to bet it was YOU the whole time, playing this town for a bunch of saps! YOU'RE Sideshow Bob, AND Don Vittorio DiMaggio!!!

Don Vittorio: What? No... that's-a not true...

Rainier Wolfcastle: McBain has heard enough. You're a mafia scumbag, und that means lights out for you.


http://www.carleton.edu/curricular/MEDA/classes/media110/Cho/mcbain2.gif


BLAM! BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!

*McBain walks over to Vittorio's dead body and points his hand cannon down at the Don's face.*

McBain: Merry Christmas, you greasy meatball.

BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!

McBain: Und happy new year.

BLAM!!

McBain: Und keep the change, you filthy animal.







....to be concluded....

https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/JohnnyTightlips-1.png

Johnny Tightlips




Greetings, Bob.

Well, I've managed to make it out of prison. I hope you enjoyed the death of the mafia scumbag. I think you did an excellent job manipulating the circumstances to your advantage. Well done, brother. Well done. I must say when you began this crime spree I didn't think you had it in you... every dog has his day, I suppose. I had to murder a few guards on the way out of prison, just to get my fingers bloody. I must say, even from prison, I managed to have a lot of fun, myself. I made quite a few phone calls, and it kept me quite busy.

I'll be seeing you tonight, dear brother.


Murderously yours,

Cecil Terwilliger

[Askthepizzaguy]

Final Night


https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/9F22_01.jpg



The Flashback








It all started when Robert Terwilliger, also known as Sideshow Bob, had got paroled (http://www.hulu.com/watch/17622/the-simpsons-sideshow-bobs-parole-hearing) again... thanks to the lousy Capital City Democrats and their soft stance on crime. Through the lobbying efforts of the Shelbyville Republican Party, and effort was made to not only release Bob from prison, but make him into a model citizen. It was then that Sideshow Bob decided that, rather than his ill-fated attempt to seize the office of Mayor of Springfield using fraudulent voting methods, he would simply kill everyone who opposed him. After a "conversion" and being born-again, Sideshow Bob impressed the parole board by being on his best behavior. Listen to how sweetly Sideshow Bob professed his newly found faith (http://www.clayloomis.com/Sounds/simpsongs1/simsg376a.wav). But since Sideshow Bob ended up stabbing someone on his way out of prison, he found his way back in, this time sharing a bunk with Cecil Terwilliger, his younger brother.


https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/Cecile_Terwilliger_2-1.pngCecil Terwilliger: Ya know, Bob, I don't really much care for prison. After I tried to flood (http://www.nohomers.net/SBA/sounds_4F14_N_29.wav) the town by blowing up the hydroelectric dam, I thought I would be set for life. Three meals a day, free health care, television, regular exercise... I'd never have to work again. And of course, being the genius that I am, I could escape at any time. But now that I'm here I must say the food is terrible. These chefs don't have a clue.


https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/bobwall-1.gifBob Terwilliger: So, are you going to keep babbling like an idiot, or do you have a plan to exact revenge upon Springfield and finally give those miserable Simpsons what's coming to them?

Cecil Terwilliger: Oh, even if I had a plan, I'm not telling you what it is. You'll just have to figure it out on your own. For now, though, I suggest you get us out of here. If you manage to get us both out, I'll tell you the plan.


https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/scan7.gifBob Terwilliger: I think that can be arranged. Oh guard? Please, I need to see a doctor. My heart is palpitating, and I need my medication! My precious nitroglycerin, which I have a prescription for, as you can clearly see!

Cecil Terwilliger: Please don't tell me it's actually that easy.

Bob Terwilliger: Sometimes the solution is right in front of your nose.

Cecil Terwilliger: You're going to blow up the walls of the prison?

Bob Terwilliger: No, we're going to tunnel straight through the ground, and use small explosives to blast through the rock. Surely you took chemistry class and know out how to calculate precisely how much nitroglycerin is needed for a small detonation?

Cecil Terwilliger: Actually I spent much of my youth yearning to be Krusty the Clown's sidekick.

Bob Terwilliger: Oh yes, and you went to clown college.

Cecil Terwilliger: I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way.

Bob Terwilliger: Compared to Yale, that's exactly what it is.

*Bob and Cecil begin slapping each other*






The Final Chapter




http://www.luds.net/personnages/mcbain.gif

Rainier Wolfcastle: All right, come out you puny little crime-fighter wannabe. Time to face the McBain Pain.


http://simpsonitos.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/rex_banner.png

Rex Banner: Now listen, you're not fooling anyone anymore. You might as well drop the charade. I've got you on one count of murder, and if you are Sideshow Bob, then you've got 6 additional counts of murder. Plus I saw you drinking alcohol earlier, and that's an arrestable offense in this town.

Rainier Wolfcastle: Vat are you talking about, you stupid puny person? I vas defending myself from a criminal scumbag pointing a gun at me. And for the last time, I am not Sideshow Bob.

Rex Banner: Then who is that standing behind you?

*Mcbain looks behind him and sees Sideshow Cecil Terwilliger standing there, holding a gun.*


http://www.simpsons.nl/marten/cecil.gif

Cecil Terwilliger: Drop your weapon, Banner, or I will light this dynamite and we will all die together.

Rex Banner: I knew you were working with your brother, Cecil Terwilliger, this whole time!

Rainier Wolfcastle: That does it. I'll just have to destroy both of you. I tire of using words on you puny ones.

*BLAM! BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!*

Rainier Wolfcastle (drops his gun): You... you schwein! You shot me... I can feel my life draining from me. My consciousness is fading... mein life ist flashing before my eyes... I remember the commercials I did as a child....

(singing)

Mein bratwurst has a first name,
It's F-R-I-T-Z,
Mein bratwurst has a second name,
It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N.

*Rainier Wolfcaste, also known as Navarro951, drops dead from Cecil's gunshot wounds*



http://www.rob-clarkson.com/duff-brewery/cecil/03.jpg

Cecil Terwilliger felt quite pleased with himself, and started celebrating, and singing (http://www.nohomers.net/SBA/sounds_4F14_N_21.wav).... And then, just a few gunshots later... *BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!!* Another body fell to the ground, stone dead. :bounce:






Looks like our lifelong feud is over, dear brother...

Farewell.... (http://www.hulu.com/watch/7823/the-simpsons-farewell-sideshow-bob)

[Askthepizzaguy]

Just kidding, of course. Though you guys came darn close to another total destruction ending. (Host victory) I am glad that didn't happen otherwise I'll become known as the guy who hosts mafia games just so he can win them.


*BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!!*



https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/images.jpg




And the body which fell to the ground was that of Cecil Terwilliger, also known as Askthepizzaguy, in the guise of Johnny Tightlips.

Cecil Terwilliger: My beautiful master plan... foiled by my own partner... :wall:

Sideshow Bob: Forgive me, my impudent little brother, but you and I were never partners. I did all the dirty work by myself. You couldn't even get out of prison. While I thank you for setting up the organized criminals in this town for a huge failure, you admitted as much in your letters that you were neutral and didn't care who won this battle. And they very easily could have stopped me with a lynch or a silver bullet. Thankfully mister DiMaggio never fired it at me.

Cecil Terwilliger: Well done... dear brother... I suppose I can rest in peace knowing I was bested by someone who wasn't a complete failure. And now, for my dramatic death.


*ack*

Sideshow Bob: And now, with no one left to betray or oppose me, I will now take my rightful place as the sole ruler of all of Springfield... BWAH HAHA HAHAHAA HHAAHAAAAHAAAAAA!!!!



Click on the image for Sideshow Bob's Victory Speech.

https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/SideshowBob-1.jpg (http://www.hulu.com/watch/18895/the-simpsons-sideshow-bobs-victory-laugh)




Good-bye, Springfield... (http://www.clayloomis.com/Sounds/simpsongs1/simsg806.wav)


Alive:

Beaver- Robert Underdunk Terwilliger (as Rex Banner)

Retired Filthy Stinking Rich: (2)

Fixiwee- Marge Simpson (as Agnes Skinner)
YLC- Krusty the Clown (As Seymour Skinner)



Lynched: (9)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson
Olavi- Lisa Simpson, the Detective
Boudica- Governor Mary Bailey (as Edna Krabappel)
Sasaki Kojiro- Lyle Lanley (as Groundskeeper Willie)
Khazaar- Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico (as Kent Brockman)
Chaotix27- Troy McClure
Glenn/Yaropolk- Don Vittorio DiMaggio (as Hans Moleman)

Murdered: (29)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos
Quintus.JC- Herman
GeneralHankerchief- Squeaky Voiced Teen
Psychonaut- Charles Montgomery Burns
A Very Super Market- Apu Nahassapeemapetilon
Lord Winter- Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Captain Blackadder- Abraham Jay Simpson (as The Black Hand)
Taka- Nick Riviera
Shlin28- Carl Carlson
Ichigo- Nelson Muntz (As Gil Gunderson)
AggonyDuck- Barney Gumble
Thermal Mercury/Ares- Reverend Lovejoy
Diana Abnoba- Ned Flanders
Yoyoma1910- Aristotle Amidopolis
Jolt- Roger Meyers, Jr.
Death is Yonder- Lenny Leonard
Beefy- Akira (as Moe the Bartender)
El Diablo- Captain McCallister (as Dr. Hibbert)
Greyblades- Birch Barlow (as Lionel Hutz)
Splitpersonality- Maggie Simpson
NorthNovas- Kirk van Houten
Navarro951- Rainier Wolfcastle
Askthepizzaguy- Cecil Terwilliger (as Johnny Tightlips)

[Askthepizzaguy]

Serial Killer Victory

Winners (3):

Last player standing: Beaver (Sideshow Bob)

Retired Filthy Stinking Rich: Fixiwee (Marge Simpson) and YLC (Krusty the Clown)



https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/sideshow-bob-3.gif

http://www.chicadelatele.com/myfiles/chicadelatele/marge_hot.jpg

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/e/e5/Krusty_The_Clown.png

A little celebratory singing for Sideshow Bob (http://www.clayloomis.com/Sounds/simpsongs1/simsg805.wav)


Thanks everyone for playing the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror game, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves. I'm sorry I didn't give everyone a super-powered role like I did in the previous one, but this was supposed to be a simpler game, one just involving a serial killer and multiple families.



ROLES:


Glenn was randomly selected to be the Capo de Tutti Capi, or Don of Dons, and he chose someone to play his trusted advisor; his consigliere. That choice was Captain Blackadder. He could not murder except for once in the game unless he was the last mafioso standing. His bullet was the only one which could kill Sideshow Bob. He had one lynch and one murder immunity. He was the only one Sideshow Bob couldn't kill with one shot. His lynch immunity, as well as his one-bullet limitation, expired upon becoming the last mafioso standing. His victory condition was to be the last one standing, which meant he wanted his consigliere and all the mafia families to die before the end of the game, but he also needed them to help him kill the townies and find Sideshow Bob. While town did get annihilated, Sideshow Bob eluded his grasp, and poor Glenn ended up being lynched. He had to juggle his desire to destroy his subordinates with his lack of an ability to murder nightly (he's basically a serial killer with one bullet) and also the fact that there were way too many townies to take on by himself, and Sideshow Bob was nearly indestructible himself and would find him and kill him. His identity would be protected from everyone below him because he communicated with his subordinates through Johnny Tightlips (Askthepizzaguy)


Captain Blackadder was chosen to be the original Black Hand of Springfield, the supposed Don of Dons, in reality just a henchman working for Don Vittorio DiMaggio. He chose TheFlax to be Birch Barlow, Boudica to be Mary Bailey, Beefy187 to be Akira, and Khazaar to be Fat Tony. Those would be the 4 Godfathers of Springfield. His victory condition meant that he would have to destroy his boss, the Capo de Tutti Capi, and along with one of the mafia families, survive the game. As long there was only one family remaining (or less) and he himself survived the game, he would win. He would relay commands from the Capo through to his subordinates via Johnny Tightlips (Askthepizzaguy) and therefore remain anonymous from their perspective. Only Glenn knew his identity.

TheFlax (replaced by Greyblades) was Birch Barlow, the Godfather of the Shelbyville Republican Party. He has no ability to murder unless both his henchmen are dead, and he only can have one at a time. He can recruit one if the first one dies. His victory conditions were several:

1. Eliminate all the townies in Springfield
2. Eliminate all the other mafia families in Springfield (including Sideshow Bob)
3. Destroy the Black Hand, and also, become the Capo de Tutti Capi (by killing Glenn)

He selected YLC as his henchman, who went on to destroy Khazaar and make Birch Barlow the Black Hand of Springfield, thus securing his victory condition, as well as one of Greyblades' victory conditions.

Boudica was Governor Mary Bailey, the Godfather of the Capital City Democratic Party. She has no ability to murder unless both her henchmen are dead, and she only can have one at a time. She can recruit one if the first one dies. Her victory conditions were several:

1. Eliminate all the townies in Springfield
2. Eliminate all the other mafia families in Springfield (including Sideshow Bob)
3. Destroy the Black Hand, and also, become the Capo de Tutti Capi (by killing Glenn)


She selected Ichigo as her henchman, who got killed by Sideshow Bob. She then selected Sasaki Kojiro who replaced White_Eyes, but she ended up getting lynched.

Beefy187 was Akira, the Godfather of the Springfield Yakuza, or Japanese Mafia. He has no ability to murder unless both his henchmen are dead, and he only can have one at a time. He can recruit one if the first one dies. His victory conditions were several:

1. Eliminate all the townies in Springfield
2. Eliminate all the other mafia families in Springfield (including Sideshow Bob)
3. Destroy the Black Hand, and also, become the Capo de Tutti Capi (by killing Glenn)

He selected pevergreen to be his henchman, but unfortunately pevergreen got lynched right away, and had to recruit during the first night phase. Then he got El Diablo, who turned out to be unfortunately mostly inactive. Thankfully beefy was allowed to send in El Diablo's kills for him. He was killed by Sideshow Bob.


Khazaar was Fat Tony, the Godfather of the D'Amico Crime family of Springfield. He has no ability to murder unless both his henchmen are dead, and he only can have one at a time. He can recruit one if the first one dies. His victory conditions were several:

1. Eliminate all the townies in Springfield
2. Eliminate all the other mafia families in Springfield (including Sideshow Bob)
3. Destroy the Black Hand, and also, become the Capo de Tutti Capi (by killing Glenn)

He selected Fixiwee to be his henchman, who ended up killing Captain Blackadder and allowing Fat Tony to become the second Black Hand, fulfilling his victory condition and one of Khazaar's in the process. Unfortunately, Khazaar was killed by a rival mafioso, YLC.

Sith|R|Antiwarmancake8, who was replaced by Beaver, was Sideshow Bob. It is a shame he was unable to play this game, and I wish him the best of luck and I hope he comes back to the Org soon. Beaver played the game masterfully, without any real clues or assistance because he was rarely able to read the thread, let alone look for my clues. I am amazed that he managed to elude the 4-5 kills per night at the beginning, and the unrelenting danger of being detected or investigated by all the night roles. No one ever touched him... astounding.

He had the ability to survive any murder, except for the silver bullet from the Capo himself. He was not immune to lynch or investigation, like the Godfathers and the Capo were. He could not kill Glenn with one shot; otherwise he ignored all protective abilities and would kill instantly. We was quite the powerful little villain, but incredibly, none of his abilities ever came in handy. :shame: And his one weakness (Glenn) was exploited.

Olavi- Lisa Simpson (Detective)

Given the sheer number of townies, even in this experimental game, I knew town would be overpowered if I game them many pro-town roles. So there was only one detective and that was it. The mafia had so many victory conditions which involved killing other mafia that the game turned out to be precisely balanced, amazingly. I did not expect the sudden downfall of the mafia at the end to be so completely catastrophic, but I had designed the game in such a way that it was a large possibility. There would be mafia-on-mafia deaths, but I didn't picture say... YLC's open, public betrayal and also Khazaar's reveal on YLC and Greyblades to happen subsequently. Fortunately it didn't help the town that much because Beaver randomly picked Beefy and Greyblades to die that round.

Askthepizzaguy, yours truly, dropped hints both as the host and also as "Cecil Terwilliger", a character I gave myself for the purposes of dropping those hints. There was a real danger that the game would end up with everyone killing each other, and in such a scenario, as with the Golden Rule game, I would claim the victory for myself like a spoiled little bratty host. However, I left a lot of hints for both the townies, mafia, and Serial Killer to avoid that scenario. However, because the identities of the opposing teams were so unknown, there was still a slight chance of there being a host victory again. If they had lynched Navarro951 and then shot each other to death tonight, there would have been no winner. Well, except for the filthy stinking rich people, which I might have used as an excuse not to claim the victory. My role was also pretty darn active; not only was I doing these extensive writeups, but I was also playing mail-carrier for 4 different mafia families, a Capo, and a Consigliere. I went through LITERALLY THOUSANDS of private messages this game, I had to empty my inbox a good dozen or so times, and that's with the 400 messages box. If everyone had killed each other off, I just might have added my name to the winner's circle just for the sheer effort involved. But I made it so that there would definitely be a winner besides me no matter what, and I delight in the fact that I was also murdered by Sideshow Bob at the end of the game, which was the original plan should he have survived. Cecil Terwilliger, from Springfield prison, was the one masquerading as "Johnny Tightlips" and sending those messages back and forth between the rival mafia families at their request. I actually was not only neutral, but helpful. I can't tell you how many times I warned players like Blackadder and Boudica about the unique-ness of their writing style, and that they might have wanted to edit their messages to make them less easy to detect as being from them. Anonymity is useless if people know who you are. So I actually saved Blackadder from an early reveal, and I also advised Glenn when he wanted to use his silver bullet early on that he would probably want to save it for Sideshow Bob. (he wasn't aware that his silver bullet was meant for Bob). When people asked me for advice on how to remain anonymous or survive, I offered some non-game breaking and neutral thoughts which were good in terms of general strategy. I did not favor anyone in the game over anyone else, because as much as I was helping the mafia avoid silly mistakes, I was also dropping deadly clues about them in my writeups, as per usual for all my games since I started hosting them. I do make them typically so obscure (as you will soon find out...) that they really only make sense in retrospect. however, they are there... and if someone figures them out... that's dead mafia. Trouble is, they would have to also convince the town of their interpretation of the clue, if it even is a clue, is the correct one. the clues both helped and hurt, because people went the wrong way on a couple of them. Bottom line: You can't really trust the clues and you have to be pretty smart and vigilant to find them, and persuasive as well for them to have any effect. I'll give a list of the clues/hints I dropped later.

Everyone else was given a character to roleplay, but no abilities.





Award for the winners:

https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/TreehouseBadge.png

[Askthepizzaguy]

CLUES REVEALED


Clues Day One Writeup:

Mafia have double identities; they have a character name that is fake, and one that is real.

Clues Night One Writeup:

Lisa Simpson (Olavi) was not at home that night. Neither was Marge Simpson. (fixiwee)
Homer's Brain: Don't kill the boy. (LittleGrizzly was just a townie)
Lisa Simpson (Olavi) is Sideshow Bob's main enemy, besides Bart Simpson.
Sideshow Bob murders are done in Olive color.

Marge murders are done in Dark Red color.


Suuure man, I got some quality stuff. I got the red ones, the green ones, the dark red ones, and the blue ones. There's also this olive colored one which is really funky, and there's a purple one that you should only take on special occasions, and a Magenta colored one which is like, all of them combined. It's crazy mann.... Oh, and of course, I also got some of the wacky tobacco. This is stuff you can really party with while listening to Led Zeppelin.

Red, Green, Dark Red, Blue, Olive, Purple, Magenta.

Krusty murders are done in Red color.

Nelson murders are done in Blue color.

Johnny Tightlips is not an active murderer, and cannot interfere. (host)
Johnny speaks directly to the "Old Italian Stereotype" (Don Vittorio DiMaggio)

Clues Day Two Writeup:

The hand which put in the final vote was Squeaky Voiced Teen/ GeneralHankerchief.

Clues Night Two Writeup:

Sideshow Bob should take out Lisa and Bart Simpson, as well as all the other Simpsons (Marge, for example)

1/2 = refers to the number of murders it will take to kill Hans Moleman/ Glenn /Don Vittorio DiMaggio, and how many have been completed.

11 eggs = refers to the number of scumbags alive presently.

Hans Moleman survived a murder.

Captain McCallister murders are done in Green.

Clues Day Three Writeup:

Very contentious vote to save boudica. Why so many people defending her?

Clues Night Three Writeup:

Krusty hates the Feds. Rex Banner used to work for the Federal government.

The Black Hand can be murdered by his underlings... resulting in a new Black Hand.

The mafia are not all working together.

Swiss bank account. Swiss.... Swiss... King of Swissland.

Sith|R|Antiwarmancake8.

Clues Day Four Writeup:


Isn't it clear to you now that the people who so often get put on the chopping block get put there by the mafia themselves? That they would defend each other from death? Look and see! You will find your culprits! Or perhaps you will find them hiding themselves from having their votes matter! Imagine if you will how pointless it is to vote for someone who won't get lynched that day... what sort of person would do that? And what about the people who abstain from voting at this late hour! Don't they have any idea who to vote for yet?

Mafia are scattered all over the place, but they can be found in the tally that round in the bolded locations.

(afterwards, I revealed for Olavi that Yoyoma1910 was innocent)

Clues Night Four Writeup:

Strawberry = Ichigo
Bulbous (whipped cream and sprinkles)= reference to "B" for boudica.
Donkey = Democratic Party (Blue)
Elephant = Republican Party (Red)
Sushi = Japanese Mafia... beefy.
Lobster = Sea Captain... red lobster... what else is red... El Diablo?
Grilled Elephant = reference to "G" for greyblades, elephant = republicans = red.
Banana Creme Pies = BCP... YLC. Krusty the Clown.
The Italian = Fat Tony
Almost out of my system = nearly dead tonight.

Fat Tony murders, and is nearly murdered by Nelson.
Nelson murders, and then is murdered by Sideshow Bob.
Krusty murders, but does not follow orders. He has his own agenda.
Krusty is answering to someone who answers to the Black Hand.
Krusty mentions the Feds again.

Twice the Feds are mentioned.... the only person left alive who works for the Feds who has a role you were aware of was Rex Banner. (Warman/Beaver)

Rex Banner was Sith|R|Antiwarmancake's character. He was replaced by Beaver.

Clues Day Five Writeup:

None, really. The Capital City Democrats went down and Krusty reveals he is from the Shelbyville Republican Party.

Clues Night Five Writeup:

Kentucky Fried Chicken = KFC.... hint regarding YLC. KFC=YLC.

Hints that Cecil is the one making calls between the various mafia families.

Glenn+Beaver = Eleven letters. ("shot eleven times in the face")

FatTony = 7 letters
D'Amico = 7 characters
Anthony = 7 letters
Khazaar = 7 letters

Clues Day Six Writeup:

None really. Reveals Khazaar as Fat Tony via death, reveals Krusty as YLC via retirement, and Don Vittorio as being the boss of the Black Hand.

Clues Night Six Writeup:

Reveals all the remaining scumbags are dead, except for Sideshow Bob and Don Vittorio

Clues Day Seven Writeup:

Reveals that Chaotix was a townie, thus leaving the two villains remaining alive. No further clues really needed... but I tossed a couple more.

Clues Night Seven Writeup:

Rat is sort of a vague reference to moles or beavers... you know, small, 4 legged furry animals.
Tunnelling refers to "Mole" man.
Refers to the few clues I left regarding Beaver... (3) involving references to the Feds, found in Krusty's murders. Sideshow Bob and Krusty used to work together, so Krusty was the one leaving hints about him.
Repeated references to a "most dangerous game"... Which is what I called the final rounds of my Golden Rule game. It was a big fat warning that if everyone got annihilated at the end, the host would win.

And that's about it for writeup clues, I think. They were pretty vague at times, but the food clues were pretty damaging. I was getting worried I had made an unbalanced game there for a while... but most people didn't really get the food clues and I think the town had given up by then. I can't be sure. But Death is Yonder did a good job deciphering some of them, but he messed up and was way off on other clues.

I meant these clues to give the town a fighting chance in spite of losing their only power role, and given the fact that the mafia would be a nearly unstoppable voting bloc if something wasn't done.

Most of the mafia got taken down by other mafia, and Sideshow Bob, but the town did get a few good hits. :medievalcheers:

[Askthepizzaguy]

Don Vittorio DiMaggio- Glenn
(fake role: Hans Moleman)

You are the Capo de Tutti Capi of all the mafia families in Springfield State. Everyone answers to you, and most of them don't even know that you're the boss. You have nothing but sinister things on your mind; you want to control all of politics, all of business, everything down to a child's lemonade stand. You're the Mastermind behind everything that goes on in Springfield and beyond.

You're "Just an Old Italian Stereotype" but you're much more than that. You have a mission: Survive the game, whatever the cost. Even if it means... destroying your subordinates... BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!! You can murder once during the game, yourself. You've got a gun, and a silver bullet. Anyone you choose to die, will die, end of story, no matter what their "abilities" are. You may want to save this bullet for a... special occasion. Such as a game-winning occasion. DO NOT waste your one bullet.

You also can survive one lynch and one murder attempt on your life. That makes you fairly brutal, but still mortal. SURVIVE. Do what you have to do. You can communicate with your right-hand man, your Consigliere, through me, the Host. Do not reveal to him, because he can kill you and may wish to do so at some point to win the game for himself. Remain anonymous and alive. You're the boss, he answers to you, unless he decides to ignore you... in which case, you've got a gun and you know exactly who he is... :evil:

Your alias is "Hans Moleman", this is who you must roleplay as during the day. You're Hans Moleman, according to everyone. No one can detect your true role, not even the detective. You can claim to have unlimited lives, as was true of the Simpsons Mini Mafia game I hosted. It makes perfect sense and it should get people off of your back to survive the game.

I designed this whole game to be based on you winning. Do not fail me, Don Glenn, for you may be the master of the Mafia in Springfield State, but I am the leader of the Sicilian Mafia, and you're nothing compared to me. Fortunately, business in Sicily is booming, as well as New York, so I leave the business of Springfield in your capable hands. I'm officially neutral, the host, and I cannot be killed, period, so don't bother. That's in the rules, so don't waste your time.

You can never reveal this role PM to anyone, or you will be WOG'ed instantly. Don't find a way around this rule either, in any way shape or form. That is a game-breaking maneuver and I don't tolerate that stuff in my games, that results in a lifetime ban from my games. (Same for everyone, so don't worry I am not picking on you. It's not personal, it's just business....)

Enjoy this game, Don Vittorio "Glenn" DiMaggio, and if you do end up killing everyone in Springfield and taking all their valuables, be sure to send me a portion of the winnings. This isn't a charity, it's a business. I expect to be paid for allowing you to run the Springfield operation. Make me proud, Don Glenn, or you sleep with the fishes. Capisce?

Ciao.


Victory condition: Be the last one left standing. You are loyal to no one... and your position of power might just enable you to order the destruction of your rivals and subordinates and the town of Springfield itself, too. You're like a serial killer and a Godfather of Godfathers rolled into one, but you may only murder once. Use me, the host, to communicate with The Black Hand, your Consigliere, and pass orders and requests down to your underlings.

Be ruthless, and plan your strategy carefully...


========================================================

The Black Hand- Captain Blackadder
(fake role: Abe Simpson)

You are the Consigliere, or trusted advisor, to the Capo de Tutti Capi of the entire Mafia operation that works Springfield State. You are known to many as The Black Hand, the Hand of Death that holds Springfield in your tight grip. No one knows that you're just a henchman yourself, so you must act as though YOU are the Boss of Bosses, the Capo de Tutti Capi.

Wield the power you've been granted by your boss like an iron-fisted tyrant. You possess a rank greater than that of the pathetic "families" below you. Every Godfather answers to you, and if they don't, you may have the ability to order a hit on their Godfather from another family, or expose them to the citizens of Springfield and have them lynch the fool. They dance the way you want them to dance.

However, if you want their loyalty and cooperation, you may not want to threaten them right away. Don't spoil the game for them; let them believe that they are in control of their destinies. You may also be given the ability to Murder at some point in the game; but you don't have that ability right now.

You can survive one Murder attempt on your life, but not a lynch. Do not expose yourself, or the citizens of Springfield can destroy you. Remain hidden and anonymous, and communicate to your loyal "Godfather" underlings through ME. Exposing yourself is not an option, as it will result in an instant Wrath of God, and you automatically lose. Never reveal to anyone who you are.

You are disguised as Abraham J. Simpson, the granddaddy of the Simpson family. They don't love you enough to include you in their daily lives, so you have no qualms about murdering them. Do what must be done... you're the BLACK HAND!!!

Victory Condition: One of the Mafia families must win the game, you don't care who; but the game does not end until all the mafia are eliminated, or one mafia family is left standing. You share the victory with them, but you must remain anonymous and never reveal to anyone who you are. Send orders from up high, in secret, through me, and try to survive the game. However, there is one important detail... If you die, you lose. Unlike a henchman, you don't share the victory if you end up dead.

First rule of being the Black Hand: Don't End Up Dead.


=================================================

Governor Mary Bailey- Boudica
(fake role: Edna Krabappel)

You are the leader of the Capital City Democratic Party. That makes you the "Godfather" of your particular organization. You fight for social justice, and you are willing to take extreme measures in order to achieve your goals. You're a sly, ruthless politician with an aura of innocence about you, always fighting for the poor, and for the "working man".

Well you're a "working" woman, and you work for the freaking Mafia. You're in it for the "labor unions" which are all bought and paid for. In order to achieve social justice, you must utterly destroy all the other crime families and become the Capo de Tutti Capi.

For now, that means working for the Black Hand; he is the current Capo. He will send you orders from time to time through me. Consider me your "anonymous contact". And no, I am not actually in this game as a player, so don't bother killing me. I am not the Capo/Black Hand, I'm just a loyal informant, Johnny Tightlips. If you want to communicate with the Black Hand, I can send him a message for you. Be courteous and respectful, because the Black Hand chose you specifically for this task, and he knows who you are and can end your life with one bullet if you step out of line.

Your task is to destroy the town of Springfield; they're just a bunch of lawless degenerates anyway. Your next task is to destroy the rival mafia families. Finally, you want to take a shot at becoming the next Capo de Tutti Capi... so KEEP THIS TO YOURSELF.... You may be able to deduce who the Black Hand is... and if you kill him, you can take his place. But you must do the deed personally, which means you'll have to murder him. That means you've got to have no henchmen underneath you, so you have the ability to murder. That means eventually... your "assistant" henchperson will have to "sleep with the fishes".

But don't tell your henchman you've got to destroy him; that's against the rules.

It's not personal, it's just business. Please select your henchman now, give me 5 names. They are allowed to refuse to work for you, but they won't know who you are unless they get hired by you.

You have no ability to kill, and if your henchman dies, you may select one more henchman. After that, you can murder all you like. You're immune to investigation, and you can be lynched or murdered. You have no special defenses. Your win condition implies that you've got to kill basically everyone else in the game, possibly even your subordinates. But keep them around for a while... they come in handy, you know.

You can reveal who you are to your henchman alone, and the Black Hand knows who you are. That's all. You need a fake identity, so here it is: You are Edna Krabappel.

Victory Conditions:

1. Destroy the townspeople of Springfield
2. Destroy all rival Mafia families
3. Become the Capo de Tutti Capi.

==========================================================

Akira- Beefy187
(fake role: Moe the Bartender)

You are the head of the Yakuza, the Japanese Mafia. You run the "business" in Springfield town, and you control either directly or indirectly all the Restaurants in town as well as the shops and bars. Akira is an "employee" of the Happy Sumo Sushi restaurant, which is known for serving poison blowfish to unsuspecting customers. Bwahahaha!!!!

You're the Godfather of the Yakuza, and you don't tolerate business rivals. You destroy them. There are other mafia families in Springfield, and your task is to utterly annihilate them, as well as the rest of the unconcerned citizens in Springfield itself. You answer to your master, the Black Hand, who chose you to run the business in Springfield. But again, you don't tolerate rivals. Your tasks here are many.

Victory Conditions:

1. Destroy all the townspeople of Springfield itself
2. Destroy the rival families of Springfield
3. Destroy the Black Hand and become the Capo de Tutti Capi.

The Black Hand knows who you are, so attempting to kill him is a risky move. If you fail, he will kill you for certain. Dead mafia win no games. You also have to deduce who he is.

You can communicate with the Black Hand through me. Consider me your "anonymous contact". And no, I am not actually in this game as a player, so don't bother killing me. I am not the Capo/Black Hand, I'm just a loyal informant, Johnny Tightlips. If you want to communicate with the Black Hand, I can send him a message for you. Be courteous and respectful, because the Black Hand chose you specifically for this task, and he knows who you are and can end your life with one bullet if you step out of line.

You have no special defenses to lynch or murder, and if you die, your family dies with you. Capisce? You cannot murder, only your henchman can. If he dies, you can try to recruit one more henchman, and after that, without any henchmen, you can do your bloody work yourself. Your objective is to survive the game and destroy all your rivals, deduce who the Black Hand is and murder him, and become the Capo de Tutti Capi. If you want to become the Capo, you may need to murder him yourself... and that means you may have to send your henchman on a suicide mission, if you get my drift. You're loyal to no one... everyone should end up dead besides you.

But don't tell your henchman you've got to destroy him; that's against the rules.

You have a fake identity for protection: You are Moe the Bartender.

=========================================================

Luigi Risotto- pevergreen
(fake role: Comic Book Guy)

You are Akira's henchman. Do your bloody work for him, and you will be rewarded! You may kill once per night. You can be detected by the detective, and your victory condition is simple: your Godfather must survive and win the game.

That's all. Roleplay as Comic Book Guy, and send me your kill every night. Good luck.

==========================================================

Birch Barlow- TheFlax (now Greyblades)
(fake role: Lionel Hutz, attorney at law)

You are conservative Republican political pundit Birch Barlow, who once helped Sideshow Bob get elected Mayor of Springfield over Democrat "Diamond" Joe Quimby. You're a mean-spirited, liberal-hating Rush Limbaugh clone who hates everything that has to do with progressive secularism. You wrote a book "Only turkeys have Left Wings" which expresses your viewpoint.

You're the Godfather of the Republican-leaning Shelbyville Mafia. Your tasks here in Springfield are many; first of all, every Springfield townie must be destroyed, because they vote Democrat. Next, you've got to destroy your hated mafia rivals... especially those blasted Democrats. Finally, although you answer to the Godfather of Godfathers, the Black Hand, eventually you want to deduce who he is, murder him, and then take his place as the next Capo de Tutti Capi.

Victory Conditions:

1. Destroy all the townspeople of Springfield itself
2. Destroy the rival families of Springfield
3. Destroy the Black Hand and become the Capo de Tutti Capi.

The Black Hand knows who you are, and he has the power to murder you anytime he pleases, so attempting to betray him early on will be very dangerous. It's also likely the murder attempt will fail, and when it does, he will know to eliminate you, and there's nothing you can do to dodge his bullet. You have no special defensive powers, and if you die, the Republican Party dies with you.

You have selected one henchman, and if he dies you may select again, and after that, you can murder whomever you please. This is when you may want to take a shot at killing the Capo de Tutti Capi and claiming your rightful place as the Don of Dons. You are loyal to no one... and if you wish to murder the Black Hand, your henchman will not be able to do it. You may want to send him on a suicide mission so you have control over the murder yourself when the game approaches closing time.

But don't tell your henchman you've got to destroy him; that's against the rules.

Be ruthless... do what must be done, Birch Barlow. Your double identity, for your protection, is Lionel Hutz, attorney at Law. That is who you must claim to be, otherwise you're toast.


================================================

Krusty the Clown- YLC
(fake role: Seymour Skinner)

You are Birch Barlow's henchman. Do your bloody work for him, and you will be rewarded! You may kill once per night. You can be detected by the detective, and your victory condition is simple: your Godfather must survive and win the game.

That's all. Roleplay as Seymour Skinner, and send me your kill every night. Good luck.

==============================================

Fat Tony- Khazaar
(fake role: Kent Brockman)

You are Fat Tony, head of the local chapter of the D'Amico crime family. You run the "business" in Springfield town.

You're the Godfather of the Springfield Mafia, and you don't tolerate business rivals. You destroy them. There are other mafia families in Springfield, and your task is to utterly annihilate them, as well as the rest of the unconcerned citizens in Springfield itself. You answer to your master, the Black Hand, who chose you to run the business in Springfield. But again, you don't tolerate rivals. Your tasks here are many.

Victory Conditions:

1. Destroy all the townspeople of Springfield itself
2. Destroy the rival families of Springfield
3. Destroy the Black Hand and become the Capo de Tutti Capi.

The Black Hand knows who you are, so attempting to kill him is a risky move. If you fail, he will kill you for certain. Dead mafia win no games. You also have to deduce who he is.

You can communicate with the Black Hand through me. Consider me your "anonymous contact". And no, I am not actually in this game as a player, so don't bother killing me. I am not the Capo/Black Hand, I'm just a loyal informant, Johnny Tightlips. If you want to communicate with the Black Hand, I can send him a message for you. Be courteous and respectful, because the Black Hand chose you specifically for this task, and he knows who you are and can end your life with one bullet if you step out of line.

You have no special defenses to lynch or murder, and if you die, your family dies with you. Capisce? You cannot murder, only your henchman can. If he dies, you can try to recruit one more henchman, and after that, without any henchmen, you can do your bloody work yourself. Your objective is to survive the game and destroy all your rivals, deduce who the Black Hand is and murder him, and become the Capo de Tutti Capi. If you want to become the Capo, you may need to murder him yourself... and that means you may have to send your henchman on a suicide mission, if you get my drift. You're loyal to no one... everyone should end up dead besides you.

But don't tell your henchman you've got to destroy him; that's against the rules.

You have a fake identity for protection: You are Kent Brockman.

Please select your henchman now, give me 5 names. They are allowed to refuse to work for you, but they won't know who you are unless they get hired by you.

Sideshow Bob- Antiwarmancake8

DO NOT DELETE this role pm, and read it in its entirety before you start playing.



You are Sideshow Bob, the SUPER-VILLAIN.

You can elect to murder once per night, or SAVE your murder for another night, and do two murders the next night, and so on. You have one murder to use for every day phase you survive in the game. You can use them all at once, or once per night. It's up to you.

You're immune to being murdered!!!


Victory condition: Be the last one standing. Send me your murder every night, or tell me you wish to abstain from murdering that night!


LISA SIMPSON- OLAVI

Congratulations! You've been randomly selected to be the DETECTIVE.

You can investigate one player per night to find out if they are a mafia henchman. However, some mafia members (specifically, the higher-ups...) will get an innocent result.

Are you familiar with Detective roles? You are a pro-town role, and you're the most important player on the entire team of the Townies! Are you ready for this responsibility?

Send me a private message every night phase indicating to me who you want investigated. TELL NO ONE OF YOUR ROLE... you could end up dead. The mafia really, really want to murder you, so blend in....

You understand your role?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Simpson

It may be best not to reveal you're Lisa Simpson, and also, do not roleplay your character unless you feel like it! Be careful....

That's all I can find because I deleted all my role PMs when my box got full. I tried to save some of them but I accidentally cut off half the list.




EDIT- Nevermind I guess I archived them all. :2thumbsup:

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Sasaki Kojiro
Date : 2009-04-10 15:33
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Milhouse Van Houten- Sasaki Kojiro

Basic townie unless you get recruited. Good luck!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milhouse_Van_Houten

In case you want to know more about your character.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : AggonyDuck
Date : 2009-04-10 15:34
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Barney Gumble- AggonyDuck

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barney_Gumble

in case you want to know more about your character.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Fixiwee
Date : 2009-04-10 15:35
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marge Simpson- Fixiwee

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marge_Simpson

in case you want to know more about your character.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : GeneralHankerchief
Date : 2009-04-10 15:37
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Squeaky Voiced Teen- GeneralHankerchief

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_recurring_characters_in_The_Simpsons#Squeaky_Voiced_Teen

in case you want to know more about your character.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : taka
Date : 2009-04-10 15:39
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nick Riviera- Taka

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Nick_Riviera

in case you want to know more about your character.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : El Diablo
Date : 2009-04-10 15:41
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Julius Hibbert- El Diablo

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Hibbert

in case you want to know more about your character.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : KarlXII
Date : 2009-04-10 15:42
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Luann Van Houten- KarlXII

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Van_Houten_family#Luann

in case you want to know more about your character.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Yoyoma1910
Date : 2009-04-10 15:45
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aristotle Amidopolous- Yoyoma1910

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Aristotle_Amadopolis

in case you want to know more about your character.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Northnovas
Date : 2009-04-10 15:46
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kirk Van Houten- NorthNovas

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Van_Houten_family#Kirk

in case you want to know more about your character.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Ituralde
Date : 2009-04-10 15:46
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Professor Frink- Ituralde

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professor_Frink

in case you want to know more about your character.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Gobbledygook
Date : 2009-04-10 15:47
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lenny Leonard- GobbledyGook

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lenny_Leonard

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Olavi
Date : 2009-04-10 15:51
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LISA SIMPSON- OLAVI


Congratulations! You've been randomly selected to be the DETECTIVE.

You can investigate one player per night to find out if they are a mafia henchman. However, some mafia members (specifically, the higher-ups...) will get an innocent result.

Are you familiar with Detective roles? You are a pro-town role, and you're the most important player on the entire team of the Townies! Are you ready for this responsibility?

Send me a private message every night phase indicating to me who you want investigated. TELL NO ONE OF YOUR ROLE... you could end up dead. The mafia really, really want to murder you, so blend in....

You understand your role?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Simpson

It may be best not to reveal you're Lisa Simpson, and also, do not roleplay your character unless you feel like it! Be careful....

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : A Very Super Market
Date : 2009-04-10 15:52
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apu Nahassapeemapetilon- AVSM

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apu_Nahasapeemapetilon

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : shlin28
Date : 2009-04-10 15:53
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carl Carlson- shlin28

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Carlson

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Thermal Mercury
Date : 2009-04-10 15:54
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reverend Lovejoy- Ares

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverend_Lovejoy

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : LittleGrizzly
Date : 2009-04-10 15:55
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bart Simpson- LittleGrizzly

hey papa bear... you're a basic townie this time, unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bart_Simpson

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Diana Abnoba
Date : 2009-04-10 15:56
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ned Flanders- Diana Abnoba

you're a basic townie, sweetie.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ned_Flanders

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Shinseikhaan
Date : 2009-04-10 15:57
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Simpson- Shinseikhaan

Basic townie this time, unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_Simpson


Enjoy roleplaying Homer Simpson, if you like! :bow:

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Reenk Roink
Date : 2009-04-10 15:57
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waylon Smithers- Reenk Roink

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waylon_Smithers

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Psychonaut
Date : 2009-04-10 15:58
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Montgomery Burns- Psychonaut

Basic townie this time, unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montgomery_Burns

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : White_eyes:D
Date : 2009-04-10 15:59
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Groundskeeper Willie- White_eyes

basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groundskeeper_Willie

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Greyblades
Date : 2009-04-10 16:00
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Otto Mann- Greyblades

basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_Mann

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Ichigo
Date : 2009-04-10 16:02
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gil Gunderson- Ichigo

basic townie this time, unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_recurring_characters_in_The_Simpsons#Gil

This guy is one of my favorites. He's always down on his luck, and nervous around customers and in high pressure situations. Can't hold down a job, and a very interesting persona.

I hope you enjoy. :bow:

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Tristan de Castelreng
Date : 2009-04-10 16:03
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cletus Spuckler- Tristan

basic townie this time, my friend, unless you get recruited as a mafioso.

This guy is your classic redneck stereotype. You can choose to roleplay as him or not. :bow:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cletus_Spuckler

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Chaotix27
Date : 2009-04-10 16:04
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Troy McClure- Chaotix27

basic townie this time, unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_McClure

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : navarro951
Date : 2009-04-10 16:05
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rainier Wolfcastle- navarro

Basic townie this time, unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainier_Wolfcastle

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Death is yonder
Date : 2009-04-10 16:06
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Diamond Joe Quimby- Death is Yonder

Basic townie unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mayor_Quimby

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : spL1tp3r50naL1ty
Date : 2009-04-10 16:08
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maggie Simpson- Simply P

basic townie this time, unless you get recruited.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maggie_Simpson

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Quintus.JC
Date : 2009-04-10 16:10
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Herman- Quintus.JC

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_recurring_characters_in_The_Simpsons#Herman

Basic townie this time. This is the one-armed man who owns Herman's store, which is an antique/firearms dealer.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Lord Winter
Date : 2009-04-10 16:11
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Clancy Wiggum- Lord Winter

Basic townie this time, even if you are the chief of Police. No role unless you get recruited as mafia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chief_Wiggum

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Jolt
Date : 2009-04-10 16:12
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Meyers Jr - Jolt

Basic townie unless you get recruited as mafia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_recurring_characters_in_The_Simpsons#Roger_Meyers_Jr.

You're the owner of Itchy and Scratchy enterprises!

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Glenn
Date : 2009-04-10 16:14
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Vittorio DiMaggio- Glenn
(fake role: Hans Moleman)

DO NOT DELETE THIS ROLE PM, and read it very, very carefully.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Moleman

You are the Capo de Tutti Capi of all the mafia families in Springfield State. Everyone answers to you, and most of them don't even know that you're the boss. You have nothing but sinister things on your mind; you want to control all of politics, all of business, everything down to a child's lemonade stand. You're the Mastermind behind everything that goes on in Springfield and beyond.

You're "Just an Old Italian Stereotype" but you're much more than that. You have a mission: Survive the game, whatever the cost. Even if it means... destroying your subordinates... BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!! You can murder once during the game, yourself. You've got a gun, and a silver bullet. Anyone you choose to die, will die, end of story, no matter what their "abilities" are. You may want to save this bullet for a... special occasion. Such as a game-winning occasion. DO NOT waste your one bullet.

You also can survive one lynch and one murder attempt on your life. That makes you fairly brutal, but still mortal. SURVIVE. Do what you have to do. You can communicate with your right-hand man, your Consigliere, through me, the Host. Do not reveal to him, because he can kill you and may wish to do so at some point to win the game for himself. Remain anonymous and alive. You're the boss, he answers to you, unless he decides to ignore you... in which case, you've got a gun and you know exactly who he is... :evil:

Your alias is "Hans Moleman", this is who you must roleplay as during the day. You're Hans Moleman, according to everyone. No one can detect your true role, not even the detective. You can claim to have unlimited lives, as was true of the Simpsons Mini Mafia game I hosted. It makes perfect sense and it should get people off of your back to survive the game.

I designed this whole game to be based on you winning. Do not fail me, Don Glenn, for you may be the master of the Mafia in Springfield State, but I am the leader of the Sicilian Mafia, and you're nothing compared to me. Fortunately, business in Sicily is booming, as well as New York, so I leave the business of Springfield in your capable hands. I'm officially neutral, the host, and I cannot be killed, period, so don't bother. That's in the rules, so don't waste your time.

You can never reveal this role PM to anyone, or you will be WOG'ed instantly. Don't find a way around this rule either, in any way shape or form. That is a game-breaking maneuver and I don't tolerate that stuff in my games, that results in a lifetime ban from my games. (Same for everyone, so don't worry I am not picking on you. It's not personal, it's just business....)

Enjoy this game, Don Vittorio "Glenn" DiMaggio, and if you do end up killing everyone in Springfield and taking all their valuables, be sure to send me a portion of the winnings. This isn't a charity, it's a business. I expect to be paid for allowing you to run the Springfield operation. Make me proud, Don Glenn, or you sleep with the fishes. Capisce?

Ciao.


Victory condition: Be the last one left standing. You are loyal to no one... and your position of power might just enable you to order the destruction of your rivals and subordinates and the town of Springfield itself, too. You're like a serial killer and a Godfather of Godfathers rolled into one, but you may only murder once. Use me, the host, to communicate with The Black Hand, your Consigliere, and pass orders and requests down to your underlings.

Be ruthless, and plan your strategy carefully...

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Captain Blackadder
Date : 2009-04-10 16:15
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Black Hand- Captain Blackadder
(fake role: Abe Simpson)

DO NOT DELETE THIS ROLE PM, and read it in it's entirety.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Simpson

You are the Consigliere, or trusted advisor, to the Capo de Tutti Capi of the entire Mafia operation that works Springfield State. You are known to many as The Black Hand, the Hand of Death that holds Springfield in your tight grip. No one knows that you're just a henchman yourself, so you must act as though YOU are the Boss of Bosses, the Capo de Tutti Capi.

Wield the power you've been granted by your boss like an iron-fisted tyrant. You possess a rank greater than that of the pathetic "families" below you. Every Godfather answers to you, and if they don't, you may have the ability to order a hit on their Godfather from another family, or expose them to the citizens of Springfield and have them lynch the fool. They dance the way you want them to dance.

However, if you want their loyalty and cooperation, you may not want to threaten them right away. Don't spoil the game for them; let them believe that they are in control of their destinies. You may also be given the ability to Murder at some point in the game; but you don't have that ability right now.

You can survive one Murder attempt on your life, but not a lynch. Do not expose yourself, or the citizens of Springfield can destroy you. Remain hidden and anonymous, and communicate to your loyal "Godfather" underlings through ME. Exposing yourself is not an option, as it will result in an instant Wrath of God, and you automatically lose. Never reveal to anyone who you are.

You are disguised as Abraham J. Simpson, the granddaddy of the Simpson family. They don't love you enough to include you in their daily lives, so you have no qualms about murdering them. Do what must be done... you're the BLACK HAND!!!

Victory Condition: One of the Mafia families must win the game, you don't care who; but the game does not end until all the mafia are eliminated, or one mafia family is left standing. You share the victory with them, but you must remain anonymous and never reveal to anyone who you are. Send orders from up high, in secret, through me, and try to survive the game. However, there is one important detail... If you die, you lose. Unlike a henchman, you don't share the victory if you end up dead.

First rule of being the Black Hand: Don't End Up Dead.

====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : boudica
Date : 2009-04-10 16:17
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Governor Mary Bailey- Boudica
(fake role: Edna Krabappel)

DO NOT DELETE THIS ROLE PM, and read it in its entirety.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edna_Krabappel


You are the leader of the Capital City Democratic Party. That makes you the "Godfather" of your particular organization. You fight for social justice, and you are willing to take extreme measures in order to achieve your goals. You're a sly, ruthless politician with an aura of innocence about you, always fighting for the poor, and for the "working man".

Well you're a "working" woman, and you work for the freaking Mafia. You're in it for the "labor unions" which are all bought and paid for. In order to achieve social justice, you must utterly destroy all the other crime families and become the Capo de Tutti Capi.

For now, that means working for the Black Hand; he is the current Capo. He will send you orders from time to time through me. Consider me your "anonymous contact". And no, I am not actually in this game as a player, so don't bother killing me. I am not the Capo/Black Hand, I'm just a loyal informant, Johnny Tightlips. If you want to communicate with the Black Hand, I can send him a message for you. Be courteous and respectful, because the Black Hand chose you specifically for this task, and he knows who you are and can end your life with one bullet if you step out of line.

Your task is to destroy the town of Springfield; they're just a bunch of lawless degenerates anyway. Your next task is to destroy the rival mafia families. Finally, you want to take a shot at becoming the next Capo de Tutti Capi... so KEEP THIS TO YOURSELF.... You may be able to deduce who the Black Hand is... and if you kill him, you can take his place. But you must do the deed personally, which means you'll have to murder him. That means you've got to have no henchmen underneath you, so you have the ability to murder. That means eventually... your "assistant" henchperson will have to "sleep with the fishes".

But don't tell your henchman you've got to destroy him; that's against the rules.

It's not personal, it's just business. Please select your henchman now, give me 5 names. They are allowed to refuse to work for you, but they won't know who you are unless they get hired by you.

You have no ability to kill, and if your henchman dies, you may select one more henchman. After that, you can murder all you like. You're immune to investigation, and you can be lynched or murdered. You have no special defenses. Your win condition implies that you've got to kill basically everyone else in the game, possibly even your subordinates. But keep them around for a while... they come in handy, you know.

You can reveal who you are to your henchman alone, and the Black Hand knows who you are. That's all. You need a fake identity, so here it is: You are Edna Krabappel.

Victory Conditions:

1. Destroy the townspeople of Springfield
2. Destroy all rival Mafia families
3. Become the Capo de Tutti Capi.


====================================
From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Beefy187
Date : 2009-04-10 16:18
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Akira- Beefy187
(fake role: Moe the Bartender)

DO NOT DELETE THIS ROLE PM, and read it in its entirety.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moe_Szyslak

You are the head of the Yakuza, the Japanese Mafia. You run the "business" in Springfield town, and you control either directly or indirectly all the Restaurants in town as well as the shops and bars. Akira is an "employee" of the Happy Sumo Sushi restaurant, which is known for serving poison blowfish to unsuspecting customers. Bwahahaha!!!!

You're the Godfather of the Yakuza, and you don't tolerate business rivals. You destroy them. There are other mafia families in Springfield, and your task is to utterly annihilate them, as well as the rest of the unconcerned citizens in Springfield itself. You answer to your master, the Black Hand, who chose you to run the business in Springfield. But again, you don't tolerate rivals. Your tasks here are many.

Victory Conditions:

1. Destroy all the townspeople of Springfield itself
2. Destroy the rival families of Springfield
3. Destroy the Black Hand and become the Capo de Tutti Capi.

The Black Hand knows who you are, so attempting to kill him is a risky move. If you fail, he will kill you for certain. Dead mafia win no games. You also have to deduce who he is.

You can communicate with the Black Hand through me. Consider me your "anonymous contact". And no, I am not actually in this game as a player, so don't bother killing me. I am not the Capo/Black Hand, I'm just a loyal informant, Johnny Tightlips. If you want to communicate with the Black Hand, I can send him a message for you. Be courteous and respectful, because the Black Hand chose you specifically for this task, and he knows who you are and can end your life with one bullet if you step out of line.

You have no special defenses to lynch or murder, and if you die, your family dies with you. Capisce? You cannot murder, only your henchman can. If he dies, you can try to recruit one more henchman, and after that, without any henchmen, you can do your bloody work yourself. Your objective is to survive the game and destroy all your rivals, deduce who the Black Hand is and murder him, and become the Capo de Tutti Capi. If you want to become the Capo, you may need to murder him yourself... and that means you may have to send your henchman on a suicide mission, if you get my drift. You're loyal to no one... everyone should end up dead besides you.

But don't tell your henchman you've got to destroy him; that's against the rules.

You have a fake identity for protection: You are Moe the Bartender.

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From : Askthepizzaguy
To : pevergreen
Date : 2009-04-10 16:18
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
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Luigi Risotto- pevergreen
(fake role: Comic Book Guy)

You are Akira's henchman. Do your bloody work for him, and you will be rewarded! You may kill once per night. You can be detected by the detective, and your victory condition is simple: your Godfather must survive and win the game.

That's all. Roleplay as Comic Book Guy, and send me your kill every night. Good luck.

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From : Askthepizzaguy
To : TheFlax
Date : 2009-04-10 16:20
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
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Birch Barlow- TheFlax
(fake role: Lionel Hutz, attorney at law)

DO NOT DELETE this role pm, and read it in its entirety.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_celebrities_in_The_Simpsons#Birch_Barlow

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lionel_Hutz


You are conservative Republican political pundit Birch Barlow, who once helped Sideshow Bob get elected Mayor of Springfield over Democrat "Diamond" Joe Quimby. You're a mean-spirited, liberal-hating Rush Limbaugh clone who hates everything that has to do with progressive secularism. You wrote a book "Only turkeys have Left Wings" which expresses your viewpoint.

You're the Godfather of the Republican-leaning Shelbyville Mafia. Your tasks here in Springfield are many; first of all, every Springfield townie must be destroyed, because they vote Democrat. Next, you've got to destroy your hated mafia rivals... especially those blasted Democrats. Finally, although you answer to the Godfather of Godfathers, the Black Hand, eventually you want to deduce who he is, murder him, and then take his place as the next Capo de Tutti Capi.

Victory Conditions:

1. Destroy all the townspeople of Springfield itself
2. Destroy the rival families of Springfield
3. Destroy the Black Hand and become the Capo de Tutti Capi.

The Black Hand knows who you are, and he has the power to murder you anytime he pleases, so attempting to betray him early on will be very dangerous. It's also likely the murder attempt will fail, and when it does, he will know to eliminate you, and there's nothing you can do to dodge his bullet. You have no special defensive powers, and if you die, the Republican Party dies with you.

You have selected one henchman, and if he dies you may select again, and after that, you can murder whomever you please. This is when you may want to take a shot at killing the Capo de Tutti Capi and claiming your rightful place as the Don of Dons. You are loyal to no one... and if you wish to murder the Black Hand, your henchman will not be able to do it. You may want to send him on a suicide mission so you have control over the murder yourself when the game approaches closing time.

But don't tell your henchman you've got to destroy him; that's against the rules.

Be ruthless... do what must be done, Birch Barlow. Your double identity, for your protection, is Lionel Hutz, attorney at Law. That is who you must claim to be, otherwise you're toast.

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From : Askthepizzaguy
To : YLC
Date : 2009-04-10 16:21
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
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Krusty the Clown- YLC
(fake role: Seymour Skinner)

You are Birch Barlow's henchman. Do your bloody work for him, and you will be rewarded! You may kill once per night. You can be detected by the detective, and your victory condition is simple: your Godfather must survive and win the game.

That's all. Roleplay as Seymour Skinner, and send me your kill every night. Good luck.

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From : Askthepizzaguy
To : Khazaar
Date : 2009-04-10 16:22
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
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Fat Tony- Khazaar
(fake role: Kent Brockman)

DO NOT DELETE this role pm, and please read it in its entirety before you start playing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_Tony
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kent_Brockman


You are Fat Tony, head of the local chapter of the D'Amico crime family. You run the "business" in Springfield town.

You're the Godfather of the Springfield Mafia, and you don't tolerate business rivals. You destroy them. There are other mafia families in Springfield, and your task is to utterly annihilate them, as well as the rest of the unconcerned citizens in Springfield itself. You answer to your master, the Black Hand, who chose you to run the business in Springfield. But again, you don't tolerate rivals. Your tasks here are many.

Victory Conditions:

1. Destroy all the townspeople of Springfield itself
2. Destroy the rival families of Springfield
3. Destroy the Black Hand and become the Capo de Tutti Capi.

The Black Hand knows who you are, so attempting to kill him is a risky move. If you fail, he will kill you for certain. Dead mafia win no games. You also have to deduce who he is.

You can communicate with the Black Hand through me. Consider me your "anonymous contact". And no, I am not actually in this game as a player, so don't bother killing me. I am not the Capo/Black Hand, I'm just a loyal informant, Johnny Tightlips. If you want to communicate with the Black Hand, I can send him a message for you. Be courteous and respectful, because the Black Hand chose you specifically for this task, and he knows who you are and can end your life with one bullet if you step out of line.

You have no special defenses to lynch or murder, and if you die, your family dies with you. Capisce? You cannot murder, only your henchman can. If he dies, you can try to recruit one more henchman, and after that, without any henchmen, you can do your bloody work yourself. Your objective is to survive the game and destroy all your rivals, deduce who the Black Hand is and murder him, and become the Capo de Tutti Capi. If you want to become the Capo, you may need to murder him yourself... and that means you may have to send your henchman on a suicide mission, if you get my drift. You're loyal to no one... everyone should end up dead besides you.

But don't tell your henchman you've got to destroy him; that's against the rules.

You have a fake identity for protection: You are Kent Brockman.

Please select your henchman now, give me 5 names. They are allowed to refuse to work for you, but they won't know who you are unless they get hired by you.

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From : Askthepizzaguy
To : |Sith|R|AntiWarmanCake88
Date : 2009-04-10 16:26
Title : TREEHOUSE OF HORROR- ROLE PM
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Sideshow Bob- Antiwarmancake8

DO NOT DELETE this role pm, and read it in its entirety before you start playing.



You are Sideshow Bob, the SUPER-VILLAIN.

You can elect to murder once per night, or SAVE your murder for another night, and do two murders the next night, and so on. You have one murder to use for every day phase you survive in the game. You can use them all at once, or once per night. It's up to you.

You're immune to being murdered!!!


Victory condition: Be the last one standing. Send me your murder every night, or tell me you wish to abstain from murdering that night!