View Full Version : If you would be the President of the USA...
PowerWizard
06-01-2009, 15:53
...for one month, what would you do?
Childish question? Yes, but I'd like to know your answers anyway. I know this thread will become a legend one day, rumored but never revealed in history magazines and Discovery Channel documentaries.
Create a clone army and encourage the Trade Federation to blockade Naboo.
Banquo's Ghost
06-01-2009, 16:05
Appoint my horse Speaker.
Have sex with hot actresses on the desk in the Oval Office (with the tape machines running). Moon Nancy Pelosi from the hatch of Marine One. Change the Presidential March from Hail to the Chief to Back In Black.
Press the red button :skull:
Create a clone army and encourage the Trade Federation to blockade Naboo.
:laugh4:
Trade Federation being the EU? Naboo being Russia?
Vladimir
06-01-2009, 16:54
Nothing. If it was known you'd only be in power for a month it would be a bumpy ride if you tried to do anything. After the month's up, you enjoy a lifetime of post-Presidential perks. :cool:
Marshal Murat
06-01-2009, 17:03
I would have confirmed as Air Force General a man preoccupied with "bodily fluids", ensuring that he is assigned to a B-52 Air Base, ask that the Brits send over an RAF officer named "Mandrake", and also find an ex-Nazi crippled scientist with wavy hair and dark glasses.
Hooahguy
06-01-2009, 17:22
id make Metallica mandatory listening for everyone.
:thrasher:
Strike For The South
06-01-2009, 17:32
2 words: slush fund
Hooahguy
06-01-2009, 17:34
2 words: slush fund
when i first read your post i thought you said "slushie fund."
but a slushie fund wouldnt be a half bad idea.... :idea2:
Cause false flag operations, causing the nation to go into a state of emergency engineered by myself. Remove civil liberties in the name of fighting terror and enact emergency powers to keep myself in office indefinitely as I spread my American empire across the glode.
I would make illusions that democracy and free-speech was in practise with control over the media and making them discuss and argue non-issues such as homosexual marriage to get them away from the bigger picture of what is going on.
Expenses in Strip Clubs would become tax-deductible.
seireikhaan
06-01-2009, 18:16
Set all the aliens free from Area 51. Release the saucers to the public for commercial use.(economic stimulus~:handball:)
In one month at the helm of the USA, I'd first look for contacts in the Army for a Dictatorship, then stage a coup d'etat in Washington by invading the Senate House. I would then declare a revision of the Constitution, temporarily abolish all parties. Then I would begin proceedures so that Portugal would annex the USA and begin Lusitanisation of the American People. I would change the name of the USA to Terra Nova. Afterwards, with everything running according to plan, the one month time-limit would be over, my plans would be foiled by a Nationalist American counter-coup, be sent to prison, trialed for treason (Even though I wasn't American), and executed.
Rhyfelwyr
06-01-2009, 18:44
Issue executive orders to lock random threads in the .org
PowerWizard
06-01-2009, 19:16
Appoint my horse Speaker.
:laugh4:
That reminds me... I would think Neptune wants to destroy me, therefore declare war on him and charge the coastline ocean with Marines. I would introduce the fine tradition of triumphal marches and demonstrate sea-shells, pebbles and octopi as the spoils of war. Shoot anyone on site who doesn't take part in the ovation.
AlexanderSextus
06-01-2009, 19:55
sign an executive order legalizing marijuana.
try to repeal the 16th amendment, and tax according to the original way defined in the constitution. if that wouldnt work, maybe a flat tax.
sign an executive order legalizing prostitution under very strict controls.
sign an executive order legalizing same-sex marraige under the 14th amendment.
sign executive orders legalizing hard drugs under extremely strict controls.
Withdraw our troops from all 130 countries we have bases in.
Gregoshi
06-01-2009, 20:42
Take a stroll through the Presidential filing cabinents and get the answers to some questions...:study:
I'd take requests for questions from my fellow Orgahs too.
Gregoshi
06-01-2009, 20:43
I'd take requests for questions from my fellow Orgahs too.
Of course, the answers being secret, I couldn't tell YOU. :laugh4:
edyzmedieval
06-01-2009, 20:46
Expenses in Strip Clubs would become tax-deductible.
Zing. :laugh4:
Set all the aliens free from Area 51. Release the saucers to the public for commercial use.(economic stimulus~:handball:)
:laugh4::laugh4:
If I would be president for one month, I only want to know the secrets of the state - Area 51, UFOs, aliens... That's all I ask for.
PowerWizard
06-01-2009, 21:01
sign an executive order legalizing marijuana.
try to repeal the 16th amendment, and tax according to the original way defined in the constitution. if that wouldnt work, maybe a flat tax.
sign an executive order legalizing prostitution under very strict controls.
sign an executive order legalizing same-sex marraige under the 14th amendment.
sign executive orders legalizing hard drugs under extremely strict controls.
Withdraw our troops from all 130 countries we have bases in.
I'd vote for you, seriously.
I think my post was unfortunately lost on people.
Don Corleone
06-01-2009, 21:08
30 Days in a Month... 30 teams in baseball.... 30 different stadiums from which to throw out the first pitch....
Coincidence? I think not. And oh yeah, I'd make certain the Red Sox were in Yankee Stadium when I went there, and lead the crowd in a chorus of "Yankees SUCK!". Everyone that threw a bottle or beer can at me would be ushered off to Gitmo by the Secret Service faster than you can say "A-rod wears pink panties". Ka-ching!
And oh yeah, I'd make certain the Red Sox were in Yankee Stadium when I went there, and lead the crowd in a chorus of "Yankees SUCK!". Everyone that threw a bottle or beer can at me would be ushered off to Gitmo by the Secret Service faster than you can say "A-rod wears pink panties". Ka-ching!
In the old stadium, the Secret Service might have trouble keeping up, but at the new place, there would only be about 20 people in the stands. ~;)
I might pardon Charles Manson, just for the outrage.
Dutch_guy
06-01-2009, 22:19
I'd appoint myself for life, and then give a 200 hour speech to the entire nation. And make not listening a criminal offence.
:balloon2:
Hooahguy
06-01-2009, 22:22
I'd appoint myself for life, and then give a 200 hour speech to the entire nation. And make not listening a criminal offence.
:balloon2:
what would you talk about?
seireikhaan
06-01-2009, 22:26
He could do a compilation of the world's longest filibusters. :yes:
Gregoshi
06-01-2009, 22:30
I think my post was unfortunately lost on people.
Ironic, isn't it? :laugh4:
I'd vote for you, seriously.
sounds like Ron Paul
Reverend Joe
06-01-2009, 23:07
sign an executive order legalizing marijuana.
try to repeal the 16th amendment, and tax according to the original way defined in the constitution. if that wouldnt work, maybe a flat tax.
sign an executive order legalizing prostitution under very strict controls.
sign an executive order legalizing same-sex marraige under the 14th amendment.
sign executive orders legalizing hard drugs under extremely strict controls.
Withdraw our troops from all 130 countries we have bases in.
Damn... you took all my ideas. Except a complete removal of all restrictions on firearms or military hardware... the Government needs to start fearing its people again.
Create a clone army and encourage the Trade Federation to blockade Naboo.
:confused: What do you have against Naboo? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_recurring_characters_from_The_Mighty_Boosh#Naboo_the_Enigma)
I think my post was unfortunately lost on people.
Well it seems like a bit of a waste really, why keep doing the same stuff when you could do whatever you want?
LittleGrizzly
06-02-2009, 03:03
It made me giggle Beskar
Am I president in the same way Obama is president... as in i need other people to sign off on my ideas as well... even popular and with a majority like Obama he couldn't pass any legislation he wanted...
But assuming I am an all powerful president...
Legalise weed, decriminalise the other harder drugs, probably start up programs to give heroin addicts thier heroin, needle exchanges and the like as well...
Ban contributions to political partys, or maybe limit them to only contribution from individuals and nothing above $100 or $10... make it $10
Setup socailised health care
Reduction in armed forces, with my new foriegn policy direction there will be less enemies to hit... so less needed to hit them...
No more private companys involved in military or involved with the justice system
A new amendment, or an altering of the original one to make it more fool proof, so torture or anything (enhanced interogation) like it is banned.
Withdrawal of the patriot act
Limit abortion to about 20 weeks
Remove income tax completely from lowest earners...
Umm... and much much more... can't think of it all of the top of my head...
CountArach
06-02-2009, 09:18
I think my post was unfortunately lost on people.
Nope, I lol'ed.
Well in addition to what LG said (Which all seems pretty common sense to me, though a bit moderate in a few parts)...
I'd pretty much begin nationalising key industries and businesses - starting with the oil companies and banks. I would ramp-up taxation on the upper class and increase the middle class a bit as well. Corporate taxes would also be increased.
Then I would set up a completely free government-run healthcare system (With the eventual goal of phasing out private healthcare entirely... though obviously not in the first month) using the funds from the above. Social security would get the money it deserves, with increases in unemployment benefits, the aged pension and other such programs.
I would set strong global emissions targets, in the area of 25-40%, with the government building only green sources of energy, with the goal of phasing out fossil-fuel based programs. The nationalisation of oil companies can help here because the use of oil can be scaled back much more easily if the government is in charge, rather than private interests.
Socially, I would legalise marijuana and tax it. Eventually I would look to decriminalise other drugs, but certainly not within a month (But then again most of what I have put down here is long-term). Abortions would be made legal at all times, as would gay marriage.
Can't be bothered to type out more, but yeah - radical change.
Kadagar_AV
06-02-2009, 09:52
Send all the US war criminals to Haag.
CountArach
06-02-2009, 09:59
Send all the US war criminals to Haag.
Ah! I didn't even think of that!
Incongruous
06-02-2009, 10:24
Outlaw Bill Gates.
Nope, I lol'ed.
Well in addition to what LG said (Which all seems pretty common sense to me, though a bit moderate in a few parts)...
I'd pretty much begin nationalising key industries and businesses - starting with the oil companies and banks. I would ramp-up taxation on the upper class and increase the middle class a bit as well. Corporate taxes would also be increased.
Then I would set up a completely free government-run healthcare system (With the eventual goal of phasing out private healthcare entirely... though obviously not in the first month) using the funds from the above. Social security would get the money it deserves, with increases in unemployment benefits, the aged pension and other such programs.
I would set strong global emissions targets, in the area of 25-40%, with the government building only green sources of energy, with the goal of phasing out fossil-fuel based programs. The nationalisation of oil companies can help here because the use of oil can be scaled back much more easily if the government is in charge, rather than private interests.
Socially, I would legalise marijuana and tax it. Eventually I would look to decriminalise other drugs, but certainly not within a month (But then again most of what I have put down here is long-term). Abortions would be made legal at all times, as would gay marriage.
Can't be bothered to type out more, but yeah - radical change.
Are you going to finance all that rebuilding, healthcare, pensions etc. with the tax on marihuana or are you going to halt economic growth by spending all the nationalised company profits on these things? :inquisitive:
Personally, I have no idea, first I would have to get an overview, a first lady and a few other things.
I would do whatever the highest bidder would want me to do ~:pimp:
CountArach
06-02-2009, 11:37
Are you going to finance all that rebuilding, healthcare, pensions etc. with the tax on marihuana or are you going to halt economic growth by spending all the nationalised company profits on these things? :inquisitive:
Marijuana taxation would bring in some money, but I have no illusion that it would be a lot of money. That said, the tourism income that it spurs would be nice - but again, not a lot. Most of the money would be raised from nationalising companies, as Chavez has done, but at the same time I would be raising income taxes - essentially taxes would be raised to whatever levels are needed to cover government spending rather than government spending matching taxation levels (Which IMO is one of the problems with Capitalism in general - government doesn't work because it is chronically underfunded).
Solar panels on every house.
There. That's the energy problem all but licked. Someone give me an award. :grin:
PowerWizard
06-02-2009, 19:59
Send all the US war criminals to Haag.
Including former presidents as well. :2thumbsup:
Aemilius Paulus
06-02-2009, 22:19
I would surrender US to my motherland, Russia :grin::devilish::evil::evil2::evil3:
OR, more realistically, sell Alaska back for even cheaper price using the burst real estate bubble as the excuse. And of course, irony is a major idea here.
AlexanderSextus
06-03-2009, 08:13
ummm ron paul doesn't support same sex marraige last time i checked...
an yeah, i'd also get rid of the patriot act.
CountArach
06-03-2009, 08:26
ummm ron paul doesn't support same sex marraige last time i checked...
I thought that as well, but wikipedia links to this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJz81lAwY0M) where he supports the rights of gays to marry provided they don't force it on anyone else. Of course, he is more of a State's rights activist than anything, so I suppose at a legislative level he would support the decision being made by the State.
Kralizec
06-09-2009, 21:43
I'd try to get my salary raised. Maybe get a mortgage on the white house.
Megas Methuselah
06-09-2009, 21:54
I'd give the Natives their country back. :rolleyes3:
Aemilius Paulus
06-09-2009, 22:36
I'd give the Natives their country back. :rolleyes3:
...
And they would lose it in two days due to debt, drunkenness and contracts that due to their serpentine complexity swindled the simple Ameri-Indians??
While you are at it, make some more laws to prevent that;)
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