View Full Version : Need some lesbian princesses
Devastatin Dave
12-19-2002, 17:38
Look, we've got child molesting monarchs, so why not some lesbian princesses? That would be sweet. You could marry her off to a rival faction and he wouldn't get any children because you sent him Rosie O'Donnel to marry. Or a princess who likes ponies. Didn't a Queen of Egland get crushed by a horse while trying to make sweet love to it? Enquiring minds want to know??? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
rasoforos
12-19-2002, 17:59
lesbian princesses sound cool http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
Brother Derfel
12-19-2002, 18:00
Quote[/b] (daveinkorea @ Dec. 19 2002,10:38)]Look, we've got child molesting monarchs, so why not some lesbian princesses? That would be sweet. You could marry her off to a rival faction and he wouldn't get any children because you sent him Rosie O'Donnel to marry. Or a princess who likes ponies. Didn't a Queen of Egland get crushed by a horse while trying to make sweet love to it? Enquiring minds want to know??? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
You dirty dirty old man.......... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
71-hour Ahmed
12-19-2002, 18:10
Catherine the Great was supposed to like reverse horse riding... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
I suggested exactly this a few days ago in another topic in the Main Hall. Lesbian princesses, as well as horrendously ugly ones that drive their husbands to work (so they can stay away from the marital bed).
Or really good lookers that keep generals off the battlefield...
We should start a campaign... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wave.gif
Devastatin Dave
12-19-2002, 18:13
I agree 71, CA needs to put out a new patch with lesbian princesses. Maybe even a butt-ugly vice. It could say, 'Your daughter is so ugly she needs to sneak up on a glass of water. That would rule
Sounds like a great idea to me, since we know this sortof thing occurred. And as everyone wants to use Braveheart examples, I shall too. Remember the prince was gay in that as well, so the princess could sire another factions heir and remove a faction. Heres a way for the Scots to come into play I think.
Naagi http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
Devastatin Dave
12-19-2002, 18:31
The enqusitors would have a field day if lesbian princesses were put in to the mix. It could bring down a whole country once the flames subsided But first you'd have to get the priests off the alter boys for the enqusitions http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
71-hour Ahmed
12-19-2002, 18:44
Imagine the damage to your kings reputation...
Lesbian wife
It has become known his wife prefers the company of his female servants in bed rather than him. His generals and people laugh at him.
-4 influence, -1 piety
Lesbian daughter
his daughter has strange tastes that has led to several incidents involving the serving wenches. His wife is publicly blaming him.
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
rasoforos
12-19-2002, 18:52
hm....ugly princesses , you mary em off to some king and his heirs turn out to be ugly as well , so they suffer influence penalties. how about that?
Devastatin Dave
12-19-2002, 19:02
We could also have princesses infected with various STD's Total Biological war..... oh the horror http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif
Jeroen Hill
12-19-2002, 19:06
Princess Marietta's v&v:
Has HIV and is a possible threat to any men she might marry.
Following events:
The king of France has gratiatly accepted your marriage approsal
The king of France has died due to illness, he has no heirs
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
Devastatin Dave
12-19-2002, 19:13
Your King appears to have contacted a strange growth on his royal member and can no longer produce hiers
Jeroen Hill
12-19-2002, 19:37
While we're on the subject of kings and heirs. Ever noticed that when you're on conquest, your biatch still gives birth to heirs? Yesterday I was playing the English and was fighting in Egypt and she produced 1 heir after another. I wonder whom she's sleeping with.
71-hour Ahmed
12-19-2002, 19:49
I hadnt noticed that, of course, could be he nips back very quickly every now and then. Hello dear, 10 minutes then I'll be back to the war...
On the other hand, given the sort of inbred royal family I tend to acquire over time, shes probably getting set up with the future king to make sure she isnt for the chop... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif
PS: 13 replies on one line in about 2hrs. This has got to be some sort of record.
Devastatin Dave
12-19-2002, 20:05
71, i think that the high response is because these folks thought I had some good pic or AVI's of lesbian princesses Yum http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
seamusmoon
12-20-2002, 01:52
Interesting topic...especially like the butt-ugly and STD v&v's. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
To answer the question about the king on campaign...I think he takes his byaaatch with him, and the rug-rats too, because when an heir or princess matures, they appear in the province currently occupied by the king. It's for this reason that I always try to move my king to a province with the most advanced armorer/metal smith before an heir matures...that way his unit gets the cool armor/weapon upgrades.
Lesbian, as coming from the island of Lesbos? Would be comical to have Trebizon archers, khwarazmian cavalry, Armenian heavy cavalry, Genoan sailors, Lesbian Foot Soldiers http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
It's funny to see how the subject lit up the mind of men/boys like Christmas tree. I should refrain from commenting on how some of the boys/men behave toward someone online just because of the name that person has chosen, for risking of being accused of the crime of arson.
Annie
Dark Prince
12-20-2002, 06:42
Lesbian princess is not bad idea,maybe if you send lesbian princess to the nation that you want to make alliance with,it will success everytime,since man usually attract to lesbian.... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif
Gregoshi
12-20-2002, 08:39
Quote[/b] (Dark Prince @ Dec. 19 2002,23:42)]it will success everytime,since man usually attract to lesbian....
As this thread so proves... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif
A.Saturnus
12-20-2002, 13:27
Quote[/b] ]
it will success everytime,since man usually attract to lesbian....
only the lesbians of their imagination The truth is often enough more disappointing... (for the eyes of these men)
how about:
volupterous
She`s so demanding of the physcal of her husband that he doesn`t have the strength to do his duty - 1 command - 10 health + 100 happiness
71-hour Ahmed
12-20-2002, 15:17
Quote[/b] ]Lesbian, as coming from the island of Lesbos?
Theres an inland??http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif Of lesbians? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif Where? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif
Spetulhu
12-20-2002, 17:00
You got that backwards. 'Lesbian' got to mean 'female homosexual' because the practice was supposedly common on the island of Lesbos http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif
And it`s somewhere between Greece and Turkey, IIRC closer to Turkey but part of Greece.
Devastatin Dave
12-20-2002, 17:13
Travel agent says, May I help you sir?
Daveinkorea says, One way ticket to Lesbos please
dave, you must travel back in time too. I don't think the island of Lesbos' local inhabitants are practicing it now (except the tourists of course). But in ancient time, the practice was prevalent enough to have the Greek use the word people of the Island of Lesbos for practice of the people of Island of Lesbos.
I have heard it's a nice island (as all greek islands; in Canada, pictures of paradises are everywhere, especially in winter time), so conceivably, there are some pilgrimage to the site.
If Sodom is not in the desert, perhaps there are pilgrimage there too http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
Annie
Vlad The Impaler
12-21-2002, 02:40
I'd like to have an harem http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
Devastatin Dave
06-14-2006, 04:34
Look, we've got child molesting monarchs, so why not some lesbian princesses? That would be sweet. You could marry her off to a rival faction and he wouldn't get any children because you sent him Rosie O'Donnel to marry. Or a princess who likes ponies. Didn't a Queen of Egland get crushed by a horse while trying to make sweet love to it? Enquiring minds want to know??? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
An oldie but goodie, watcha think?
. You could marry her off to a rival faction and he wouldn't get any children because you sent him Rosie O'Donnel to marry.? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
Have you seen Braveheart? The king says to his son produce an heir or I'll do it for you. Having a gay son could be an advantage at least in medieval times.
Papewaio
06-14-2006, 05:02
Judge each persons merits by his deeds.
Jesus raised the dead.
While DD raised a dead thread about Lesbian Princesses and Queens into hide the horse sausage. :dizzy2:
A female princess would have too produce heirs no matter what. The butt ugly vice....hahahahaha. The prince would have to turn off the light and close his eyes.
Zalmoxis
06-14-2006, 06:08
Why don't any of you ask the advice of currywurry, resident Lesbian?
To balance it out, you'd have to have the "ugly vice" and "screaming left footer vice" for male heirs as well, of course....
Another thought that comes to mind - if you were stuck with a particularly difficult-to-move princess, why not have some sort of dowry mechanism to help make her more appealing (at least in diplomatic terms) to the target faction? Same applies to butt-ugly princes of course....
I'm all for a bit of bribery and corruption....gee, you can buy a general or army, but not a strategic marriage - what's the go?
InsaneApache
06-14-2006, 10:56
I believe the correct term would be sapphic, not lesbian. I've been to Lesbos, a very nice place, where the men are Lesbians as well. :embarassed:
BTW Dave are you bucking for promotion? :inquisitive: :laugh4:
OT I do hope that CA keep up the humour they displayed in RTW,ok a lot of them are 'in jokes' but the first time I read them I laughed like a drain.
BTW whats with the dates on the posts? Seems this thread was started in 2002.....
lunahehe
06-14-2006, 11:28
Yes, so old thread be talked about again...
InsaneApache
06-14-2006, 11:43
Yes, so old thread be talked about again...
Nope. All the replies have the 02 date on them.
Papewaio
06-14-2006, 11:51
Dave has brought back from the dead one of his threads...
Dutch_guy
06-14-2006, 12:10
Dave has brought back from the dead one of his threads...
Probably one of the first he ever started, judging by the starting date.
:balloon2:
AntiochusIII
06-14-2006, 12:33
Necromancy! Schomomancy!
And it is a testament to an average peer of mine that we are so greedy two women always seem more attractive than one, and what do lesbians represent but a chance for two? :balloon2:
Quite personally I think they represent man's ever aching desire to have what he cannot. 3somes aside, I think every man, given the chance to be consciously re-born as a woman, just might do so solely to become a lesbian.
Then he'd have his first period and realize how much being a woman totally sucks. :wall: <---this, I feel would be the common response to said incident.
Mithrandir
06-14-2006, 12:53
on the original topic :
I;m sure we'd all wish for the retun of movies like STW had when they implement this :eyebrows:
...been single for too long again I notice.
Avicenna
06-14-2006, 13:49
The horse crushing urban myth is Tsarina (or Tsar?) Catherine the Great.
Seconded, Mithrandir!
Devastatin Dave
06-14-2006, 14:26
on the original topic :
I;m sure we'd all wish for the retun of movies like STW had when they implement this :eyebrows:
...been single for too long again I notice.
Just as long they don't have any of your camel units in the movies!!!
I remember when I posted this thread actually. I was on mid-tour from Korea and had just joined the Org. My fisrt thread was some dopey thread I believe title "All nations born in blood" or something cheesy like that. It was about how the majority of nations have been formed throught bloody conflict. Man those were the days!!! I could use my "tea bag" retort with zero reproccusions. I guess all my old mates have been able to change with the times while I remain a dirty little monkey, hence my demotion.:2thumbsup:
Time to do some more digging, I'm going to look for some from way back.
Love you guys, smoochies...
Shaka_Khan
06-14-2006, 14:34
Look, we've got child molesting monarchs, so why not some lesbian princesses? That would be sweet. You could marry her off to a rival faction and he wouldn't get any children because you sent him Rosie O'Donnel to marry. Or a princess who likes ponies. Didn't a Queen of Egland get crushed by a horse while trying to make sweet love to it? Enquiring minds want to know??? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif
You can do that with KOEI's Romance of the Three Kingdoms. I'm not sure about the recent versions. You can only marry women generals or advisors to other women general or advisors. Unfortunately, you can only tell that their lesbians by seeing their marriage status. KOEI left out the details. ~D
OT I do hope that CA keep up the humour they displayed in RTW,ok a lot of them are 'in jokes' but the first time I read them I laughed like a drain.
Okay - I have to ask (having never encountered this phrase before) - "laughed like a drain"? Where did you pull that one from InsaneApache? :inquisitive:
Theres an inland??http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif Of lesbians? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif Where? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif
lol :elephant: :elephant:
InsaneApache
06-15-2006, 10:47
Okay - I have to ask (having never encountered this phrase before) - "laughed like a drain"? Where did you pull that one from InsaneApache? :inquisitive:
Well I had to look it up, but it's been in use in the UK (and Oz) for quite some time.
laugh like a drain (British & Australian)
to laugh very loudly. I told her what had happened and she laughed like a drain.
idioms (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/laughed+like+a+drain)
:inquisitive:
It's a bottler! I'm hanging out for the chance to use it....
Oh...sorry to have diverted all.....we can get back to the lesbians now if you want to.....I'll just sit back here laughing....like a drain.... :laugh4: :laugh4:
roman pleb
06-24-2006, 19:37
Laugh like a drain= laugh loudly?
All my drains are pretty quiet
Maybe it gets lower and lower....
edyzmedieval
06-25-2006, 10:14
Talk about ressurecting a thread, eh Davvye? :grin:
Or you really wanna know the guys' opinion if you should go on the Lesbos Island? :inquisitive:
Quite personally I think they represent man's ever aching desire to have what he cannot. 3somes aside, I think every man, given the chance to be consciously re-born as a woman, just might do so solely to become a lesbian.
Then he'd have his first period and realize how much being a woman totally sucks. :wall: <---this, I feel would be the common response to said incident.
This thread is hilarious.
People at work are looking at me strangely...
^^^^^
Get back to work:director:
vBulletin® v3.7.1, Copyright ©2000-2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.