The Night Santa Went Crazy [Concluded]

[Askthepizzaguy]

ThE NigHt sAnTa WeNt cRaZy


https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/satan_claus-1.jpg

A mini-mafia game hosted by Askthepizzaguy, who has also gone crazy.


Description:

A very basic game with no unusual rules, other than no night phases. A throwback to my mini-mafia hosting days.

Rules:

1. No private reveals, no private communication of any kind.
2. No night phase, just lynches.
3. Game ends when mafia outnumber the town, there's one mafia and one town left, or all mafia are dead.
4. Phases will be 24 hours long. Write-ups will happen approximately "when I can" due to Resident Evil.
5. If I think of more I'll add them in here.
6. Have fun!


Potential victims: (8/7)


Death is yonder
Captain Blackadder
Joooray
Subotan
Double A
Johnhughthom
Yaropolk


Replacement: Centurion1














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[Death is yonder]

In!

Nice starting pic :laugh4:

[Captain Blackadder]

In please

[Joooray]

In, please.

But what does no night phase mean? How does the mafia kill then?

[Subotan]

In, if only for the Robot Santa references I'll be able to make.

[Askthepizzaguy]

In, please.

But what does no night phase mean? How does the mafia kill then?

The same way that any mafia does during a standard day phase: Make sure they aren't the ones who get lynched, and that some poor innocent person dies instead. In short, pure cunning.

[Double A]

In!

[johnhughthom]

Yes please.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Just one more and we can start this thing. I am dying to show you the awesome poem I wrote for the first writeup.

[Joooray]

The same way that any mafia does during a standard day phase: Make sure they aren't the ones who get lynched, and that some poor innocent person dies instead. In short, pure cunning.

That sounds pretty hard, but an interesting twist none the less. :juggle2:

And also 200 posts, Wohoo. 180 or so of which were in mafia games. :laugh4: (I know thats what you produce in just one game, Atpg. :sweatdrop: )

[Yaropolk]

im in

[Centurion1]

darn i missed another mini mafia.

well ill go down as a replacement. have fun you guys

[Thermal]

darn i missed another mini mafia.

well ill go down as a replacement. have fun you guys

yes I liked the look of this one, glad I'm not the only one using christmas as an excuse to make a mafia game :wink:

[Askthepizzaguy]

Twas the night before Solstice, when all through the house
Santa could find no respite from his shrew of a spouse.
He watched Ultimate Fighting on the TV that blared
sounds of violence loud enough for the hearing impaired.
His lips glistened with the grease of a charred black boar,
As he popped several Vicodin, while cheering Randy Couture.
"Choke him! Pound him! Turn his face bloody red!
Make Santa proud, put your fist through his head!"
Mrs. Claus stomped in, and she started to growl,
"TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE NOW!!!!" yelled Mrs. Claus with a scowl.
Santa grabbed his beer bottle and tossed it at her face.
"Do it yourself, you old nag, and kindly get off my case!"
When out in the garage there sounded a crash
"Dangit, what now?" spat Nick, his teeth starting to gnash.
Away to the cellar he stormed, looking quite pissed
He swore that he'd beat whoever it was with his fists.
He opened the door and switched on the light
The scene Santa saw just couldn't be right...
The garage door was busted; smashed right in, it seemed,
With red-faced fury, Saint Nicholas screamed:
"Who could have done this, what hoodlum, what vandal?"
But what Santa saw next made him fly off the handle.
Hoof prints in the snow, and a trail of dribble,
Leading directly to an economy-sized sack of holiday kibble.
The dog food had spilled out, and it covered the floor,
A large hole, it seemed, in the bag had been torn.
"Whoever did this foul deed, oh they will certainly pay,
they won't live to see one more Christmas Day."
When what to his wandering eyes should appear,
But a trail leading back to Santa's pen of reindeer!
Off to the pen, stormed the angry Saint Nick.
Which one of those ruminants made Santa so ticked?
In his jolly old hands, Santa wielded a shottie
To punish the Reindeer who had been so naughty.
'Twas a Remington shotgun, model eight-seventy
Into the sky Santa fired, as he roared like a banshee.
The sleeping reindeer awoke with a start
As Santa threatened to blast thier wee skulls apart.
Faster than jackrabbits, they tried to escape Santa's aim
And he cussed, and shouted, and call'd them by name:
"Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen,
"Now Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen;
I know one of you broke the garage door that needs fixin'
And ate up the dog food; in your tummy it's sittin'.
But this is the final straw, you broke Santa's back!
Whichever one of you did this will have to be whacked.
But I wasn't there, I didn't see the whole thing myself.
Just know, whoever did this stole from the WRONG elf.
I have a confession to make, I've never been jolly,
I don't care to deck the halls with boughs of frickin' holly.
I won't be donning any of that festive gay apparel,
And if I hear even one more sappy, annoying Christmas carol
You will all taste bloody death from the barrel
of this shotgun I call Thor, so sing at your peril.
There will be no presents this year, Santa's sleigh is retired
And those sickeningly sweet little elves have been fired
You should know the sole reason I don't turn you to venison
is because I hate the flavor, you furry wastes of skin.
But if you don't figure out which of you ate the kibble,
I'll fix this problem in a manner quick and simple.
You will vote who among you will be sent to their death
Or each and every one of you will draw your final breath.
And I will ruin your holidays worse than any lame grinch,
If ever one of you reindeer should dare vote "No Lynch".
If after the punishment; the murderous deed done,
More kibble should go missing, I promise you this gun
Will splatter more blood, and just so you know
You will continue to vote, 'till the culprit's guts meet the snow."
The reindeer spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
they began to accuse one another of being the greedy jerk
Who stole from Scrumptious, Santa's German Shepherd pooch
Whose doggie kibble had been eaten, while Santa drank hooch.
Santa's speech had finished, so he sniffed his nose
Then he coughed up some phlegm, and up the stairs Santa rose.
He sprawled on his couch, and gave a cheerful whistle,
As Couture's feet met his opponent's face like a missile
But I heard Santa exclaim, as he drank whiskey sours,
"Vote now for who dies! you have Twenty-Four hours!"


https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/Dog.jpg

"Scrumptious"



GAME BEGINS NOW. Day One. Please vote every round. 24 hours unless I don't get all votes in.

[Thermal]

Just....classic :laugh4:

[Subotan]

"Scrumptious"
:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

[Yaropolk]

+1 for using 'Ruminants' in a poem
And Vote: Double A he always eats twice as much as everyone!

[Subotan]

Vote; Captain Blackadder, as he's only had one post so far.

SUSPICIOUS

[Double A]

:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

vote: john

Your name annoys me when I'm trying to pm you something.

[Joooray]

That was awesome. :laugh3:

Also Vote: Double A, you seem to be naughty hiding behind them helmet and all! :no:

[Double A]

Helmet?

I wish I had one, my hair was a total mess today :laugh4:

[Joooray]

Helmet?

I wish I had one, my hair was a total mess today :laugh4:

Because of all the dog food you ate, eh?! :smash:

You know how they say: A moment on your lips, forever in your hair. :drummer:

[Captain Blackadder]

vote Yaropolk

Random chance says so.

[Double A]

Because of all the dog food you ate, eh?! :smash:

You know how they say: A moment on your lips, forever in your hair. :drummer:



No never heard that before.

[johnhughthom]

Your name annoys me when I'm trying to pm you something.

How do you pm people? I usually just click on their name from one of their posts.

Vote: Double A for his odd pming methods.

[Death is yonder]

Vote: Captain Blackadder

Great poem ATPG :laugh4:

[Double A]

How do you pm people? I usually just click on their name from one of their posts.

Vote: Double A for his odd pming methods.

When I sent things to you and Ibn I had to go look up your name! Therefore you are guilty!

[Askthepizzaguy]

Double A: 3 (Yaropolk, Joooray, johnhughthom)
Captain Blackadder: 2 (Subotan, Death is yonder)
Johnhughthom: 1 (Double A)
Yaropolk: 1 (Captain Blackadder)



It looks as though I made have to replace Subotan due to a banning situation. Either Centurion1 or Thermal may have the role.

[Thermal]

Double A: 3 (Yaropolk, Joooray, johnhughthom)
Captain Blackadder: 2 (Subotan, Death is yonder)
Johnhughthom: 1 (Double A)
Yaropolk: 1 (Captain Blackadder)



It looks as though I made have to replace Subotan due to a banning situation. Either Centurion1 or Thermal may have the role.

I would like it, but as centurion was here first he deserves first dibs. :bow:

[Diamondeye]

If you need a new 2nd replacement, I'd be more than willing. Brilliant poem btw.

[Askthepizzaguy]

If you need a new 2nd replacement, I'd be more than willing. Brilliant poem btw.

Consider it done! Now we are prepared for ANYTHING!

Even Apocalypse Scenario #887; Mass extinction due to heart attack during a spontaneous global love-fest.

[Centurion1]

alright i replaced subotan, you can call me subturion.

[Double A]

Hi subtorian.

[Askthepizzaguy]

'Twas the first night afterward, and Santa was still fuming
Even after dozens of shots that he'd been consuming
All through the night he'd heard Mrs. Claus whine
"Why don't you fix the garage, surely now's a good time?"
Well Santa Claus slept on the couch that same night
After he and Mrs. Claus had a rather large fight
There were broken bottles smashed all over the floor
Santa broke Christmas tree ornaments and called her a whore
She broke the television set and loudly replied
"Get in shape, you big whale, you're a continent wide!"
To which Santa said "See my butt? Pucker up and kiss 'er
And by the way, last week I slept with your sister!"
To which Mrs. Claus replied "Oh Santa, that's fine,
After all, last night I had my way with a whole chorus line.
But there's more, 'saint' Nick, you fat bearded creep,
with your favorite NFL team, I just happened to sleep
and when it was all done, they started to prance
and they performed their famous touchdown celebration dance.
You know, the one that they do when they score a goal?
Well you won't be scoring anytime soon, you nasty old troll!"
"Fine by me," Santa said, his face turning red,
"Even the goat knows how to give better affection."
Which doesn't quite rhyme, but you know what I meant.
Several warning points later, their fight was all done.
Both of them went to bed thinking that they had won,
But Santa Claus ponder'd, and he ponder'd some more,
his head filled with images of blood, guts, and gore.
He decided that the first reindeer that would die
wouldn't go easy, like with a bullet through the eye,
Oh no, Santa thought, something much more demonic
per'aps the execution should be a bit more ironic
What could serve a more fitting reminder
not to steal the dog food... perhaps a meat grinder
Yes, that would be the way; they would go in alive
And he'd grind and he'd grind, while they tried to survive
They'd go in hoof first, and it would take a while
He'd grind them with glee, a "ho ho" and a smile.
They'd scream as he'd grind, until they became meat
For Santa's dog Scrumptious: a sausage link treat!
And all the other reindeer would watch this in terror
Surely they would realize their rather grave error
And confess to breaking down Santa's garage door
Before they faced Santa's wrath like never before.
When he woke in the morning, he counted the votes,
Then he grabbed fat little Prancer while he was eating some oats
"Still hungry?" snorted Santa, and he held him by the ears,
and dragged him to the grinder, in front of his peers
Into the top of the grinding machine Prancer went.
There would be enough meat from his carcass 'till Lent!
The reindeer reacted naturally, with shock and surprise,
and white-knuckled terror as they witnessed Prancer's demise.
Over the sounds of the screams of bloodcurdling pain
Santa was laughing, he'd gone clearly insane.
When after this sadistic execution was complete
Santa whistled for Scrumptious "Here boy, come and eat!"
To add one more twist to Prancer's violent end,
All the other reindeer watched as the dog ate their friend.
As they began to vomit from this sickening sight,
Santa said "Merry Christmas, you vermin, I hope you sleep tight!"
The next day however, a few hours after dawn
Jolly Saint Nick saw that more kibble was gone
And again there were tracks leading back to the pen
So the reindeer would be forced to vote once again.




https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/meatgrinder.jpg


Alive: 6

Death is yonder
Captain Blackadder
Joooray
Centurion1 (Sub for 'otan)
Johnhughthom
Yaropolk

Dead: 1

Double A- Prancer



Okay folks, you have 24 hours to post and vote.

[Centurion1]

vote: doubleA

im pulling a pever here. you misspelled my aliases.

its subturion not subtorian.

why does this make me angry? i have no idea it just does.

no you will be punished :whip:

:clown:

[Double A]

Even though he's not playing it, I was waiting till I was dead to say this:

Pevergreen

Also, this is the first time I've ever been random lynched. I don't know if I should be honored or disgusted...

[Askthepizzaguy]

I took it as an honor the first couple times. However it does get old, so I personally don't do "traditional" votes where I badger the same player over and over on round one. As long as it doesn't become a habit, dying every once in a while in the first round is fine.

[Centurion1]

oh wait youve already been lynched...... curses

unvote; vote: abstain

im an imbecile


but just so you know i would have voted you if you weren't. :inquisitive:


oh and welcome to my world i get lynched early all the time. i basically cried in thermals game to escape it

[Double A]

Two can play at this game...

vote: Centurion

[Askthepizzaguy]

Actually there are six players remaining. Six.

[Double A]

:laugh4:

You heard the man. Everyone vote for Cent.

[Centurion1]

by the way doublea is dead and a heathen so ignore him.

[Death is yonder]

Vote: Yaropolk

:yes:

[Centurion1]

vote: diy

why sir can i have a reason?

[Double A]

by the way doublea is dead and a heathen so ignore him.

Ok don't listen to me.


vote: diy

why sir can i have a reason?

Not an OMGUS vote. Totally not guilty.

[Death is yonder]

vote: diy

why sir can i have a reason?

Unvote: Yaropolk

Vote: Centurion

Well sir, for this very post right here!

[Centurion1]

good reason :sweatdrop:

[Joooray]

I let DIY slip this round, for now at least and put some pressure back on Yaro.

So, Vote: Yaropolk. How does your tummy feel, buddy?

[Death is yonder]

Why are you letting me slip past, did I do something wrong?

Unvote: Centurion1
Vote: Yaropolk

Let me slip some more.

[Joooray]

Why are you letting me slip past, did I do something wrong?

Unvote: Centurion1
Vote: Yaropolk

Let me slip some more.
Man, I think whatever affects the Server has also cought on to me. Of course I meant Centurion1. :sweatdrop:

[Yaropolk]

Vote DIY cause I ain't the killa!

[johnhughthom]

Vote: Diy


Make up your mind! :furious3:

[Death is yonder]

I already did! Now my vote will be staying on Yaropolk.

Begone you evil bandwagon attempt you! Begone! :furious3:

:clown:


Vote DIY cause I ain't the killa!

You ate the dog food :cry:

[Askthepizzaguy]

With 5 out of 6 votes cast, Death is yonder is in the lead. Writeup to follow.

Death is yonder: 3 (C1, Yaro, JHT)
Yaropolk: 2 (JOO, DIY)

[Askthepizzaguy]

Forum is wacky, sorry for the delay, obviously DIY is lynched but I can't do the writeup while the .org is in its present state.

When it's working again, the game will continue (you're not done yet). So feel free to vote when you can.




Alive: 5

Captain Blackadder
Joooray
Centurion1 (Sub for 'otan)
Johnhughthom
Yaropolk

Dead: 2

Double A- Prancer
Death is yonder- Cupid

[Askthepizzaguy]

With the .org back up and running, I will endeavor to complete the customary poem for this round as soon as I take a break from RE:DF character cards, but this next round has begun. Please post and vote; you have 24 hours. I hope everyone knows the .org is working again.

:bow:

[johnhughthom]

I will endeavor to complete the customary poem for this round

You mean you're writing these on the fly? :dizzy2:

[Askthepizzaguy]

Yes, I usually spend about 30 minutes writing the poem after I see what you guys did.

Obviously the poem has to somewhat reflect the events of the round, so I can't write it beforehand.

And the poem you see is only the first draft because I don't have time for re-writes. It's just my way of entertaining myself and escaping from the world of horror in the Resident Evil game. Keeps my spirits up.

[Askthepizzaguy]

"Twas the second night since the theiving, and Santa went looney
Have you seen The Langoliers? Yeah, kinda like Craig Toomey.
All day long Santa's missus was on his case,
And he was getting tired of seeing her grumpy old face.
"Do the dishes! Shovel the driveway! Polish the frickin' sleigh!"
Santa replied, "Shush, you wench! Go gargle in the bidet!"
But soon Santa dashed, Santa dashed to his sled,
as Mrs. Claus threw ornaments and knives at his head.
As he sat in his sleigh, "ho, ho, ho..." hissed the elf;
"I heard that!" yelled his wife, "go jingle yourself!"
Santa sat, bells freezing off, as he cracked open a beer
Wondering just when, in his life, that he married a steer.
A cow, rather, whose udders had long dried;
A heifer with wrinkles and pimples and boils on her hide.
A hoofed mammal, Nick huffed, his thoughts turning snide,
A large cud-chewing bovine; a wicked wretch of a bride.
"Why didn't I marry that tooth fairy?" Santa started to ponder,
Then he checked the tally; it was time to kill Death is yonder.
"But how to kill him?" Santa wondered, and he wondered some more,
how to turn into a delight what might have once been a chore.
"I think that it is time to make the furry ones cry
I think I'll light them up, just like the Fourth of July!
Grinding them up into hamburger was surely fun,
But an explosion or two just couldn't be outdone!
In their pen, those reindeer will wish they'd have stayed,
To their reindeer gods they will wish to have prayed,
They will rue the day their master was betrayed,
When they see Santa's Naughty Kid Annihilating, Rocket-propelled Grenade!
The launcher was thirty seven point four inches in length
The warhead was of terrifying, unstoppable strength
It had a maximum range of one thousand yards
On its length there was written "Santa sends his regards"
Santa had shown it to his nephew, and to his nieces
And now he'd show everyone how to blow caribou to pieces
It could incinerate tanks, and all manner of personnel
It could surely send naughty reindeer directly to "heck"
It could blow their meat clean off of their bones
It could darn all their souls in fire and brimstone
Santa's eyes twinkled and he laughed with delight
As he pictured reindeer dancing, their bodies alight
The furry ones fleeing, and screaming with fright
Burning in sheer agony... oh boy, what a sight!
So he grabbed his RPG, and he strapped it on tight
And he went off to end a reindeer's life that same night.
He kicked open the pen, and he roared a loud roar
He said "You'd better flee, I must politely implore
Because very soon there will be carnage galore
And you'll taste Santa's wrath like never before!"
So Dasher went dashing, and Comet went streaking
And down Donner's legs, much urine was leaking
As Vixen creeped away, tiptoe-ing and sneaking,
Whilst Blitzen was too busy, blubbering, and shrieking.
Cupid tried in vain to escape, but he was just freaking
Because Saint Nick found the reindeer that he was now seeking
O'er the fence Cupid bounded; he scampered off and took flight
But Santa calmly set the furry reindeer in his sights
He aimed directly at the reindeer's tail so white
And incinerated lil' Cupid with a massive fireball that night.
All across the North Pole, in the fresh fallen snow
There were scattered Cupid's ashes, still faintly aglow.
Santa's evil deed done, he went back to his sleigh,
His boar of a wife several hundred yards away,
He slept in his sled until the night became day
And when he awoke, he saw with dismay
That during the night more kibble went away
At least one of the remaining reindeer would soon pay
Today they would vote, and they would debate
Which reindeer among them would suffer poor Cupid's fate.


https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/Rpg-7.jpg





There we go.... :sweatdrop: Hope it's satisfactory.

[Death is yonder]

Satisfactory indeed, :laugh4:

:2thumbsup:

Fellow reindeer, good luck and maybe you won't just become mincemeat :wink:

[johnhughthom]

The Langoliers! Haven't seen that in years.

Goes on internet search to find Stephen King film.

[Joooray]

So we are looking for Vixen, if the write up and my interpretation is any indication.

And I think that's you Centurion1, considering your scummy post last round. You seem like a sneaky one. :yes:

So Vote: Centurion1.

PS: A FoS: John. To shy to cast a first vote, eh?

[johnhughthom]

PS: A FoS: John. To shy to cast a first vote, eh?

Nope, busy finding The Langoliers to watch. Now that that's done, Vote: Centurion1. I don't like subs.

[Centurion1]

vote: johnhugh


i dont like johns, hughs, but i do like thoms

[Yaropolk]

So we are looking for Vixen, if the write up and my interpretation is any indication.

And I think that's you Centurion1, considering your scummy post last round. You seem like a sneaky one. :yes:

So Vote: Centurion1.

PS: A FoS: John. To shy to cast a first vote, eh?

I know for a fact that Vixen is innocent, you're misinterpreting the poem.
But I'll Vote: Centurion1, voting for a dead guy last round indicates he isn't paying much attention to who is being lynched.

[Centurion1]

unvote; vote: yaropolk


i was a replacement and i came in about an hour before double a was lynched.

scummy :inquisitive:

[Captain Blackadder]

vote jooray

Soemthing just seems suspicious about you.

[Askthepizzaguy]

That's plenty of time; I'll get to the writeup as soon as I can. Taking a breakies right now.

[Askthepizzaguy]

https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/satan_claus-1.jpg



'Twas the third night since the burglary, all quiet in the house
Until Mrs. Claus started yelling "Get off your butt, you old louse!
There's walls that need painting, and dishes that need scrubbing,
And you'd better do a darn good job when you do the snow shoveling
I can't get out the driveway, and I'm getting split ends,
because I can't go to the book club with all my book club friends.
And you know something else, you need to get thinner
Tonight, all you're having is broccoli for dinner."
So Santa huffed and he puffed and he said with a smile
"Why don't you kindly get off my back for a while?
I'm retired, and still tired from managing hundreds of elves
And spending my danged Christmas filling department store shelves
With toys for ungrateful, spoiled, whiny, snot-nosed little brats
And I'm tired of these constant, un-Christmas-y spats
And I'm tired of hearing your shrill old voice
I'd shut you up good and tight if given the choice
So begone, devil woman, just leave me be
Just leave me alone to watch my brand new TV."
And so Mrs. Claus said "DO IT OR YOU'RE DEAD!!!"
And so Mr. Claus said "Bah, go soak your head."
And so Mrs. Claus said "I'LL SMACK YOU SILLY!!!"
And so Mr. Claus said nothing as he ate some piping-hot chili.
And so Mrs. Claus said "I'M WARNING YOU, NOW GO!!!"
And so Mr. Claus just gave a jolly "Ho ho ho... NO!"
And so Mrs. Claus went to the tree, and started gathering candy canes
And so Mr. Claus said "What are you doing, are you insane?"
And so Mrs. Claus said "It seems that way, you big jerk!
Now I'll warn you one last time, you'd better (expletive) get to work!"
And Mr. Claus said "Make me" and so Mrs. Claus obliged
She started whipping candy canes at his jolly old hide.
Santa said "Ow, that hurts you old hag, so you'd better run,
I'll settle this once and for all with my trusty gun!"
And Mrs. Claus just laughed and laughed at Saint Nick,
But Santa Claus looked red-faced and quite ticked,
And Mrs. Claus knew that this time he weren't joking
Because of the way his jolly old ears were smoking
And he put down his pipe and he put down his beer
And he finally got up off his fat and lazy old rear
And he grabbed for his shotgun and gave a raspy "HEEE-HAW!!!"
Mrs. Claus was frightened by the look in his eyes that she saw.
"I think this time he's serious" she said as she fled
As Santa Claus started bashing the walls with his head
He was all fired up, and he was looking quite steamed,
And he fired that shotgun while Mrs. Claus screamed
Oh don't worry folks, Santa Claus surely missed her,
But he took out all the frankincense and myrrh
And he took one look at the tree, and with a laugh
He blew the carefully-arranged decoration in half
He shot up the boxes, he shot up the toys
He made an awful mess and a cacophony of noise
He shot up her new sweater, he shot up her new dresser,
He got revenge on his foul wife, the oppressor
He went into the bedroom and shot up her new vanity
In one final act of repetitive nagging-induced insanity
He fired and he fired and he shot up the whole house
Until not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Mrs. Claus had locked herself in the bath, quite afraid
She wouldn't come out and see the big mess Santa made
And Santa, who ran out of ammo, then decided
To grab some whiskey and drink until his temper subsided
So he went to the cabinets, and he went to the shelves
And he went through the bottles until he found some Jack Daniel's
And then with a huff, through the front door, he went away
And he took his pipe and his whiskey all the way to his sleigh
Where he could smoke and drink in peace, for the rest of the day
So then he opened up the whiskey, and enjoyed it's bouquet
He poured himself a glass, and set it near the throttle,
then with a shrug, he simply downed the whole bottle
And then he puffed and he puffed on his pipe
And he was quite pleased not to hear his annoying wife gripe
But then he remembered, he needed to take care of some business
He needed to punish the reindeer that had destroyed his Christmas
So he sat and he pondered how he would get his revenge,
But he decided he'd think much better after another drinking binge
So he downed all the whiskey, and he drank all the schnapps
And he downed shot after shot until Santa collapsed
When he came to, he was not in his right mind
And his anger and his hate and his drunken state combined
Until he came up with a fun way to make those ungrateful piggies squeal
He'd chase after them all with his souped-up snowmobile
And atop of his saddle in his great horseless sleigh
He'd be wielding a chainsaw, while he was chasing his prey
A look of pure evil came to his murderous eyes
When he thought of cutting those reindeer down to size
So he got up with a huff, he went off with a bound
And into the garage he went, until was heard a sound;
The gasoline engine in the vehicle was heard 'round the pole
And Santa Claus laughed, from the darkest part of his soul
He'd cut them in half, he'd slice off their jaw
He'd mutilate their bodies with his evil saw
And so he took off, and soon he took flight
As his 'mobile flew over snow drifts in the night
And he crashed his 'mobile straight into the pen
And threatened to murder one of the reindeer once again
He barked to them all "OKAY, WHAT'S THE TALLY???"
And so it was Centurion1, in this poem's finale
Donner, the reindeer, ran off in such fright
When he saw Santa Claus sawing up everything in sight
But then, poor Donner, he was trapped in a corner
And soon, very soon, he'd be meeting the coroner
In very small pieces, he'd be scattered to and fro
Chunks of flesh would soon end up in the snow
And Santa roared, his sick evil laugh
As he sawed poor Donner clean in half
And he buzzed off his legs, and he buzzed off his hooves
To punish the poor creature for gobbling up Scrumptious' food
He hacked him to bits, and mangled his corpse
The papers would call Santa the "Terror of the North"
But during this, Donner's nose popped off and fell in the snow
And beneath the false nose, Santa saw a faint glow
It seems this wasn't Donner at all, that much was made clear
It seemed it was Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Alas, poor Rudolph, his bright nose starting to fade
Would be placed in the earth until he decayed
And it seemed that Santa had killed one of the deer
That had been making poor Scrumptious' food disappear
Rudolph, it seemed, had bore a disguise
So that he'd be able to blend in and hide
Among the other reindeer, while the rest of them died
But that night in the cold, in the reindeer's old pen
Rudolph's larcenous kibble-eating career met its end

The next morning, however, yet more kibble was gone
And so they'd vote once again,
and lynch another guilty fawn




https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/1762249731_803cb77161.jpg




Alive: 4

Captain Blackadder
Joooray
Johnhughthom
Yaropolk

Dead: 3

Double A- Prancer
Death is yonder- Cupid
Centurion1- Donner/Rudolph

[Yaropolk]

Last round's tally:

Jooray: cent1
JH: cent1
Yaro: cent1
Cent1: jh then yaro
CB: jooray

If scum know each other, it would seem CB is our man.

[B]vote: CB[\B]

[Yaropolk]

My markup skills are lacking

vote: CB

[Joooray]

But would he be so stupid to cast the last vote against his dog food eating buddy and thus sticking out rather than blending in? :shrug:

Looking at the voting behavior of the last few rounds I rather come to the conclusion that you are rather suspicious. With Cent taking the heat off you the round DiY was then lynched and you being the third on the bandwagon last round when it became clear that your buddy was going to feel Santa's wrath, while at the same time trying to clear Vixen's name though there is nobody with investigation abilities that I'm aware of. That all screams scum to me. Also, your breath has been really bad the last few days, not as bad as santa's but bad enough.
So, I'm sorry but I have to follow my gut and Vote: Yaropolk.

[Yaropolk]

Lets do some basic math, shall we?

5 votes last round. 2 on centurion, 1 on JH. Nothing has been decided at that point. I could have voted for JH or for you, centurion stacks on me, and we try to convince CB that one of you is scum. I would never throw a mafia partner to the dogs unless the day was already lost. In addition, i will remind you that Cent voted for me. You can play the wifom card saying that we decided to throw all our efforts behind me, but even if that were the case, I wouldn't be stupid enough to Bw third and then have my about to be lynched partner vote for me.

Also if you recall, you accused Vixen, and i posted that he's i know he's innocent (I am vixen). Why would mafia want to draw such attention to himself rather than sit back and use our voting block powers to quietly lynch off random opponents?

CB is our dog food eater. If he's not I'll offer my head up tomorrow for the chopping block.

[Askthepizzaguy]

I'm going to need at least three votes to end this round, and I'd like to see all four.

[johnhughthom]

CB is our dog food eater. If he's not I'll offer my head up tomorrow for the chopping block.

If he isn't and you are you have won tomorrow, so that's a meaningless promise.


Vote: CB

[Joooray]

Not really, we would still be two townies vs one mafia. :shrug:

Your arguments do make sense though, Yaro, so I'll grant you that wish and Unvote ;Vote: CB.

[johnhughthom]

Not really, we would still be two townies vs one mafia. :shrug:


Getting the two Christmas games mixed up...

[Captain Blackadder]

Yoah I am not the dog eater I am the most loyal raindeer of all Dancer.

Now firstly the reason I voted for jooray was that I found him suspicious and I heavily dislike rounds were everyone votes for one person and that is that it makes it easy for the mafia to hide within the town so I voted for so0meone else just to see if I got a reaction nothing more nothing less.

[johnhughthom]

Why no vote Edmund?

[Captain Blackadder]

Because if I do vote for yaro who to me is suspicious everyone would say that it is a retaliate vote and continue to vote for me. If I am to die that is fine but I want one thing promised that yaropolk will be kept to his deal and will be the next to go don't let him get away with manufacting a lynch againest another innocent.

Vote Yaro

[Askthepizzaguy]

Well everyone has voted and it's been more than 24 hours, so... I think it is fair to say this round is over. Captain Blackadder gets lynched, and I'll have a poem for you soon.

[Subotan]

Do you write these poems yourself?

[Askthepizzaguy]

Of course. Me and my trusty rhyming dictionary.

[Askthepizzaguy]

https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/satan_claus-1.jpg



'Twas the fourth night of bloodshed, since Santa had snapped
And Kris Kringle had woken from a long winter's nap
He yawned from his sleigh, parked out in the snow
And listened to the Saints football game on the radio
He's a Saints fan of course, he is a saint after all
Santa was hammered before they even kicked the ball
He cheered for Thomas as he rushed for a score
And he cheered for Drew Brees as he threw for one more
He gobbled some pork rinds as he cheered a Hartley field goal
And he laughed as the Bucs fell deep in the hole
Just before the half, the Bucs broke their streak
But at 3 to 17, for their team it looked bleak
Santa roared with glee and pounded his chest
Everyone knew, Santa thought, that the Saints were the best.
"Who were these Buccaneers, who do they think they are?
Don't mess with the Saints" Santa said, as he lit a cigar.
After halftime was over, Santa was fully tanked
He cheered some more, as the Bucs were getting spanked.
After a bore of a third quarter, and no change in the score,
Another victory cognac, Santa started to pour.
Just then the Bucs scored after a 23 yard gain
But Santa was still confident that the Saints would win the game
But when Spurlock returned the punt for 77 yards
Santa started tearing up all of his Christmas cards
He was steamed that his team would blow a 17-point lead
But as the game went to overtime, he still wouldn't concede
When the Bucs won the toss, he was grinding his teeth
He cheered the Saints defense, one of the league's most elite
but Santa blubbered and he sputtered and he cussed and he swore
When the Bucs offense drove into range for a long-distance score
His face had turned red and his throat was choked tight
When Barth's kick went 47 yards and split the uprights
"How could this be?" Santa hissed, "Just how could this be?"
And Saint Nick was quite pissed. "How could you lose to that team?"
And Saint Nick, with his Santa-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could this be so?
They lost to the Bucs! They blew a huge lead!
In the second half, they frickin' shut out Drew Brees!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then Santa thought of something he hadn't before
"The Saints lost," he thought, "To a team two and twelve."
Such a thought made Santa grab his gun from the shelf
And what happened then...? Well in the North Pole they say
That Kris Kringle's cold evil heart shrank three sizes that day
In a minute his brain just didn't feel quite right
He nearly had a heart attack, in the bright morning light
His blood started to boil, until vessels burst in his head
And he... HE HIMSELF... Would murder every Bucs fan dead!
But before this would happen, Santa would go berserk
And he would slaughter a reindeer, maybe this time, the jerk
Who ate up the dog food, and like a thief in the night
Would sneak back to the pen, while the others slept tight.
So he thought up a plan, and he thought it up quick,
He phoned up his drinking buddy, a close friend of Saint Nick's,
Someone Santa knew, who would think killing reindeer was funny,
Someone as cold-hearted as Santa himself, that crazed Easter Bunny.
And Santa yelled through the phone, "Time to go hunting, buddy Frank!
Let's kill us some reindeer, and do it with a bloody tank!"
And the crazed white rabbit hopped on over with glee,
The two of them driving a tank was quite a sight to see
They drove past the polar bears, they drove over the ice,
And they didn't give a **** who was naughty or nice
Santa had just one thing on his crazy old mind,
He'd flatten everything in sight, as his rage made him blind.
He drove the tank all the way to their pen
And asked through a loudspeaker "What's the tally, again?"
A nervous reindeer held up a sign, as the others started to run,
It showed "Blackadder" had been lynched, three votes to one.
So Santa shouted "HEY DANCER! GET YOUR MANGY BUTT OUT HERE!"
And Dancer watched in horror as Santa's tank came near.
And so Dancer danced off, and he sprinted off in a flash,
As the tank drove through their pen with an enormous crash
Dancer prayed for a miracle, as he tried to dash away
With Santa close behind, in an unholy armored sleigh
And then Santa smiled; his sadistic glee he did show,
As a blast from the main gun sent Dancer into the snow.
O'er the hills the tank went, treads lifting up off the ground,
Until the thing came crashing down, with an earth-shattering sound
And all that was left of Dancer, indeed all that remained
of his corpse that was flattened, was a big bloody stain.
The Easter Bunny and Kris Kringle drank in celebration
of their unholy deed, which guaranteed them damnation
But what sanity was left, in Santa's twisted mind
Was all gone the next morning, when he happened to find
That yet more kibble had gone missing from the big kibble sack.
So one last time, the poor reindeer, would have to vote who'd get whacked.
And if they did not find the true culprit today,
Santa warned, one last time, that they would ALL truly pay.











https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/crazy.jpg



Alive: 3

Joooray
Johnhughthom
Yaropolk

Dead: 4

Double A- Prancer
Death is yonder- Cupid
Centurion1- Donner/Rudolph
Captain Blackadder- Dancer

[Yaropolk]

As promised vote: Yaro

I am not sure who is cent1's partner, well played. My FOS is on Jooray only because 2 rounds ago safest vote on Centurion for mafia would have been the first one + he's been very active, always voting first avoiding being a follower on bandwagons.

Up to you JH to figure it out.

[Yaropolk]

Actually scratch what I said about Jooray, he wouldnt have started a BW on his partner. I think we're being had by the host and all three playes are innocent. So....unvote; vote:atpg

[Askthepizzaguy]

If that's the case, then I get to vote.

Vote: Yaropolk :san_laugh:

[johnhughthom]

I doubt it's Atpg, we are all very wary of him in his games and it wouldn't be enough of a shock to satisfy him (In my opinion, not claiming in depth knowledge of our host's pysche :sweatdrop:).

Yaro's proclamation seems to make it unlikely he's the baddie unless he was WIFOMing us, which makes more sense to me than Jooray. Vote: Yaro


Sorry for the edit, hit spoiler instead of bold.

[Subotan]

Of course. Me and my trusty rhyming dictionary.

Superb.

[Joooray]

Damn, this sucks. One of you has truly played a superb game. I'll still go with Vote: Yaro. Of course john could be the dog food eater as well, but my gut tells me that Yaro just tried to be very clever.

[Double A]

If pizza gets a vote, I do too.

vote: Pizza

[Askthepizzaguy]

That's enough time; round has concluded.

Please, everyone refrain from commenting until the writeup is posted.

[Askthepizzaguy]

https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/satan_claus-1.jpg


Twas the fifth night of mischief, since the slayings began
And one of the reindeer had hatched a master plan
One that would end Nick's murderous spree
And end in a wond'rous New Year reindeer jamboree
"It is time to fight back" the head reindeer said
"If we don't, my companions, we'll all end up dead."
The others nodded, and they were in agreement
They would all put an end to their brethren's pain and torment.
While Santa was busy, arguing with his wife
One of the reindeer confiscated a knife
Another, a Smith and Wesson model 19
The third, a flamethrower, to cause damage extreme
They plotted their escape from their broken pen
Never to return to that same hellish den
They went out to the frozen lake near the pole
And hid nearby with the weapons they stole.
One of them, however, started tapping the ice
With his hooves rather sharply, in a manner most precise.
And they waited for a while to spring their clever trap
After Santa awoke from his post-domestic-fight nap
He went out to the garage to grab his shotgun
And counted the votes up to see who had won
He went to the pen to slay the crooked deer,
But he saw that the three of them had disappeared!
So he followed their tracks, in the fresh fallen snow
Down to the valley, near the frozen lake below
He followed their tracks to the edge of the lake
And that's when Santa made his fatal mistake
He stepped onto the ice, and began to cross
As the reindeer prepared to ambush their boss
When he was almost across, they sprung their trap
They came from three sides, and then closed the gap
They charged at Santa, their weapons held high
Confident these were Santa's last moments alive
At this point, however, the reindeer felt dumb
They couldn't wield them properly; for they had no thumbs
And so they watched as the evil old Saint Nick
Pumped his deadly shotgun with a chilling "click click"
But fortune was smiling on the poor animals that night
As Santa lost his balance and slipped on the ice
The reindeer charged, their antlers angled low
And pounded Saint Nicholas into the snow
They bashed and they bucked and they bloodied him up
They kicked his teeth in, and his skull was concussed
They rammed him, and shook him, like a bowl full of jelly
They smashed him quite hard in his fat hairy belly
He was knocked back, and slipped once again on the ice
And it was here that Santa paid the ultimate price
He slid to the middle of the frozen lake
Where the ice, already cracked, started to break
The reindeer watched with great expectation
They trotted a bit closer, in joyful anticipation
As beneath evil Claus, the ice split and gave way
(He must have eaten too much Chinese buffet)
Into the icy drink evil Santa Claus splashed
The only thing left of him was his sash.







https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/3000105026_31d8be8496.jpg











The reindeer, especially Vixen, breathed a sigh of relief
As he was today's vote-winning suspected thief
"You guys, I promise you, I didn't take the treats
Just the thought of angering Santa made me wet the sheets"
And Comet nodded, in agreement with Vixen
And Dasher observed "Hey, what happened to Blitzen?"
That's right, they remembered, there were nine reindeer
Just where did Blitzen and Donner disappear?
Well naughty Rudolph shipped Donner to Abu Dhabi
And took on his identity, to aid his thieving hobby
But that left Blitzen still unaccounted for
There were only three left, shouldn't there be more?
Too late, it dawned on them, another reindeer was missing
His bloody corpse in a box, all wrapped up with a string
He was shipped to Nick as a morbid Christmas present
By a murderous reindeer, with most malicious intent
The murderer was among them, but which one, and why?
Weren't they all united, as brothers, to make Santa die?
It seems that among them, there was a traitor so shrewd
as to let his brothers all die, just to steal some food
The three remaining deer looked at each other with suspicion
Which one that remained was of evil disposition?
Dasher shook his head and said "It wasn't me,
I'm innocent guys, this I will guarantee"
And Comet spoke up, in a manner most sincere
"I'd never, ever, harm a fellow reindeer"
So they looked at Vixen with accusatory eyes
And said "You killed Blitzen... all traitors must die"
They both charged at Vixen and rammed his furry hide
And across the lake ice, he began to slide
Into the icy water, where he would sink down
Because he couldn't swim, and thusly, he drowned.
So Dasher and Comet nodded at one another,
Confident they had lynched their murderous brother
And Comet laughed, as Dasher jumped on the ice
Their nightmare now over, their future sure looked nice.
Comet warned Dasher to please be cautious;
The ice was still thin, and those jumps made him nauseous.
But Dasher looked at him with a cold, icy stare
And snorted, and tapped his hoof on the ice, with a glare.
The ice underneath them started to crack
And Comet lost his footing and fell on his back
Dasher dashed off to the safety of the snow
As the integrity of the ice sheet started to go
With a shout, Dasher shouted "You can die like Vixen,
THAT ONE WAS FOR RUDOLPH, AND MY NAME IS BLITZEN!"
And with a laugh, an evil laugh, Blitzen blitzed off
No longer would he eat like a pig at a trough
He could dine all day on sweet Christmas kibble
He'd never have to argue for his fair share, nor quibble
Blitzen could eat and eat until he had his fill
It was his greedy appetite that caused him to kill
He and Rudolph were finally fed up with the swill
It was time to send Scrumptious to an old puppy mill
And dispose of Mrs. Claus, with her voice so shrill
He'd slash her to bits, and make her blood spill
(It seems that murdering gave Blitzen a cheap thrill)
He'd bury her carcass up on the old snowy hill
And inherit the workshop, as it said in Santa's will
Which of course, Blitzen forged, with his clever forging ways
And he'd retire, fat and rich, happy for the rest of his days.






https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/reindeer.jpg


CONGRATULATIONS, DISOBEDIENT REINDEER!!!

WELL DONE, CENTURION1 AND JOHNHUGHTHOM!!!







Alive: 1

Johnhughthom- Blitzen, AKA "Dasher"

Dead: 6

Double A- Prancer
Death is yonder- Cupid
Centurion1- Rudolph, AKA "Donner"
Captain Blackadder- Dancer
Yaropolk- Vixen
Joooray- Comet




Ho ho ho..... :san_laugh: :san_laugh: :san_laugh: :san_laugh: :san_laugh: :san_laugh: :san_laugh: :san_laugh: :san_laugh: :san_laugh: :san_laugh: :san_laugh:

[Askthepizzaguy]

Here are all the role PMs, which admittedly I didn't put a lot of extra effort into making. Only the disobedient reindeer's roles are read-worthy. The disobedient reindeer did not know each other, thus making it harder on them and easier on the obedient team.



Joooray- Comet

Comet is one of Crazy Santa's most obedient reindeer. He didn't eat the dog food.

Death is yonder- Cupid

Cupid is one of Crazy Santa's most obedient reindeer. He didn't eat the dog food.

Yaropolk- Vixen

Vixen is one of Crazy Santa's most obedient reindeer. He didn't eat the dog food.

Double A- Prancer

Prancer is one of Crazy Santa's most obedient reindeer. He didn't eat the dog food.

Captain Blackadder- Dancer

Dancer is one of Crazy Santa's most obedient reindeer. He didn't eat the dog food.

Subotan/Centurion1- Donner

Donner is one of Crazy Santa's most obedient reindeer. He didn't eat the dog food.



===================
And now, your REAL role:
===================



Subotan/Centurion1- Rudolph

Rudolph is one of Crazy Santa's most disobedient reindeer. As a Christmas prank, he put some black soot on his nose, pushed Donner into a big brown box and shipped him to Abu Dhabi. Now, posing as Donner, he's been eating Santa's dog Scrumptious' Christmas kibble every night.

You're not alone... one of the other disobedient reindeer is eating the kibble as well. You don't know who it is. As long as one of you survives the game, you both win. There are no night phases, so you must trick the other reindeer into voting themselves to death, and keep yourself and your anonymous partner alive.
Johnhughthom- Dasher

Dasher is one of Crazy Santa's most obedient reindeer. He didn't eat the dog food.



===================
And now, your REAL role:
===================



Johnhughthom- Blitzen

Blitzen is one of Crazy Santa's most disobedient reindeer. As a Christmas prank, he murdered Dasher, pushed Dasher into a big brown box and shipped him to Santa as a Christmas present. Now, posing as Dasher, he's been eating Santa's dog Scrumptious' Christmas kibble every night.

You're not alone... one of the other disobedient reindeer is eating the kibble as well. You don't know who it is. As long as one of you survives the game, you both win. There are no night phases, so you must trick the other reindeer into voting themselves to death, and keep yourself and your anonymous partner alive.

[Joooray]

:daisy: !! Jooooooohn!! :furious3:

:no: We could have lived happily ever after, greedy :daisy: !!

:clown: Nah, very good game, good sir. I am amazed and salute you. :bow:

Edit: Ahh, that they did not know each other makes it difficult to analyze voting behavior.

And also, thank you very much for hosting this game, Atpg. It was a blast and your poems are truly beautiful. :laugh4:

[Askthepizzaguy]

That voting pattern analysis fails is the only saving grace of not knowing who your partner was.

Believe me, I've hosted several mini-games, and a split-up team does tend to get one another killed. :laugh4:

[Yaropolk]

Bah the fact that the mafia DIDN'T know each other did us in!

[johnhughthom]

Bah the fact that the mafia DIDN'T know each other did us in!

Definitely, I actually thought you were the most likely candidate to be my partner. :laugh4:

Thanks for the game Atpg, especially the poems. I think that was my first ever win as mafia.:2thumbsup:

[Subotan]

Bah the fact that the mafia DIDN'T know each other did us in!

You have no idea how tempting it was to spill the beans. Good game everyone, especially John and Yaropolk (Who I thought played the best/most honourably)

[Askthepizzaguy]

It was such a shame that you had to drop/get replaced, Subotan; I was looking forward to seeing you kick some reindeer tail. Just keep signing up for my games, your time will come.

:yes:

[Subotan]

I was hoping to make amends after the 30YW debacle. Unfortunately, I was denied that opportunity. Hopefully next time :yes:

[Death is yonder]

Good game to the mafia, and thanks to ATPG for hosting.

:bow:

Great poems too :2thumbsup: