Yes, its Zombies for teh win

[English assassin]

Bit quiet on the squid front (never a good sign), butr the good news is science has started taking zombie atacks seriously. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8206280.stm

The bad news is zombies pwn humans. And let's have no namby pamby euro weenie liberal approaches to the zombie plague. Science shows there is only one slim chance for humanity:


their analysis revealed that a strategy of capturing or curing the zombies would only put off the inevitable.

In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity's only hope is to "hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often".

They added: "It's imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else... we are all in a great deal of trouble."

And HOW COOL is this guy:


The study has been welcomed by one of the world's leading disease specialists, Professor Neil Ferguson, who is one of the UK government's chief advisors on controlling the spread of swine flu.

"The paper considers something that many of us have worried about - particularly in our younger days - of what would be a feasible way of tackling an outbreak of a rapidly spreading zombie infection," said Professor Ferguson, from Imperial College London.

However he thinks that some of the assumptions made in the paper might be unduly alarmist.

"My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it's dead forever. So perhaps they are being a little over-pessimistic when they conclude that zombies might take over a city in three or four days," he said.

I for one am greatly reassured that the UK government already has an advisor who is thinking about zombie control. Interesting that offical UK guidelines go with decapitation: I always thought any sufficiently serious brain trauma was enough. Think I might have to take the lump hammer out of my zombie bag and look for an axe or something.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Zombies too eh? It is becoming ever so clear that only Britain is willing to protect the free world. :shame:


Officially documented reports of cases of attempted alien abduction may not feature strongly in daily Downing Street briefings but the release of the latest batch of the Ministry of Defence's UFO files reveals a hidden British obsession with flying saucers and such close encounters.

The 14 files released today by the National Archives (http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/nationalarchives) include more than 800 sightings reported between 1993 and 1996, and contain more than 4,000 pages of material dating back to 1981.
This is the fourth batch of UFO files to be released since May last year

The files do show, though, that not all the sightings and reports were without foundation. Bright lights seen across Devon and Cornwall, South Wales and Shropshire in the early hours of 31 March 1993 by 70 police and military (http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/military) witnesses were documented in more than 30 sightings reported to the MoD over a six-hour period. The reports said it was very big, shaped like a catamaran and was completely silent. The MoD's UFO desk, known as section (AS)2a, asked the RAF to replay its radar tapes but nothing unusual was detected.

The head of the UFO section told Sir Anthony Bagnall, the assistant chief of the air staff, that given the quality of the witnesses the sightings could not simply be written off: "It seems that an unidentified object of unknown origin was operating in the UK air defence region without being detected on radar; this would appear to be of considerable defence significance."

Explanations can be found for most of them. Even the ufologists agree that in 99% of cases they will be aircraft lights, satellites in orbits or debris re-entering the atmosphere, high altitude kites, helium or weather balloons, searchlights or lasers.
But even the defence specialists admit there will always be some sightings that appear to defy explanation: "We remain open-minded about these," is the official position. Or as the president of Strange Phenomena Investigations put it: "There are still many wonders out there … The search must go on."http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/aug/17/mod-report-ufo-sightings


I must ask: why is only the UK prepared!? Why doesn't our ministry of defense have a UFO section? Nor, indeed, a counter-insurgency unit for the impending zombie pandemic?

Are we unwilling to fight back? Have we been lulled to sleep by fifth colomnists? :wall:

[Mooks]

Im jealous of your goverment. My goverment merely sends me weekly supplies of c4/ammo/food/water to hold off the inevitable zombie invasion.

[miotas]

I must ask: why is only the UK prepared!? Why doesn't our ministry of defense have a UFO section? Nor, indeed, a counter-insurgency unit for the impending zombie pandemic?

Are we unwilling to fight back? Have we been lulled to sleep by fifth colomnists? :wall:

It's because the British government has recently found out that one of their former colonies has degenerated into a bunch of zombies. Of course we assured them that they are too slow and dim-witted to do any serious harm, but they still feel threatened by the Tasmanians :shrug:

[Vladimir]

Why would you speak so poorly about Australia? I love Ozzies! I'm aware of the spelling similarity between ozzie and zombie but there is no need for such comments. :no:

[Louis VI the Fat]

Why would you speak so poorly about Australia? :no:I see you've never had the pleasure of being in the company of a bunch of bogans

Miotas is from Oz himself. He is poking fun at the fine people of Tasmania. Awfully impolite of his, anonymously slagging 'em off on the internet.

One never knows if a Tasmanian is reading this thread. :no:


But then, I wouldn't worry about it, I do not think Tazmania has got electricity yet so there's little chance of that. :book:

[Vladimir]

I see you've never had the pleasure of being in the company of a bunch of bogans

Miotas is from Oz himself. He is poking fun at the fine people of Tasmania. Awfully impolite of his, anonymously slagging 'em off on the internet.

One never knows if a Tasmanian is reading this thread. :no:


But then, I wouldn't worry about it, I do not think Tazmania has got electricity yet so there's little chance of that. :book:

Yes but "Tazmanians" isn't spelled as much like zombie as "ozzie."

(I didn't see the reference to Tazmania because I went for the quick kill. Sorry. :sad: )

[InsaneApache]

Now you see where this research falls down is that they fail to differentiaate between walking zombies and running zombies. I know all about running zombies, being a Bolton Wanderers fan. Indeedy. :yes:

[Louis VI the Fat]

I didn't see the reference to Tazmania because I went for the quick kill. Sorry. :sad: Maybe you were slow because you had your head full of zombie...


/Ozzophone pun. :sweatdrop:

[FactionHeir]

With all those zombies in the US and Russia, you'd be expecting those countries to step up to the task.


Zombie computers that is :grin:

[English assassin]

I've been preaching the imminent threat of Zombie Apocalypse for many years now, and it's a good thing that one of the major powers in the world is taking it seriously.

Shh, don't tell the French, but the major power thing is kind of over for us. :clown:


it can't hurt to have a prepared government.

Yeah, you say that, but what about the free market? If zombies overrun the world, socialised zombie-defence will be to blame.

[Motep]

I for one vote for the defend yourself kind of thing. It will just give me more zombies to kill when darwinism takes it's course...zombie style!

[HoreTore]

It's time for the zombletariat to throw off their shackles and overthrow the ruling classes!

A dictatorship of the zombletariat is the only sensible choice! Never again will we be exploited and enslaved by the bourgeois!

[Motep]

So, just how long has zombie oppression been politically viable?

[Mooks]

So, just how long has zombie oppression been politically viable?

Since the beggining.....

(Creepy music inserted here)

[Motep]

Since the beggining.....

(Creepy music inserted here)

:dizzy2:

News to me...:beam:

[InsaneApache]

Given as collectivism has been exposed as, not so much a busted flush, more like how it left huge clinkers after it'd wiped societies arse, then I'd have to plump for decapitating without a governmet subsidy or quango to account to.

You know it makes sense.

[Xiahou]

I sense a viable political debate forming.

Which is more feasible, and indeed, more ethical? A big government approach to Zombie eradication, or a more libertarian approach of, quite literally, fighting for your own freedom?

We can call this.. Zombie Socialism vs. the Free Zombie-Eradication Market.

I, for one, call for a moderate political viewpoint here. It should be up to the government to make sure systems are in place to organize against the Zombies, but citizens should be allowed to arm and prepare themselves for the ABSOLUTE IMMINENT THREAT that the Zombie Apocalypse really is--similarly, Anti-Zombie Militias should be legal.

One thing the government should get involved in is the distribution of this fantastic book here, which has guided and assisted me in my crusade for years now.

https://i520.photobucket.com/albums/w324/PrivateMajorG/zombie-survival.jpg

I've been reading World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War (http://www.amazon.com/World-War-Oral-History-Zombie/dp/0307346617/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1250634879&sr=8-1), check it out if you haven't already. :2thumbsup:

[Centurion1]

these fine and well validated books should be serious literature in all nations educational facilities. The zombie threat is unfortunately misunderstood by most people.

[Gregoshi]

https://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h12/gbresslr/Org%20Pictures/Thunderbirds_Brains.jpg


Brains from the Thunderbirds

[InsaneApache]

https://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h12/gbresslr/Org%20Pictures/Thunderbirds_Brains.jpg


Brains from the Thunderbirds


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60iNado9StU&feature=PlayList&p=2DF49AD9F32DDBA4&index=0&playnext=1

[Jolt]

Must...resist......nnooo...


PILLS HERE!

:P

(So I don't get accused of spam) - I think that is a stupid study and a waste of time.

[Motep]

(So I don't get accused of spam) - I think that is a stupid study and a waste of time.

As it is not your time being wasted (I hope...), I would merely consider it a warning that people are dumber than they may seem. But yes, it is very stupid, though that is part of what makes it so much fun.

[Cultured Drizzt fan]

I've been reading World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War (http://www.amazon.com/World-War-Oral-History-Zombie/dp/0307346617/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1250634879&sr=8-1), check it out if you haven't already. :2thumbsup:

Man that was a great book! Best portrayal of a Zombie war EVER! :yes: I loved the way it was set up as a series of Interviews. I especially like the fact that the Author actually talked to Goverment officials about what they would do in the event of a zombie war*. :yes: Fabulous book, one of the best I read in a long time. :skull: Feel like reading it again now......

*apparently quite a few of them had given the topic a of thought..... :laugh4::laugh4:

[Louis VI the Fat]

I think that is a stupid study and a waste of time.
I would merely consider it a warning that people are dumber than they may seem. But yes, it is very stupid, though that is part of what makes it so much fun. See? It's just like I predicted. Fifth columnists. Everywhere.

You fellow travellers are an even greater threat than the zombies themselves. :no:

[Motep]

Hmmm...can I just hate most of humanity? :beam: