Das Ladies

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

So, if I could :laugh:, what age you think I should get a girlfriend by before I would be considered a lame duck of sorts?

[Monk]

18 to 80 - blind, crippled, or crazy - if they can't walk drag them.

[Sarmatian]

What's a girlfriend?

[Prince Cobra]

So, if I could :laugh:, what age you think I should get a girlfriend by before I would be considered a lame duck of sorts?

Never think of yourself as a lame duck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And second, that's very personal. If you like a girl, go for her.

A hint: make real life friends (just friends, I mean) Warman. Boys even girls. Friends make things funnier and help you meet new people ==> more girls. Probably at least one of them will be the girl for you.

[Motep]

friends ---> friends ---> girls

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

friends ---> friends ---> girls


Never think of yourself as a lame duck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And second, that's very personal. If you like a girl, go for her.

A hint: make real life friends (just friends, I mean) Warman. Boys even girls. Friends make things funnier and help you meet new people ==> more girls. Probably at least one of them will be the girl for you.

:yes: :yes:

[Csargo]

So, if I could :laugh:, what age you think I should get a girlfriend by before I would be considered a lame duck of sorts?

I don't understand the question. Could you please rephrase it?

[Veho Nex]

Warman, here are step by step instructions to getting a girlfriend.

1) Turn off computer
2) Grab sledge hammer
3) Slam hammer into computer
4) Put sledge hammer down (For some reason women get scared when a guy with a giant hammer approaches them.)
5) Go outside dressed in your Sunday best
6) Gain an air of danger and mystery, kinda like a spy.
7) Find attractive women
8) ?????
9) ?????
10) Have many kids.


I've yet to figure out steps 8 and 9

[Samurai Waki]

No, no, no, no. Dammit! You don't need your friends to get girls... or to smash your computer, or to do anything stupid and ridiculous. You just need to talk to them, they're people you know?

And you don't talk to just any random woman, unless you plan on getting a lot of weird looks... or want to get the feeling that you're a creeper. Perception is vital, if you notice that they notice you that's with whom you strike up the conversation... though this retired grazer has probably become exceedingly rusty...

[Monk]

4) Put sledge hammer down (For some reason women get scared when a guy with a giant hammer approaches them.)


Oh man, if I had a dollar for every time i'd made that mistake... :sweatdrop:

[a completely inoffensive name]

I think I need to copy paste my instructions on winning over a girl in here.

[Fisherking]

So, if I could :laugh:, what age you think I should get a girlfriend by before I would be considered a lame duck of sorts?


Start a 10.

For every year past 18 subtract one.

For every year past 25 subtract 10.

If you are bald subtract 10

If you are pudgy subtract 5.

If you are ugly hit on blind girls.

If blind girls won’t talk to you, you either need a personality transplant or to take a bath.

If past 30 and you are still a virgin, buy a hooker, and don’t tell girls you still live at home with mom.

If past 40, bald and fat, you may want to start frequenting gay bars.

[Samurai Waki]

Start a 10.

For every year past 18 subtract one.

For every year past 25 subtract 10.

If you are bald subtract 10

If you are pudgy subtract 5.

If you are ugly hit on blind girls.

If blind girls won’t talk to you, you either need a personality transplant or to take a bath.

If past 30 and you are still a virgin, buy a hooker, and don’t tell girls you still live at home with mom.

If past 40, bald and fat, you may want to start frequenting gay bars.


Brilliant!

[naut]

Don't worry. When I was your age I couldn't talk to women. Then again, that was because I was hiding in their wardrobes, masturbating. Would have completely given it away.

[Husar]

You could also ask until what age you'd have to get a girlfriend to be a lame duck like everyone else. ~;)

[Fisherking]

Don't worry. When I was your age I couldn't talk to women. Then again, that was because I was hiding in their wardrobes, masturbating. Would have completely given it away.


are we to assume that now you are out of the closet? :laugh4:

[Centurion1]

4) Put sledge hammer down (For some reason women get scared when a guy with a giant hammer approaches them.)

speak for yourself.

ZING!

anyway i didnt have a girlfriend until i was trapped this winter. This doesn't mean anything to me because....... success was simply had in other ways before. Obviously success is never as constant as it is with a girlfriend but more rewarding in its own way as well.

[Sarmatian]

If past 40, bald and fat, you may want to start frequenting gay bars.

Gay men have standards, too.

Better, if past 40, bald and fat, get a dog, rinse and repeat every decade or so...

[Cute Wolf]

I start to wonder, should Warman get a little more time outside his computers? come on...

[A Nerd]

I had a dream last night that I was looking at internet porn. It was probably because of warman and this thread.

[Subotan]

If you're feeling insecure about your manhood, it's too late.

[Hax]

I start to wonder, should Warman get a little more time outside his computers? come on...

Weren't you the guy that posted something about how porn collections interfered with spirituality, eh?

[Cute Wolf]

Weren't you the guy that posted something about how porn collections interfered with spirituality, eh?

yep, having get rid of most of porn.... well... most... not all... spirit is willing but the flesh is weak...

duh....

[Samurai Waki]

As an example, every summer (as of yesterday in fact) I completely wipe my hard drive clean of all games. I'm not good with my addictions, so I take a break and do other things while the weather permits. Hang up your jacket and tie and take the summer off. Computer games will be waiting for wetter, colder days.

[Sarmatian]

I had a dream last night that I was looking at internet porn. It was probably because of warman and this thread.

No kidding!? Same here, except it wasn't a dream in my case.

[Fragony]

Oh man, if I had a dollar for every time i'd made that mistake... :sweatdrop:

Stupid indeed, the correct protocol is using a club before you drag them into your cave.

INTERESTING: before the agricultural revolution women looked for men BLAM chick ad door tihiii hi

[edyzmedieval]

Stupid indeed, the correct protocol is using a club before you drag them into your cave.

INTERESTING: before the agricultural revolution women looked for men BLAM chick ad door tihiii hi

You outdated conqueror!

We use chloroform these days, works faster. ~;)

[naut]

My favourite pick up line is: "Can you hold my beer for me, I have to go take a dump." If she says yes, she's a keeper.

[Prussian to the Iron]

I never thought I'd hear a mod say he was in a closet masturbating. I officially love this thread.

[Cute Wolf]

well, Warman, if you desperately need ladies, I'd suggest you spare $50 and go to Church, give the alms to the poor, and pray until God answers your prayer. A good idea as well to go to temporary retreat at monastery.

*. Maybe God will give 2, 12, or 20 years from now, but at least you'll learn to be a better man

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

I had a dream last night that I was looking at internet porn. It was probably because of warman and this thread.

:laugh: :laugh:

[Rhyfelwyr]

Don't be optimistic when it comes to girls.

[naut]

Don't be optimistic when it comes to girls.
"Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness." Be optimistic, because it'll come across in your body language. You'll seem confident and thus more likely to succeed.

Seems all I do these days is give advice about girls and post in the drunkards thread. I'm gonna die way too young, aren't I?

[Motep]

"Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness." Be optimistic, because it'll come across in your body language. You'll seem confident and thus more likely to succeed.

Seems all I do these days is give advice about girls and post in the drunkards thread. I'm gonna die way too young, aren't I?

At this rate, I believe so.

[Rhyfelwyr]

"Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness." Be optimistic, because it'll come across in your body language. You'll seem confident and thus more likely to succeed.

Seems all I do these days is give advice about girls and post in the drunkards thread. I'm gonna die way too young, aren't I?

But if you are optimistic you may get the wrong idea.

Well all I seem to do is post in girl threads, I can't handle the Backroom any more. :embarassed:

[Cute Wolf]

well, this lady laugh for you warman... laugh for you...
https://i1021.photobucket.com/albums/af335/Oalahsonson/n1071138324_142329_6038.jpg

P.S: She's evil packed in the form of girl, run for your lives!!!! :laugh4:

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Don't be optimistic when it comes to girls.

Indeed, just be pragmatic when dealing with the ladies :yes:.

[Hax]

Don't be optimistic when it comes to girls.

But..when was the last time you had a girlfriend? \O_o/

[Subotan]

Indeed, just be pragmatic when dealing with the ladies :yes:.

...Because you would know?

[Rhyfelwyr]

But..when was the last time you had a girlfriend? \O_o/

Never, I used to be very, very antisocial... and a bit crazy. :mad:

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

...Because you would know?

To a certain extent. :mad:


Never, I used to be very, very antisocial... and a bit crazy. :mad:


Kinda like how I was. :laugh4:

[Sarmatian]

well, Warman, if you desperately need ladies, I'd suggest you spare $50 and go to Church, give the alms to the poor, and pray until God answers your prayer. A good idea as well to go to temporary retreat at monastery.

*. Maybe God will give 2, 12, or 20 years from now, but at least you'll learn to be a better man

You can also take those 50$ and go to a different institution and get a girl right away :D

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

The Netherlands. :laugh4:

[Drunk Clown]

The Netherlands. :laugh4:

Not for $50, we have higher standards than your country.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

And still a high chance for getting a STD :laugh:.

[Prussian to the Iron]

Hey, off-topic here, but I could not let this slide.

I am presently in a German class, and noticed just now that the title of the thread is "Das Ladies". Now, I assume by saying 'Das', you mean to say "The Ladies". However, the German translation for 'lady/woman' is 'Frau'. Frau is a feminine noun. Therefore, the title of the thread should be "Die Ladies".


Yes it bugged me enough that I had to say something.

[Husar]

Hey, off-topic here, but I could not let this slide.

I am presently in a German class, and noticed just now that the title of the thread is "Das Ladies". Now, I assume by saying 'Das', you mean to say "The Ladies". However, the German translation for 'lady/woman' is 'Frau'. Frau is a feminine noun. Therefore, the title of the thread should be "Die Ladies".


Yes it bugged me enough that I had to say something.

It didn't bug me enough, it serves them right. ~;)

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Hey, off-topic here, but I could not let this slide.

I am presently in a German class, and noticed just now that the title of the thread is "Das Ladies". Now, I assume by saying 'Das', you mean to say "The Ladies". However, the German translation for 'lady/woman' is 'Frau'. Frau is a feminine noun. Therefore, the title of the thread should be "Die Ladies".


Yes it bugged me enough that I had to say something.

Have to remember that :clown:.

[Thunder Mist]

Just be careful, okay? A ridiculous amount of teenagers these days are getting pregnant. Hell, it's such a widespread occurrence that they're even making television shows on the topic. How I managed to get through that whole mess without an accident along these lines is my blessing. Consider yourself lucky, Elite, and remember: nothing excuses carelessness.

[A Nerd]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0janfcZ8LUw

[Fragony]

Just be careful, okay? A ridiculous amount of teenagers these days are getting pregnant. Hell, it's such a widespread occurrence that they're even making television shows on the topic. How I managed to get through that whole mess without an accident along these lines is my blessing. Consider yourself lucky, Elite, and remember: nothing excuses carelessness.

Sure it does; 'sorry'

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Just be careful, okay? A ridiculous amount of teenagers these days are getting pregnant. Hell, it's such a widespread occurrence that they're even making television shows on the topic. How I managed to get through that whole mess without an accident along these lines is my blessing. Consider yourself lucky, Elite, and remember: nothing excuses carelessness.

It's called, use a rubber or don't have sex. :laugh4::laugh4:


Sure it does; 'sorry'

:laugh4::laugh4:

[Cute Wolf]

that money are better to be used on pork pies

[Peasant Phill]

Hey, off-topic here, but I could not let this slide.

I am presently in a German class, and noticed just now that the title of the thread is "Das Ladies". Now, I assume by saying 'Das', you mean to say "The Ladies". However, the German translation for 'lady/woman' is 'Frau'. Frau is a feminine noun. Therefore, the title of the thread should be "Die Ladies".


Yes it bugged me enough that I had to say something.

aus, bei, mit, nach, zeit, von, zu, ... man it has been a while since I practised my German.

Oh and dry humping is always a viable (yet perhaps sad) solution.

[Thunder Mist]

It's called, use a rubber or don't have sex. :laugh4::laugh4:


I understand your scorn, but it's a frightening reality. Condoms alone are not infallible and, at the very least, I would suggest you look into its various weaknesses before using them. Question everything, because ignorance is a vice. :smile:

[Drunk Clown]

aus, bei, mit, nach, seit, von, zu, ... man it has been a while since I practised my German.

Oh and dry humping is always a viable (yet perhaps sad) solution.

lulz... zeit.

[Prussian to the Iron]

I understand your scorn, but it's a frightening reality. Condoms alone are not infallible and, at the very least, I would suggest you look into its various weaknesses before using them. Question everything, because ignorance is a vice. :smile:

handies and bj's bro. handies and bj's.

[Beskar]

well, this lady laugh for you warman... laugh for you...
https://i1021.photobucket.com/albums/af335/Oalahsonson/n1071138324_142329_6038.jpg

P.S: She's evil packed in the form of girl, run for your lives!!!! :laugh4:

But it is you....

[Thunder Mist]

handies and bj's bro. handies and bj's.

That can be true, although I never found those actions to be sexually satisfactory. We must have different sets of priorities, I suppose.

[Fragony]

Hey, off-topic here, but I could not let this slide.

I am presently in a German class, and noticed just now that the title of the thread is "Das Ladies". Now, I assume by saying 'Das', you mean to say "The Ladies". However, the German translation for 'lady/woman' is 'Frau'. Frau is a feminine noun. Therefore, the title of the thread should be "Die Ladies".


Yes it bugged me enough that I had to say something.

Das butt

[Cute Wolf]

But it is you....

no, it's my twin sister actually, I'm just being a bit mad with her dat time, since she used up all my money and doing nothing but freeloading in my house everyday, emptying my foodstock!... :furious: :clown:

P.S. : my hair is longer

EDIT AGAIN : Warman can have her if he want...

EDIT AGAIN Mk II : Just reminding, if she start get irritated, there will be an instant nuclear winter with sudden explosion lurking... I wish she get married soon so I can get free of her bickerings.

EDIT AGAIN MKIII : And in that pic, she was on her "normal (idiot)" mode, her face will become demon-like if the nuclear winter mode are on, you won't be able to stare at her at all...

NOTE : I hope she won't open our computer and find this post, I don't want to spend all day dodging brooms, books, and occasional slippers that are bound to happen once she read this again...

[Drunk Clown]

handies and bj's bro. handies and bj's.

You can scrap bj's..

[Centurion1]

handies and bj's bro. handies and bj's.

Those get boring. Sex is what nature designed us for not assisted masturbation.

[Skullheadhq]

Warman can have her if he want...

mail order bride? :wink: