How do I come out of this situation without looking like a fool?

[Cowhead418]

I'm currently studying abroad in Vladimir, Russia, and I'm having a great time, I love this country, I love the people, and I love learning the language. Anyway, last Thursday (the 24th), I was in bar with a couple American friends, and while we usually only speak in Russian to each other for the practice, we got lazy last week and conversed in English. A few tables away, a couple Russian girls heard our English and asked us if we were from America. After we responded affirmatively they got all excited at the chance to meet foreigners and invited us to drink with them. One of the girls, Ксюша (Ka-soo-sha), said she had recently been dumped. Well, after drinking for awhile, we ended up making out. A few days later, on Sunday, we met again and I asked her out on a date, which is going to happen today.

However, on Sunday, I found out that my tutor, Svetlana, who I had asked out in the past and have basically been crushing on for the past two months, broke up with her boyfriend. On Thursday, I couldn't hold back and I also asked her out, and we have a date this Thursday. She knows about Ксюша because I asked her for advice on what restaurant to go to for our date, and when Svetlana asked me about her, I said I'd "take care of the situation" (I don't know what this means). I've asked some friends for advice, and they're mixed, some say to just not give a shit and date them both because I'm only here for six more weeks, but others think I should just distance myself from Ксюша, so to not be a dick. I'm at a loss of what to do. I like Svetlana more, but I don't want to tell Ксюша to buzz off either. I also have only seriously dated one girl in the past (she was also a foreigner - Ukrainian, non-native English speaker, I guess I just love Eastern Europeans), so I don't have much love life experience to fall back on, and I've certainly never had this burden of riches before. I am kinda considering the "date them both" option, because I am leaving soon anyway, but I don't come across as an idiot, either. :help:

[Reenk Roink]

If you can manage, both girls at once, aw yeah! :cool: If not pick the hotter one of course.

However, if this might turn out the be long term, like you feel that way right now, then go ahead and pick Svetlana even if she isn't as pretty as Kashosha.

Edit: Source is Dr. Sergei Fedorov

[Crazed Rabbit]

If you don't want to feel like a *fool* then you have to choose one.

How to let Ксюша down gently I don't know (assuming you decide to date only Svetlana).

CR

[rajpoot]

Take her out on the first date and let her down gently as to why you can't take her on a second.......
Then maybe write a story about the whole incident.

[Secura]

So, both Ксюша and Svetlana have recently come out of relationships? You are basically in the rebound zone, then; our emotions are often at their most raw during this period, particularly if the boy dumped us and not the other way around.

Speaking from my own experiences, sometimes I've just wanted to sit in my room with close friends, watch Thelma and Louise and eat junk food... on other occasions, I have thought "what the hell" and had a girly night out in my favourite clubs, ending up doing things that I hope my parents never find out about.

The very last thing that any girl in this situation will want to hear is that you've found someone else to have fun with; with all the mixed emotions about her recent breakup, her self-esteem doesn't want to suffer another hit in such a manner, so you'll need to play it tactfully.

I suggest you go on the date, see how it goes and if you like the lass; don't mention Svetlana at all, and instead insinuate that you don't want to get involved when you only have six weeks left in Russia; if that doesn't particularly faze her, well... perhaps you should count yourself lucky that you have such a knack with the ladies over there, have your cake and eat it.

You're going to get that advice alot, I think. :P

[Subotan]

This sounds very much like what happened to Scott Pilgrim. Don't do what Scott did.

From my inexperienced point of view, it looks like you're going to come across as a fool whatever you do, as you done at least one thing that's foolish, maybe two. One, you should have dumped Ксюша before asking Svetlana out, and second, a relationship with a tutor doesn't really sound wise.

[Secura]

One, you should have dumped Ксюша before asking Svetlana out, and second, a relationship with a tutor doesn't really sound wise.

That's what happens in the heat of the moment though, you find yourself letting your emotions run away with you!

Cowhead's had a crush on his tutor for a while now, so the minute she's single, he made his move; even if we have never entertained the notion before, the whole rebound thing completely changes our perspectives and we're more likely to be appreciative of the attention. :/

On your second note, couldn't agree more; I'm not sure how much studying he's going to be getting on with now. :laugh4:

[Vuk]

That's what happens in the heat of the moment though, you find yourself letting your emotions run away with you!

Cowhead's had a crush on his tutor for a while now, so the minute she's single, he made his move; even if we have never entertained the notion before, the whole rebound thing completely changes our perspectives and we're more likely to be appreciative of the attention. :/

On your second note, couldn't agree more; I'm not sure how much studying he's going to be getting on with now. :laugh4:

Well, he is there to study a broad isn't he? errr...study abroad. :P

[Motep]

Well, he is there to study a broad isn't he? errr...study abroad. :P

Well, there goes my chance at making the joke...

I would listen to Secura.

[Secura]

I would listen to Secura.

Haha, this might be the only occasion where I answer one of these girl threads with "have your cake and eat it". :P

[Hosakawa Tito]

Hehehe, or maybe one of them will solve your delimma by not wanting to continue the relationship.

[Vuk]

Hehehe, or maybe one of them will solve your delimma by not wanting to continue the relationship.

Impossible! He is way too much of a stud for that! ~;)

[Beefy187]

Introduce one of them to Beefy. See if she likes him :wink:

Sometimes no matter what you do, you'll regret it later. I'd say date them both to get to know each other a bit more. If you think it could work then go with it.

[A Nerd]

What do you wish to accomplish with one or both of these women in the next couple of weeks? Perhaps that can guide your actions.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Introduce one of them to Beefy. See if she likes him :wink:

Sometimes no matter what you do, you'll regret it later. I'd say date them both to get to know each other a bit more. If you think it could work then go with it.

That's what I like about you Beefy, Always willing to help out.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.:laugh4:

[Vuk]

What do you wish to accomplish with one or both of these women in the next couple of weeks? Perhaps that can guide your actions.

I think that is an excellent response. You need to have a purpose and an objective, and let that guide your actions. Not making up your mind and acting randomly could hurt both you and them. Remember that both of them are probably emotionally in a very fragile state. Do you really want to lead one of them on or cause one or both of them hurt so that you can have the satisfaction of bragging of dating two girls? My advice would be to go with the one that you want, who you think will fulfill your needs best, and very gently let the other down.
Just my 2 cents...

[Strike For The South]

It is possible to keep both dates with these women, I have no idea why everyone seems to think you need to choose one right now

The org befuddles me sometimes

[Jaguara]

It is possible to keep both dates with these women, I have no idea why everyone seems to think you need to choose one right now

The org befuddles me sometimes

You know, I was sort of thinking the same thing...these girls know he is leaving in a few weeks, could it well be possible that they are not actually expecting anything to come from this relationship? Perhaps they are turning to him because they know he is leaving soon, and thus is a "safe" rebound? What is wrong with saying he is not ready for something committed or exclusive, and is just looking to get to know people and have a good time? It would seem to me that the girls in this case are probably expecting nothing more than a short fling or good time either...and if they are then they are incredibly naieve (not a word I think of when I think of the Russian women I know)

Then I got to thinking about another person I recently heard about...in a foreign land, had consentual sex with two different women in short succession without telling each about the other...you probably heard of him too...Julian Assange. As you know, he is now being charged with Rape over this, as I recall part of the claim was that "changing partners so fast is in itself a form of deception", and having "deceived" them it nullified the terms or expectations of the consent...

So the first question you need to ask yourself...have you done anything to piss off the CIA?

[Strike For The South]

I lol'd

But srsly why can he not keep dates with both women, they are just dates and he has made not commintent to either of them. Take them both for a spin.

But on the other hand DBNB either, if the ask about eachother tell them truth

[Prussian to the Iron]

i dont see a reason to not try both out for a first date. just make sure things dont get too hairy before you leave, or life'll be hell.

also get laid by at least one. just my opinion.

[Cowhead418]

This sounds very much like what happened to Scott Pilgrim. Don't do what Scott did.

From my inexperienced point of view, it looks like you're going to come across as a fool whatever you do, as you done at least one thing that's foolish, maybe two. One, you should have dumped Ксюша before asking Svetlana out, and second, a relationship with a tutor doesn't really sound wise.


That's what happens in the heat of the moment though, you find yourself letting your emotions run away with you!

Cowhead's had a crush on his tutor for a while now, so the minute she's single, he made his move; even if we have never entertained the notion before, the whole rebound thing completely changes our perspectives and we're more likely to be appreciative of the attention. :/

On your second note, couldn't agree more; I'm not sure how much studying he's going to be getting on with now. :laugh4:Hey now, dating my tutor isn't as detrimental to my studying as you might think. She isn't my math or science tutor, she's my Russian language tutor, she's there to help me communicate. Any time I talk to her or communicate with her in Russian in any way, I am doing some studying. By dating her, we'd be planning to meet more than we are now, which would actually mean I'd be getting MORE studying in, so there! :laugh4: Though, my director did say that if we got involved romantically with our tutors they'd be fired, so we have to keep this a secret. Mmm, a taboo relationship!

By the way, I did take Ксюша out on Saturday, we had a good time and I decided to not burn any bridges yet, though I definitely won't lead her on. Svetlana is next, I'm just going to keep both things going, and see what happens, I won't try to deceive anyone, though.

They're both beautiful, though I'd give a slight edge to Svetlana, and as I've known her for about two months longer, she also has that "emotional" edge as well. Right now, I'm not worried about the future, just going to enjoy the fact that I have the attention of two beautiful women, because who knows when I'll have this again?:grin2:

[Sarmatian]

Oh my God, I have only two words for you mate! - three some. Russian girls are hot and they are into very weird stuff and they just drop their clothes after a few words from a guy and get the hot, steamy sex started!!! At least the Russian girls in my videos but I don't see why these Russian girls should be any different.

Yes, I know it's one word, I'm just kidding.