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View Full Version : Got groped by TSA 15 min ago.


a completely inoffensive name
05-14-2011, 19:36
Didn't come up with any clever one liners.

dude tried to tell me them scanners are safe because we got bombarded everyday by background radiation.

give me some one liners for the TSA agent next time. gotta go, flght taking off right now.
HoreTore
05-14-2011, 20:39
He actually used the word "bombarded"....?

Classic.
Scienter
05-14-2011, 21:20
Didn't come up with any clever one liners.

dude tried to tell me them scanners are safe because we got bombarded everyday by background radiation.

give me some one liners for the TSA agent next time. gotta go, flght taking off right now.

You could say, "aren't you going to buy me dinner first?"
Centurion1
05-14-2011, 21:47
i dont usually go this far on the first date
Hosakawa Tito
05-14-2011, 22:14
I doubt you'll come up with any they haven't heard before.
ajaxfetish
05-14-2011, 22:15
I doubt you'll come up with any they haven't heard before.

Depends how hard you try. Maybe, "I haven't felt this horny since I licked my own nipples back on the escalator."

Ajax
Strike For The South
05-14-2011, 22:43
start crying
Louis VI the Fat
05-14-2011, 23:03
I always stick a few kinder suprises (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder_Surprise) up me rear as a gift for their children.
Crazed Rabbit
05-15-2011, 00:05
So do you need a bachelor's degree in molestation to get this job, or will an associate's degree in groping work?

CR
Gregoshi
05-15-2011, 02:44
"May I see your boarding pass?"

"Would you handcuff me first? Then spank me and tell me what a dirty boy I've been?"

"You're much better than my girlfriend."

I'm not responsible for any repurcussions you may suffer from using my lines.
Ronin
05-15-2011, 03:22
"that is not a flash light in my pocket"
"my safe-word is blue-dolphin ok?"
"can you talk dirty to me?"

at the end of the patdown:
"ohh come on don´t leave me like this...can´t you finish me off"?

like Gregoshi said....use at your own risk
Samurai Waki
05-15-2011, 04:03
"That's right Mr. Giraffe. Find all the marmalade."
"Shouldn't we have a glass of wine and whisper sweet nothings first?"
"Would you mind checking under my Penis as well? I've got an itch and it's been driving me crazy."
Fragony
05-15-2011, 10:03
Don't say anything and pretend you enjoy it, but not too obviously. Much creepier. Or pray ' lord relieve me of these sinful thoughts don't let satan tempt me' just audible so they can't be sure they are supposed to hear it.
Shaka_Khan
05-15-2011, 12:38
I had a woman TSA do it to me before. :beam:
edyzmedieval
05-15-2011, 12:54
Asking an internet forum focused on war games about one liners yields some really unique results. :mellow:
Hosakawa Tito
05-15-2011, 13:30
Speaking from 28 years of experience working jail; I'd say the percentage of TSA officers that enjoy doing pat frisks is much lower than the people who enjoy receiving them.
Tellos Athenaios
05-15-2011, 15:58
But what of the percentage of people who actively resent it? Anyway, if you are good with the “magic” tricks you can have a lot more quality fun with the hapless TSA officer.
Reenk Roink
05-15-2011, 16:33
Joking would be a good thing here. It's obviously a terribly awkward situation and as Hosa said, they likely hate it as much as you, so you might as well try and inject a bit of humor. Just don't take it too far and start talking about their wives or mamas of course.
Fragony
05-15-2011, 17:02
Speaking from 28 years of experience working jail; I'd say the percentage of TSA officers that enjoy doing pat frisks is much lower than the people who enjoy receiving them.

Sooooooooooooo stories plz. How was your first pervert.
Hosakawa Tito
05-15-2011, 22:53
I always stick a few kinder suprises (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder_Surprise) up me rear as a gift for their children.
Hehehe, those wouldn't be found during a pat-down. You're gonna have to show off your charms in a body scan, then submit to a strip frisk/cavity search when they discover your secret toybox. Tell'em everybody needs a hobby.:laugh4:
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v517/hoppy84/RHPS-FrankSmockGlove.jpg


Sooooooooooooo stories plz. How was your first pervert.

Those stories will have to be for a different time & thread. What I'd like to know is if ACIN opted for the pat-down instead of the body scan, and if so, why?
Scienter
05-16-2011, 12:15
start crying

Good one!

I'd be slightly tempted to fake an orgasm like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. Then I remember that I don't like the idea of being arrested and/or ending up on YouTube.
Fragony
05-16-2011, 13:15
Those stories will have to be for a different time & thread.

Don't tempt me into making a thread '28 years later: AssgropetheList Now'
Strike For The South
05-16-2011, 19:07
grope back
drone
05-16-2011, 20:00
Ask him if he knows how many sieverts he's taking in each day standing near the pr0noscope.
Seamus Fermanagh
05-17-2011, 01:45
So do you need a bachelor's degree in molestation to get this job, or will an associate's degree in groping work?

CR

Nope, just your union card.
Seamus Fermanagh
05-17-2011, 01:46
Joking would be a good thing here. It's obviously a terribly awkward situation and as Hosa said, they likely hate it as much as you, so you might as well try and inject a bit of humor. Just don't take it too far and start talking about their wives or mamas of course.

Jesting aside, this is probably spot on.
Major Robert Dump
05-18-2011, 07:49
Before I get to the front of the line, I discreetly unzip my pants and have my penis hanging out, as if its an accident. Then when they go to frisk me, we are both like OMGZ OOPSIE. That's how I met Fred, and he is an awesome lover except when I say "that sex was the bomb" then he kicks the crap out of me but I am kind of into that.
Tellos Athenaios
05-18-2011, 23:54
Now we know what to do. (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/01/25/passenger_acquitted/)