Wedding advice? (No, it's not mine) [Archive]

GeneralHankerchief

08-20-2009, 04:50

In a couple of weeks, my 23-year old cousin is getting married to a wonderful young lady. This may sound great and all, but there's a big catch: There's going to be a wedding, and I'm invited. Being a good relative, I'm going to show up and support him, but as the summer's passed I've grown gradually more and more nervous about how to handle myself during the social gatherings before and after the actual event.

I've never been to one of these before, save for when I was three or four years old and all I had to do was look cute to be proclaimed the life of the party. To top that off, I've never been much of a "party" guy, be it a formal occasion such as these or even more teen-oriented things such as dancing with a bunch of other people. As a matter of fact, if sports is not a major facet of a party, then there's a good chance I'll be completely lost. I've been good about steering clear of these in the past, but that's not an option this time.

So does anyone have any advice here, other than "just grit your teeth and get it over with"? From all reports, my cousin's fiancee is the only bright spot in her family, and I'm sure my family has better things to do than just hang around and talk to a slob that has over 7,000 posts on a Total War forum.

Any input is appreciated! :yes:

Sasaki Kojiro

08-20-2009, 05:01

Carry some eyedrops so you can fake tears during the ceremony.

But really, is there anyone else you know there? Sucks if there isn't...

Lemur

08-20-2009, 05:58

Any input is appreciated! :yes:
Drink heavily. Also remember that at a wedding lots of people feel romantic, so if you aren't attached and are inclined that way, it's a great place to meet willing young lasses.

And drink heavily.

Samurai Waki

08-20-2009, 06:27

Well, the ceremony is always pretty much boring, but you're really not required to do anything but sit through it, and be quiet.

As for the after party, eat, drink, socialize... people are generally in pretty good spirits at weddings, so the vibe is generally enough for a lot of people to come out of their shell. If not the case, hang out at the bar and get ripped. Either way, somebody is going to probably say something that they will regret having said later, and that will take any of the negative attention off of you.

miotas

08-20-2009, 06:34

Wedding = free grog + karaoke, need I say more?

Tratorix

08-20-2009, 06:40

Get really drunk and tell embarrassing stories about your cousin to anyone who will listen.

naut

08-20-2009, 06:51

Is it an open bar? If so. You know what to do! :barrel:

Also remember that at a wedding lots of people feel romantic, so if you aren't attached and are inclined that way, it's a great place to meet willing young lasses.
Mmmmm. Bridesmaids! :yes:

InsaneApache

08-20-2009, 09:21

Andres

08-20-2009, 09:42

The ceremony is no biggy. Just sit there and enjoy the show.

The party, well, assuming you don't know anybody except your cousin, I'd suggest you take a couple of glasses, just talk to somebody who seems to be nice and let things go as they go. There are plenty of people and most are in a good mood, so it shouldn't be too hard to find some good company. You'll be just fine.

Mithrandir

08-20-2009, 10:12

Ceremony: probably the master of ceremony will seat people, same with dinner. If not, just sit somewhere in the back. Make sure you went to the toilet because these things can take time and be longwinded.

If you've got a significant other, take her with you, make her suffer so you can both complain afterwards. If not, and you don't know anyone there...make a move on the most attractive free girl around. If you don't know anyone**, no one will care about your FAIL.

When dinner is over and the dancing begins, drink enough to be sociable but not so much you'll be emberassed the next day, unless **. If you really can't find a way to enjoy yourself, forget the booze, it will only give you a headache in the morning, just go outside en enjoy the scenery, bring a phone, laptop, a deck of Magic the Gathering cards so you can play with the other misfits outside.

Don't worry too much about what people think. Most of them will be deaddrunk at the end of the evening to remember anything, and unless you make an enourmous screw-up (like patting the bride on the butt when she's walking down the isle or a loud fart during the "I do" part, the only one truly worrying about it will be you.

Some general great advice everyone should enjoy and take to heart:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

Hosakawa Tito

08-20-2009, 11:12

Have a few drinks to get comfortably numb and dance with every pretty girl you can find starting with the bridesmaids.

When I find myself in an awkward social situation I always think of this speech, laugh like a fool and carry on.

Courage. (http://www.americanrhetoric.com/MovieSpeeches/moviespeechthewizardofozcourage.html) *click the audio button*

Centurion1

08-20-2009, 14:49

drink and enjoy yourself. No self-respecting grown man enjoys a wedding too much crying and sitting around talking to people you haven't seen in twenty years. So just remember that almost every other man there is just as awkward feeling as you are.

Thank the bride and groom for inviting you, dance a couple of times, drink, and find a group of men who look as uncomfortable as you. Then talk about sports or something manly. Oh and drink more.

seireikhaan

08-20-2009, 15:10

Man... brings back memories of two years ago. Four cousins, four weddings, four months.... ~:eek:

To top the it off, not only do I not relate to my family out there(NE Iowa, farmfolk), but there was nobody my age(late 17 at the time) that I could tell.

I just took a book with me each time. :sweatdrop:

Sigurd

08-20-2009, 15:35

At the party round up some people and organise a game of Mafia, party style. Make sure you include some of the pretty ladies.
Knowing you - you will ace it and maybe a hotel key or two will find their way to your pocket... :beam:

Centurion1

08-20-2009, 15:49

^

HeHe, exactly play to your strengths with the pretty ladies.

drone

08-20-2009, 15:55

As mentioned before, booze and bridesmaids. :yes: Chances are the bride's party will be hitting the sauce before the ceremony while they prep, so they will be pre-lubricated by the time the reception hits.

Also, have some fun with the disposable cameras they put on the tables. :clown:

KukriKhan

08-20-2009, 16:18

You have to stay, and be seen by the Bride and Groom, until the cake-cutting (assuming there is a cake). Staying after that is optional. If you bow out early, shake hands with the Groom and cheek-kiss the Bride, wish them happiness and good health.

If you stick around post-cake, the fellas above have given excellent advice.

Have fun on this new adventure!

Rhyfelwyr

08-20-2009, 16:52

Sit with a group of similarly socially awkward guys, and if they are of the drinking variety, then you can sit in the corner grumbling with them until one of them is expelled for urinating on a computer (ok this was a school event but still).

Ramses II CP

08-20-2009, 17:02

I don't dance, so I absolutely get where you're coming from about weddings. My policy for family weddings (Friends are a little different) is to take my digital camera and try to get good pictures of everything. This gives me something to do other than just get drunk, the bridge and groom will be appreciative when you share them, and you have a perfect ice breaker with any unattached pretty girls in the form of asking them to pose for a picture. (Leads to 'what a lovely dress' or 'your hair is beautifully done' or even 'didn't they pick a great venue/have nice weather' if you're shy)

It's a bit of a geek thing so you won't be the life of the party, but you won't have to spend a couple of hours sitting on your hands talking to boring people either.

:egypt:

naut

08-20-2009, 17:12

and you have a perfect ice breaker with any unattached pretty girls in the form of asking them to pose for a picture.
:2thumbsup:

aimlesswanderer

08-21-2009, 04:18

The last wedding I went to, one of my cousin's, was a bit of a disappointment, as the bride's side were from north Queensland (the Aussie equivalent of Texas). I did get to talk to some long lost relos, but the other side turned up in cowboy boots and hats, while we were in suits! Not to mention the music was ridiculously loud (as usual), and you had to shout to the person next to you. Don't drink or dance either, so just talked to relos. Not bad, but could have been better. There wasn't anywhere you could wander off to in peace and quiet either, and no pretty girls either.

Hope that there is somewhere you can escape to, and some people to hang out with. Normally everyone is pretty happy, that always helps.

Yun Dog

08-21-2009, 05:51

Weddings can be sooo boring

You'll probably get stuck on the table next to someones grandparents or relatives from out of town.

my advice

take some curious item that will stimulate conversation

and once you get a few drinks under your belt you'll be the life of the party

but dont be like me and go to excess or you'll come a croppa on the dance floor and thats never a good look on the wedding video

"OMG whos the reaallly drunk guy falling over on the dance floor with wine spilt all over his shirt"

Ive marred many a wedding video that way :yes:

Its the boredom you see once you get bored you start drinking to compensate

Basically talk to the people on your table and take an interest in them and use that as a seed for conversation otherwise things can get real dull. Make up some funny story about something that happened to you on the way to the wedding - always a good ice breaker

even if the people are dull as two planks they will liven up if you can manage to carry a conversation with a bit of enthusiasm and a laugh or two - people are as desparate as you for someone to liven things up

Like the frontroom dont bother with politics or serious stuff unless its some over the top rant that will entertain the crowd.

And whatever you do dont start making snarky remarks about the wedding or the wedding party - everyone looks so wonderful oh arnt they perfect for each other or just keep your teeth together.

Basically smile lots, laugh lots and appear to be having a jolly time even if your so bored you wanna drill a hole through your eye into your brain

Lemur

08-21-2009, 05:58

"OMG whos the reaallly drunk guy falling over on the dance floor with wine spilt all over his shirt"
I think a wedding without scandal is unlucky. If somebody's uncle isn't vomiting in the sink, and a bridesmaid isn't running out of the bushes with her dress all rumpled, you aren't really married. That's why I sprang for an open bar for my nuptials, and made sure there were plenty of poorly lit nooks for canoodling.

Maybe you don't want to be the scandalous one personally, but a wedding without incident ... unthinkable.

GeneralHankerchief

08-21-2009, 06:20

I know beggars can't be choosy, but does anyone have any advice that doesn't involve mass consumption of alcohol? :laugh4:

Tratorix

08-21-2009, 06:35

I know beggars can't be choosy, but does anyone have any advice that doesn't involve mass consumption of alcohol? :laugh4:

I have a few, but I'm pretty sure they're all either illegal, a bad idea or both.

Samurai Waki

08-21-2009, 09:10

I know beggars can't be choosy, but does anyone have any advice that doesn't involve mass consumption of alcohol? :laugh4:

I thought that getting drunk on somebody else's bill was the entire point of attending weddings... :inquisitive:

Ibn-Khaldun

08-21-2009, 09:14

Weddings can be sooo boring

You probably haven't been in traditional Estonian wedding then. They are never boring and they last 3 days:smash:

As I understand in America weddings=drinking and that's it?

Mithrandir

08-21-2009, 11:40

If all else fails, hit on the bride. It won't work and you'll never be invited to another wedding again. Score.

Beefy187

08-21-2009, 11:56

Wedding is something one of the few out of ordinary things you get to do without you wanting to do it besides funeral.

So I guess you'll have to force your self to have fun and try something you never done before. Try talking to the types of people you never talked to before. There is a good chance you won't meet them again, so don't be afraid to take risks.

I'm sure you could find make something out of it. :yes:

So far, I've never been to one. None of my cousins are married yet. :smash:

Yun Dog

08-25-2009, 07:17

If all else fails, hit on the bride. It won't work and you'll never be invited to another wedding again. Score.

Yeh Hes right

Disgrace yourself in some way, that way you'll be talked about for the rest of their lives - almost better than being immortal :2thumbsup:

Yun Dog

08-25-2009, 07:26

You probably haven't been in traditional Estonian wedding then. They are never boring and they last 3 days:smash:

As I understand in America weddings=drinking and that's it?

I have rigid limits set on how long I can be happy about someone elses happy moment in their lives

and its 3 hours tops - after that the happiness runs out real quick

3 DAYS!!! shees :inquisitive:

maybe if the bridemaids were keeping everyone 'entertained' :yes:

otherwise they are eating into a significant portion of my life, time that I could otherwise valuably piss away being wasted or playing computer games or both

OverKnight

08-26-2009, 06:34

Perhaps you could suggest to your Cousin that the bride should secure some trade agreements and maps-for-florin deals before settling down.

As for serious advice: It depends, will you know anyone here? How large is the guest list? Is it open or cash bar (or God forbid a dry wedding? In that case bring a flask)?

If you know people, it's a great time to catch up. If not, I feel your pain, but I like Ramses's suggestion about taking photos. Don't be the drunkest person at the Wedding, if you don't drink normally you've already got it covered.

Wear a nice suit. If you don't have a newish one, get one. You're going to need a Wedding, Wakes and Funerals suit anyway. Good for job interviews as well if needed. I'd suggest black as it covers all the bases. If you don't know how to tie a tie, learn how before the ceremony.

And have fun. If you're not in the wedding party, you won't have much to do besides bask in the nuptial glory of the couple, so no pressure. The cake is usually good too.

Zim

08-26-2009, 11:27

Some of them looked like they only involved moderately high consumption of alcohol. :clown:

I was the groom at the only wedding I recall going to...

If none of the suggestions thus far seem appealing, and it isn't too long, you could probably just sit and bear it. Alternatively, find a group of people that also look uncomfortable and complain about how boring it is. :clown: Or, if I were in that situation, I'd probably just take a walk or something while whenever the ceremony itself wasn't going on, or hide a book in my car.

I know beggars can't be choosy, but does anyone have any advice that doesn't involve mass consumption of alcohol? :laugh4:

InsaneApache

08-26-2009, 12:44

At my brother first wedding, we, the lads, all buggered off to the pub opposite for a couple of jills and a game of pool. Much better than watching your mam and dad dancing. :embarassed:

naut

08-26-2009, 16:34

Much better than watching your mam and dad dancing. :embarassed:
Haha. I don't know. Watching them dance with Dad drunk off the wall and Mum embarrassed as can be is pretty entertaining!

A quick word of advice, if you bring a +1, make sure she doesn't out-do the bride. (Oh Lordy is that a situation you don't want to be in :skull:)

lars573

08-26-2009, 16:58

Drink heavily. Also remember that at a wedding lots of people feel romantic, so if you aren't attached and are inclined that way, it's a great place to meet willing young lasses.

And drink heavily.
Unless your poor and socially awkward. IE can't afford liquid courage. Or the only bridesmaids you would go for are attached. Such was the problem at my sisters wedding. :wall: Or your sister invites someone for you to meet, doesn't tell you. And then forgets to make said introductions. :furious3:

I think a wedding without scandal is unlucky. If somebody's uncle isn't vomiting in the sink, and a bridesmaid isn't running out of the bushes with her dress all rumpled, you aren't really married. That's why I sprang for an open bar for my nuptials, and made sure there were plenty of poorly lit nooks for canoodling.

Maybe you don't want to be the scandalous one personally, but a wedding without incident ... unthinkable.
Thankfully I had my maternals aunts and my sister-in-law (put a few in her and somethings happening) for that. Otherwise it might have been me. :sweatdrop:

pevergreen

08-26-2009, 23:43

This thread is putting me off.
(Damn GH and his threads...Paper scissors rock >_>)
I had a really weird dream last night.

I got married. :confused:

Samurai Waki

08-27-2009, 02:35

I had a dream I got married, and then it turned into a nightmare shortly thereafter, I haven't woken since. :clown:

pevergreen

08-27-2009, 02:39

I had a dream I got married, and then it turned into a nightmare shortly thereafter, I haven't woken since. :clown:

:laugh4:

It was really screwed up.

It happened on my front lawn, but the grassy area was hugely expanded. And all these people I hate turned up. Apparently I invited them.

Then the priest (priest? screw that) was indian, and it turned into a huge weird thing, with competitions instead of any formal ceremony. And the girl was standing there waiting, and i walked out?

I'm so confused...

Decker

08-27-2009, 03:10

Well... I'd go with taking a camera. Good idea, or a book, and not to mention all the food!!

Anyways, has anyone ever had a friend ask them to make a speech at their wedding... while still years and years away? He's not even out of college and talked about getting married while he was a senior :no: Not to mention about 1/3rd of my class has been or is engaged and or married already :dizzy2: Thank GOD! I was not invited to those :sweatdrop:

GeneralHankerchief

08-28-2009, 15:13

All right, thanks for all of the advice guys. :bow:

Have to leave for everything in a couple of hours. Wish me luck. :hide:

edyzmedieval

08-28-2009, 15:38

If all else fails, hit on the bride. It won't work and you'll never be invited to another wedding again. Score.

:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

Weddings are fun but the church things are extremely boring. Everything turns out well if you find one-two guys to chat with and a couple of single pretty bridesmaids. :grin:

Strike For The South

08-29-2009, 01:34

Remember There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who like burbon whiskey and those who are represed and not worth a damn.

Edit: And you're already gone.

Adrian II

08-29-2009, 02:09

Edit: And you're already gone.Is he gone as in: really gone off to the wedding? That's a pity.

You shouldn't underdress, get stone drunk and make a fool of yourself. That's what every insecure 17-year-old would do and it isn't necessary at all, let alone smart or funny. Drinking heavily is the easy way out for losers, a way of drawing attention to yourself through loss of control and decorum.

Dress well without overdoing it (a tie is a must) and make it your business to talk only to people you don't know yet. You'll have a great time. And my guess is that you'll meet at least one other person who is 'into' computer gaming or military history, at least one person who is 'into' something so outlandish you've never heard of it before (and want to know more about) and at least one girl more or less your age whom you would love to undress on the spot, drag beneath the dinner table and have your way with - not necessarily in that order. Of course, if you are very lucky these three aspects will be united in one and the same person.

Getting to know new people is very simple. Look for new people and get to know them. Walk up to them, shake their hand and say 'Hello, I'm Such-and-such. What a great day to meet new people. Who are you?'

Sheesh, whatever happened to good manners on festive occasions? :inquisitive:

Strike For The South

08-29-2009, 02:14

Is he gone as in: really gone off to the wedding? That's a pity.

You shouldn't underdress, get stone drunk and make a fool of yourself. That's what every insecure 17-year-old would do and it isn't necessary at all, let alone smart or funny. Drinking heavily is the easy way out for losers, a way of drawing attention to yourself through loss of control and decorum.

Dress well without overdoing it (a tie is a must) and make it your business to talk only to people you don't know yet. You'll have a great time. And my guess is that you'll meet at least one other person who is 'into' computer gaming or military history, at least one person who is 'into' something so outlandish you've never heard of it before (and want to know more about) and at least one girl more or less your age whom you would love to undress on the spot, drag beneath the dinner table and have your way with - not necessarily in that order. Of course, if you are very lucky these three aspects will be united in one and the same person.

Getting to know new people is very simple. Look for new people and get to know them. Walk up to them, shake their hand and say 'Hello, I'm Such-and-such. What a great day to meet new people. Who are you?'

Sheesh, whatever happened to good manners on festive occasions? :inquisitive:

No one said he should lose decorum. I'm just saying an open bar is an open bar. Besides as a fellow uni student Im sure GH is the king of making small talk with people in a place they dont wanna be in just replace wedding with class

GeneralHankerchief

08-30-2009, 22:41

Well, it went okay. It seemed like every single pretty girl there brought boyfriends along (story of my life :wall:) but I got a couple dances in. Another (middle-aged) cousin of mine brought his two very small children, so I spent a lot of time entertaining them as well.

Beautiful venue, but it was very out-of-the-way and I think I got a bit sick somewhere along the line. Ah well, it's done now. Thanks again for the advice, everybody. :yes:

edyzmedieval

08-30-2009, 23:54

What kind of girl takes her boyfriend at a wedding? Does she expect to get married as well? :inquisitive:

Caius

08-31-2009, 00:03

What kind of girl takes her boyfriend at a wedding? Does she expect to get married as well? :inquisitive:
Hun, I like a wedding party like this one! girls might say.

Moros

08-31-2009, 00:05

What kind of girl takes her boyfriend at a wedding? Does she expect to get married as well? :inquisitive:

Better not take her to a too fancy and expensive one just in case...

naut

08-31-2009, 17:03

Glad it went ok for you GH.

What kind of girl takes her boyfriend at a wedding? Does she expect to get married as well? :inquisitive:

Hun, I like a wedding party like this one! girls might say.
Happened to a family friend. We all went to another family friends' wedding, then his girlfriend got ideas and by then he had no chance (:whip:). Married 9 or so months later. :laugh4: