The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread [Archive]

TinCow

06-07-2011, 18:23

Unfortunately, our automated tournament system does not allow for more than 8 players in a double elimination tournament, and we have 9. Thus, a bit of intelligence is required to fix this problem. Since all the other competitors have difficulty just remembering to breathe, I have put my towering intellect to work on this problem and come up with the following solution. An off-site bracket system has been used to generate the starting bracket, which is as follows:
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/images/tanukibracket.jpg

The bracket was generated randomly, and the match-up of phonicsmonkey v Andres is because fate hates them. It has nothing to do with the fact that phonicsmonkey himself caused this problem by signing up late, and that I hate Andres and wish him great pain and suffering.

Once the following matches have been played, we will input the results into the Tanuki Tournament Bracket on the forum utility (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/tournaments.php?do=view&id=25) and conduct the rest of the tournament in the automated bracket itself:
A) phonicsmonkey v Andres
D) issaikhaan v Monk
Loser of A v Loser of D

You may now all worship me for fixing yet another problem caused by the Org Staff, without any help whatsoever. Honestly, I think they would probably drown in their own spittal within a week if I wasn't here.

AggonyKing

06-07-2011, 18:30

should seriously get live casts of these games :P and the winner should play against a seasoned MP vet <_<

GeneralHankerchief

06-07-2011, 19:09

https://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n231/GeneralHankerchief/meanwhile-in-finland.jpg

Kagemusha attempts to psych himself up before his match against GH. Of course, we all know that it's all for nothing.

Nigel

06-07-2011, 19:20

ahhhh..... Why was I borne so late.....

I could have given you "Nigel's notorious nonsense" or something similar.

Oh, well, as always this should be great fun to watch. :clown:

P.S. I really would like to know how therother pronounces his name.....

Kagemusha

06-07-2011, 19:29

https://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e238/StupidMoniker/MeanwhileInNewJersey.jpg

GH and his boys are too busy to prepare for the coming annihilation and utter whooping they are surely going to receive. Poor lads!

GeneralHankerchief

06-07-2011, 19:35

...not fair. :stare: :laugh4:

Kagemusha

06-07-2011, 19:53

Well there you go::grin2:

https://img809.imageshack.us/img809/9198/vintagehandkerchiefnewj.jpg

Andres

06-07-2011, 20:22

https://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t2/AndresTheCunning/TheLaw.jpg

P.S. I really would like to know how therother pronounces his name.....

It's pronounced "the rotten". He eats too much mexican food.

Where's that phonicsmonkey? Where is he? Come over here so that I can destroy you!

I have played 2 (TWO) MP games already and so I can call myself a veteran. I lost those two games on purpose! Now, I'm here for some SERIOUZZZ BUSINEZZZZZ.

The monkey must die :boxing:

therother

06-07-2011, 20:34

P.S. I really would like to know how therother pronounces his name..... With a mild, geographically indistinct Scottish accent...

Or you could go here.

frogbeastegg

06-07-2011, 21:01

If a gallant knight emerges on the field I may deign to bestow a scarf for him to wear as a mark of my favour. If this happens that champion is required to win and anyone getting in the way will be discreetly hairpinned. :hairpin2:

Should no suitable champion emerge, I shall graciously sit on the sidelines and throw peanuts. :loads peanut catapult:

Kagemusha

06-07-2011, 21:10

Well that magnificent cow made of tin decided to call me "girly man", so i dont mind loosing rest of my limbs defending the honour of your froggyness. :viking:

TinCow

06-07-2011, 21:26

Well that magnificent cow made of tin decided to call me "girly man", so i dont mind loosing rest of my limbs defending the honour of your froggyness. :viking:

She asked for a gallant knight, not a flouncy maiden who faints when she hears a disagreeable word.

https://img8.imageshack.us/img8/2425/4857712253acec53df2o.jpg

therother

06-07-2011, 21:33

She asked for a gallant knight, not a flouncy maiden who faints when she hears a disagreeable word.Guess that rules out all shysters then...
1308

TinCow

06-07-2011, 21:47

Guess that rules out all shysters then...
1308

On the contrary, sir, disagreeable words are my weapons! Also, weapons are also my weapons.

https://img824.imageshack.us/img824/5092/isay.jpg

phonicsmonkey

06-07-2011, 22:29

Where's that phonicsmonkey? Where is he? Come over here so that I can destroy you!

The monkey must die :boxing:

https://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa181/phonicsmonkeytw/badass.jpg

Kagemusha

06-07-2011, 22:35

She asked for a gallant knight, not a flouncy maiden who faints when she hears a disagreeable word.

https://img8.imageshack.us/img8/2425/4857712253acec53df2o.jpg

She can hang your metallic cowhead on her wall once im done with you, while i think Greg "the Dragon" will take care of you so i dont get the pleasure.Maybe we can use your head as a bucket at camel stables so there is some use for it!:viking:

TinCow

06-08-2011, 00:14

AggonyKing

06-08-2011, 00:45

ouch :D don't you guys want at least a 5 minute lesson? <_<

I'm grabbing popcorn for this :laugh4:

phonicsmonkey

06-08-2011, 01:04

ouch :D don't you guys want at least a 5 minute lesson? <_<

No, that would spoil the fun!

Monk

06-08-2011, 01:11

EXIT STAGE LEFT.

EXIT STAGE RIGHT.

THERE IS NO PLACE TO RUN! ALL THE FUSES IN THE EXIT SIGNS HAVE BEEN BURNT OUT. AND THERE'S ONLY ONE STRAIGHT AND NARROW PATH TO THE NEXT BRACKET, AND IT DEALS WITH PAIN AND DESTRUCTION

YOU, ISSAIKHAN, WILL FEEL THAT PAIN, FEEL THAT DESTRUCTION WHEN WE PLAY. AND I WILL, TAKE VICTORY FOR MYSELF, TAKE IT TO PARTS UNKNOWN. LOAD THE SPACESHIP WITH THE ROCKET FUEL. LOAD IT WITH THE WORDS. BECAUSE AFTER WE PLAY: VICTORY WILL. BE. MINE.

https://i.imgur.com/1n1Jo.gif

seireikhaan

06-08-2011, 04:19

My dearest Monk, it seems you have lost your way
The longest night shall by comparison pale
When finished, I will make your arrogance pay
Your soldiers shall be slaughtered and you shall fail.

Ashurnasirpal II

06-08-2011, 04:31

You guys are mods? This place is better then a nuthouse filled with dwarves and monkeys. That's on fire. In the middle of a plain filled with camel-ridding mongooses. And I do mean this literally!

This thing hasn't even started yet and I'm hooked!

Gregoshi

06-08-2011, 04:52

[false bravado]This is pointless. I'm doomed. TinCow even knows it - he's already smack talking with Kage on the other end of the bracket. I'm just a splash screen for his next round.:shame:[/false bravado]

You will be crushed TinCoward!! Crushed! Doom! Doom is upon you! A crushing doom! Crushing and dooming is in your future! And woe! I can't forget woe! A woeing, crushing doom of hopelessness awaits you! Ooooo, hopelessness too! Woe, Crushing, Doom and Hopelessness are the Four Horsemen of your Apocalyptic Fate. Muhahahaha!

Okay, so I can't talk smack either. :shrug:

phonicsmonkey

06-08-2011, 05:30

You guys are mods? This place is better then a nuthouse filled with dwarves and monkeys.

Are you talking smack about me and Andres?

Ashurnasirpal II

06-08-2011, 06:58

Are you talking smack about me and Andres?

LOL! Possibly, then again, I don't know you guys so maybe it's more the camel-ridding mongooses :rolleyes:

Andres

06-08-2011, 08:04

Are you talking smack about me and Andres?

No, only about you, you weakling midget monkey. I will crush you under my heels and you will be grateful that I don't do anything worse with you!

phonicsmonkey

06-08-2011, 08:27

https://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa181/phonicsmonkeytw/angry-monkey-739979.jpg

Kagemusha

06-08-2011, 08:59

For spectators, we have done an informal survey of our gaming experience. Here is a complete list of all the TW MP battles each of us had ever played before this Tournament started:

Andres: 2
issaikhaan: 4
GeneralHankerchief: 2
Gregoshi: 0 (from MTW to TWS2, he played a few in STW)
Kagemusha: 2
Monk: ?
phonicsmonkey: 0 (but has played several drop-in games as part of the Mod v Mod MP Campaign (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?134456-Mod-vs.-Mod-A-TWS2-Deathmatch))
TinCow: 2
therother: 0

Lies!Lies! Yesterday evening i crushed twice the armies of Andres! I crushed them all! Burned their villages! Drowned his warriors in lakes and rivers and even sacrificied his pet poodle to the God Of War Hachiman! There is no stopping me anymore!

Andres

06-08-2011, 09:05

Lies!Lies! Yesterday evening i crushed twice the armies of Andres! I crushed them all! Burned their villages! Drowned his warriors in lakes and rivers and even sacrificied his pet poodle to the God Of War Hachiman! There is no stopping me anymore!

First of all, I lost on purpose. It's part of my devious plans to win this tournament. I feel safe revealing my secret plans out in the open, because, senile as you all are, you probably already forgot the last sentence you just read.

Secondly, we played on the rice fields map, there are rivers nor lakes on that map. You were probably drunk again and worshipped your toilet on your knees after the game. The only things you drowned was your half digested meal.

Thirdly, I do not have a pet poodle :stare:

Kagemusha

06-08-2011, 09:10

Thirdly, I do not have a pet poodle :stare:

No you dont.Not anymore! And yes there were rivers!Rivers of Beer and Vodka!Refreshng my armies, tired of running around chopping off limbs and heads of your routing rabble!:charge:

GeneralHankerchief

06-08-2011, 11:33

I'd double-check those rivers if I were you. I know I spiked one of them with Heineken.

TinCow

06-08-2011, 12:06

Okay, so I can't talk smack either. :shrug:

There, there. All men except me have inadequacies; it's okay to admit them. This is a common problem amongst men your age. Sometimes it is medically related, and sometimes psychological. Either way, it can be treated. You are not alone. In fact, I am almost certain that several other Tanuki Tournaments competitors suffer from many inadequacies of their own. For example, I have it on good authority that Monk has a third ear that is located on his butt, while 'khaan thinks people are intimidated by poetry. But we must not hold these things against them. They cannot help being the horrible, disgusting creatures that they are. We must instead accept them for what they are and help them overcome their baser natures by beating them repeatedly and viciously. And by viciously, I mean serious, mentally scarring defeats. Defeats that will be so devastating to their souls that it instantly changes their entire lives, and forces them to abandon all that they had previously held to be good and holy. After they have been broken down to the mental equivalent of amniotic goo, they can then slowly attempt to rebuild themselves. It will take them decades to recover, and they will never be fully human, but with sufficient effort and determination they might eventually be able to straighten their stooped backs, peer out through their single cataract-ridden eye, and see the beauty of the sun that shines on their betters. On that day, I will shed a single tear of joy for what they have gained.

drone

06-08-2011, 13:22

LOL! Possibly, then again, I don't know you guys so maybe it's more the camel-ridding mongooses :rolleyes:
I like this one, he has the right mindset. :yes:

Camels, camels, camels, camels, camels....
:thinking2:

Andres

06-08-2011, 13:30

I don't know what's worse. Seeing GH drinking his nasal mucus and calling it beer, Kage drawning in a river of Heineken and calling it beer, or TinCow.

phonicsmonkey

06-08-2011, 13:33

I don't know what's worse. Seeing GH drinking his nasal mucus and calling it beer, Kage drawning in a river of Heineken and calling it beer, or TinCow.

Quiet down before I beat your crippled drunken dwarf behind black and blue with my monkey hammer. And while you're at it, why don't you try moving to a country that has a functional government once a decade or so? Maybe then you'd be in a better time zone for me to fight you.

(Hey, do you think if we keep talking smack long enough we can avoid actually having to fight these battles?)

Andres

06-08-2011, 13:37

(Hey, do you think if we keep talking smack long enough we can avoid actually having to fight these battles?)

At the very least, nobody will pay attention to our actual performances...

Only losers need a government. Real men don't need no government. With my left thumb, I defeat whatever army your "functioning government" can throw at me. And to defeat you in an MP battle, I only need to blink with my right eyelid.

phonicsmonkey

06-08-2011, 13:41

Right, I warned you!

https://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa181/phonicsmonkeytw/images.jpg

Andres

06-08-2011, 14:15

https://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t2/AndresTheCunning/monkeydefeat.jpg

Kagemusha

06-08-2011, 15:50

I'd double-check those rivers if I were you. I know I spiked one of them with Heineken.

Such vile act can only be rectified with blood! This i could not have foreseen coming even from you.:sick2:

phonicsmonkey

06-09-2011, 00:47

https://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t2/AndresTheCunning/monkeydefeat.jpg

I should have known better than to pick a fight with a content manager.

phonicsmonkey

06-09-2011, 00:48

EDIT: double post

Major Robert Dump

06-09-2011, 06:54

Fear Gregoshi. He killt my Donkey

phonicsmonkey

06-10-2011, 00:35

For spectators, we have done an informal survey of our gaming experience. Here is a complete list of all the TW MP battles each of us had ever played before this Tournament started:

Andres: 2
issaikhaan: 4
GeneralHankerchief: 2
Gregoshi: 0 (from MTW to TWS2, he played a few in STW)
Kagemusha: 2
Monk: ?
phonicsmonkey: 0 (but has played several drop-in games as part of the Mod v Mod MP Campaign (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?134456-Mod-vs.-Mod-A-TWS2-Deathmatch))
TinCow: 2
therother: 0

In the interests of full disclosure I should reveal that I played a practice match against GH yesterday and triumphed gloriously.

Fear me, belgian dwarf!

TinCow

06-10-2011, 01:20

In the interests of full disclosure I should reveal that I played a practice match against GH yesterday and triumphed gloriously.

Fear me, belgian dwarf!

Only pansies need practice, as that means you're not already the best. :stare:

phonicsmonkey

06-10-2011, 01:34

Only pansies need practice, as that means you're not already the best. :stare:

We'll see about that...

Andres

06-10-2011, 09:34

*** reads everything about exploits, cheating and dirty tricks honorable players aren't supposed to use ***

:book:

phonicsmonkey

06-10-2011, 11:02

Very noble of you to read all that to ensure you don't accidentally use any of it against me!

frogbeastegg

06-10-2011, 11:05

I went and got a new kimono for this event so you'd better make it worthwhile. :hairpin2:

Looking at that list of player experience I don't think my peanut catapult is adequate. :starts browsing a catalogue of peanut cannons, looking for a nice model which combines rapid fire with high accuracy:

Aren't you people meant to be killing each other or something? Let me guess - you didn't read the instructions before assembling your armies and now all the heads are on backwards and half of them have arms instead of legs? :sigh: Typical. Men!

Andres

06-10-2011, 11:17

Very noble of you to read all that to ensure you don't accidentally use any of it against me!

But of course. I will also NOT try to bribe my opponents with a free Ikko-Ikki DLC to lose on purpose.

TinCow

06-10-2011, 11:47

Aren't you people meant to be killing each other or something?

Some of us (me) are civilized. Gregoshi and I have agreed that he will die on Sunday. That way he can have one final weekend to say goodbye to his loved ones. It is only polite.

phonicsmonkey

06-10-2011, 13:19

But of course. I will also NOT try to bribe my opponents with a free Ikko-Ikki DLC to lose on purpose.

I'll take that bribe!

And Froggy, the problem is that Andres' and my armies have been asleep when the other has been awake, and vice versa, if you follow my meaning.

But we are scheduled to clash on Saturday.

frogbeastegg

06-10-2011, 14:32

And Froggy, the problem is that Andres' and my armies have been asleep when the other has been awake, and vice versa, if you follow my meaning.
You mean the org only has enough rechargeable batteries for one set of soldiers? Terrible, what a state of affairs! We need to do a donation drive.

Yes, timezones, but that's not as fun ;p

Andres

06-10-2011, 14:42

I suggest phonicmonkey switches on his PC, hosts a battle with the ultra super secret password "Banana juice on Friday afternoon, but only during Summer and at beach volleyball happenings" and then goes to sleep. He'll probably perform better when sleeping then while being awake anyway.

I'll join the battle and will probably lose BEAT HIM AND REDUCE HIS ARMY TO A BLOODY PULP!!!

Nigel

06-10-2011, 17:06

You guys are awesome.

Make sure to save the replays for us all to wach.
It is a button that appears below the Victroy/Defeat splash screen immediately after the battle - just in case you have not found it yet during all your past MP battles :wink:

Monk

06-10-2011, 19:41

issaikhaan and I met on the field of battle today, best 2 of 3 to decide the winner. The result?

https://i.imgur.com/QhvZe.gif

issaikhaan defeated in games 1 and 2.

Replays to follow soon, I'll edit this post in two hours when they get done uploading. Even compressed fraps footage takes forever to get onto youtube. So check back soon and watch us flail around hilariously!

Marshall Louis-Nicolas Davout

06-10-2011, 20:00

http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198020295894

cAN i JOIN?>

AggonyKing

06-10-2011, 20:06

Replays to follow soon, I'll edit this post in two hours when they get done uploading. Even compressed fraps footage takes forever to get onto youtube. So check back soon and watch us flail around hilariously!can you post the actual replay files as well ^_^ not just videos

Monk

06-10-2011, 20:15

Sure ~:)

I'll attach them to this post, you should be able to download them that way.

TinCow

06-10-2011, 20:32

http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198020295894

cAN i JOIN?>

It's for Org Staff only, sorry. Regular members might accidentally take it seriously. :grin:

phonicsmonkey

06-10-2011, 23:49

AggonyKing

06-11-2011, 07:29

ggs Monk and issaikhaan :)

I would recommend to use classic mode in the future, that way you all have more units to make funny games with :D

Monk

06-11-2011, 08:00

ggs Monk and issaikhaan :)

I would recommend to use classic mode in the future, that way you all have more units to make funny games with :D

Probably a good idea. I logged in only to find that my avatar got reset somehow, so all I had availible was ashigaru, Light cav and bow samurai ~:(

Khann was a sport and agreed to play with similiar units.

phonicsmonkey

06-11-2011, 08:56

Monkey 2, Belgians 0

I'll upload the replays if anyone can tell me how to find them...

Andres

06-11-2011, 09:17

Congratulations, monkey :bow:

Saved the replays, if somebody could be so kind to explain how to make them available.

Monk

06-11-2011, 09:31

You can find saved replays in (win 7) C:\users\<username>\appdata\roaming\the creative assembly\shogun2\replays

Appdata is hidden so you may need to enable hidden files first. ~:)

phonicsmonkey

06-11-2011, 09:40

Here (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/local_links.php?action=jump&catid=205&id=9097) are the replays of our titanic struggle.

Visor

06-11-2011, 10:02

That's 1 for the Throne Room. Now go kill everyone else Phonics. :D

GeneralHankerchief

06-11-2011, 20:25

In news that surely is not of interest to anybody, Kagemusha has triumphed over GeneralHankerchief 2-0. The first battle was cut short due to connection issues, but it was mutually agreed upon that Kage had the upper hand and I conceded the game to him. For the second battle, we agreed on a daimyo-only duel that had... horrific results. Nicely played, Kage! :bow:

Replays (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/local_links.php?action=jump&catid=276&id=9100)

Kagemusha

06-11-2011, 20:40

Thank you for the games GH! :bow:It was indeed noble act to save the rest of your armies by sacrificing yourself and your retainers.~;) Now where is that Cow with his tinhead! No doubt training with the Aggony´s!:viking:

Gregoshi

06-12-2011, 01:52

Congratulations Kage. Since you have your heart set so badly to meet TinCudchewer, I guess I could let him "beat" me.

I am busy preparing by not preparing. I don't want my mind cluttered with pre-conceived notions as how the game is supposed to be played. I want my battle creativity to flow in the moment - using pure inspiration to achieve the acme of my skills.

TinCow

06-12-2011, 02:53

I am busy preparing by not preparing. I don't want my mind cluttered with pre-conceived notions as how the game is supposed to be played. I want my battle creativity to flow in the moment - using pure inspiration to achieve the acme of my skills.

Your strategy is inferior. I am preparing by playing The Witcher 2. I can now kill dozens of men with but a single soldier. Imagine what I will be able to accomplish with an entire army!

phonicsmonkey

06-12-2011, 06:11

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo0baknLDdU&feature=player_detailpage#t=76s

TinCow

06-12-2011, 20:53

Gregoshi's humor was no defense against the might of the cow! He falls 3-1 in a best of 5 series. All were classic battles. Rules were as follows:

Battle 1) Regular classic
Battle 2) Artillery duel - 8 mangonels each
Battle 3) Ninja Madness - All ninjas, with night, rain, and fog
Battle 4) All gunpowder - All units must be matchlocks, bomb throwers, rockets, or cannons. Max 2 cannons per player.

Replays here (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/local_links.php?action=jump&catid=276&id=9101). I highly recommend watching the ninja battle, it was awesome.

TinCow

06-12-2011, 20:55

Also, once Andres and Monk play, I can put all this on the real bracket.

Kagemusha

06-12-2011, 21:07

Did you loose an eye in the match or why your face is covered in blood?Or just too much single malt last night eh?:smart:

TinCow

06-12-2011, 21:22

Did you loose an eye in the match or why your face is covered in blood?Or just too much single malt last night eh?:smart:

That is blood! The blood of my enemies! Or it would be if I had enemies. Which I don't. Because everyone likes me. So, I guess it's really the blood of my friends.

Gregoshi

06-12-2011, 21:24

I highly recommend watching the ninja battle, it was awesome.
It always helps to understand that ninjas have a "stealth" ability, which I didn't until near the end when it was too late. BTW, my ninjas did not think it was "awesome", though as a theme battle, pajamas, stealth, night, rain and fog are hard to beat - and see.

I still don't understand how I won the artillery duel as I don't think I figured out how to get my mongonels to fire for the first minute or two. Or, if they did fire, I didn't see it - all I saw was incoming fire.

Nigel

06-12-2011, 21:41

I highly recommend watching the ninja battle, it was awesome.

If if is worth watching - be it for awesomeness or just plain fun - would you consider making a video of it ?

TinCow

06-12-2011, 21:45

If if is worth watching - be it for awesomeness or just plain fun - would you consider making a video of it ?

I'll see what I can do.

phonicsmonkey

06-12-2011, 23:01

I would recommend to use classic mode in the future, that way you all have more units to make funny games with :D

Excuse me for being a n00b, but how do you select classic mode?

TinCow

06-12-2011, 23:41

Excuse me for being a n00b, but how do you select classic mode?

IIRC, there's a check-box for classic battles just below the 'host' button.

Here's a commentary video of the ninja battle. Sorry about the sound effects drowning out my voice, didn't realize the flash bombs would be so loud while I was recording. I'll adjust sound effects in the future if I do another one of these:
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/media.php?do=details&mid=87

Monk

06-12-2011, 23:54

Also, once Andres and Monk play, I can put all this on the real bracket.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but:

Once the following matches have been played, we will input the results into the Tanuki Tournament Bracket on the forum utility and conduct the rest of the tournament in the automated bracket itself:
A) phonicsmonkey v Andres
D) issaikhaan v Monk
Loser of A v Loser of D

I didn't lose. I won 2-0 in a best of 3. You're looking for Issaikhann. ~:)

TinCow

06-13-2011, 00:03

Sorry, misread the results post. You are correct, it's Andres v 'khaan that needs to be fought so that I can put the rest on the bracket.

Monk

06-13-2011, 00:11

Haha, yeah that's right. There's no escape from what coming for you TinCow. If you listen real close, you can hear it. The rumble on the ground and the screaming in the air. Can ya hear it? The pain train's a-coming, TC and you're laying right on the tracks.

Gregoshi

06-13-2011, 00:41

phonicsmonkey

06-13-2011, 00:54

the "there is no other" rother and I will be fighting on tuesday because he was too scared to fight me monday

I am sharpening my monkey hammer in preparation

therother

06-13-2011, 00:59

Ha, I gave you an extra day to live as you started blubbering about feeding babies!

phonicsmonkey

06-13-2011, 01:10

No, I threatened to feed your babies....to Tincow! I knew you weren't listening...

therother

06-13-2011, 01:50

Ah, that would indeed make more sense. Difficult to follow your high-pitched, girly wailing though.

TinCow

06-13-2011, 01:59

No, I threatened to feed your babies....to Tincow! I knew you weren't listening...

Mmm... babies.

phonicsmonkey

06-13-2011, 01:59

Ah, that would indeed make more sense. Difficult to follow your high-pitched, girly wailing though.

You mean my blood-curdling monkey shrieks? Evidently you were too scared to follow what I was saying. It's understandable...

therother

06-13-2011, 02:16

Hmm, yes, I was so scared that I fell about the place laughing. Odd reaction but, as you say, very understandable.

Gregoshi

06-13-2011, 03:29

Ladies, stop your endless yakking. Your talk is like your weapons - dull. :laugh4:

phonicsmonkey

06-13-2011, 04:02

Quiet loser! You're just mad because your ninjas were lit up like Christmas trees..

Gregoshi

06-13-2011, 07:14

Quiet loser! You're just mad because your ninjas were lit up like Christmas trees..
Beautiful, wasn't it?

phonicsmonkey

06-13-2011, 08:13

Beautiful, wasn't it?

'Twas!

Kagemusha

06-13-2011, 09:57

That video was prizeless! I hope we could see one from the artillery duel as well.

frogbeastegg

06-13-2011, 11:37

Tincow has a voice!? How unexpected. :inquisitive:

A firework display. Humph. I have seen better ones - no pretty coloured lights, and timing explosions to music has been standard here for a decade - but I suppose it was a passable effort and one should not expect too much from you ... people. :froggy fans herself and waits for the next act to arrive:

You may upload more videos in order to save me the onerous chore of watching them in-game. Load times are a waste of my precious time; someone else should endure them for me.

GeneralHankerchief

06-13-2011, 12:03

Out of curiosity, how would we go about recording/uploading commentary if we wanted to do so?

I would know this, but I spent all of my time, uh, practicing. Yeah, that's it.

Nigel

06-13-2011, 15:27

Here's a commentary video of the ninja battle. Sorry about the sound effects drowning out my voice, didn't realize the flash bombs would be so loud while I was recording. I'll adjust sound effects in the future if I do another one of these:
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/media.php?do=details&mid=87

A great video, TinCow - excellent.

I love the way you also demonstrate your superiour knowledge of the Japanese culture and language:

Singular: Ninja; Plural: Ninjae

For "Ninja", as the educated people know, is obviously an old word of Latin origin and it is clear what the plural should be. :grin:

Gregoshi

06-13-2011, 15:39

For "Ninja", as the educated people know...
:no: Ninjcompoops.

AggonyKing

06-13-2011, 17:17

Out of curiosity, how would we go about recording/uploading commentary if we wanted to do so?

I would know this, but I spent all of my time, uh, practicing. Yeah, that's it.here's a brief guide that explains the overall process ^_^

https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?134668-Battle-Replay-Video-Upload-Tutorial

Andres

06-13-2011, 22:51

I sent the cowardly coward 'khaan one entire pm, yet he apparently refuses to answer. Probably because he is a cowardly coward who is also a coward.

Andres

06-14-2011, 10:51

I will meet 'khaan on the battlefield probably Wednesday or Thursday evening.

He admitted he is a coward and he begged me to bribe him and to play only loser loses games, which I refused, of course. Apparently, the weakling feeds his peasants every week. Bah. I've told my peasants that the strong should start eating the weak, so that only über elite peasants will appear on the battlefield on my side.

I wish my opponent no luck at all, a failing internet connection for the entire week so that he has to give forfait and a very painful headache which causes his eyes to hurt so that he hardly sees his screen when fighting me. I also wish myself good luck and many heroic victories.

therother

06-14-2011, 12:26

After 3 battles of wonderful ineptitude, truly fulfilling the tournament spirit of "no skills, no rules, no honour", including a long discussion about how we couldn't move our cannons in a cannon fight and a fair bit of underhand cheating on my part, I have silenced the monkey's mewing 2-1. Who's next? :boxing:

phonicsmonkey

06-14-2011, 12:32

Here are the replays (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/local_links.php?action=jump&catid=205&id=9105) so everyone can see how you disgraced the org by bringing ninja to a rocket fight! The smuggled illicit ninja won the first fight for therother.

Then in the second battle (which was to be cannons and cavalry) we realised quickly that cannon cannot be moved. Luckily I brought more horses to that fight which won the day for me. My smuggled illicit ninja didn't get in on the action...

In the third deciding fight, a naval battle, my admiral was perplexed at how ineffective his strategy of sailing upwind into direct cannon fire turned out to be...

This is not the end for the monkey - I will retreat to my cave, make sacrifices to my dark gods and sharpen my monkey hammer in preparation for my inevitable glory against Generalhankerchief...

Gregoshi

06-14-2011, 14:55

No illicit ninjas in the naval battle? Disappointing. :no:

therother

06-14-2011, 15:04

You mean you didn't see them on the island?

Kagemusha

06-14-2011, 16:17

Who's next? :boxing:

That would be me!:viking:The reign of terror of Tech admins will stop here and now! Like beacons off light i and the mighty Monk, shall cast you back to the darkness that is the boiler rooms under the Camel Stables! No more shall VB code pollute the air filled with sweet scent of Org´s toilets! As superior beings we are.We CONTENT MANAGER´S will contain the evil that has taken the form of terotherotherrr and Cow tinhead who hides behind glasssess after too much single malt! Let the contamination begin!!!

therother

06-14-2011, 16:50

Are you a Content Manager???

Kagemusha

06-14-2011, 16:56

You boiler room demon, you!Your VB spells, will do little once ive trambled you back to the boiler room you belong!:gorgeous:

therother

06-14-2011, 17:01

What to you think TinCow? Should we let him off?

Nice pic btw.

Kagemusha

06-14-2011, 17:04

Only place you can off me is the battlefield! I read from the innerds of Greg that fall of tech admins is near! There is no stopping me anymore!:gorgeous:

TinCow

06-14-2011, 17:15

What to you think TinCow? Should we let him off?

Nice pic btw.

He looks rather fetching in pink. Matches his eyes.

Kagemusha

06-14-2011, 17:20

Says mister im covering my old booze stinking mouth and my red eyes with sunglasses!:bounce: Pink is beautifull! Something you underground creatures would not know about!:smitten:

Gregoshi

06-14-2011, 18:23

...I read from the innerds of Greg that fall of tech admins is near!
That's a lot of "innerds"...emphasis on "nerd".

Csargo

06-14-2011, 19:31

IIRC, there's a check-box for classic battles just below the 'host' button.

Here's a commentary video of the ninja battle. Sorry about the sound effects drowning out my voice, didn't realize the flash bombs would be so loud while I was recording. I'll adjust sound effects in the future if I do another one of these:
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/media.php?do=details&mid=87

This was great. I was laughing throughout.

Nigel

06-14-2011, 20:25

That would be me!:viking:The reign of terror of Tech admins will stop here and now! Like beacons off light i and the mighty Monk, shall cast you back to the darkness that is the boiler rooms under the Camel Stables! No more shall VB code pollute the air filled with sweet scent of Org´s toilets! As superior beings we are.We CONTENT MANAGER´S will contain the evil that has taken the form of terotherotherrr and Cow tinhead who hides behind glasssess after too much single malt! Let the contamination begin!!!

... hmmm, do I see a theme for the next org staff tournament coming up?
Content Manages vs. Tech Admins vs. Moderators ?

The only problem would be that we Content Managers are so dependent on the Tech Admins to get all our crazy ideas actually to work.....

Kagemusha

06-14-2011, 20:30

... hmmm, do I see a theme for the next org staff tournament coming up?
Content Manages vs. Tech Admins vs. Moderators ?

The only problem would be that we Content Managers are so dependent on the Tech Admins to get all our crazy ideas actually to work.....

Do not worry.The tech admins will be soon enslaved. Chained down to the boiler room where they belong.:pleased:

GeneralHankerchief

06-14-2011, 20:32

Do not worry.The tech admins will be soon enslaved. Chained down to the boiler room where they belong.:pleased:

Wait, you mean they're not there already? Darn it, guys, who let them out again??!?! You know they're not allowed to see sunlight - it gives them ideas.

Kagemusha

06-14-2011, 20:35

Wait, you mean they're not there already? Darn it, guys, who let them out again??!?! You know they're not allowed to see sunlight - it gives them ideas.

Just look at me and talk about them and their ideas! :P

TinCow

06-14-2011, 21:00

Just look at me and talk about them and their ideas! :P

Hey, don't blame me for your new hue, that was therother. I would have just deleted you.

Kagemusha

06-14-2011, 21:01

Its unfortunate that Monk is going to delete you on the battlefield, so i dont get that pleasure!

therother

06-14-2011, 21:09

Sheesh, the thanks I get for small mercies...

Kagemusha

06-14-2011, 21:31

You are just making it worse for yourself.Once ive crushed your puny tech borg armies. This time you will only get diet Coke once a year in your "work place". Your reign of terror is about to end.Enjoy it while it last´s.:sunny:

AggonyKing

06-14-2011, 23:26

Content Manages vs. Tech Admins vs. Moderators ?
I can predict who would win already :laugh4:

would be fun to do though hehe, maybe sc2 style. Have different teams and do player elimination, the team whose all players are eliminated loses :balloon2:

Gregoshi

06-15-2011, 01:12

Be at peace Kage. theothertechcow are only doing this because it is the only thing they CAN do to you - you won't be beaten on the battlefield by them. Oh, and sorry about the mess on your shoes.
...

phonicsmonkey

06-15-2011, 01:18

Wait, you mean they're not there already? Darn it, guys, who let them out again??!?! You know they're not allowed to see sunlight - it gives them ideas.

Erm, that might have been my fault. I let therotter out of the boiler room because he said he couldn't load TWS2 on the amstrad CPC 464 we allow them in there. Something about cassettes not being available...

Andres

06-15-2011, 10:01

Kage's restyled profile says more about therother than about Kage, I think.

I think it's safe to assume that therother secretly plays with My Little Pony while calling himself "Princess Cuddly Huggy Bear", wearing a pink dress, a curly blond wig and waving around a little plastic stick with a yellow, blinking star on it.

therother

06-15-2011, 14:47

That's some very specific imagery there Andrex. I'm guessing these are your experiences you are projecting onto me? :grin2:

Naturally, I only restyled Kage's profile because he was bored with it and thought it needed sprucing up to reflect his more creative, feminine side. Sure enough, Kage seems delighted by the results. I think you are just jealous. :laugh4:

:croc:

Kagemusha

06-15-2011, 18:04

Allright, allright! I have dressed back my cowl and donned into my armour. Atleast now you can all appreciate what beautifull flower i am inside all this gear!

Kagemusha

06-15-2011, 20:06

After two epic slaughters armies of Kage and therother camped for the night with one defeat suffered by both sides. Tomorrow morning the the epic third battle will commense once both sides are sober enough to fight! Attached the two replays.First one was classic with 14k where we slaughtered our armies almost to a man. Still therother´s Takeda was clearly the better one. The second was all melee. In that one Kage reigned supreme, while therother gave up after some serious slaughter.

phonicsmonkey

06-16-2011, 01:07

Go Kage!

frogbeastegg

06-16-2011, 12:36

You need to post an updated bracket. How else is a frog meant to choose a winner see who is still eligible to be her champion?

phonicsmonkey

06-16-2011, 13:23

You need to post an updated bracket.

I believe we are waiting for Andres vs khaaaaaaaaaaan before TC can load the bracket

TinCow

06-16-2011, 13:31

I believe we are waiting for Andres vs khaaaaaaaaaaan before TC can load the bracket

Yep. Once that match is fought, everything will go onto the automated system. I suppose I could do another manual bracket to show the current standings before then, but that smacks of effort. Only losers try. Winners (like me) succeed through pure talent, we don't even care.

frogbeastegg

06-16-2011, 13:47

TinCow

06-16-2011, 13:58

Do you think I care about petty trivialities like reality and information? Or that I trouble myself keeping track of how many games are left to be played? My convenience is all that matters - you people are supposed to do all of that for me. :pleased:

And who stole the animated princess smiley? I demand to know! It had a fluttering veil and I haven't used it in years, now it's gone. The current, not animated version is ugly. Honestly, here I am doing my best to graciously preside over your little battlefield nonsense and you keep on making things difficult. A less dedicated soul would give up.

Why should I help you, you're not even rooting for me! My fans will receive all the blessing the Gods can provide in this mortal realm, but my critics will be forced to drink their own blood until they drown! I am not cruel, though, if anyone prefers I will permit the drowning to be done with chocolate milk instead.

frogbeastegg

06-16-2011, 14:15

I am not supporting anyone. Since you failed to arrange more ladies to sit in the fancy big box and wave handkerchiefs, I am more than a little overworked! :points to fancy mechanical contraption which waves a series of silk handkerchiefs: You would not allow me to borrow the hamster which powers the server so I have to pedal it myself!

"Froggy, you'll be treated like a princess," you said. "Everyone will fight in your honour," you said. "It will be fun," you said. "You can sit in the big fancy VIP only box," you said. "You'll have the best view and lots of tasty snacks and cool drinks provided by waiters," you said. "There will even be a big pile of books for you to read in the dull moments," you said. "You will be the grand lady of the org," you said. "You'll bring a sense of chivalric magic to the entire event," you said. Lies - nothing but lies! Here I am, stuck in a box with no books, no food, no company, arranging for handkerchiefs to wave and being oh so very gracious in the face of terrible strain. And I had to buy my own kimono!

Next time I don my armour and kill you all until you are dead. :blankg:

Nigel

06-16-2011, 19:16

Greetings Froggy,

....arrange more ladies to sit in the fancy big box and wave handkerchiefs....

Did you, by any chance, slightly misinterpret the time (by a few hundred years) and location (by a few thousand miles)?
Here, let me take away your handkercief and present you this fan.

I do compliment you on your new kimono, though. An excellent piece of silk art.
While we wait for the next match to happen, allow me, in the absence of books (what are books?), to entertain you with my skills in calligraphy.

:stupido:

Kagemusha

06-16-2011, 19:24

GeneralHankerchief

06-16-2011, 19:31

Truly, this Tech Admin virus must be stopped. Does the rest of the noble .Org staff not have a champion that can save all of us from their round-the-clock bragging?

therother

06-16-2011, 19:43

We played two battles: the first was aborted due to extreme lag. Both battles were gunpowder only, although of course ninjae were allowed! :7ninja:

Mushy's cannons and firerockets fought bravely, but were overrun by my samurai matchlock spam. In the meantime, there was a fun ninja battle in the 2nd replay.

Replays: 1331

frogbeastegg

06-16-2011, 19:44

Did you, by any chance, slightly misinterpret the time (by a few hundred years) and location (by a few thousand miles)?
Don't be time-period-ist, this is a multi-period forum. I'm wearing a Japanese kimono, the box is medieval, and the books should be Roman and Greek translations - if they'd been delivered, which they have not. The peanut cannon covers the gunpowder era.

I shall accept your offer of calligraphy, however. It's bound to be more entertaining than the so-called battles. :bow:

(what are books?):
The essential sustenance of a frog! A single day without access to a book will leave a frog demoralised, worn down, wilted, and depressed. Two days and symptoms expand to include restlessness, mental anxiety, and a feeling of deep soul-based hunger. Three days and ... well, most tragic. A correct amphibian living environment includes copious bookshelves, all well stocked.

TinCow

06-16-2011, 19:46

Aaaarghhh! Terrible trashing happened and my armies lie dead after night battle with terotero. From now on you can call me The .......... of therother.He will provide with replay as even my field photographers were slayed.:stwshame:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahaha....
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSxElPfkIBZcjpPYe4yhkNS5iEzVO_UkriU52_3mkladYMaMfwJjg&t=1

Andres

06-16-2011, 20:24

I have decided that my greatness is too great for this tournament. Indeed, since you are all unworthy of even being my enemies, I have, complelety, voluntarily and of course on purpose lost from 'khaans' cowardly tactics 2-0...

Kagemusha

06-16-2011, 20:43

TinCow

06-16-2011, 20:50

Alright, with the Andres/khaan match resolved, the automated bracket will take care of the rest. The bracket can be seen here:
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/tournaments.php?do=view&id=25

I think I've set it up properly, but let me know if you see any errors.

Andres

06-16-2011, 20:53

Replays of 'khaan vs Andres (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/local_links.php?action=jump&catid=276&id=9121)

phonicsmonkey

06-17-2011, 00:05

I think I've set it up properly, but let me know if you see any errors.

All I need to know is how many broken corpses I have to clamber over until I can get my bony simian hands around teh rotter's neck...

TinCow

06-17-2011, 18:50

Monk is now Nun! TinCow triumphs yet again, with a 2-0 victory despite Nun's attempts to be tricky by sneaking in non-ninja assassins to kill my noble generals. He did not even have the courage to die like a man!

Replays (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/local_links.php?action=jump&catid=276&id=9125)

It is now official, every single Moderator and Content Manager has lost. The only undefeated players remaining are Tech Admins. ALL GLORY TO THE TECH ADMINS!

Monk

06-17-2011, 21:06

Yeah you got me, but I take solace in the knowledge that the generals who led your forces DIED HORRIBLE TERRIBLE DEATHS.

Ahem.

:book2:

phonicsmonkey

06-17-2011, 23:02

ALL GLORY TO THE TECH ADMINS!

Legend has it that when the tech admins meet each other in the next match their great dishonour will bring so much shame upon the world that the heavens themselves will rebel and slay both of them.

GeneralHankerchief

06-18-2011, 00:23

In a bout of trickery, the monkey has triumphed 2-0 over me, first sabotaging my guns in a naval battle so they wouldn't fire and secondly overcoming my ninja ambush in a standard classic battle. Well played, monkey, well played indeed.

Replays (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/local_links.php?action=jump&catid=276&id=9126)

ANDRES!!! You and I are the first two eliminated from this tournament. If you are man enough, I hereby challenge you to a last-place match here and now or whenever is a convenient time for both of us!!! Let the winner regain some of his shattered honor, and let the loser forever be known as the single worst player of Total War: Shogun 2 on the entire staff. That is, if you're not a big fat chicken. :charge:

Gregoshi

06-20-2011, 06:43

The guards outside Gregoshi's headquarters scrunched their noses as the smell of urine wafted out the doorway. "Again?!", they thought, "His Lordship must have gotten news of an impending battle." Everytime Lord Gregoshi received news of the enemy approaching within 100 miles, he and his "retainers" (they retained very little) would wet themselves...which was actually preferable to their response when in battle. The guards hated being posted to the headquarters because of this. "Latrine duty" is what they called it in the barracks. In fact, they also took to referring to the latrine as the "head", which was short for "headquarters". This is the little known origin of the military term. "Changing of the guards" as also originates from Gregoshi, referring to the guards helping to change Gregoshi's soiled armour.

Battle was indeed impending. June 20th at 18:00 GMT Lord Sissykhaan and Lord Greg-GoGo-goshi will meet on the battlefield. It will be a messy affair and Gregoshi fully expects to commit seppoopoo. Stand upwind and plug your noses so you only have to see how badly we stink at this...and when I say "we", I mean "I".

<sigh> I never get to digest anything on the campaign trail...

phonicsmonkey

06-20-2011, 06:54

Gregoshi

06-20-2011, 08:09

Aha, the old 'reverse smack talk' trick
No tricks. I'm not that clever and when I try to be, I lack the skills to pull them off. I've got pathetic track record in STW/MTW and my first round match with TC to back up the above urinalysis of my prospects.

phonicsmonkey

06-20-2011, 08:50

GeneralHankerchief

06-20-2011, 10:59

No tricks. I'm not that clever and when I try to be, I lack the skills to pull them off. I've got pathetic track record in STW/MTW and my first round match with TC to back up the above urinalysis of my prospects.

My challenge stands for whichever one of you two loses. We'll see if you can back up your reverse smack-talk against a true champion of suckitude. :charge:

Gregoshi

06-20-2011, 20:40

'khaan and I met on the field of battle and he emerged victorious 3-0. Battles included a classic rout, an all-rocket rout and a ninja/night/fog rout. We had to re-do the ninja rout because he didn't know how to increase the rank of his units so my army of rank 5+ ninjas trounced his rank 1 ninjas. After explaining how to increase the unit rank, we re-fought the battle and achieved the expected result. My surviving ninjas are trying out for the track team tomorrow.

Congratulations 'khaan and good luck in your re-match(!!!) with Monk. :bow:

phonicsmonkey

06-21-2011, 00:06

Hmmm, looks like some form on the other side of the losers' draw. I'll have to keep a close eye on the 'khaan vs Monk match.

But first I have to defeat the Flying Finn.

He had to go to Ikea yesterday so we couldn't fight but maybe tonight will work better unless he is up to his neck in wooden dowels and multitudinous screws of different sizes....

frogbeastegg

06-21-2011, 10:21

You can have my head as apology for this great insolence, if someone can find it from the field. Its bloody dark there still. Maybe terotero can give it to you next morning?:undecided:
:froggy is informed her servants have finished sewing Kagemusha's body back together: Ah ha! Now we should be able to tell which of the millions of tiny giblets make up the head!

:froggy goes to view the completed work.:

:inquisitive:

I don't think he looked like that. I mean, I hate to nitpick but I'm pretty sure he did not have a leg made up out of a splintered spear shaft, and really there shouldn't be fingers in the place of ears. :no:

Ok, time for a new approach. Blend the entire corpse down into gravy and then pour it into a human-shaped mould. Then we cut the head off that when the mixture has firmed.

If that doesn't work, bury the whole lot. And make sure a nice marker is put over the site so we don't get a restless ghost! :stare:

phonicsmonkey

06-22-2011, 14:55

Beaten 2-1 by Kage...I can barely contain my despair.

Replays (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/local_links.php?action=jump&catid=205&id=9152)

Monkey out.

Kagemusha

06-22-2011, 14:56

Thank you froggy Sama!Apparently the stiching and re moulding helped. The monkey forces of phonics were won in tight fought series, which ended to Kage 2-1 EDIT: The honourable Phonics beat me to it. Great games. I think it was the worse player though who won the series.I took a terrible beating in that field battle.

TinCow

06-22-2011, 19:51

I think it was the worse player though who won the series.I took a terrible beating in that field battle.

:stare: That looks oddly like a polite compliment to the simian. There is no place for that kind of conduct in this tournament. I would say I was disappointed in your behavior Kage, but it honestly doesn't surprise me. You're lucky you haven't been banned yet. Fortunately, nice guys finish last. Or, in your case, either third or fourth.

Kagemusha

06-22-2011, 20:38

:stare: That looks oddly like a polite compliment to the simian. There is no place for that kind of conduct in this tournament. I would say I was disappointed in your behavior Kage, but it honestly doesn't surprise me. You're lucky you haven't been banned yet. Fortunately, nice guys finish last. Or, in your case, either third or fourth.

Maybe something went wrong when they put me back together from pieces? That sure does not sound like something that would come out from my mouth.:shocked2:

Gregoshi

06-22-2011, 21:36

If they start singing "Kumbaya", I'm outta here...er, physically and tournamentally I'm already out, but you know what I mean.
...

phonicsmonkey

06-23-2011, 02:14

So, I return from my monkey sulk to discover that my victorious enemy, not content with merely humiliating me on the field of battle, has decided to compound the insult further by complimenting me?

Aargh!

frogbeastegg

06-23-2011, 11:01

Apparently the stiching and re moulding helped.
:idea:

:foggy sets up a kiosk and places a sign nearby. "froggy's patented re-moulding, statistically proven* to improve your battlefield abilities! For a small** charge you too can stride across the fields like Lu Bu! Inquire now!
*100% of clients report success!
**Negotiable, finance agreements available when acceptable collateral is provided. Acceptable collateral includes items such as houses, first born children, and the client's own limbs.

Nigel

06-23-2011, 12:49

Froggy's patented re-moulding, statistically proven

hmmm, maybe that is a service I could use.
So far I have merely relied on my field surgeon to stitch me back together after my multiple defeats on the different TW battlefields (all time-periods included).

Now, where are my glasses to read the small print....

phonicsmonkey

06-28-2011, 00:31

huh, just as I thought.

There's no party once the monkey leaves...

Gregoshi

06-28-2011, 15:09

There's no party once the monkey leaves...
Apparently so. Personally, I think the others see Kage has advanced to round 4 and they are all scared into inaction - they want to advance but not if it is to eventually face the pink and re-formed Kage. :yes:

TinCow

06-28-2011, 17:14

the other rother and I are waiting on the losers to catch up before we play. Once the losers have determined who is the least pathetic amongst them, the Tech Admins will determine which of us will have the glory of thrashing them in the loser semi-finals prior to the Tech Admin final re-match.

Kagemusha

07-02-2011, 23:28

As far as i understand it is double elimination and we still need one looser from the original players?Or is there some code prohibiting the tech borgs from fighting each other? :P

TinCow

07-02-2011, 23:37

As far as i understand it is double elimination and we still need one looser from the original players?Or is there some code prohibiting the tech borgs from fighting each other? :P

We can fight each other, but Monk and khaan need to get moving on the loser bracket as well. They need to fight, and then the winner fights you, and then the winner of that fight will have the honor of losing to one of the Tech Admins.

Andres

07-06-2011, 12:51

ANDRES!!! You and I are the first two eliminated from this tournament. If you are man enough, I hereby challenge you to a last-place match here and now or whenever is a convenient time for both of us!!! Let the winner regain some of his shattered honor, and let the loser forever be known as the single worst player of Total War: Shogun 2 on the entire staff. That is, if you're not a big fat chicken. :charge:

Ok, I finally found a way to put the broken pieces of my body back together in something that resembles a human body.

No, that foot belongs on my neck. I'm not clusmy, I intended it to be that way. Allthough having my head under my left leg seems a bit inconvenient...

I'm ready to win the last place of this tournament and to become the uncrowned champion of the .Org staff and the rest of the universe, excluding McDonald's; the rest of the .Org staff can form the MacDonald's government, for my amusement; I hereby already appoint TinCow and GeneralHankerchief as Secretaries of Big Mac affairs :knight:

GeneralHankerchief

07-10-2011, 05:10

Ha! Ha! Hahahahahahahaha! You have already lost! For while you were putting the broken pieces of your body back together and having numerous and intense fantasies regarding .Org Staff and fast food, I was busy not practicing at all, thus keeping my reputation up! You will lose for sure!

Gregoshi

07-10-2011, 06:20

You will lose for sure!
I'm confused. By "lose" do you mean "win" which means you lose...but then you win... :wall:

GeneralHankerchief

07-10-2011, 06:35

:smartass2:

All part of the plan.

Gregoshi

07-10-2011, 20:18

:smartass2:

All part of the plan.
So, do you want to lose to win or win to lose?

Andres

07-10-2011, 20:25

So, do you want to lose to win or win to lose?

It doesn't matter. I AM THE .ORG STAFF CHAMPION AND THE REST OF YOU ARE ALL MAGGOTS!

Gregoshi

07-10-2011, 20:32

"Champion of All Maggotry" doesn't sound like a very impressive title.

GeneralHankerchief

07-10-2011, 21:28

So, do you want to lose to win or win to lose?

Yes.

AggonyKing

07-31-2011, 17:45

so who won? <_<

TinCow

08-21-2011, 01:14

Wait... wait... what is this? A game has actually been played! Two of them, actually, and The Magnificent TinCow won both. The first was a siege battle where TinCow was attacking and therother was defending. therother was largely humiliated by my supreme abilities to screw up his pathfinding. I rock, unfortunately we both forgot to save that replay, so you will have to use your imagination to witness my glory. therother did not want to do another siege battle, so battle 2 was instead a good old fashioned field battle. therother most treacherously took the Hattori and used them to vaporize my archers with his hidden units when I wasn't paying any attention. Fortunately, it didn't matter and I crush him anyway like the bug he is. Here (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/local_links.php?action=jump&catid=276&id=9429) is the replay of my stupendous victory.

I look forward to defeating The Slightly Less Magnificent therother a second time, after he thrashes the non-Tech Admin staff.

Andres

10-14-2011, 08:54

I declare myself the winner of this tournament!

I am the greatest!

AggonyKing

10-14-2011, 23:00

hmm you can be the official winner...if you catch my hint *cough* deliver the money bag *cough* >_>

TinCow

10-24-2011, 14:57

Hmm... it does appear as though the only appropriate thing to do is make everyone else forfeit and declare myself the winner.

Gregoshi

10-24-2011, 16:53

Multiple claims to the title...such a dilemma. :idea: Hey, why don't we hold a tournament to decide the winner? :laugh4:

therother

10-24-2011, 16:55

Great idea! :idea2:

Now why didn't you mention that before?!

Nigel

10-24-2011, 20:37

Or you could just do it like they did in the Middle Ages and live with the chism for a few hundred years, having a winner in Rome and an antiwinner in Avignon.

TinCow

10-24-2011, 21:11

Or you could just do it like they did in the Middle Ages and live with the chism for a few hundred years, having a winner in Rome and an antiwinner in Avignon.

That's fine with me. I can be both winner and antiwinner at the same time. I am that awesome.

Andres

11-07-2011, 13:53

That's fine with me. I can be both winner and antiwinner at the same time. I am that awesome.

Me too! So we're both awesome, but because I come before you in the alphabet, I'm the most awesomest of awesome awesome champions and thing.

Gregoshi

11-07-2011, 14:09

So, is "tanuki" Japanese for "talk"? :laugh4:

TinCow

11-07-2011, 14:51

I am going to use my arbitrary powers of awesomeness to declare that if no battle is fought by the end of next weekend, I will declare myself the ultimate victor and close the tournament. However, I will not abuse my authority. Everyone who has not already lost a battle can vote on this proposed course of action.