View Full Version : Today, I was rather violently accosted by a rather intriguing gentleman
I would like to inform you of a certain situation that has transpired today on the premises of my university here in the Netherlands: I was accosted quite agressively, nearly to the point of violently, by a certain gentleman who is currently also enrolled at our university. (http://deavonturenvanimar.tumblr.com/post/49889342442/i-was-accosted-quite-agressively-by-an-intriguing)
Dear ORG, please forgive the rather prosaic style which was the result of an evening shared with a bottle of Glenfiddich. However, when I was writing this particular piece of information I was reminded of the "when is violence justified thread", and so I decided to crosspost this here.
Basically, there are certain things I'm wondering about, and seeing how I hold almost all of you in high esteem, I assumed that you would be able to assist me:
1) Is it surprising that this happened at a university? Should I be surprised? Is it simply another aspect of growing up?
2) When does a person decide that a violent approach makes sense? How does this actually work?
3) What should I do? I have already collected information about whom I can contact within the framework of the university? Would taking legal action make any sense?
I'm seriously never in these kinds of situations, so what do I actually do? Gah?!
EDIT: Dear Lord, it seems that my stuff got copied incorrectly. Let me try some stuff.
EDIT II: Can't seem to get it right. Will link to my blog.
EDIT III: It is now a link.
johnhughthom
05-08-2013, 00:34
I do wonder if the intriguing gentleman thought you were mocking him? Perhaps what you thought to be a reasoned argument came across as you making fun of him, certainly the way you describe the situation makes me think that is a possibility. If someone takes something as personally as he appeared, often there is little that you can say that will make him see your side of the debate.
In no way am I saying that you behaved badly, but sometimes the only way to handle a situation is to tell someone to go away unpleasantly.
I'd suppose so, but I didn't use the exact same style of speech as I did when writing it down. Did I mention I asked him to actually sit down and talk about it.
Additionally, would mockery warrant a violent response?
johnhughthom
05-08-2013, 00:49
I'd suppose so, but I didn't use the exact same style of speech as I did when writing it down. Did I mention I asked him to actually sit down and talk about it.
That's the thing that grabs me, you seem to think a university is apart from the rest of the world. To me, as much as educating a university should prepare someone for the outside world, and the fact is, there are people out there who don't want to sit down and talk about it, their opinion is correct, and nothing you say will dissuade them. By continuing to treat the situation like a classroom debate, you probably angered the intriguing gentleman more.
Additionally, would mockery warrant a violent response?
Of course it shouldn't, but it did. And you probably should have seen it coming.
As for how I would handle it from here? Forget about it, move on and learn from it. There is a time for debate, a time to shut up and a time to take it outside.
HopAlongBunny
05-08-2013, 02:23
I think you handled yourself well.
Sometimes you will meet individuals who simply want the violence. Obliging them might turn out well, but it sounds more like this person was going for a "double win".
You take the bait=>beat the snot out of him=>he goes to administration and pulls a "poor me" routine=>you get flayed. Or he beats the snot out of you, and you get no backing from admin; I would hazard to bet he's done it before...
So Hurray! You did not take the bait :) Often the best move when drinking.
Vladimir
05-08-2013, 05:18
Dirty Arabs?
Seriously though, some people are conditioned to think that some actions of offenses demand a violent reaction. You can't change that but you can look for indicators and deal with them.
Fisherking
05-08-2013, 05:35
It sounds to me that you have already lost the contest.
Obviously you were politically incorrect, or seen so by the person you reported the incident to.
To them, you were insensitive, and likely a bigot, simply because the guy says he was offended.
It will be interesting to see if you can find anyone in the administration who thinks you were within you rights and the individual was being a jerk. Good Luck.
Muhahaha Hax you racist you
Complete and utter lack of negotiation skills. ~;)
It seems completely pointless either way, I say live and let him live in his own magic world of biased happiness.
Thanks for all your responses.
@<a href="https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/member.php?u=26454" target="_blank">jht</a>: I suppose that's where our opinions diverge, then. To be fair, I feel that the environment within the boundaries of an academy is per definitio. one of debate and discussion and I don't feel that its primary purpose is to prepare people for day-to-day life, especially within the Dutch context, where most students generally don't live on campus.
@<a href="https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/member.php?u=3655" target="_blank">HopAlongBunny</a>: yeah, that's pretty much what I was thinking to, although it's worth noting that at the moment that this ruffian encroached upon my personal space I was completely sober. Besides, if I would have hit him back, I'd pretty much lose whatever moral highground I had.
@<a href="https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/member.php?u=10953" target="_blank">Fisherking</a>: Right you are. What happened to "sticks and stones may break my bones"? I'll get to that.
@<a href="https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/member.php?u=3193" target="_blank">Fragony</a>/Husar: Yes.
Actually, the plot thickens. I was walking from my home to the university when my supervisor phoned me and asked me to come into her office: apparently, the two supervisors (one for the BA and the other for the MA track) had read my blog and asked for clarification. They asked me to describe precisely what had occured, and they fully agreed that the action that our fellow undertook was completely out of line, stressing the point that within the university, you ought to be able to feel safe and secure and to have the possibility to express whatever opinion. They also filed a formal complaint and directed it to those responsible for handling cases of undesirable behaviour, so that's that.
This is completely useless, what you really need is a gun for self-defense so you can shoot the guy in the back when he runs away with your lunch.
Rhyfelwyr
05-08-2013, 12:18
Well, he doesn't seem like much of a gentleman at all! :snob:
Seriously though, I am always cautious of dealing with authorities, and the initial reaction they gave towards you is why.
Still, I'm glad that it appears that they realise this guy was in the wrong. But I don't think you should pursue things too far, it doesn't seem the sort of incident worth anyone getting in a whole lot of trouble for. He might be an alright guy who took things the wrong way, maybe he has been the victim of racism in the past and took a bit of a knee-jerk reaction.
Authorities generally don't do anything, unfortunately, as they are mostly hand-tied with what they can do.
He might be an alright guy who took things the wrong way, maybe he has been the victim of racism in the past and took a bit of a knee-jerk reaction.
No, he was clearly a bully looking for trouble. A victim generally might get upset, might mention something then walk away and at first this might have the case as he failed to understand the crux of the discussion. However, from the rest, you can see how the gentleman was clearly sizing the group up, he was trying to examine their reactions and like a predatory animal wanted to use raw physical strength to make himself feel powerful. I do know what Hax looks like and he is no stone cold Steve Austin, anyone who wants to try to get him into a street brawl is clearly trying to pick for an easy target.
Sarmatian
05-08-2013, 14:45
There was several of you and he was alone. Why didn't you beat the poop out of him?
But, you decided to take it up to the people in the offices. You certainly made their day. If they take you seriously, that means a lot more work for them, potentially bad rep for the university, blah, blah, blah... The easiest thing for them is to just drop it with "no harm done" mantra. When you've already chosen this route, don't stop and continue to pester them demanding action.
Next time, beat the poop out of him.
Ironside
05-08-2013, 15:45
No, he was clearly a bully looking for trouble. A victim generally might get upset, might mention something then walk away and at first this might have the case as he failed to understand the crux of the discussion. However, from the rest, you can see how the gentleman was clearly sizing the group up, he was trying to examine their reactions and like a predatory animal wanted to use raw physical strength to make himself feel powerful. I do know what Hax looks like and he is no stone cold Steve Austin, anyone who wants to try to get him into a street brawl is clearly trying to pick for an easy target.
It could be subconcious (probably is), but yeah anyone who is avoiding an actual debate for trying to start a beating instead is certainly acting like a bully.
Authorities generally don't do anything, unfortunately, as they are mostly hand-tied with what they can do.
They do get a bit less limitations if there's a pattern at least. So if this is standard behavior for our intriguing gentleman, then they can have better enforcement than a few stern words.
HopAlongBunny
05-08-2013, 16:37
Sounds to me like you won. With Uni personnel involved the event is swallowed by the system. Having it advanced by your supervisor keeps it all nicely bureaucratically correct and can be dealt with internally; much to their relief.
Let it "work out" on its own and move on :)
Strike For The South
05-08-2013, 20:08
Establish your own unilateral solution and break his nose.
Major Robert Dump
05-08-2013, 20:42
Trying to pursue the matter further is pointless. If he belongs to what the university views as a "minority" or "protected" or "vulnerable" group, then short of murder or grievous assault he can do no wrong, and in the case he does do wrong, then it is a result of him being oppressed for so long. It is impossible for racial or ethnic or religious minorities to be racist, Chris Matthews says so. You lose.
Sarmatian
05-08-2013, 21:04
Trying to pursue the matter further is pointless. If he belongs to what the university views as a "minority" or "protected" or "vulnerable" group, then short of murder or grievous assault he can do no wrong, and in the case he does do wrong, then it is a result of him being oppressed for so long. It is impossible for racial or ethnic or religious minorities to be racist, Chris Matthews says so. You lose.
Won't work. Both Hax and the guy are Arabs.
Papewaio
05-08-2013, 23:10
Won't work. Both Hax and the guy are Arabs.
Fifty shades of Arab. The litmus test for racism is a fairly low one based on the person feeling insulted. That we don't expect mature debate but a physical thrashing is a sad reflection on society.
That we expect that debate should be in Uni but not outside. It's a very materialistic view that a boundary of atoms should determine thinking over brawn.
=][=
Publicity, another form of perception management, gets more mileage then most other processes.
Philippus Flavius Homovallumus
05-09-2013, 02:12
I think you made a fundamental error when you described "Arab" as a matter of self-identification rather than an ethnicity, this was doubtless what offended your assailant.
Identity is a touchy subject when that identity is fairly "safe" and prosperous. We had this argument a few months ago about whether you're Dutch or not - turns out your mother is Dutch, so we agreed you definitely were.
What makes an Arab? Wheat makes an Englishman? a Frenchman?
Plenty of people will tell you blood (less so for the Frenchman) and arguing will like to get your teeth knocked out. You may be enlightened and post-ethnic, but you're a career academic, the thing to remember is that OUTSIDE our little fantasy world people don't care about having intelligent debates in the main, they care about food of the table, the price of petrol and who won the footie.
EDIT: Which is not to say that this man was at all justified.
Next time you meet someone like that, don't offer to debate with him because it will just wind him up more. Tell him you're sorry he's offended but you're not going to change your opinion. Use simple words and short sentences, not because he's stupid but because you're not showing off. If he wants to step outside tell him you're quite comfortable inside and don't fancy spending a night in the cells.
Because, lets face it, no good public fight ends before the police arrive.
Its a sign of the times that people have trouble figuring out how to respond to violence, or the threat of violence, or just an antagonizing person. Short Answer: Punch 'em in the throat. Long Answer: Punch 'em in the throat, if you can get away with it. Or you can take the high-road, because fighting usually isn't worth it, but taking the high road usually means you'll have to keep taking the high road. :shrug:
Chin is better, INSTANT KNOCKOUT
Chin is better, INSTANT KNOCKOUT
Strike two.
Break their nose. Painful, eyes will tear up and vision will go to hell, not as easy to breathe, etc. Break nose and run.
Edit:
HAGGSE
All those spots hurt your hand. If your victim doesn't see it coming, go for the throat. It's the comfy punch.
Kinda dangerous, they don't ought to drop permanently. Best way to avoid trouble, a slap with your palm moving upwards.
http://www.google.nl/search?hl=nl&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&q=human+anatomy&oq=human+a&gs_l=img.1.0.0l10.2047.5443.0.7750.7.7.0.0.0.0.76.368.7.7.0...0.0...1ac.1.12.img.tjGYYyQKYkw&biw=1024&bih=644&sei=CkuLUbG5Na770gX7xoC4DA#biv=i%7C0%3Bd%7C8rPTp1VeWf8stM%3A
Where it says musscle is the sweet-spot, it will hit like a brick. He will absolutely fall and think you are Hercules incarnated. Try it, palm of hand right there, slightly upwards. Needs some practise.
What if the other guy runs to the authorities with a bunch of witnesses then and Hax gets punished or even expelled?
Worth it?
What if the other guy runs to the authorities with a bunch of witnesses then and Hax gets punished or even expelled?
Worth it?
Hax being punished worth it? Always ;)
Fisherking
05-09-2013, 10:41
Hax did just fine. There was no reason to escalate the tense state. That happens after the other guy throws a punch, or a couple of punches. Once you meet force with force both of you are likely to be in trouble, in this day and age.
Punching someone in the throat is a quick way to jail.
Punching someone in the throat is a quick way to jail.
Rightly so, you can kill someone with that if their windpipe gets broken
Tellos Athenaios
05-09-2013, 13:38
In no way am I saying that you behaved badly, but sometimes the only way to handle a situation is to tell someone to go away unpleasantly.
Exactly. Reading between the lines, our intriguing gentleman was the equivalent of a Youtube Commentard. Utterly limited in perspective and convinced the world is full of ignorant people who ought to shut up or made to; they can see clearly how they are right and you are wrong, but when pressed for clarification have nothing to offer beyond your supposed ignorance. You may have some entertaining results in trying to argue with them, but it is not good sport. Additionally it will almost certainly ruin your meal in the process and it is not good manners towards your friends and fellow diners.
I base this diagnosis on the following symptoms:
Loudly intervenes in your discussion. Won't offer you an "excuse me", or any other indication of good manners.
Proceeds to inform you that you are wrong, misguided, stupid and ignorant.
Offers no argument to back up the previous assertion.
Is all offended.
In such a condition they are incapable of understanding the subtleties of Arab identity, the Qu'ran or anything more subtle than "get lost" which I base on the fact they have shown themselves utterly incapable of grasping the subtlety of common courtesy. If some 16 odd years of parenting failed to teach them to recognise and apply that basic skill in life, subtlety is not going to win you any debates with them in the near term.
Nice lesson to our Hax regardless heh, you know what they say, never be rude to an Arab. Monty Payton warned you. NEVER say that being Arab means nothing in the pressence of Arabs you couldn't have been more offensive, which I kinda like really
Major Robert Dump
05-09-2013, 18:55
Won't work. Both Hax and the guy are Arabs.
Doesn't matter. Hax has a different opinion than the coddled one. The coddled one wins by virtue of being coddled. It doesn't matter if Hax is correct
Sarmatian
05-09-2013, 21:06
Doesn't matter. Hax has a different opinion than the coddled one. The coddled one wins by virtue of being coddled. It doesn't matter if Hax is correct
Come on, it would complicate things beyond measure and give bureaucrats chance to earn their pay.
You're insulted because you're an Arab? But he's an Arab! Ok, wait, who insulted who for being an Arab? You're both insulted? Because you're Arabs? Well, you're half-Dutch. Does that make you less insulted or more insulted? Ok, is there an EU body I can pass this on to???
They'd end up on a loop, it would be wonderful to watch.
Ah, reminded me of a story my Slovakian friend told me about his father. When his father was younger, he'd be inclined to sing Serbian nationalistic songs when drunk. He'd sing them on the streets at night, and loud, no decency, really. A few times the police caught him cause, well, it was Yugoslavia and it was all that Brotherhood and Unity, Yugoslavian crap, and you weren't allowed to sing those songs... They'd bring him in to station, and start taking info.
What's your name?
And the cop writes it down.
Date of birth?
And the cop writes it down.
Nationality?
Slovakian
Slov...
At that point the cop throws the piece of paper in the rubbish, gets rather angry and says :Get out of here!!!
Ah, the beautiful and complicated world of ethnic relations...
HoreTore
05-10-2013, 23:29
So, Hax, at which point in time did you transform into an 18th century British gent, and when were you planning to tell us about this?
I decided I needed the prose to fit my character.
HopAlongBunny
05-11-2013, 00:16
Next time, just remember:
http://youtu.be/JK2hKzZss5Y
Kadagar_AV
05-11-2013, 14:37
The way I read it, Hax just have no clue how to deal with drunken idiots.
Drunken idiots will always exist, it's all what about how you handle them. Blame for the meal turning sour for the company at large is on Hax, who either clearly read the situation wrong, or was ill trained to deal with it.
So what do you propose I should have done. Evidently, seeing how you were born in glorious Sweden and get laid at least three times a day and drunk twice as many times, you're obviously more competent a person in handling these situations, oh Glory-Viking-of-Testosterone.
Oh, and it's "Hax just has no clue". Thank you.
Strike For The South
05-11-2013, 15:52
I do have a serious question.
What makes the university any different than other locations?
Does your tumblr mean you are a SJW?
Rhyfelwyr
05-11-2013, 16:12
I do have a serious question.
What makes the university any different than other locations?
Universities are supposed to be frequented by polite academia, not working-class ruffians.
If you offend somebody at a University, you might expect them to get upset and contact the authorities.
If you offend somebody at a pub in a rough area, you would expect a pint glass in your face.
What makes the university any different than other locations?
I think I explained that in the first posts. In my opinion, the central role a university plays is to be a location for debate, discussion, and research in any form. I expect people to be civil.
Does your tumblr mean you are a SJW?
I had to google that.
No, my physique is not combat-ready.
EDIT:
overly in defense of whatever the popular beliefs portray as the greater victim of discrimination
THE INTERNET IS CONFUSING
Greyblades
05-11-2013, 17:11
Yes it very much is.
So, Hax, at which point in time did you transform into an 18th century British gent, and when were you planning to tell us about this?
I think the question, good sir, is when the rest of you are planning to join us in this epitome of good culture? :P
Kadagar_AV
05-11-2013, 17:32
So what do you propose I should have done. Evidently, seeing how you were born in glorious Sweden and get laid at least three times a day and drunk twice as many times, you're obviously more competent a person in handling these situations, oh Glory-Viking-of-Testosterone.
Oh, and it's "Hax just has no clue". Thank you.
Well, the way I read what you wrote, here and on the blog, you do come off as trying to show off your intellectual superiority. Both in and after the situation.
And if you try to show off intellectual capability, you will eventually get smacked down by someone who doesnt quite appreciate it.
You come off as someone who is more interested in "winning" a debate, rather than listen in to your opponents ideas, or even taking your opponent in. This is a very common trait among university students with little world experience, but a lot on their reading lists.
Having spent a considerable amount of time in bars, on both sides of the counter, I can honestly say that I am rather apt at dismantling situations. Heck, I am absolutely not the biggest guy around (tall but not extremely muscular), and still even the biggest bouncer steps aside to let me do my thing.
You can get a long way with a smile, a friendly attitude, and a shitload of respect even for drunken idiots. Your problem seem to be, from what little I had read, that you were listening to what he was SAYING, not what he was MEANING.
Academical superiority only takes you so far in the real world, and sometimes academical types comes off as quite retarded when faced with real world problems, where logic doesn't necessarily dictate the terms.
The very vast majority of people picking a fight with me (has been quite some the last decade) have ended up buying me a shot, but then, I got beaten enough in high school to learn the difference between academical world and real world. I am sorry your country doesnt facilitate the same educational programs for your young and gifted :clown:
Well yes, that's what I meant with lack of negotiation skills.
The poor guy felt cornered and his aggression was just a cry for help because he was out of options.
You have a lot to learn Hax.
Well, the way I read what you wrote, here and on the blog, you do come off as trying to show off your intellectual superiority. Both in and after the situation.
And if you try to show off intellectual capability, you will eventually get smacked down by someone who doesnt quite appreciate it.
You come off as someone who is more interested in "winning" a debate, rather than listen in to your opponents ideas, or even taking your opponent in. This is a very common trait among university students with little world experience, but a lot on their reading lists.
Having spent a considerable amount of time in bars, on both sides of the counter, I can honestly say that I am rather apt at dismantling situations. Heck, I am absolutely not the biggest guy around (tall but not extremely muscular), and still even the biggest bouncer steps aside to let me do my thing.
You can get a long way with a smile, a friendly attitude, and a shitload of respect even for drunken idiots. Your problem seem to be, from what little I had read, that you were listening to what he was SAYING, not what he was MEANING.
Academical superiority only takes you so far in the real world, and sometimes academical types comes off as quite retarded when faced with real world problems, where logic doesn't necessarily dictate the terms.
The very vast majority of people picking a fight with me (has been quite some the last decade) have ended up buying me a shot, but then, I got beaten enough in high school to learn the difference between academical world and real world. I am sorry your country doesnt facilitate the same educational programs for your young and gifted :clown:
Okay.
Allow me to clarify: how I talk on the internet is not how I talk in daily life. I used this particular style of writing to elicit a humorous response in my readers. That's it. No motives of "superior intellect" or whatsoever: yes, there are people I dislike and I think myself better than them, but allow me to be very clear: I never do this with people I don't know.
Apart from that, I don't think it's fully justified to think of the academic environment as some sort of "ivory tower". While it might have been true in some cases, it generally doesn't work like that anymore, certainly not in the Netherlands, where students are generally housed within the cities rather than on campus. I personally pride myself on the fact that I know (and get along with) people from many different social and economical backgrounds.
To illustrate this with an example: about a year ago I was riding the train while reading an excerpt in Arabic, which came to the attention of three thuggish-looking Moroccans of about my age (golden teeth, baseball caps, the whole shabang). I spent the entire trip talking with them in an amicable tone about very different subjects, during which I tried to convince them (in vain, I might add) of the fact that Jews generally don't want to eat babies and control the world. They disagreed with me, I disagreed with them, but we parted on friendly terms and I felt that I might have done something that would enable to think more compassionately about their fellow monotheists. Or not, I don't really care. Either way, I think this demonstrates that I am fully capable of handling people with whom I would generally not start a conversation or keep as friends.
Kadagar_AV
05-11-2013, 19:27
Allow me to clarify: how I talk on the internet is not how I talk in daily life. I used this particular style of writing to elicit a humorous response in my readers. That's it. No motives of "superior intellect" or whatsoever: yes, there are people I dislike and I think myself better than them, but allow me to be very clear: I never do this with people I don't know.
Apart from that, I don't think it's fully justified to think of the academic environment as some sort of "ivory tower". While it might have been true in some cases, it generally doesn't work like that anymore, certainly not in the Netherlands, where students are generally housed within the cities rather than on campus. I personally pride myself on the fact that I know (and get along with) people from many different social and economical backgrounds.
To illustrate this with an example: about a year ago I was riding the train while reading an excerpt in Arabic, which came to the attention of three thuggish-looking Moroccans of about my age (golden teeth, baseball caps, the whole shabang). I spent the entire trip talking with them in an amicable tone about very different subjects, during which I tried to convince them (in vain, I might add) of the fact that Jews generally don't want to eat babies and control the world. They disagreed with me, I disagreed with them, but we parted on friendly terms and I felt that I might have done something that would enable to think more compassionately about their fellow monotheists. Or not, I don't really care. Either way, I think this demonstrates that I am fully capable of handling people with whom I would generally not start a conversation or keep as friends.
No.
That demonstrates that you handled one situation right. Maybe not "right", but at least neutrally. Who knows, someone else might have got to know the conductor on the train, and would have brought the guys and their weed to the staff lounge?
It also shows that you were thinking of it as a "situation".
What I am saying, is that you acted wrong.
Do NOT read that as you were BEING in the wrong, you were not, objectively.
However, subjectively from my perspective, and probably/possibly the perspective of your dinner friends, you could have dismantled the situation and done a WAY better job.
There are several ways of being in the right.
A hooligan with blood all over his face, having defended his winning team against some other stupid supporters claims, is in the right.
A university guy, totally dismantling his so/so gifted opponents claims while trying to be grandiose about it, is in the right.
But would you honestly want to be around them?
Then on the other hand, this guy who knows he is right... But know people well enough to back, back, back and back until he can see that their original (often primal) motive is gone... And then push, push, push, and push his agenda while they are on friendly terms.... And walks away having had a nice evening, AS WELL AS having changed someones mind...
Guess who the ladies would like a second date with?
For being so smart, you can be quite stupid at times.
Yes, it's all about sex!
Seriously though, I don't believe that there was really a wrong or a right way out of this situation in particular. It could've ended much, much worse.
Kadagar_AV
05-11-2013, 19:45
Yes, it's all about sex!
Seriously though, I don't believe that there was really a wrong or a right way out of this situation in particular. It could've ended much, much worse.
It's not all about sex. But a LOT about sex.
Then, of course, my understanding of your meaning of "sex" is rather as "male characteristics in a mix-gender environment".
And as to male characteristics in a mix-gender environment, you simply have a lot to learn before I, as a friend, would stop checking twice to make sure you weren't doing something stupid.
Strike For The South
05-11-2013, 19:52
People who think its only about sex are a god send to people who know its only about power
Sex is easy to get, one only needs to look at Kadagar
Kadagar_AV
05-11-2013, 20:00
People who think its only about sex are a god send to people who know its only about power
Sex is easy to get, one only needs to look at Kadagar
So what of the people without sex or power?
And as a side note: If a chubby Lewinsky is what power gets you... *golfclap*
Strike For The South
05-11-2013, 20:06
So what of the people without sex or power?
And as a side note: If a chubby Lewinsky is what power gets you... *golfclap*
I just tried to tell you it was all about power. All of it. People tend not to act alturistically
Kadagar_AV
05-11-2013, 20:16
I just tried to tell you it was all about power. All of it. People tend not to act alturistically
Hax posted about a problem he had. As a fellow Orgah I tried to enhance him by widening his scope of possibilities. I agree with what you say strike, but I get this feeling you are more out to argue me, than you are to help him. Tsk tsk tsk....
You're right in that I was the one to ask for advice, and you gave it to me (baby, uhuh, uhuh). So, honestly: thank you for that.
In all honesty, I do think I can be more patient with people with whom I vehemently disagree, as I don't really try to hide my contempt towards those people.
EDIT: That being said, I prefer not to live in an environment wherein every action is perceived and interpreted as being part of a larger sexual playground. I don't think it really works that way.
Kadagar_AV
05-11-2013, 21:38
You're right in that I was the one to ask for advice, and you gave it to me (baby, uhuh, uhuh). So, honestly: thank you for that.
In all honesty, I do think I can be more patient with people with whom I vehemently disagree, as I don't really try to hide my contempt towards those people.
EDIT: That being said, I prefer not to live in an environment wherein every action is perceived and interpreted as being part of a larger sexual playground. I don't think it really works that way.
Uh... I wasn't the one bringing this to sex (and neither were you).
With that said, I do bow to the fact that sex is an underlying background to the whole scenario. However, this question in specific can be dealt with without going to those muddy waters.
As to your bolded part.... Mate, you need to get over yourself. If uneducated people is a source of contempt for you, you have read the world wrong. It's not like HE is the stupid ***** running the world bank.
However, remember that YOU talk with him in the same language of the people who run the world bank.
Remember the story of people sitting on high horses?
Don't get me wrong mate, I have most often liked and agreed with your perspective on things. But in this case you are just wrong. Not because the other guy was RIGHT, but because you should have dealt with him in a way better way.
YES he was an idiot.
YES you handled the idiot in an idiotic way.
Summa summarum: Two idiots bickering, I wouldn't have wanted to be in their company (eithers).
classical_hero
05-12-2013, 04:29
I think I explained that in the first posts. In my opinion, the central role a university plays is to be a location for debate, discussion, and research in any form. I expect people to be civil.
You are quite delusional if you really think that.
Sarmatian
05-12-2013, 08:36
“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”
― Frank Zappa
Furunculus
05-13-2013, 23:21
Sounds to me like you won.
agreed, just a shame it needed winning at all.
As someone who spend his last years in too many bars (both working and drinking) and discotheques (the latter almost exclusively working though as that isn't really my kind of thing), all usually completely filled by students some even run by students (such as me) I actually have to agree somewhat with Kadagar.
When facing drunk, aggressive/heated people or just thugs, you have to swallow any pride/opinion you have, smile be friendly and all. I've been threatened with broken beer bottles and while colleagues wanted to call the cops, I asked them to get me and 'my friend' a beer instead. He bought me one back. All they want is some respect, when they get that they are okay. Their pride is no longer damaged and they don't need to do stupid stuff to restore. They couldn't ask for a better way out.
That's what being the better man really is. Getting the trouble making guy out of trouble with his pride and honour intact. There's always a way for that.
So what do you propose I should have done. Evidently, seeing how you were born in glorious Sweden and get laid at least three times a day and drunk twice as many times, you're obviously more competent a person in handling these situations, oh Glory-Viking-of-Testosterone.
Oh, and it's "Hax just has no clue". Thank you.
You addressed it exactly as any discussion needs to be addressed.
Were I you, I clearly would have had a much more hostile language very quickly. He feels insulted? Then he can disappear in a puff of smoke. He needs to leave anyway? All the better. Seriously, don't let anyone grab you by the throat without a physical reply. As soon as he would grab you by the throat, you had several witnesses that he severely physically accosted you and you took the action in self-defence.
I'm with Moros and Kadagar on this one.
During my time at Uni, I was more awake at night than I was during the day and the few of these occasions I encountered, always got defused by somebody saying somthing extremely funny and somebody else buying a few beers.
If you ever encounter such a situation again, keep in mind that staying calm, being funny and beer solve absolutely
everything.
And if they don't, then you are dealing with a teetotaler who has no sense of humour. The best thing you can do when you meet such a person is running. Fast. To avoid catching whatever disease he has.
I studied for one year in Intercollege - Cyprus, where the native Cypriots hate foreign students in their guts. One particular "gangsta" took it upon himself to threaten me over some issue which is not quite clear. I got several phone calls at 2 AM telling me to GTFO off Cyprus if I don't speak Greek. At one point he waited for me outside class with some of his friends. He was looking trough the round window and making threatening, "manly" gestures such as smoking a cigarette bud then throwing it at the window and grinning oh so menacingly.
Since I'm not a guy who can take on 3-4 people by himself, I texted my flatmate who is a long time karate practiioner. He took one of our Ukrnaian friends, whom in turn called a Russian debt collector. The Russian was 2 meters tall, with arms like bloody tree-trunks and tattooed all over.
Needless to say I didn't see that Cypriot "gangsta" ever again. However, an alternative solution would be to cave his head in as he goes out of his car, with either a brick or a piece of steel pipe. I was seriously contemplating this. It's funny that they (the Cypriots) also started stuff wit the arab students who were great guys, always friendly and also a close knit community, much like us Bulgarians, Serbs, Ukranians and Russians. I heard someone got stabbed after that bright idea however.
Anyway my point is that bullies only understand one thing - violence and the imminent threat of losing most of their teeth. Don't go all Mike Tyson on him in the university. Show him you can and will track him down off campus and that you have people backing you up. He will either back off or natural selection will take it's course.
It was no bully, Hax offended him. Which I find hilarious.
I didn't read the whole account but he didn't offend him. He didn't go and yell at him or anything, he was discussing something which he should apparently know since he is of that ethnicity. That guy went out of his way to go to THEIR table REPEATEDLY and resorted to physical violence. If this happened here, the first time you'd be told to get the f... away and mind your own f....ing business. The second time someone will smash a marble ashtray in your nose.
Oh Europe, you and your cultured societies...
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